D.S.W.N.F.O.S::. HEY, I'M BACK AND I ACTUALLY FINISHED A SECOND CHAPTER! Yeah, I really don't know what else to write in this annoying author's notes except read and review….guess that's it. Enjoy!
Chapter 2
Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing!
"RAHHHH, WHAT IS THAT NOISE? GO AWAY, I WANNA SLEEP!"
Knock, knock.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, PUNK!"
"What the hell is your problem?" A muffled voice exclaimed. The angry bird glanced up at the window and puffed himself up, frustrated that he was awoken from his nap. There stood the white haired teen with his face pressed against the glass.
"What do you want, kid? Can't you tell that I'm trying to get some sleep," Mr. Puffin grunted and ruffled up his feathers when Iceland opened the back car door. Iceland didn't answer at first, instead his eyes scanned the inside of the vehicle and peeked over the seats; nothing new.
"I'm looking for our dumb ass driver; have you seen him?" Iceland asked with a sigh. "The ferry is getting ready to dock and they want the passengers with cars to leave first, however, our designated driver is missing in action."
"He's missing?" The bird cocked his head to the side, "quick, get in the car and drive away before he reappears and-."
Slam! Before he could finish the rest of his sentence, Iceland pushed the door back and stomped away from the car. Guess that means he hasn't seen Denmark either, he thought as he walked back up to the main deck. Denmark was the one with all of their money, their passports, and, more importantly, the keys to the car. Iceland had checked everywhere on the ferry, even the kitchen, but there was no Denmark to be found. "Maybe I should try his phone," he muttered to himself as he pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts. As soon as Denmark's name popped up, Iceland hit the "Send" button. Iceland leaned himself up against a wall and waited patiently for the blonde to pick up.
"WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!" Suddenly, Iceland heard something slam against a car window and, of course, it came from Denmark's car; their car. He quickly ran towards the BMW only to see Mr. Puffin pecking at a small rectangular object. Of course it had to be Denmark's phone. That idiot, he thought as he opened the car door and retrieved it before the bird could do anymore damage to it. The sound of static was coming from the phone and a faint voice cracked through it.
"Anko….Denmark, what was that noise? Did you crash the car? Where's Ice? Anko, answer me dammit! If something happened to Ice, you're a fucking dead man, you hear me!"
"Nor, stop yelling; it's just me," the Icelandic sighed. Why does Norway have to be so overprotective all the time? I can take care of myself!
"I'm overprotective because I'm your brother, remember?"Norway chuckled from the other line. "Well, at least you're not dead, but why are you calling me on Anko's phone?"
"Thanks for caring, bróðir, and Mr. Puffin accidentally called you on Den's cell after he tried to kill it with his beak," Iceland replied as he fiddled with his own phone. "Plus, we lost Denmark. I've looked for him everywhere on the ferry and, unless he decided to swim to your house, I don't have a fucking clue where he is. " There was a moment of silence as he waited for the other to speak. "Norway, are you still there?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. Why do you need Anko anyways? You can leave him there on the ferry by himself; the worst he could do is sink the ferry again." Iceland started to rub his temple as he tried to find the right words to say. He didn't want his brother to think of him as an idiot who actually thought that Denmark could be trusted with everyone's money and passports. Oh well, he thought, guess I deserve this anyways.
"Denmark has all of our stuff: money, passports, keys, etc, etc and-."
"Wait, keys? Aren't you taking a taxi when you get here?" Norway asked with confusion.
"Denmark is driving us there." Another moment of silence, but this one lasted much, much longer until the blonde on the other line burst into laughter. "Norway, are you sick or something? Did Hell freeze over again? Because I have never heard you laugh once in my entire life and that's been a pretty freaking long time." After about two straight minutes of laughter, Norway finally calmed down.
"Yeah, bror…if I find you dead on the side of a mountain, can I have your island?"
"Norway, I'm not going to die and if I do then no, you can't have my island; Mr. Puffin gets it first," Iceland said as he rolled his eyes in irritation. "Besides, why don't you have any faith in Denmark?"
"Ice, that moron has been riding his bike for years; what makes you think he know how to drive a car?" Norway asked with a monotone voice.
"He drove us to the ferry."
"I'm surprised he even got that far," Norway snickered. "Well, if you find him, tell him congratulations on getting this far, and may Odin have mercy on your souls."
"Thanks, Nor, you're a real lifesaver," the teen replied sarcastically, "anything else you'd like to tell us?"
"Have you told him about the mountains?"
"Yes, I've told him about the goddamn mountains already and he freaked out."
"Oh, you're fine then, just remember to pick up some more cake on the way, be sure to get here on time, and that's all. See you soon, lite bror," said the Norwegian.
"Bye." With that being said, Iceland hung up the phone and shoved it in his pocket; he really didn't feel like dealing with this right now.
Denmark, where the heck are you?
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him; what are you talking about?"
"His smile is too big and he's giggling uncontrollably. Tell me what's wrong with him."
"I already told you that nothing is wrong with him! He's perfectly fine."
"He's drunk, isn't he?" A long pause followed as the bird and the nation stared at each other.
"Yep," Iceland sighed in the passenger seat as he buckled Denmark's seat belt. After searching the ferry once more, Iceland finally found him, with beer in hand, in the men's bathroom. In the end, Iceland had to drag the Dane back to the car before scolding him on how it's not a good idea to be drunk while driving.
"I knew we shouldn't have left him alone," Mr. Puffin huffed as he settled in the back seat. "This is your fault since you should have been watching him closer."
"Shut up, you didn't say anything like that and do I look like a babysitter to you?"
"Yes, yes you do." The two of them growled at each other while Denmark sat in the driver seat; a few passengers gave him strange looks as he waved in their direction.
"Aww, look at all of these nice people. I wonder if Norge is friends with any of them," the Dane slurred as he slumped farther down into the seat.
"No, Denmark, these are your people who are traveling to Norway. If these were his people then they probably would have killed you by now."
"Hey, that guy's looking at me weird." Then suddenly Denmark rolled the window down and was yelling at the man. "Hey! Yeah, you! You don't come after me, man; I have a fucking badass axe in the back of this car and-." A couple nearby began to sprint to their car as Denmark's rant was soon drowned out by the sound of him honking the car horn before Iceland grabbed his hands. The blonde struggled to get out of the Icelandic's grip and continued to whine about how the situation was totally unfair.
"Denmark, stop it!" Iceland shouted, but Denmark's voice was much louder than his. "Denmark! Shut. The. Fuck. Up," Iceland finally yelled as he smacked the man across the face several times. "You have to calm down or you're going to get us in trouble, again. Now, stop being drunk and get ready to drive." Denmark sniffled a bit from the sting on his cheek, but calmed immediately.
"Yes, sir," he finally replied as Iceland released his hands. Denmark gently placed his hands on the steering wheel and quietly waited for more instructions.
"Do you cause this much trouble for Norway?" Iceland questioned as he pulled out the GPS out of the glove compartment.
"I only do it out of love."
"This is hopeless," Mr. Puffin grunted as he fluffed himself up and got ready to take a small nap. Everything was quiet in the BMW until Denmark started to fiddle with the radio. Not annoying happy Danish music, Iceland thought to himself, anything but that. Instead, light Norwegian music came through the speakers, much to the Icelandic's pleasure.
"Dude, they changed my radio stations again!" The driver suddenly shouted as he continued to turn the radio dial.
"We're in Norway, idiot! They play Norwegian music, so stop changing the station." The battle for the radio began once more as the two slapped the other one's hands. Mr. Puffin, wanting to avoid anymore issues, kept quiet in the back seat while the two quarreled and argued. "You told me I could control the radio when we got to Norway!" Iceland muttered.
"This is my car, though," Denmark exclaimed as he push random buttons on the receiver. "Stop fighting with me, Ice; you're making a fool of yourself in front of all these people."
"Look who's talking, Mr. Let's-Yell-And-Threaten-Random-People-Man," Iceland snickered as he pushed the Dane's hands away. "Why do you have to cause all these problems?"
"I don't cause problems! I don't do anything wrong!"
"You're drunk and you're about to drive you friend's/lover's younger brother up large and rugged mountains, how does that make you feel?" Mr. Puffin asked the blonde.
"Umm…nothing really, since there's nothing wrong with that," Denmark replied as he started the engine to the car. "Alright, off to Norge's we go!" He cheered with excitement.
"Your friend really is a moron," the bird chuckled. Iceland sighed before leaning his head against the car window. Nor was right, I'm going to die. Not only that, but I'm going to die with a drunken Dane; I'm so lucky to have a family like this, he thought to himself before a loud beep sounded.
"All passengers in their motorized vehicles may depart the ship at this time; thank you for traveling with us today and we hope to see you in the future," a woman's voice echoed throughout the ship. Car engines started and bright red taillights lit up around them while Denmark shoved his own key into the ignition. Iceland reached behind his seat and grabbed the stack of MapQuest directions and the GPS, just in case there was a quicker route. It only takes 4 hours and 25 minutes to get to Aurland from Oslo? We'll surely make it in time…as long as Denmark can keep a steady speed of 64kph the whole time. The thing was Iceland didn't even trust the Dane going over 16kph on a straight road. The teen checked his watch; 4:26 showed up in black against the green screen. If everything worked out as planned, all three of them would be at Norway's by 8:51 exactly. However, there was probably going to be another 15 minutes added to that because of Denmark's poor driving, but that still wasn't that bad; they would only miss the opening.
"Ya ready, Icey?" Denmark chimed as he followed the other drivers off of the ferry. Surprisingly, he hadn't rear ended anyone yet.
"Yeah, I'm ready; let's get this over with," he mumbled as he looked at the directions. "First off, it says something about heading north on Lybekkergata…wherever that is…"
For once, Iceland actually felt confident of Denmark's driving abilities even though he was still somewhat drunk. They had managed to make it out of Oslo with running off the side of the road or killing any animals so that was a plus. There were only a few times when Denmark would start to swerve on two lane highways, but Iceland would always call it to attention and the Dane would quickly correct himself. The alcohol didn't really affect anything except his speech.
"How many beers did you actually have, Denmark?" Iceland questioned. He was drunk out of his mind when Iceland found him in the bathroom and he still had the scent of alcohol on his breathe as they drove down the road.
"I had maybe two or three…or ten."
"You better not have spent all of our money on beer," he frowned.
"Naw, it's in all in my back pocket, you want it back now?" The Dane left his right hand on the wheel and used his left to push his rear off the seat. "You're going to have to grab it-."
"I'm not pulling my money out of your ass."
"There's a piece of cloth between your money and my nice ass, so if you want it, take it out now or you're going to have to wait until we need more gas." The man raised an eyebrow as he waited for Iceland's decision. In the end, Iceland sat in the passenger seat with his arms crossed with a scold on his face; he regretted ever giving his money to this idiot.
"I still don't understand how that much alcohol doesn't affect your driving; you drive a whole lot better than you did when you were sober."
"I, my friend," Denmark laughed, "have a high alcohol tolerance. For some strange reason, it does not affect my driving abilities with bikes and, supposedly, cars, but does…affect my…learning abilities?" The last bit came out as a slur as he shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the road. Iceland shook his head and stared out the window as they merged onto E16. Mountains started to grow taller and snow stared to appear on their tops. Otherwise, thick forests surrounded them and the only thing guiding them to their destination was the asphalt in front of them. For the most part, Iceland thought that Norway (the place) was pretty beautiful. Denmark, letting out a few "ohs" and "ahs", shifted his eyes to the sides as he watched their surrounding pass them by. "There's so many trees and elevation!"
"Yeah, it is pretty nice, but the elevation is kind of average compared to some places," the teen smiled. He had only been to Norway's house a few times since they lived so far apart; it didn't even seem possible that they were brothers until he had the DNA test done. "I can't believe I haven't been this way before. Usually I just fly to Bergen then go to Aurland."
"Oh, so you've never seen Oslo before?"
"Nope, that was the first time in my whole life. I guess you've been there tons of times since you see Norway a lot?"
"Oh yes, I've seen Oslo many times in my life," the Dane smirked.
"Is that so?" Iceland glanced over in Denmark's direction.
"Yeah and the weather there is nice as well."
"Isn't it cold?"
"Naw, sometimes, if you're lucky, it's warm and wet. It can get a little hot in Oslo, well, at least for me. Oslo's a pretty big place, too." A shit-eating smile stretched across his face as he went into a turn. Iceland stared at the man for several seconds.
"You know there's a child in the car?"
"You going to have to learn one day, Icey," Denmark laughed as he ruffled Iceland's white hair. Suddenly, the car drove into a pot hole and caused everyone to jump out of their seats.
"Denmark, you could have driven around that pot hole, you moron!" Mr. Puffin shrieked from the back as he flew back into his seat.
"Whoops, I think the drunkenness is wearing off."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Now Iceland could hear the sound of gravel flying from underneath the tires; they were going off the road. "Denmark, get back on the freaking road, now!" He shouted as he tried to grab the wheel from Denmark.
"I can do this!" The blonde exclaimed as he pushed Iceland's hands away and went into a sharp turn.
They were now, officially, on the side of a mountain. They could risk swerving anymore than they were or else, bye bye! All that was underneath them were trees, trees, trees, and jagged rocks.
"Holy shit, Ice, holy shit!" He screamed. "We on a fucking mountain, Ice, a really tall fucking mountain!"
"Den, I know, now stop swerving," Iceland commanded before noticing a large object in the middle of the road. "Denmark, merge into the left lane; there's something in the middle of the road!" The Dane hands shook violently, causing the BMW to shift left and right, but he paid no attention to what Iceland was warning about. "DENMARK, MERGE!" He cried once more. "DENMARK!" The large figure got closer and closer and everyone in the car was screaming. Suddenly, Denmark swiftly turned the wheel to the left.
The sound of crushing metal and a large thud followed.
D.S.W.N.F.O.S::. Cliffhanger, not really, I guess. Hopefully I will update in at least two weeks (my friends will kill me otherwise for not keeping my promise, again). I hope you enjoyed part two and please review on your way out!
With Happiness and Danish Wedding Cookies,
D.S.W.N.F.O.S
