A/N: Wow, I'm completely blown away by the response the prologue got! You are all amazing, so this is for everyone. I apologize for the long wait.

***Some have asked if Kira is going to join ZAFT, but sadly the answer is no. Though I like the idea, it wont be used in this story since I have some other plans for our Ultimate Coordinator. As to when Kira and Athrun figure out they're both from the future, you will have to wait and see and them reuniting…well, that's also a wait and see.^-^


Gundam SEED: The Veiled Light

Phase 01: "The Burden of Fate"


Kira was dreaming and within the fog-laced world he found himself roaming, this was the only fact he knew for absolute certain…but even then, knowing that this was all a dream, did not make it hurt any less.

There was blood. Red dripping and everywhere. So much, that the sight made him want to be sick. So much, and no matter where he turned, it wasn't going away. There was screaming. God-awful shrieking he desperately wanted to silence. Cries that radiated torture and pain, emanating from deep inside the swirling mists and rivers of blood, high-pitched and so terrifying that tears formed to hear such abject agony.

and he could smell burning rubber, smell that tell-tale sickly sweet stench of rotting flesh and charred skin, mixed in with a sulphurous metallic odour unique to mobile suits in the midst of their death throes. He could feel the heat and see the fire burning, sense the vast chaotic rumble and cascade of multiple explosives searing-

But it was a lie. In reality, there was just the mist and blood and screaming, for there were no real burning fires nor the spark of a raging battle…For it was a dream and everything he saw, everything his mind deemed fit to conjure, were simply the haunting echoes of each memory he had.

To be stuck alone, with just his past as a constant companion, was a fate far worse than anything he himself could have thought up as punishment.

"You let us die."

And then he wasn't so alone anymore as his twin sister stepped out from the white expanse, accusation blazing in her otherwise dull amber eyes.

"How could you watch us die?"

Kira wanted to refuse, to deny her claims and explain, but he could get no audible sound to leave his lips.

"Where were you when I burnt?" Cagalli whispered, a deformed hand ghosting over his cheek before she faded out of existence.

Kira wanted to wake up now.

"It hurts." A voice murmured and he whirled around to meet the dead blue eyes of the girl he had eventually fallen for.

Lacus Clyne was strikingly beautiful, even with that cold smile touching too-pale lips and her white dress stained a muddy red amongst the burnt edges.

"It hurts so much…"

Tears that had been steadily building from the start, now fell at the words uttered so casually.

"Why didn't you return?" She asked. "You promised to come back to me."

Kira attempted to reach out, to reassure the now trembling girl, but like Cagalli, she too faded away…only to be replaced by someone else.

"It's all your fault." Flay Allster stated softly, steel grey eyes sharp and cold and Kira could only stare at the burnt skin that marred the entire right side of her face. "You're a failure, such a monster…Anyone even remotely close to you is gone, dead…and it's all your fault."

"That's not true!" He protested but the redhead just laughed, a cruel sound considering the next words to leave her mouth.

"Oh, but it is dear, sweet Kira…" Flay smiled and suddenly more ghost-like figures began to join her, circling around him.

There were so many familiar faces that it hurt…Mu, Murrue, Natarle, Waltfeld, crewmen of the Archangel, faces of people he himself had personally killed, Cagalli and Lacus in the background…and Flay was talking to him again.

"You couldn't protect little Elle."

Said blonde girl stepped forward from the growing crowd, fiddling with a crushed and worn origami flower, tears in her aquamarine eyes as she held it out towards him.

"You said it would be alright…" Elle whispered, her pale skin blistered. "You were supposed to look after us…and now Mama is gone…"

"You couldn't save Tolle when he was shot out of the sky." Flay continued.

Tolle appeared as Elle stepped back, dressed in a pilot suit like the one he had worn the day he died…only it was now streaked in ash and grit and stained with dark red patches.

"I died trying to protect you…" The brunet hissed. "…and you couldn't even keep Mir safe once I was gone."

Kira could feel his body begin to shake.

"Even that ZAFT pilot did more than you!"

Flay laughed as Tolle's heated words rang all around them and one by one, the dismembered otherworldly copies began to disappear. Then she turned to face him, cold delight shining in her eyes.

"Do you see it now? Do you see exactly how useless you are?" She asked. " …and to think, that was merely the tip of people you managed to fail!"

Flay giggled wickedly as she circled his trembling form with slow, almost predatory steps.

"At the end of it all, despite the many promises you made and your supposed best efforts, you just couldn't save anyone."

"I tried." Kira whispered hoarsely, not really believing his own words. Even so, he didn't want any of that to be true. "I did try…"

"It wasn't good enough!" Flay shouted angrily, her pale hands pushing him backwards. "We're all gone!"

The redhead vanished and the brunet sunk to his knees.

"This was all inevitable."

Kira met emerald green eyes and his entire body tensed.

"Athrun…"

"The answer is really quite simple." The coordinator murmured. "Given what you are."

Kira froze.

"What…I don't-"

"You're a monster, an abomination." Athrun interrupted, throwing something to the ground just as he began to fade. "A 'thing' like you, could never be a saviour."

Kira stared at the object Athrun had cast aside.

Torii's lifeless red eyes, his robotic body mutilated...

Now he was alone in the stark white world that smelled of old blood and fire, the screams of the dying drumming loudly in his ears…and then a great pressure descending, pressing from every angle and suddenly hundreds of voices were whispering his failings...Torii lying there...

He screamed.


Kira woke from the nightmare, tremulous, sweating and gasping for oxygen that he could not seem to find. A pair of arms were wrapped around him, creating a cloak of warmth and pressure that should have brought comfort but only served to make the brunet feel utterly trapped.

"No…"

"Shh, sweetheart…" A woman murmured softly, brushing aside his damp hair even as he struggled feebly in her grasp. "It was a nightmare, just a bad dream. Relax, go back to sleep."

The familiar voice of his mother- No! Not his mother, knew her as his mother, was his mother. So confused. Nothing made sense. His chest tightened painfully and her gentle, whispered words only made him want to scream.

Memories hit him like a flood; awakening in the room he once had on Heliopolis, Torii chirping at his bedside…parents rushing to check up on him…

"I'm here, don't you worry." Caridad murmured.

…but he did worry and he could not relax. For she could not be here and neither could he. He had been drifting, lost in space, with little air left and all those he had known dead, dying…

He had been dying.

"Please Kira…You need to calm down…"

Her words meant little in the world breaking around him. They meant little compared to his fear and confusion, and that gnawing sensation that something was not quite what it had been, that something had changed.

"Hiruma! He's not breathing!" Caridad screamed, but Kira was far beyond caring, especially when his world darkened once more and her cries faded with his consciousness.

-O-

Glowing red eyes and comments tainted by venom and hatred, anger and fiery rage. He was drowning in the despair. Couldn't run. Couldn't hide. No one left. All dead, dying, gone...

"Breathe...deep breaths, in and out, in and out..."

Kira wasn't sure if he was still dreaming. Someone was speaking. The room was dark.

...and he couldn't breathe properly.

"Don't worry love. Everything is alright." The voice whispered and he felt a slight pinch in his arm. Panic overwhelmed him. "...just a sedative...will help..."

And the world was fading and this time, there were no dreams. No monsters.

-O-

The third time Kira opened his eyes, the room wasn't quite as dark as it had been before, proven by the soft glimmers of light trying to shine through his drawn curtains.

The first thing he noticed after this, was that he was panicking once again but instead of his mother's tender tones, this time, an unfamiliar clinical voice (had he heard it before?) was instructing him to breathe slowly. Steady arms helped him to sit up when he tried on his own, then helped him to take a few sips of water from an offered glass. The cool liquid was like heaven to his sore throat.

"There you go love, easy does it."

Now that Kira wasn't as disorientated, his body reflexively flinched away from the warm contact, his eyes shifting to access the room with careful scrutiny before turning to meet kind grey-green eyes.

"W-Who are you?" He asked warily, voice thick from disuse and the possible screaming he had done while dreaming (maybe he was still dreaming?).

The middle-aged woman smile despite his less than friendly tone and moved back a few steps, removing her hands from where they held his arms.

"Yuka Ayame." She introduced, holding out a surprisingly dainty hand even with its many calluses and rough edges. When he did no more than look at it, the woman continued as if it was nothing too important, brushing a strand of weathered brown hair behind an ear before speaking again.

"I'm a nurse and psychiatrist at the Heliopolis Medical Institute. You mother called me last night when you developed a pretty terrible fever."

"…Fever?"

Yuka nodded in answer to his quiet question.

"Fever, severe nightmares and hysteria." She said. "These symptoms are generally quite serious as a combination, but given what you are-"

"And what exactly am I?" Kira interrupted bitterly, not able to stop himself from reacting as the recollection of his dream made its self known.

"A coordinator love, unless, I have your genetic information wrong?" She asked curiously.

Kira flinched but did not answer, then he averted his eyes in order to avoid meeting her puzzled gaze.

Of course she had it wrong! After all, he wasn't just the average coordinator, was he?

Monster…failure…abomination…The haunting of his dream echoed cruelly within his mind.

-"You are the dream of humanity. The Ultimate Coordinator. It was Dr. Hibiki who first created the artificial womb. And you were the only viable child it ever produced. For that reason, a large number of your siblings were sacrificed."-

Kira shivered at that singular memory of Rau Le Creuset's mocking speech that he had found tinted with resentment and an oddly placed awe that left him confused.

"Kira?"

The brunet blinked.

"Yes?"

Yuka Ayame stared at him for a long moment until she seemed to find whatever it was she wanted, for then she began packing away miscellaneous items into a black bag.

"Well, your fever has receded for the most part, which is good. I have prescribed some tablets to help you sleep an recommend you get as much fluids as possible."

The woman gave him a measured glance before she continued.

"I want you to take it easy. For the nightmares and hysteria, there is little I can do without knowing the cause…"

Another measured glance.

Kira shrugged, not willing to explain even if any explanation he could give would sound partially sane…And how would he explain it to the nurse, when he himself did not understand?

-"I remember being several months in the not-too-far off future, dying on a ravaged battlefield, only to wake up in my home on the colony I watched get destroyed"- Oh yes, that would go down so very well.

"...Very well, then I recommend learning to calm yourself in case there are more panic attacks. It probably wont mean much, seeing as we don't know each other, but I'm going to make the offer regardless." Yuka then announced, startling the brunet from his morbid internal debate.

Kira met her gaze evenly.

"If you are ever in need of something, anything even if it seems silly, feel free to come see or speak to me."

The woman gave him one last smile, placing a white card on his desk before taking leave of the room.

Once the bedroom door had snapped shut and the sound of her footsteps had receded completely, Kira gingerly climbed out of bed and picked up the card to inspect it.

The white surface contained an address and two phone numbers, one of which he recognized as the landline for the Heliopolis Medical Institute. Scrawled on the other side in black ink was a cell phone number.

Kira stared blankly at the digits for a long time, not really noticing when the card slipped from his fingers and fell back onto the desk. His own body sank to the floor moments later and hands buried themselves into dark brown hair as he let loose a shaky sigh.

He didn't know what was going on, didn't understand how something like this could happen…Maybe this was a hallucination and he was still trapped in the Freedom, dying an agonizingly slow death? Or maybe the entire war had been some wild dream cooked up by his imagination and he had never really done any of those things he recalled?

But it was all so real, so recent…Logic declared he was back in the past, back in a time before any of those horrifying events had occurred…but time travel, that wasn't possible, was it?

Kira sighed again, breathing in deeply to steady his wildly beating heart.

He heard Torii chirp from somewhere in the room and shuddered, closing his eyes.

Whatever this was, this madness he had been thrown into without warning, the brunet knew one thing for certain…this constant stress was going to be the end of him.


Yuka Ayame was not a young woman. At the age of forty three and with numerous certificates to back up her extensive medical knowledge, as well as a younger sister working at Orb's Morgenroute facility and the aunt to two children, she felt quite within her rights to make such a self-assessment.

Yet despite this simple fact, the Yamato boy made her feel so much younger...and not in the good way.

How could a fifteen year old boy have such old eyes? Eyes that made her feel as if he had seen things she could never begin to comprehend. The kind of eyes that screamed war and hurt and death...A high school student with the eyes of a soldier...it was unnerving to state the least.

Heading down the stairs slowly, the nurse stepped into the living room where the parents of her strange patient sat in wait.

"How is he?" Caridad immediately asked, her dark eyes teary and shining with worry.

"He is fine for now. The fever has entirely subsided." Yuka offered hesitantly. What did she tell them? That she suspected there was more to their sons condition then she could figure out. "I am going to prescribe some tablets to help him sleep, he has antibiotics to get rid of the virus that caused the fever, but otherwise he is fine, although I would advise you to keep an eye on him."

"What could have caused such an extreme reaction?" Hiruma Yamato asked quietly while his wife sighed in relief.

War. Yuka thought but didn't voice that particular opinion. There was no way the boy could have seen even the shadow of a battle field.

"I wont presume anything." She told the parents. "However, maybe Kira has been stressed lately and his mind doesn't know how else to handle it."

"He is taking more lessons than most..." Caridad stated unsurely, glancing at her husband.

Yuka shrugged and shook their hands, preparing to leave.

"There is only so much I can do without knowing the cause and Kira was not very forthcoming with information." She said. "Take it easy, give him some space for now and when he is ready, he will talk. If there are any more problems, let me know."

"Thank you so much Yuka." Caridad said.

"Anytime Caridad."

Yuka made her way down the street to where her car was parked. As she climbed inside and deposited her bag on the passenger seat, her phone rang.

"Yuka Ayame?" A woman's voice inquired.

"Yes."

"This is Elene Stilton from the downtown police station, are you the aunt of Kinomi Murase?"

Yuka sighed.

"Yes I am Ms. Stilton, what seems to be the problem?"

"I am going to have to ask you to come to the station." Elene said gravelly. "I will inform you of the details once here and then you may take your niece home."

"Very well, I will be there now."

Yuka ended the call and rubbed her eyes wearily.

Oh Kinomi, what trouble have you found now?


It had been a week since he had been discharged from the infirmary and Athrun wasn't quite sure how he should react around people that he considered dead or quite frankly, could not remember.

It was odd trying to behave normally when he did not know what normal was. His past recollections consisted of escalating violence that never seemed to end and fighting, the constant stink of death and sorrow…All this semi-peace, was more than a little disconcerting.

Just two days back, he had received a letter from his father- His father that he saw die!- it hadn't contained much except for a clinical wish that he get better soon, something Patrick Zala's secretary had most likely written, because strange dream world or whatever the hell he had been thrown into, Athrun knew one thing for certain...Patrick Zala never wrote any of his letters to his son personally.

The emerald eyed teen sighed and opened the door to his dorm room which he shared with Nicol, Yzak and Dearka. Said boys were already inside, along with Miguel, Tarin, Rusty and another redhead he vaguely remembered as Jeris Arnolds. They were playing cards.

"Hey Athrun!" Nicol greeted brightly and the rest of the room noticed his arrival.

"You finished with your check up already?" Miguel asked and he nodded slightly. "How are things?"

Athrun shrugged.

"Dr. Hue says the bandages can come off in a few days. My ribs are still a bit tender but he says that's normal."

"Great." Dearka cheered. "That means our squads training will start again soon which also means graduation if we get through the next few months with success."

"I don't see why we couldn't carry on with our training in the meantime." Yzak muttered. "It's not like we were all injured."

Rusty rolled his eyes from his seat beside Nicol and Tarin sighed. It seemed to be an old argument. "We are a team Joule, all our exercises are team-based and designed for eight people to participate." The redhead said.

"Yeah and its not like it was Athrun's fault he got injured." Jeris said softly.

Yzak Joule's expression was cold

"Whatever."

Athrun stood awkwardly nearby, not knowing how to participate or if he even should.

"Want to join in?" Nicol asked, seeming to read his mind.

"Yeah, we're just finishing up this round." Miguel added.

-explosions. Loud and destructive. Taking lives-

"N-No, it's fine." Athrun stammered slightly blushing when they turned to stare at him, looking confused. "I think I'm going to shower early."

Athrun quickly left the room, ignoring the groups whispered comments and trying to calm his panicked heartbeats.

"Do you guys think he's ok?" Nicol asked, brown eyes concerned.

"Why should we care?" Yzak snapped standing up while Miguel narrowed his eyes.

"He's our team mate...or don't you care that his problems might effect our performances during tests?"

Yzak huffed and stalked out the room. Dearka stood and followed at a leisurely pace, commenting. "He's just mad because Athrun scored better despite the injury." And too left the room.

"Should one of us make sure Zala is ok?" Rusty asked, looking to Miguel for an answer. The blond shook his head.

"Leave him be. We'll all keep an eye on him and if he doesn't seem to come right, then we can decide to intervene if necessary."

"Fine by me." Tarin said quietly and began reshuffling the cards.

In the bathroom under a spray of water so hot it was almost boiling, Athrun took deep breaths to calm his mind and stop the tremble that now racked his body.

"Calm down, you have to calm down." He chanted under his breath.

Fire and blood. Screams. Cries...agony...

The emerald-eyed coordinator shut his eyes to the memories and grit his teeth.

He was reliving his past. Certain things had yet to happen.

The Strike exploding in a shower of hot metal. GENESIS firing. War. Death. Destruction.

His clenched fist slammed into the wall, a white tile cracking under the force.

He was not going to let this win. He would not succumb to his past. He would change it all and this time, he knew what the right path was.

Athrun opened his eyes slowly and took in the new injury with a detached air.

Everything was going to be different.


Finding the courage to walk through the streets of Heliopolis was like revisiting his dreams. Dreams of a time before ZAFT's infiltration of the neutral colony. Memories of events before all that he knew became mobile suits and destruction...A naïve, blissful life tainted only by the outside hints and happenings of a war that had yet to reach their side.

Kira sighed quietly, letting his amethyst eyes trail slowly over familiar buildings and other landmarks, still intact and not debris on the floor.

It was surreal.

He still wasn't sure what had happened. All the brunet knew, was that one minute he had been in the Freedom surrounded by the remains of battle and then he had been waking up in his Heliopolis bedroom...and after checking the calendar, had found the date claiming he was only a few months away from the day the colony exploded.

For the moment, instead of driving himself down a one way path to insanity, Kira had decided to accept this as some kind of time travel and simply go with it for now.

What else could he do?

Sighing, he only flinched slightly when Torii settled on his arm with a soft chirp.

-mangled remains and dull red eyes-

He shook his head and smiled slightly,

"What do you say to changing the world?"

The bird merely whistled and Kira sighed.

He didn't know what had happened, whether this was a dream, coma or some bizarre twist of fate? But he did know he couldn't just stand by and watch his past or memories repeat themselves.

"Let's get home Torii. Seems like I have some investigating to do."


A/N: Please review.