Thank you to Hayal Kurmak, Jeimii-chan2009, murasakiana, and LordVanity for reviewing my piece and sticking around for the chapters to come!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters
The town was bustling and busy. Full of people either doing their daily duties or families preparing their daughters for their meeting with the woman who will determine their fate.
"Otae, has Kagura come yet?" A woman with long blonde hair asked. She blew out a puff of smoke and continued, "The match makers not a patient ma…...woman." she quickly corrected herself.
Otae was growing worried and impatient, "Of all the days to be late! I should've made a peace offering to her ancestors for good luck."
"How lucky can they be? They're dead." The purple haired woman remarked. Otae simply deadpanned at her. "If you didn't want Kagura to be late then you should've listened to my suggestion and let her stay the night."
Otae gave the purple haired megane an 'are you serious look.' "First of all she'd have nowhere to stay. I work long hours and Tsukuyo's work keeps her away all night."
"Wait! What about me!? You purposely skipped over me didn't you!?"
"Sacchan…...I don't consider you an adult. Your irresponsible, and we wouldn't want Kagura to see what you do on your spare time." Otae smirked at her.
"Ugh! I'm truly offended! Well whatever we're here now and if you're so worried about 'luck,' I have the perfect solution!"
Both women stared at Sacchan in confusion and curiosity. Suddenly, she pulled a useless-looking man from nowhere who was dressed in a cricket suit. Their interest was immediately lost and the women went back to whatever they were doing to begin with.
"What's with that reaction!? I'll have you know that this guy's pretty lucky! He successfully lured a crowd of customers to try the fried crickets at the food stand over there!" Sacchan was trying to explain, pointing at the stand, and desperately get the other two women's attention.
"Um excuse me…." The giant human-cricket was trying to speak, "can you let go of me? I have to get back to my job….I kinda need this."
"Shut up you Madao."
"...My name's Hasegawa….."
"Anyway! I'll prove to you just how lucky this Madao is!"
"This Madao thing is starting to get hurtful...I mean I know that was my seventh job of the day but….."
The poor Madao was cut off by Sacchan pulling him down to whisper something to him, "This is your chance to prove yourself!" Sacchan shut her eyes and began to guide herself into the midst of the busy streets, all the while holding onto a screaming Hasegawa.
"Sacchan! No!" Otae watched in horror and in what felt like eternity Sacchan emerged from the cart wreck in the streets.
"Yup this one's a lucky one!" Sacchan yelled in triumph while Hasegawa fainted once they were back on the sidewalk.
Otae shook her head in disbelief at this. She suddenly heard what sounded like a dog barking, and realized it was Kagura riding Sadaharu towards them. She then hopped off, "I'm here!"
Otae looked at her in slight annoyance, "What? But Anego I had to—"
"None of your excuses!" Otae brought Kagura into her house and the other two women followed, "Now lets get you cleaned up."
Suddenly the beginning of Honor to us all plays
This is what you give me to work with?
Well honey I've seen worse.
"Hey!" Kagura yelled
We're going to turn this tomboy
Into a silk purse
"...Um….Anego what's with the music?"
"Don't pay attention to it Kagura-chan, just sing your part when it's your turn," Otae gave her trademark smile as Kagura climbed into the larger than life tub.
We'll have you, washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Just my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all.
Kagura climbed back out of the tub and was instantly pushed to the next station where Tsukuyo was waiting for her
Wait and see, when I'm through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With good fortune
And a great hairdo
Tsukuyo tied Kagura's hair up in a trademark bun*
You'll bring honor to us all.
All three women sat her down and began to take out the materials for the next step of the transformation.
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
Sacchan tried to take out her "tools" but Otae swiftly knocked her out.
And this might be the day.
Men want girls with good taste
Otae smiled to Kagura flashing her the kimono that she and Tsukuyo prepared
Calm
Tsukuyo added while helping Kagura dress
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
Sacchan added appearing from nowhere and that resulted her with a kick to the face by Otae
And a tiny waist
Tsukuyo sang tying the yellow obi tight; Kagura gasped at the sudden loss of air
You'll bring honor to us all.
Tsukuyo began preparing the make up, and Sacchan once again tried to incorporate her "tools" in the process receiving another kick from Otae.
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Kiheitai
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
When we're through,
You can't fail
Like a lotus blossom, soft and pale
Otae and Tsukuyo sang while applying the makeup.
How could any fellow say, "No sale"?
The sudden intrusion by Sacchan earned a kunai to her head.
You'll bring honor to us all!
Otae placed a metal headdress that was gold with a red bead to match her kimono and smiled at her, "There, you're ready."
"Not yet!" Sacchan chimed in, earning her a deadpanned look from Otae.
An apple for serenity
A pendant for balance
Beads of jade for beauty
You must proudly show it
Now, add a cricket, just for luck,
"Excuse me I really need to get back to my job," Hasegawa tried to protest, but Sacchan already leashed him to Kagura.
And even you can't blow it!
Sacchan winked at her.
Ancestors, hear my plea,
Please don't let me make a fool of me
And to not uproot my family tree
Keep my Papi from going bald.
Kagura noticed the other girls headed towards the matchmakers place and scrambled to follow, opening her trademark purple umbrella.
Scarier than the Undertaker,
We are meeting our matchmaker!
Kagura joined the line of girls and Otae, Tsukuyo, and Sacchan, along with other guardians and parents followed after the girls
Destiny, guard our girls,
Help our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll ...
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us all!
The girls brought their umbrella forward to hide themselves and kneeled before the door of the matchmakers office. Which looked a lot like an okama bar…
Suddenly the doors open, and out comes the matchmaker with a clipboard in hand…..who bears a strong resemblance to….
"Good afternoon, my name is Mademoiselle Saigou, I will be serving as the matchmaker."
Everyone in the crowd tried to hide their surprise reaction…..while Otae and the others looked somewhat disgusted and disappointed at the same time.
"Anyway, before it gets too late…...Yato Kagura?!"
Kagura sprang up with delight and yelled, "Present!"
Mme. Saigou looked at her clipboard and began to write…..most likely docking her off points, "Speaking without permission."
"Oops.." Kagura entered and the matchmaker closed the doors harshly behind them.
"Do you think Kagura-chan will be alright?" Otae held her cheek in concern.
"Don't worry! Kagura's a strong-willed girl! She can handle herself." Sacchan said reassuringly.
"That may be so Sacchan, but….." this sentence caught the attention of both women and they stared at the blonde smoking her pipe in curiosity. Tsukuyo blew out a puff of smoke and then continued, "she's also blunt…..the matchmaker's pretty...outspoken...and this may provoke Kagura to fight fire with fire."
The other two women suddenly understood what their friend was referring to. Both began profusely praying that the cricket would live up to its name and hopefully prevent Kagura from saying anything stupid.
And that's chapter 2! Sorry if it's short…..I'm not exactly sure where to cut it off haha, but that seemEd appropriate enough! Anyway! So I'm sure you all figured out that by "trademark bun," "yellow obi," and "headdress" I was alluding to the outfit Kagura wore when fighting in Yoshiwara (absolute favorite outfit of hers!), just longer. Not much else to say other than I will do my best to update as much as I can. School hasn't been too hectic so while I have the time, I'll do my best to update! Peace~
