"Maureen, where the fuck have you been all night?" bellowed a very furious Joanne as her angry eyes shifted from the kitchen clock, which read 12.05 pm, to Maureen, who had just walked into the door with her hair all mussed up, makeup all smudged and her clothes all dishevelled.
"Aww Pookie, please! I'm sorry! I just spent the night at my friend Lucky Spencer after we had a couple of drinks at the Life Café!" begged Maureen, who suddenly looked really sexy and sweet and pouty even though she had more makeup on her face than Krusty the Clown.
But, Joanne wasn't ready to buy into that. "Oh right, and I'm sure you just slept with her while you were there, didn't you? Didn't you?" Her voice got higher and higher with anger as she stood there with her arms crossed firmly over her chest.
Maureen slumped to the floor and sobbed quietly, her Krusty-the-Clown makeup still looking absolutely perfect despite the tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry Pookie, but I can't help it. Almost every single fanfic writer that I know loves to put me in all kinds of affairs. I don't know why. Apparently everyone thinks I'm some kind of self-absorbed, vain, selfish, slutty Drama Queen who keeps on having affairs behind her snobbish, control-freak lawyer girlfriend!" she wailed.
Joanne glared at Maureen even more (if that's even possible) and crossed her hands harder over her chest, crushing her boobs in the process. "What? How dare they say that? They have no fucking business calling me a snobbish control-freak!"
"Well it is true, after all," quipped Benny, who randomly climbed in through the window because I thought that if he were to randomly appear again, he could at least have an interesting way to do so.
Joanne glared even more at Benny, her glare angry enough to grill an entire cow. "Benny? How the fuck did you get here? And what do you mean, it's true?"
Benny trembled in fear as he stood in the corner of the room. "I'm here because this stupid author seems to get a strange kick out of making me randomly pop up in places where I have absolutely no reason to be. And it is true that you're a control freak! Don't you remember that fanfic where you got so pissed off at me for stealing your Doc Martens that you chased me around the whole of New York fucking City screaming profanities at me like a crazed mental patient and then you eventually ripped my balls right off in the middle of the street while that little Jewish geek with the nerdy scarf filmed everything?"
Joanne took a few menacing steps towards him, her fists clenched tightly into balls. "Those Doc Martens weren't just shoes, you asshole! They were my babies! If it were legal, Maureen and I would have adopted them as children by now!" she bellowed again. Then she took a deep breath to calm herself down. And then she said:
"Benny, I'd like you to leave right now. Looking at you is only gonna make me angrier."
Benny groaned like an annoyed teenager on Laundry Night. "I can't do that! Because you see, this crazy-ass author also gets some kind of sick pleasure watching me deal with situations that would otherwise scare the living crap outta me. You really think I want to come near you after that horrific episode?" he said, shuddering dramatically.
Joanne turned to look at Maureen, who also wore the same death glare on her face and had her fists clenched at her side, even though Joanne was the one who was actually completely pissed off, and then looked back at Benny. "Well then Benjamin. Since I have a whole lotta anger here to get rid off and you're just randomly here, why don't we make the best of it?" she said, grinning evilly at Maureen, who grinned evilly back at Joanne, who grinned evilly at Benny, who grinned evilly at-
No no wait. Benny can't possible grin evilly at anyone if he's about to get beaten up by two angry lesbians now, can he? –snickers-
And so the two angry lesbians punched Benny black and blue (who was suddenly randomly tied up to the lamp post because I thought it could like something out of a soft porn movie) until they were no longer angry……
Hahahahahahaah! Poor Benny. Oh, and by the way, the two stories that I've dropped in there are "Untitled" by governments worst nightmare and "Rainy days and very weird noises" by Bearfeetz. Go check them out, they're really funny. –giggles-
