Alec frowned deeply as he glanced around the apartment, a look of shocked confusion marring his features as he took in the mismatched furniture and the overall inelegance of the sitting room—all carrying the air of Magnus' apathy. It was so unlike Magnus; who had always taken pride in his apartment and in decorating it, even though it was, more often than not, messy and unorganized. In looks, the apartment was actually homier than it had ever looked before, but it lacked a certain warmth that Alec had grown accustomed to. It was so bad that the shadowhunter found himself wrapping his arms around him, shivering at the phantom cold that touched him as Magnus closed the door behind them.
"Magnus," Alec started with a conviction in his voice as he turned to face the warlock. After having had the time to rethink his decision in coming to Magnus' apartment, Alec had realized that, perhaps, this was a mistake in the making—one they couldn't afford to make because they had things to work through, things to talk about and even more things to figure out in their relationship. "Maybe we should—"
Alec never had the chance to voice his opinion, not with Magnus' lips closing over his—kissing him, pushing all rational thought from his mind as Alec clung to the warlock and the memory of the relationship they had once shared, and the hope that it would be, one day, back to normal.
It wouldn't, though.
Not if Alec couldn't keep his wits about him, and that was next to impossible with Magnus' kisses growing more and more urgent. The warlock's hands already slipping beneath Alec's clothes in search of bare skin, and Alec knew he should stop Magnus before things got out of hand. It was easy to ignore the urge, however, with his lover's—ex-lover's—hands on his body once more, igniting a fire within him.
It burned, seared through Alec's doubts and reservations until there was nothing but desire left—desire and shaky knees as Alec broke the kiss with a gasp, arching his chest into Magnus' talented hands as he thumbed Alec's nipples into hard peaks.
He was falling again, with no end in sight as he spiraled out of control and right back into his habit—his bad, bad habit. "Magnus…" Alec said breathlessly, though he wasn't sure if he meant to stop the warlock or urge him on. He wasn't even sure if it mattered anymore as Magnus' lips burnt a trail down the side of his throat, pausing to suck on his collarbone, surely leaving behind a mark that would draw questions come morning.
It felt so good, so familiar and comforting. It didn't feel like the end of their relationship, even though that was the only outcome—even now—that Alec could see.
Magnus' hands left his skin, leaving Alec's shirt to come and rest on his clothed hips, but he could ifeel/i Magnus' energy, his vitality burning through the material as his fingers dug into Alec's sides and the shadowhunter could see the unspoken question in Magnus' eyes. Alec knew, at that moment, he could refuse and walk away—perhaps forever—but he also knew that he didn't have the strength to do so.
So, Alec nodded and glanced towards the hall that led to Magnus' bedroom. There was no turning away now. No walking away. But, Alec found that he didn't want to walk away. Even though he knew he was on the threshold of making a huge mistake—it was a mistake he was suddenly willing to make if only he could have Magnus one last time.
