Running Rampant

Chapter 2

"You know, we need to find a new name for the newcomers," said Spyro. "Saying 'newcomer' every time that we reference them is annoying."

After the meeting with the Guardians, the four young dragons reconvened in Spyro's room; it was one of the few places that had been fortified against the newcomers. Spyro lay on his side on his bed with Cynder sitting behind him, idly stroking his wing joints. Flame and Ember lay in a similar fashion on the colorful plush rug that adorned Spyro's otherwise empty room.

"How about Sues?" Suggested Cynder. "That's what they are, after all."

"Or SIBs, for self-inserting bastards!" Laughed Flame.

Ember sighed. "I don't see why you all don't like the newcomers. I think they're quite nice," she said.

"Yeah, because you're sleeping with most of the male newcomers," muttered Flame, causing Spyro and Cynder to stiffen. They had encouraged him to confront Ember about sleeping with the male newcomers, but they didn't want him to start the ensuing fight in front of them.

"How dare you!" Shrieked Ember, pushing him away. "How… How dare you!" She said again, obviously too angry to find anything else to say. "I mean… How—"

"Yeah, yeah, how dare I." Flame rolled his eyes. "If you wanted to just sleep around with everyone including me, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Our relationship was dwindling since before the newcomers even arrived, so I wouldn't really mind if we were just friends with benefits. But, since you insist on having a romantic relationship with me while whoring around with the newcomers—wait, my bad; sues, —I don't want a damn thing to do with you anymore. It doesn't help your case that a few of the newcomers have come up to me to tell me what a good fuck you are. One or two of them started giving me advice."

Ember was completely flabbergasted. Unsure of what else to do, she flung the door open and walked out.

Spyro blinked. "That was unexpectedly calm," he noted.

Flame sighed. "Hopefully, she'll feel bad about leaving me and come to my room to have sex with me tonight." He paused for a moment. "Probably not."

"We could have a threesome," suggested Spyro, earning a slap from Cynder.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Spyro rolled his eyes, stifling a groan; just from the way that the dragon knocked, he knew who it was. "It's your turn to fend off one of the sues, Cynder," he said, motioning to the door. "And, try not to mortally wound this one," he added as an afterthought.

Cynder shrugged. "No promises," she said as she walked to the door.

"Go away," she called through the door.

"May I talk to Spyro, please?" The sickeningly sweet voice on the other side called back.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he's dead."

"What? What happened?"

"He… uh…" Cynder thought for a moment. "Autoerotic asphyxiation."

Flame roared with laughter.

"… What?"

Cynder slapped a paw against her forehead. Opening the door, she roared, "Go away!" into the Sue's face.

The Sue looked terrified for a second, but then caught sight of Spyro, looking very amused at the entire situation.

"Cynder!" Spyro grunted, kicking the dragoness off of him. "Get her out of here!"

"She's touched you," Cynder pointed out. "Once they touch you, it's out of my domain. That's what we agreed, was it not?"

Spyro rolled his eyes. Turning back to the Sue, he pointed at the still-open door and said, "Get out."

"B-but… don't you love me?" Pouted the pink dragoness.

Spyro rolled his eyes. "I don't love you. Now, get out of my room."

The pink dragoness began to wail pitifully, walking as slow as possible out of the room. Flame eyed the pink dragoness' curves, and then motioned at the dragoness with his wing to Spyro. Spyro looked confused, so Flame motioned again and winked.

Catching his drift, Spyro said, "Hey, did you want to spend the night with Spyro?"

The pink dragoness abruptly stopped crying. "Y-yes…"

"Oh!" Exclaimed Spyro. "I'm sorry—Spyro and I switched bodies for a few days, just to see what it was like. I'm Flame, and that's Spyro."

The pink dragoness looked from Spyro to Flame, and then back again. "Really?"

"Really," assured Flame, who draped a wing over her back and led her out of the room.

Once they were out of earshot, Cynder hissed, "You and Flame switched bodies! You've got to be shitting me. I can't believe she bought that."

"Well, the sues aren't known for their intelligence," laughed Spyro. "Rather, the lack thereof."

"True," agreed Cynder. They were both silent for a moment. Then, Spyro looked pleadingly at Cynder. "What?" She asked.

Spyro simply kept looking at her.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

…...

"So, what's your name?" Asked Flame, entwining his tail around the pink dragoness'. They were making their way through the seemingly endless hallways of the temple. Flame had surreptitiously taken the long way so he could get to know the Sue a little better before he slept with her.

"Bella," she said sweetly, pressing her side against Flame's.

"Son of a bitch," Flame whispered under his breath.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Nothing," he smiled. "C'mon, here's my—uh, Flame's room." He pushed the door open with his hip, grinning as she squealed with delight when she saw the inside of his room.

"I love it!" She shrieked happily, running into the room and flopping down on the plush red cushion that often served as Flame's bed. Unlike Spyro's room, Flame's room was lavishly decorated with paintings and pieces of metal shaped into tongues of flame.

Bella started ogling at the different trinkets that adorned Flame's shelves and walls, seeming to only be a blur as she moved from trinket to trinket. Flame sighed. "I thought you guys typically went to bed sort of early," he said, trying to strike up conversation.

At the mention of being tired, the Sue seemed to deflate. She trudged back over to the plush red cushion and flopped down on it, snoring innocently.

Flame simply stared at her. "That would be impressive if it weren't so annoying." He sighed again. "I wish I could fall asleep in ten seconds flat."

…...

"So, how was your night?" Asked Spyro, punching Flame lightly on the shoulder.

"Awful," Flame grunted. "And lonely."

"What?" Spyro asked, taken aback. "You had the pink sue, and possibly Ember. How the hell were you lonely?"

"Bella, that pink sue, was just too damn cute!" Growled Flame. "I just couldn't do it with a clear conscience. It'd be like sleeping with a child. I ended up sleeping on the floor all night." He stretched his wings and rolled his shoulders for emphasis.

"Well, what about Ember?" Cynder asked. "Surely she felt bad enough about sleeping around with the male sues to have sex with you to make up for it?"

"Yeah, and the fact that she lied to your face about it, too," added Spyro.

"And that she's probably in one of their beds right now," nodded Cynder.

"I'm so glad that I can count on you two to make me feel better," growled Flame, raising an annoyed eyebrow at his two friends.

"Hey, you owe me," grinned Spyro cockily. "If it wasn't for that awesome cover story that I pulled out of thin air, you wouldn't have even had the chance to sleep with the sue."

"Like hell I do," retorted Flame. "First of all, you could have said just about anything, and the sue would've believed it. Second, that was one of the worst cover stories that I've ever heard. I was amazed that even the sue bought it."

Cynder tried to hold back a giggle, but only succeeded in snorting loudly.

"It was a good story," muttered Spyro stubbornly.

Flame snorted. "You can ask anyone; that story sucked." They stopped; they had arrived at Ember's room, which was locked.

"Hey, Cynder—" started Flame.

"Sure thing," smiled I, disappearing into her own shadow.

Mere seconds later, a slightly muffled shriek was heard from the room. The door flung open and a black blur sped out of the room and into the hall, a ball of Shadowfire billowing right behind him.

"Get out of here, I!" Screamed Ember. "What the hell do you think you're doing, anyways?"

"The Guardians told us to come get you using any means possible," said I in a matter-of-factly tone. "So, that's what we're doing."

Ember simply glowered at her.

I grinned smugly at her in response, and walked out the door with her tail held high. "You're welcome," she said to Flame as she walked past him.

"Actually," sniggered Flame, "I was just going to ask you to pick the lock with your tail blade. I suppose that works too, though."


SPYRO: OH MAH GAWD GUISE LET'S DO SOME SORT OF SHITTY, UNNECESSARY, SCRIPT-FORMAT DIALOGUE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER! WHY, YOU ASK? HELL IF I KNOW!

CYNDER: *Shits a brick* SPYRO THAT'S SUCH AN AWESOME IDEA YOU'RE A GENIUS COME HERE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WANT YOUR BABIES.

EMBER: BUT I WANT HIS BABIES MOAR!

FLAME: *Forever alone*

EMBER: *Dies for abso-fucking-lutely no reason at all* NOEEEEZ! SPYRO HELP ME!

SPYRO: *Puts on sunglasses* DEAL WITH IT.

CYNDER: *Suddenly has black leather harnesses and bridles and such* NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE, SPYRO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

SPYRO: *Thinks for a moment* I THINK I'D LIKE A SCONE.

Cynder: ... Dafuk?


(A/N): ... What the hell did I just type.