2. perception and concepts
And that's when Penelo starts to avoid him. She had promised herself that she wouldn't allow her emotions get the better of her, but somehow, it was more than just petty emotions, it was loathing, it was irritation, frustration, annoyance all into one package of just plain pure hate, and if she ever lost control, she's not sure what she might do; frankly, she's not sure she cares. So instead, she just keeps her distance, only coming into his room to bring him food or heal him. She says not a word, and he not one to her. The only time he had talked was to ask for paper and pen as to write back to Basch, and other then that, there was nothing.
No, Gabranth would only look at her in silence, and though Penelo would try to avoid his gaze, there were times when she'd look up to for a moment to catch him staring at her, just staring, his mouth set in a frown as if mulling over something very deep. She wasn't sure what had changed, but something had and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what.
—
Not only it is unusual for someone to be knocking on her door this early, or rather, for anyone to be knocking on her door at all (That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Penelo is single! Shout it out to the masses!), but she finds herself rather surprised when she finds out who is at her door.
"Vaan!" Penelo gasps, surprised. "What are you doing here?"
Vaan crosses his arms, eyes suspiciously glancing over Penelo's shoulder, as if Gabranth were to magically appear at any second should Vaan let down his guard for even a second. Then, Vaan looks back to a Penelo, an awkward but still cheerful smile forming on his face. "Well, it's tradition, isn't it?"
For a moment, Penelo is touched by Vaan's gesture, to have actually come over, despite an unfavourable guest, and well—pick her up, as if nothing was different. (Should she have expected any different?)
But before Penelo can go on with her moment of shock, Vaan's voice shakes her out of her thoughts. "You didn't forget, did you?"
Penelo rolls her eyes, while letting a smile stretch her face. "Of course not, silly. Give me a moment, will you?"
And within moments, she has taken some food off the table, picked up a blanket, and has slipped on her shoes. For a moment, Penelo considers going to drop off some meal to Gabranth, but quickly crosses that thought out. His legs had been restored for more than a week now. Though still weak, and unable to bear too much strain, she knew he could still go to the kitchen easily enough, should he be hungry. She quickly jogs back to Vaan, who is still standing by the door, looking slightly uncomfortable as his eyes dart around the place. She wonders if he finds anything different or odd about the place.
"C'mon Vaan, let's go." She says, tugging his arm as she leaves.
Then again, she will realize later, maybe she shouldn't be so surprised. Why wouldn't Vaan have come? Why should anything have changed?
After all, it was the day Reks had died.
—
And it's somewhat of a relief, to find that things are as they always were. Like always, they visit the flower shop to pick up a bouquet of Galbana lilies before going to Reks' grave. Spreading out Penelo's blanket there, they then have their own banquet, with food provided by Vaan (or rather, Vaan after begging and telling Migelo he'd owe him some favours, like always). It's the same as always, and although after each year, it's becomes a little easier to smile, it's still hard all the same. Like always, they tell Reks of the past year, with Vaan usually exaggerating everything while Penelo attempts to interject the truth every once in a while. They play a rather messed up version of Truth or Dare, with the dares being somewhat limited and the truths being somewhat lame since they already know so much about each other (though Penelo did refuse to answer when Vaan asked if she had gotten a crush on anyone while they were out adventuring, making him assume that she had fallen in love with Larsa. She retaliated by asking Vaan if he had a crush on Ashe.)
But then the sun sets, and Penelo stands up, saying she should go home. Vaan just nods. They both know that as soon as they get home, that'll be when they allow themselves to break down, for today is the only day they will allow themselves to. Time may heal wounds, but two years is only so much time, and the scars still seem to hurt.
And when she gets home, she takes out her picture of Reks and sets one Galbana lily on it.
"Hey Reks," She murmurs softly. "Two years already."
She swallows the lump in her throat and takes a deep breath. "Weird how life goes on, huh? To think that Vaan and I would go on such an adventure; meeting sky pirates, dead people, and hey, even met the princess, Ashe—well, she's a queen now. I'm even close friends with Archadia's emperor! We write each other letters often."
Penelo can remember when the picture was taken; it had been Reks 17th birthday. While Penelo had just made a wreath of flowers (which Reks had worn graciously), Vaan on the other hand, had wanted to do something special. Unfortunately, Vaan had also taken Reks seriously when Reks had replied, after hours and hours of constant pestering, that the thing he wanted most for his birthday was a girlfriend (she had been secretly thrilled to fulfill the role).
"And look, here am I now." Taking care of your murderer.
But she doesn't say those words, because it's not fair of her. So instead, she just goes on with, "Sometimes, I wish I could just let you go…"
"Nay, 'tis a foolish notion to think."
Penelo jumps, her heart stopping at the sound of Gabranth's voice. How long had he been there—how much had he heard? But she dare not move, to turn and face him, she dare not look into his eyes, because she is scared of what she might see in his eyes—or what he might see in hers.
She can hear his footsteps approaching her until he is beside her, and she watches carefully from the corner of her eye, cautiously as his gaze lingers on the picture.
"The dead will always stay in your memories," He continues, and his voice is not gentle, but rather harsh like steel; Penelo can only wonder who he must have lost. "Instead, we must hold on as tightly as we can and try to keep going as we must."
She's not sure what made her ask, but her mouth is moving before she can even contemplate her actions and she is letting out a hesitant, "Why?"
"Because then we have reason to live."
And he gets up and goes, gone as quickly as he had come, leaving Penelo to only stare at the empty space he once occupied, the sound of silence ringing in her ears. For although she knows his words were not meant to be comforting—
(She quickly rubs her eyes.)
—somehow, they are.
And then she catches sight of an unopened, forgotten letter.
—
Dear Penelo,
Despite your clear insistence that you receive no payment in return for this treatment, I still nonetheless feel obliged...
—
Thanks for reading.
