Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/Rachel
Rating: NC-17/M
Story Warnings/Kinks/Tropes: Closeted!Kurt, inexperience, infidelity, angst
A/N: Title taken from Just Can't Get Enough - Glee Cast
Though Kurt tries to pretend nothing happened, that he's still the same person he was when he went to spy on Dalton, he knows inside that he's different now. Meeting Blaine opened up a part of himself he wasn't aware of - the part that wants sex, craves the idea of Blaine above or below him, thinks constantly of how Blaine might look beneath his put-together uniform, if Kurt can only get his hands under that shirt and feel his skin. Rachel is thrilled with how much more demonstrative he is towards her, out of his guilt at making out with Blaine, kissing her when he meets her in the morning and staying on the phone long into the night, letting her talk more about the possibility of sex while he thinks of Blaine.
Blaine texts him almost constantly, as much as possible, their conversation dipping into every topic, including the possibility of them meeting up again to become more closely acquainted with each other's bodies. Sometimes Kurt is woken in the dead of night by his phone trilling out an alert, scrabbling groggily through the murky darkness to switch his screen on and find a new picture of Blaine in his inbox, half-naked and half-hard, a lazy, sexy smile on his lips, and Kurt rolls over and groans into his pillow, feeling ashamed of himself when he saves the pictures and sometimes sends his own. It's crazy, but he thinks he might be falling for Blaine, not just for his body, but for his laugh and his voice and his jokes and the way he talks, his eloquence when he compliments Kurt and the way his eyes glitter.
It's definitely out of guilt that Kurt finally agrees to meet Rachel's family one Friday night after school, and she's so thrilled it's worth the risk of her thinking it's more serious that it is, of him having to break her overly-attached heart when he inevitably tells her the truth. One day, he will tell her about what happened with Blaine, but right now the thought of losing his best friend and having to watch her heart break and her eyes fill with tears makes him sick, so he puts it aside and promises himself he will. Instead of being truthful with his girlfriend, he puts on his best shirt and a bright red tie to match the dress swirling prettily around Rachel's legs when she welcomes him in, her shiny lips a matching scarlet as she stands on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, leaving a distinct red smear, vivid against his pale skin.
"Now, one brother couldn't make it tonight because he's filming," she says as Kurt hangs up his coat and hovers nervously in the hallway, hearing the sound of chatter. "Well, he's my half-brother, we have different moms, but my twin brother is here. And before you ask, we have different last names because he picked the one my dad, Leroy, had before he married my other dad, so there was some way to keep the line going. Cooper is Cooper Berry, after all, the Anderson name needs to carry on somehow."
To his credit, Blaine Anderson doesn't bat an eyelash when Kurt, drink in hand, walks into the dining room and nearly spits lemonade all over himself when he sees the Blaine he so recently made out with, the same boy he's been exchanging half-naked pictures and nearly-sexts with for several weeks, the boy he had no idea was his girlfriend's twin brother, sitting at the table with one of Rachel's dads, who immediately stands to shake Kurt's hand enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear and talking very fast while Rachel blushes and squeals, "Dad, don't!" on the sidelines.
"And this is my twin brother, Blaine, who goes to Dalton and is the lead soloist for the glee club there," Rachel says proudly, ruffling Blaine's hair affectionately. Kurt stares at him, the way his curls fall around his face when they're not slicked down with gel, the way he doesn't falter as he stands with a charming smile and extends a hand to Kurt. That same hand has been on Kurt's skin, crawling under his clothes, he's imagined those fingers on him, in him, making him scream, and Kurt tries desperately not to blush as Rachel takes his hand and kisses him. "Thank you for coming tonight," she says softly. "I asked my other dad to go get some pizza, you wanted margherita, right?"
Nodding vaguely, Kurt watches as Blaine stands and leaves with a soft, "I have to go to the bathroom." A few minutes later, when Rachel is engrossed in telling her dad every second of the last year of their relationship, Kurt's phone beeps with a text from Blaine: I'm in my room, second door on the right when you come up the stairs. Can we talk?
"Excuse me for a second, babe," Kurt says, and Rachel smiles and nods, and he kisses her temple before he pushes his chair back and runs up the stairs, opening Blaine's door to find him already perched cross-legged on the bed, looking down at his hands clasped in his lap and chewing on his lip.
"What the hell were you thinking?" he asks softly, looking up at Kurt. "Didn't you know I'm Rachel's brother?" Kurt shakes his head, and Blaine looks down at his knees again. "She never really mentioned you by name. Not to me, at least. I knew she had a boyfriend she was head over heels for, and last week she tried to ask me how to persuade a guy to have sex with you, at least until I put my fingers in my ears and sang Last Friday Night until she left me alone." His eyes are blazing with anger when he looks up again, voice cold as he asks, "Was I just your gay experiment? God, I'm so stupid, going after a straight guy who just wants to use me to get his rocks off and then humiliate me when I find out he's my sister's boyfriend and he doesn't care about me."
"No, Blaine, please don't angry, I wasn't experimenting," Kurt assures him, reaching for Blaine's hands, squeezing tighter when he tries to pull away. "I know who I am. I'm gay, but when I went to high school I decided I was sick of the bullying and pretended to be straight. Then Rachel asked me out and I thought people were starting to suspect so I agreed and we ended up this power couple and she's my best friend and I don't want to hurt her but I never expected what happened between us to happen and I had no idea you were her brother, I avoid this house like the plague because Rachel keeps pushing for sex and if she tries that she'll know I'm gay and her body doesn't turn me on at all."
"So you've been stringing my twin sister along for a year?" Blaine asks, quite suddenly the protective brother in every way. "Do you know what it would do to her if she found out I kissed you like that? She'd be so humiliated, why didn't you turn her down at the start instead of letting her fall in love with you?"
"I love her, I really do," Kurt says, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I love her in a way halfway between friendship and relationship, and I can't really explain it. I like how soft and small she is and the way she fits in my arms, and I like that I can make her smile, and I like having someone care about me that much. But, at the end of the day, she's a girl and I'm gay, and I'm not sexually attracted to her, though she is beautiful." He kneels at Blaine's feet, massaging his thighs gently. "Blaine, if I'd had the slightest idea that you were siblings, I would never have flirted with you. But what happened between us wasn't chance. I know I thought you were special and we had a connection. Can we keep that?"
"Things like that...they don't just happen, Kurt," Blaine says quietly, looking up at Kurt with sad eyes. "Not to me. And I thought you were safe, that I could send you those pictures and those texts and relive our kisses every minute and fall for you, but it turns out you're faking straight and dating my sister and anything that happens between us would break her heart, and I already feel like I'm drowning in you." He sucks in a breath and says, in a rush, "You were my first kiss, Kurt."
"Oh my God." Kurt sits back on his heels, hands sliding from Blaine's thighs, mind buzzing with white noise. The idea that this boy, that Blaine had never experienced anything like that before, had never had someone else's lips sealed against his, never allowed someone else to map out his mouth with their tongue, never made soft sweet breathy noises into someone else's neck, never grappled with inconvenient autumn layers to get his hands on someone else's skin, made his head spin and a flush of arousal creep into his cheeks. "So I...I was your first?" Blaine nods, looking stubbornly down at his knees, and Kurt tips his chin up to look into his eyes. "Can I be your first everything?"
"You're Rachel's boyfriend," Blaine insists, though Kurt can't help but notice it isn't an outright no. He can see the movement of Blaine's throat as he swallows, his fingers flex against the bedspread. "Kurt, I can't, in good conscience, kiss you or touch you. Not knowing you're hers. She's my twin sister, I love her."
"I love her too," Kurt says, reaching for Blaine's hand and tangling their fingers together, warmth spreading through him as Blaine squeezes his hand gently, not pulling away. "I don't want to hurt her, and I know I should tell her the truth instead of lying to her, but I'm so scared. I'm scared of what might happen to me if I come out." Running his free hand through Blaine's hair, he murmurs, "But I want you. I know something happened between us, and I don't want to lose that. I think I could fall really, really hard for you."
"You make me want to give up," Blaine says, very softly, his eyes bright and a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Kurt leans in and kisses each corner, one hand sliding into Blaine's hair as his lips part and he kisses Kurt back, mouth sweet and inviting and hands pawing uselessly at Kurt's shoulders. As they part, Blaine whispers, "You're so sexy and sweet and confident, and I want you too. But we can't, Kurt. Not while you're still dating Rachel. If she knew about this, it would absolutely crush her."
Right on cue, a knock comes on the door. "Blaine? Dad wants you to come downstairs. And have you seen Kurt?" Smoothing his hair down where Kurt's fingers ran through it, Blaine stands and opens the door for Rachel to step inside, her face lighting up when she sees Kurt there. "Baby, I've been looking for you for ages," she says, leaning over to kiss him softly, the greasy taste of her lipstick replacing that of Blaine's mouth. "I'm so glad you two are getting along, I couldn't face it if the two most important men in my life hated each other."
"We definitely don't hate each other," Blaine says, eyes heavy on Kurt's. "In fact, we've discovered we have a lot in common." There's an obvious meaning to his words that Rachel doesn't get, clapping her hands in delight as Kurt gets to his feet and takes her hand for her to lead him downstairs, sneaking glances back over his shoulder as they walk to find Blaine gazing back.
When dinner is finally over, Kurt can stop wondering whether it's Blaine or Rachel's foot pressed against his ankle when Rachel gets up to take the empty ice-cream bowls into the kitchen and the pressure becomes more insistent, Blaine's face banal even as his socked toes start crawling up Kurt's calf, pushing at the hem of his jeans. Clearing his throat, hoping he isn't blushing, Kurt stands and says, "Thank you for a lovely night, but I need to get home, I have a curfew."
"I should go do some homework anyway," Rachel says, her heels clicking on the tiled floor as she leans on the frame of the kitchen door, stretching up to give Kurt a long kiss goodbye. "Text me when you get home safely. Love you."
Kurt can't help but notice how Rachel's fathers' faces light up when he replies, "I love you too," and is grateful when Blaine stands to see him out. They walk out side-by-side, into the night, and Kurt glances up at the drawn curtains of Rachel's room before he grabs Blaine and tugs him around his car, slamming him against the back and kissing him until he can't remember how to breathe, can't remember where his body ends and Blaine's begins, only knowing the way his lips and his hands and his body feel. In this moment, he wants Blaine more than anything, and that's all that matters.
"Kurt, stop," Blaine insists, quiet and breathless, hands locked on Kurt's shoulders and pushing him away, holding him back. Drawing in a long breath, Kurt feels free to let his eyes roam over Blaine's body, straining towards him, the flush in his cheeks and how dark his lashes are as they flutter and he ducks his head beneath Kurt's scrutiny. "I don't get it. What do you want from me?"
"Everything," Kurt whispers, and leans in for another kiss, wrapping his arms around Blaine and sliding him back until the car quakes with their weight, letting Blaine's lips consume him, his body twine around his until they can't separate, it seems impossible. And he knows how much he wants Blaine, the weight of it leaden in his chest, something dangerous and reeling him in, a fish dangling helplessly on a hook as Blaine's fingers curl tentatively at his hips, one leg wrapped around Kurt's.
When Kurt finally releases Blaine, albeit reluctantly, he can't help but notice that Blaine hovers in the driveway to watch him leave, waving at him until he pulls out into the street. Glancing back, Kurt catches a glimpse of Blaine disappearing back into his house, and licks his lips, tasting Blaine there. For a moment, he wishes Blaine was sitting next to him, his hand resting warm on Kurt's thigh and both of them occasionally smiling into each other's eyes, while Kurt takes him home to meet his family. But he tries not to linger on that daydream for too long, for want of not breaking Rachel's heart.
He walks into the kitchen, where his family are obviously lingering over takeout, to see his father sneak a glance at his feet. Lifting a questioning eyebrow, Kurt blushes when his father says, "You're glowing, kiddo. I was just checking you're not floating. Good night?"
"The best," Kurt says truthfully, and he can see both his parents roll their eyes before they turn away and he can bounce up the stairs, dancing along the landed, joyful and uninhibited. Tugging out his phone, he fires off a Got home safely, night, love you text to Rachel before he turns to pictures of Blaine, smiling and stunning, eyes raking greedily over his naked chest.
To: Blaine
9:26pm
Has anyone ever told you how incredibly gorgeous you are?
To: Blaine
9:27pm
I mean it, Blaine. You're sexy. I want everything with you.
To: Blaine
9:32pm
I want sex. With you.
From: Blaine
9:55pm
I want it too
