Where is she?

Mickey moved in with Jackie and Pete to help with Tony, so he was there about 6 months later when the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS started. Putting Tony in his bedroom, Mickey ran out to the living room where a blue box was slowly appearing, the key on the table was glowing and all Mickey could do was sink into the couch and wait.

The Doctor came bounding out of the TARDIS, happy as could be, he hoped rose had her key on her because he could only stay for about an hour or he'd be stuck. What he saw was Mickey sitting on a couch in what looked like the Tyler mansion, "Well, Where is she?" Looking around he saw no signs of Rose, he saw Mickey pat the couch next to him so he sat down, still not understanding, "Is she out shopping with Jackie?"

Mickey had tears silently streaming down his cheeks as he handed the Doctor the little journal that Rose had left behind for Tony, they had made a copy of it for Tony and decided to keep the original for the Doctor in case he ever showed up because they a letter for him in the back of it. The Doctor read though the first two pages before he turned to Mickey and asked in a strangled voice, "Did she tell anyone?"

Mickey shook his head, "Only Pete and she wouldn't let him test her, she went traveling for a while and ended up in America, apparently she got tested there when she first saw you in New York. She wasn't sure if it was all real or not but she said, in her letter to me, that she thought that sometimes it must actually be you because she had never sent the blue suit before but she had a feeling you were actually wearing it." The Doctor put his head in his hands and cried once again for the love he had let slip through his fingers.

Jackie and Pete came home then, "Hey Mickey! How is Tony? What did you…" she stopped short when she saw the Doctor crying, and though it still hurt that her baby girl was gone she knew that it was not his fault and so she dropped her bags and sat next to him, putting her arms around him. "I'm sorry Doctor, I'm so sorry. She said that no matter what happened she was with you, she knew what was going to happen and the only people she worried about was us, and you."

The Doctor looked at Jackie and Pete with red-rimmed eyes, getting up he shook Pete's hand, hugged both Mickey and Jackie, and then walked back into the TARDIS. Hitting the buttons to go home, he left the console room to read through the journal, it was the last thing he had of Rose, and he wanted to cherish it.

Several hours later after reading through all of the adventures they had from Rose's point of view, he realized just how much she loved him and how badly he had hurt her with Reinette, but that she still wanted to stay with him, learning to see them through her eyes, he wished that he had just told her how he felt. Reading about her travels around the world and how he had appeared, he would have to agree that maybe she tapped into his mind occasionally, because he had worn the blue suit and he did wear the brown for those two days.

Then he got to the letter and that broke his heart even more,

Dear Doctor,

How I wish I could see again before I go, I loved traveling the stars with you. You changed my life you know, everything I thought, how I looked at my life. I missed you but I knew I would be okay eventually but then I found out about the tumor and that was when I thought I should stay away from home so my parents would never have to know, it wasn't until Seattle when I knew I would have to go home, I'm not sure what changed my mind, but I think it was how sad you looked. Knowing how special that day should have been but instead we were both alone, it made me realize that my parents deserved time with me before I was gone. See, you weren't even really there and you changed how I thought. I'm going to miss you Doctor, I know you'll find a way back but by then I will be gone, I don't have much longer left. I love you, I always will, don't be alone okay? You need someone, I want you to have someone, and if you fall in love again, don't wait, don't hide yourself away until it's too late, let me teach you something. Good-bye My Doctor.

Rose

Every now and then one of his companions would find this journal in the library and some would ask about it, when they did the Doctor would smile, a little bitter-sweet smile, that shared a wealth of emotions and he would answer with the same answer every time, "It was my friend Roses, I lost her on an alternate universe and didn't get to her in time," then his smile would get a little brighter and he would look into their eyes, "And I loved her, she taught me that it was okay to love, and that's why you're here." Then he would start talking about where they should go next, this happened with more then one companion over the next several centuries, he never again fell in love with any of them, but he also never stopped telling them that he cared for them.