Levi lies in bed looking at the seemingly innocuous business card in his hand.
Eren Jaeger. Freelance Writer and Journalist. 314-159-2653.
The whopping thirty seconds that Levi had spent talking to Eren were illuminating to be sure. Levi knows that Erwin had been pursuing the boy tirelessly. He had even broken out Levi's impact play toys that he hadn't used in months, and offered his own hide for Levi to practice on. Levi had declined. He wasn't nearly as optimistic as Erwin was about Eren being a potential submissive and partner for them. They had been searching for years now and once every couple months Erwin would happen upon "the perfect guy." He would rant and rave about some new submissive he met at Ludus or a guy he had found through their extensive network of kinky friends. But it never worked out. There was always something missing from the various boys that Erwin found for Levi to play with. He had tried to explain it about fifty different ways to Erwin, what exactly was missing from all these different submissives—and there had been literally dozens of them—but he was never able to properly express what it was about them that bothered him.
And then there's this kid.
Levi had certainly thought it was odd when Erwin explained to him exactly what Eren expected from Levi and Erwin if they ever wanted to do a scene with him. A date? Really? Who would willingly subject themselves to that? A night of awkward exchanges and never knowing what was okay and what was crossing the line. And it would probably only be worse with three people instead of the traditional two.
Levi thinks it all over as he stares down at that name—Eren Jaeger. The boy had been sweet yet assertive. Kind but with an underlying spark that fascinates Levi. Someone who identified as submissive but didn't let that one aspect define his entire personality. Levi is interested in the boy, no doubt. But he's more interested in strapping him onto a St. Andrew's cross and flogging his backside for a good half hour than he is in taking the brat out for dinner and a movie. Levi isn't the dating kind of guy. He prefers to get right down to business rather than dancing around someone and wondering when the right time to make a move would be. That's why he sticks to Ludus the way he does, it's all straightforward sex with minimal complications. Hell, the only successful first date he'd ever had was with Erwin and—
Oh.
Maybe that was it then.
Levi's never really closely examined his relationship with Erwin. Despite their admittedly rocky start, it had been easy, really, to fall into sync with Erwin. Finding a dominant that not only accepted his more abrasive nature, but welcomed it was like a dream come true. Levi had been quite shocked when the tall, blonde, and fit specimen that was Erwin Smith had introduced himself and asked Levi out to dinner out of the blue. He had been so shocked, in fact, that he had rejected him without a second thought. Loudly. Rudely. Right in the middle of a busy coffee shop. Levi had expected a glare and a scathing response, but what he got instead was a wide smile and an uninvited guest at his corner table in the café.
"Piss off, blondie." Levi wasn't particularly opposed to a date with Erwin, but the idea of someone as handsome as Erwin being interested in him made Levi more suspicious than flattered. Despite Levi's attitude, though, Erwin had simply chuckled in response.
"May I at least ask why I'm being so spectacularly rejected?" he asked, grin still firmly in place. Levi scowled.
"I get the sense you're not someone who is used to being turned down," he spit out, his walls up high and strong against this bizarre intruder.
"I'm really not," Erwin admitted, ducking his head and scratching the back of his head in a disgustingly adorable gesture.
"Well, tough shit. Because that's exactly what's happening here. Now fuck off." Deciding that the conversation was very much over, Levi turned away from where Erwin was seated at his table and went back to the book he'd been reading before he had been interrupted with an unwanted invitation for a date. There was silence for a few moments, and Levi assumed that Erwin had finally given up and left. But then a small white business card was sliding down the page he was reading. His eyes snapped up to glower at the sheepish grin on Erwin's face as the man pulled his hand back from where it was hovering over the binding of Levi's book.
"What part of fuck off don't you understand, old man?" Levi snatched up the business card and made to tear it up, but was stopped by two large hands grasping his own. Levi was caught between snapping at Erwin's fucking audacity to touch him without permission, and swooning over the warm, strong feeling of Erwin's hands on his skin.
"Please don't," Erwin said softly. "You don't have to call me—" Levi raised an eyebrow at Erwin's assumption that he had any say over what Levi did and didn't have to do. "Okay, right. You don't have to—just…ugh. Okay, just please. Keep the card. Just think about it a bit before you throw it away."
Levi narrowed his eyes at the painfully earnest expression on Erwin's face. He was tempted to rip his hands away and tear up the card anyway out of spite. But Levi was curious. No one had ever tried so hard to get him on a date before. So instead of destroying the card, he rolled his eyes and pulled away from Erwin's grip, before making a show of sticking the business card in between the back pages of his book.
"Happy?" He tried to inject as much irritation in his voice as possible. He couldn't tell from Erwin's pleased smile if he had succeeded or failed. The idiot seemed to enjoy verbal abuse, for whatever reason.
"Extremely," Erwin replied jovially, smile still firmly in place as he rose from his seat. "I really hope I get to hear from you, Levi."
Levi just grunted in response, turning back towards his book to try to cover up the blush he could feel blooming across his face. A few moments later, when he chanced a glance back to where Erwin had been standing, the man was gone.
Levi lets out a sigh as he reminisces. As first meetings go, his encounter with Eren had certainly been better than the disaster at the coffee shop with Erwin. And apparently the boy had been full of that same vitriol Erwin was so fond of when Erwin had first attempted to ask him to play. Levi has seen too many submissives melt under Erwin's charm to not be impressed by Eren's blatant disdain for a man as handsome and charismatic as Erwin.
He rises from his bed and walks over to his bookshelf. He can't help but smile as he pulls out his copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray. Now, all these years later, Levi can admit, at least to himself, that part of his reason for acting so nasty towards Erwin that day in the café had somewhat stemmed from the contempt he felt for the beautiful yet heartless character of Dorian Gray. And it was just Erwin's rotten luck that he had approached Levi right as he was reading about a particularly painful description of Dorian's abhorrent behavior towards his fiancée.
Levi flips to page 247 in the book and pulls out the business card that Erwin had given him all those years ago. Erwin doesn't know that he still has it. It would be an endless source of teasing that Levi would have to endure for the rest of their days together. The card is a little worn at the edges from the dozen or so times over the last ten years when Levi would pull it out just to hold it and think back to that first day in the coffee shop. Usually he took it out whenever he and Erwin were having a fight. Their fights weren't ever terribly big or catastrophic, but the recurring one lately over the last five or six years seemed to revolve around why Levi has repeatedly refused to move in with Erwin, despite Erwin's frequent pleadings. Levi knows that couples that have been together for a long time often have at least one or two recurring fights that never gets resolved because both sides are so deeply ingrained in their stance, so he's not all that worried.
Levi looks from the old business card to the new one he's holding in his other hand. The similarity between the two encounters was eerie, and if Levi was a believer in fate he might examine that similarity a little closer. But he's not. And the bizarre sense of déjà vu he had felt when Eren introduced himself and handed over his card was purely coincidental.
Without another look at either card, Levi stuffs them both back into the pages of his book and returns it to its place on the bookshelf.
Levi refuses to see it as cowardice. It just makes more sense for Erwin to be the communicator between the two of them and Eren. He would be the top dominant in the relationship, if that relationship ever came into fruition—which, Levi reminds himself, it probably wouldn't.
He's startled out of his musings when he hears his phone ringing insistently from his bedside table. Levi walks over and lets out an amused snort when he sees the name on the called I.D.
"You're lucky I was already awake, old man," he says, glancing over to clock that tells him it's just after two in the morning.
"Have you called him, yet?" is the first thing out of Erwin's mouth, and Levi doesn't fight the urge to roll his eyes—he rarely does.
"Of course not."
"Levi," Erwin huffs out a frustrated sigh. "I'm telling you, this is the one."
"Oh, because I've never heard that one before."
"Angel—"
"Don't 'angel' me, Erwin." Levi shifts from foot to foot, trying to squash the guilt he feels at shutting down Erwin's attempt to be sweet. "Look, I'm starting to think that maybe this whole search was a bad idea."
"We can't give up after three years, Levi." Erwin sounds exasperated; Levi doesn't blame him. He can be pretty exasperating.
"We're not getting anywhere with it, though. I'm sick of the disappointment." It had taken quite a few months into their relationship before Levi was even remotely comfortable sharing his feelings with Erwin. He still hates making himself so vulnerable, but he trusts Erwin to an extent he's never trusted anyone before.
"This time is different, angel." Levi doesn't snap at Erwin for the pet name this time. "Can't you see that? We've never tried this before."
Levi doesn't have any response to that. Erwin lets out a sigh into the silence.
"Look, if the idea of a date scares you that much—"
"'M not scared," Levi mumbles petulantly. Erwin chuckles.
"If the idea of a date bothers you that much, why don't you try something more casual with just him first? There's no one right way to do this. We can move at our own pace and build this relationship in whichever way feels most comfortable, yeah?"
Levi considers Erwin's words, but doesn't reply.
"Levi, I know how much you need this. I can see it whenever we're at Ludus. I can even see it come out sometimes when we play. It's not fair that you're only able to express one half of yourself."
Say what you will about Erwin Smith. He can be arrogant, imposing, and manipulative. But he also can see straight into the hearts of those he cares about. He has a way of saying out loud the things that Levi only tells himself inside his own head.
It's times like these when Levi truly does feel loved by Erwin, even more so than when the man says I love you. Levi heaves a sigh and contemplates the numerous ways in which he'll most likely regret what he's about to say.
"Fine, what did you have in mind?"
