Chapter 2
Cuddy blushed furiously, and as she looked up, she realized House, Cameron, Chase, Foreman, and Wilson were gaping at her.
"What?" she asked innocently.
She scratched the white kitten under it's chin. It growled miserably, but it grudgingly tilted it's head towards Cuddy's fingers.
They all just continued to stare at her.
Embarrassed, she huffed. "So I'm a cat-person: so what?"
Chase was cuddling the smallest of the litter; a tiny female calico. It was stretched out across his arm; it's tiny face burrowed into Chase's side. It was clearly sound asleep.
Softly, Chase said, "Well, Doctor Cuddy-"
"Oh, for crap's sake, Chase- it's not a baby! You don't need to use your inside voice!" House bellowed.
The gray tabby in Wilson's lap watched the room alertly as he spoke up. "Oh, come on House, you know you want to cuddle one." he teased.
Offended, House gasped. "Do NOT!" Then his gaze fell on Cameron as she strolled over to the playpen, and scooped up the two remaining balls of fluff.
House tried to fend her off- seriously contemplating fleeing for the hills- but she managed to get what seemed like a wad of black fur into his arms. The creature had curled into a ball like an armadillo.
Apparently realizing that it had been moved, it unfurled itself. It was all black- except for it's right ear- which was just as white as it's surly litter mate's. It was female too, and it looked up at House with it's yellow eyes. It seemed to be surveying him.
"Meow." It declared.
House glared down at it.
Unimpressed, the kitten coughed up a hairball onto his smart-ass t-shirt.
"Oh, for the love of-!"
"Come on, House." Cameron interrupted him before he could turn his fuzzy charge into a mitten. "These kittens can't be more than two months old. They're babies, and babies spit up!" To House's unending horror, he saw that Cameron had scooped up the final kitten from the playpen. Her orange tabby began to purr thunderously; cuddling into her neck. She smiled at it as it began to rub it's head against her cheek.
He suddenly realized that while this exchange had been going on, he had been sitting at his desk, the kitten bouncing back and forth on his legs. He had unknowingly been scratching it along it's spine.
Jerking his hand away, he glowered at the adorable- mangy, he meant mangy!- hairball once more.
She flicked her tiny tail at him dismissively, and looked up at him. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with a mixture of triumph and mischief.
Suddenly, House had a minor epiphany. Looking past Cameron to the other female doctor in the room, he gave a grin of pure, evil rapture.
Her eyes widened, and she hoped he wasn't going to do what she thought he was going to do.
"Don't you dare!" she warned. She employed the tone that usually instilled fear into the hearts of mortal men.
House couldn't give less of a shit.
He held up the black kitten, and declared. "Say hello to 'Cuddy'."
Wilson, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman looked at Doctor Cuddy, who was positively glaring daggers at House. House grinned sunnily in return.
The kitten squirmed in House's hands, as though saying, Uh, dude- you gonna put me down?
He settled it back onto his lap; a look of smug satisfaction on his face.
Cuddy's kitten continued to make snippy, pissy noises from her lap.
"Hmmmm." she murmured thoughtfully. "I just thought of what to call you." she said to the white kitten. She smirked.
"House Cat."
It gave her another sour look.
Wilson and the others chuckled.
"Suits the surly little bugger perfectly." Chase commented.
"You can't do that!" House protested.
With a light giggle, Cameron teased. "Yeah, copy-cat!"
House chose to ignore Cameron. "You can't name them. They were given to me!"
"Does that mean you're keeping them?" asked Wilson.
"Hell. No."
Cameron and Foreman's beepers went off. With wistful sighs, they each stood up, and put their kittens back in the playpen. The brown brindle that Foreman was holding had settled back in quietly, but the little orange tabby that Cameron had seemed disturbed by this occurrence. He stood up on his hind legs and mewled pitifully after Cameron.
On his way out the door, Foreman commented, "You should call that one 'Chase'."
"Hey!" protested the young doctor.
"'Chase' it is!" proclaimed House.
"Hey!" Chase repeated.
"Oh, deal with it." House said, rolling his eyes.
Wilson piped up. "Hey, let's put the rest of them in there- see what happens."
Intrigued, but refusing to admit it, House started to put Cuddy Cat back in. She screeched, and nipped his fingers.
"Ow!"
"Don't you dare smack that kitten!" Cuddy warned.
House gave her a look. "I wasn't aware that was an option, but thanks anyway."
Cuddy cat settled back into House's lap; purring smugly.
Doctor Cuddy smirked at Doctor House.
"Oh, be quiet." he bitched.
She just smiled at him as she deposited House cat back into the playpen. Chase and Wilson quickly followed suit.
With morbid curiosity, the quartet observed the kittens, (Except Cuddy cat... Dammit! Now they've got me doing it!) As they interacted with each other.
House cat seemed to take a special interest in the brown brindle. He would repeatedly charge into it, causing the brindle to grunt in irritation. After about five rounds of this, the brindle seemed to have enough. As House cat charged at full, ramming speed, the brindle nimbly rolled away; causing House cat to bang his head on the side of the playpen.
"Okay, in going with the theme... I say we call that one 'Wilson'." said Doctor Wilson.
"'We'. Are. Not." he winced as Cuddy cat's claws sank into his thigh. "Keeping. Them." House finished. He began to wonder how the nursing staff would react if a certain black kitten went flying through the window at them.
"That works." noted Cuddy.
Chase simply nodded in agreement.
House glanced heavenward. He slowly counted to ten. Then, "What, am I invisible?"
Wilson grinned at Cuddy and Chase. "Did you guys hear something?"
The smiles on their faces turned House's stomach.
"Nope." Chirped Chase and Cuddy.
As the conversation had gone on, House had been dimly aware of the fact that House cat had been yowling like a kitten possessed. He also realized that House cat had stopped suddenly.
(What the hell?) He glanced into the playpen.
The runty, female calico had toddled over to House cat, and had wrapped a tiny foreleg around him. She was quietly licking him on the head.
And the evil little monster was purring!
"There's 'Cameron'." stated Chase.
There was a long pause, the only sound being House cat's rumbling purr, and the faint rasp of Cameron cat's (Dammit!) tongue.
House's gaze focused on his feline counterpart. House cat was grinning a kitty-cat grin; Cameron cat wrapped snugly against him.
"Traitor." he said accusingly.
"You know, you could almost see something Freudian in that." commented Wilson nonchalantly.
"You're fired."
Wilson grinned innocently. "You can't fire me. I don't work for you."
"So, by default, I suppose that makes you 'Foreman'." Cuddy said to the gray tabby.
It just watched her, eyes wide.
Suddenly, House cried. "A-HA!"
The others jumped in surprise.
"What?" asked Chase.
"I can't keep them!" he cried happily.
"Why not?"
"Two words. Steve. McQueen."
"What does some old, dead guy have to do with six kittens?" asked Wilson.
"Not that Steve McQueen!"
"Who's Steve McQueen?" asked Chase.
House glared at Chase. "Only the coolest guy ever, you fetus. But I wasn't talking about him. I meant my rat."
Cuddy: "What rat?"
"House keeps a pet rat. He was gonna kill it, but he flashed his PETA card, and nursed him back to health instead." Wilson explained.
"Awww; that's so-"
"Shut up, Cuddy."
"Sweet. You're just a big, fluffy, teddy bear: aren't you?" Cuddy finished teasing. Her eyes gleamed devilishly. That glint alone told House he was never going to live this one down.
"Oh, come on!" Argued Chase. "You can still keep them. People have multiple species of pets all the time."
"This is true, but can you imagine being a rat in this situation? You're minding your own business, sound asleep in your little, plastic igloo. Then, you come out to see half a dozen cats staring at you like you have 'Oscar Mayer' tattooed on your ass. Steve McQueen- brave soldier that he is- would shit himself and vomit while fainting." he finished. He knew he sounded churlish. He could care less.
Seemingly on cue, Cameron and Foreman returned. With a cat carrier. And bags.
That read Pet Smart.
Cameron developed deja vu when suddenly:
"CAMERON, DAMMIT!"
: AUTHOR'S NOTES : I was bound and determined to make this chapter longer, and make it okay: here's hoping I achieved my goal.
Let me know if any of you have any ideas, suggestions, or requests. I'm having a little drama in trying to figure out what to do next.
Read and Review... please please: oh, pretty please?
A QUICK KEY TO THE HOUSE CATS:
All white, green eyes: House Cat
All black, except right ear (White): Cuddy cat
Orange Tabby: Chase cat
Gray Tabby: Foreman cat
Calico: Cameron Cat
Brown Brindle: Wilson cat.
