That was a pain to write. I don't know why, but I really struggled with Caroline. I absolutely love her character, but sometimes she is hard for me to understand. If she seems OOC to you and if there are some plot-holes from her storyline, please forgive me.

Also, it turned out to be a bit Klaroline.

Reviews are love, so show me how much you love (hate) me in them :)


You don't understand what's wrong with the world.

You are supposed to be the girl of Mystic Falls. It's your hair that bounces the sunshine off of perfect blonde curls, it's your eyes that twinkle with green speckles and laughter, and it's your pearly white smile that lights up the room with a practiced ease.

And yet, it's Elena Gilbert, the quiet one with her dull dark eyes and dark hair and dark tan that has the boys fall to her feet. You fume in the Grill quietly, not showing the outside world just what exactly is going on inside your head, because God forbid people think you are anything but perfect. Except you clearly aren't, and maybe the ultimate 'Californian girl' look and attitude isn't enough.

Just as you are about to question for the millionth time that maybe it's not the world but you, he glances up at you, paralyzing you with his icy gaze, and you're frozen for a second because is it really possible for a man to look so sinfully beautiful?

But you're Caroline Forbes, and you don't back down, returning his flirty smirks with many of your own.

As he takes you home and drops you off at a cheerleading practice, you can't help but feel smug. Elena can have the Salvatore boy all she wants, because you are getting the real man.

Except the real man uses and abuses you, leaving you in pieces and pointing out the one thing everyone already knew. You're shallow. You're worthless. You're good for nothing, and you know it, of course you know it.

You forget all about his narcissist ass when Matt chooses you, and you're so happy that the pair of penetrating blue eyes is the furthest thing in your mind.

But as you are killed – oh God, you're actually dead now, and you have to kill other people to survive – you are hit with all the memories, and you've never felt so much hate toward a person.

And if you're honest with yourself, you feel so hurt, because the only thing he wanted all along was fucking Elena Gilbert, and you're back to the square one. When he hugs you, tender as never before, a corpse of someone you just killed lying next to you, you realize that he's about to kill you, and somewhere deep in your soul you want him to do it, because he'll stop the pain and guilt. And while he wouldn't have been the one you'd choose to do the job, you can't help but think how good he fits. After all, he was the one to start the changing process of Caroline Forbes, and in a way, you were glad you met him, because it lead you to question yourself.

But you're saved, by none other than Elena herself, and you're hit with guilt yet again at being such a terrible friend to her. She willingly stood between you and a stake, not knowing for sure if Damon wouldn't kill her, too. And when he doesn't, you are in disbelief, because you thought of him as nothing more than a ruthless monster.

Later, he allows your mother to live, and as she states that you are dead to her, you are taken aback by the strong emotion in his voice as he defends you, his gaze meeting yours, and then, as you look in his surprisingly soft eyes, you understand that he actually gets it.

You have Elena and he has Stefan, and they are both here to remind you that you will always be second best. And you never would have thought in a million years that you will ever think of Damon Salvatore as insecure, but that's what he is. Insecure. Vulnerable. Hurt by the ones he loves the most, and you have a startling thought that maybe you two have more in common that you originally thought.

He never fails to save Elena's life, and he never fails to always choose her. And as you let your tears fall late at night, thinking back to how Matt rejected you because of what you are, you can't help but think bitterly that one certain blue-eyed Salvatore never turned his back on Katherine, ultimately choosing her. And now, he will never turn his back on Elena, even if she cuts him open and bleeds him dry every time she goes back to his brother.

Maybe, just maybe, you feel just a hint sorry for him as you watch him shatter, and there is the slightest possibility that you drove Elena to admit having feelings for him so he would stand at least a small chance. And, well, he did kinda save you from being sacrificed, so you owe him just a bit.

And then, Klaus bursts in your life, ripping apart everything you knew and tearing you to pieces, rebuilding you again, and you cringe as you realize that Elena's not the only one having naughty thoughts about bad brothers. As Klaus gazes at you, openly, actually allowing you to see the hint of real him, you stare in his blue eyes, and you allow yourself a moment of weakness as you get lost in them for just a second.

You are closer to Elena than ever because now you finally get it. The alluring bad boy charisma and the surprising vulnerability underneath the cold façade, and every time he opens up, you can't help but feel like you're the most special person in the world because he's allowed you inside. Both of them the farthest from being a safe choice, men, not boys, strong and ruthless and so alone.

He tried to kill Bonnie. Damon tried to kill Bonnie. He killed Jenna. Damon killed Grams. He never once stopped to get what he wanted. Damon never did, too. And while you realize how silly it is to compare them, it's still uncanny how their life stories are similar. And, well, you are just a teenage girl who loves a bit of drama in her life.

But you shut down and make yourself hate him, and every time you see a flicker of hurt in the baby blue eyes as you use him over and over, you tell yourself you don't care.

You stick with the safe choice. With the right one. You pick Tyler over and over again, telling yourself that he's the one you need and want, and while it's not an epic love story of Stefan and Elena, you can settle for that. And as you root for Team Stefan, urging Elena to never give up on her 'epic' love, you fully realize that you are projecting your feelings and fear on your best friend.

Damon is bad for Elena, and she can't choose him, because if Elena can allow herself to forgive him and be with him, you will be forced to finally acknowledge the whole Klaus situation, and you are simply not ready for that. So you sit, and you talk, and you trash Damon for how much of a horrible person he is, completely aware that in reality, you are listing off the reasons of why Klaus is bad for you.

And then Elena goes and falls in love with him, and your whole carefully constructed house of lies crumbles around you. You are furious about it, because that's just wrong! Damon and Elena together are tragedy, heartbreak, longing, all-consuming passion and danger, and you sigh to herself as the list you started doesn't exactly appear horrible. In reality, it's kinda everything you ever wanted for yourself.

You can see Elena being surprised at the level of disdain you start demonstrating toward the older Salvatore, and you tell yourself it's always been that way, you just show it more nowadays. But you know the real reason deep down, and if Elena bothered enough to keep her hands off of Damon's sculpted body and think, she'd see it too.

You are resentful toward both of them because Elena was brave enough to make the dangerous choice, and you weren't.

The college starts, and you're excited to finally start the new life free of all the supernatural drama, but of course, it wouldn't be your life if there wasn't some mysterious shit going on. And, to top all of that, you are no longer 'Tyler and Caroline' anymore. You are Caroline, and tears slide down your cheeks as you watch yet another man turn away from you to pursue his own goals.

As you go through the motions, teaming up with Katherine of all people, you fall into the now familiar line of thoughts which inevitably takes you to the older Salvatore. Well, apparently, he and Klaus are not so alike, because despite the sweet messages on the voicemail and generous gestures, Klaus still left you, and now Tyler has done the same, but Damon never once abandoned Elena. And you are one hundred percent sure that he would stick around even if she chose Stefan. He did stick around, actually, forgetting all about his selfish needs and wants and simply being there, because the girl he loved needed him.

You wonder what it feels like to be always put first, because in the last few years of your life, you always came up second in line. As you watch Damon never leave Elena's side, protecting her with everything he is, you can't help but wonder what it would be like to have his crystal clear eyes gaze at you like that.

The news about the doppelgangers being cursed to always end up with each other don't leave you as happy as you'd think. You watch Damon gaze at Elena with so much pain, and you think that it's just unfair. It's unfair that after everything he's done, Damon's still not going to end up with his true love, because the fate decided to be a complete bitch.

For the first time in your life, you decide that you don't believe in destiny anymore, because the unfairness of it all makes you sick.

But as Amara, the original doppelganger, the one who was 'fated' to be the one for Silas, denies him and runs away, joining the dysfunctional Mystic Falls' family, you breathe with relief, and as you catch the curious-turned-longing looks she throws Damon's way, you can't help but smirk as you flip off the ceiling.

The fate is not all it's cracked up to be, after all.