Chapter 2
In the coming days, I spend a lot of time with Harry. I watched his face that day from a distance. His friends left to visit Hogsmeade without him. He needs a friend right now, not a professor. We walk around the grounds in an attempt to distract his thoughts from his friends. Our talk turns to the dementor on the train. He tells me he heard a woman scream. When he says he thinks it might have been his mother, I clinch my jaw tightly together to keep from howling in grief. Instead, I talk to him, moving away as to stifle the temptation to pull him into a bone crushing hug. I know it would only frighten him.
Days later, I am about to leave my classroom for the comfort of my chambers when Sir Nicholas informs me of Severus' intention to get Harry into trouble for being out of his dormitory after curfew.
Thanking Nick, I head out in the direction of where Severus was last seen. I am not far away when I hear Harry's voice. I choke down a laugh as Harry repeats something I never expected to hear. But then again, I never expected to be back here. Harry has the map, that much I'm sure of. Oops, time to stop Severus from doing something he may regret.
Calling out, I carefully shift his attention to me. His head whips around. Severus makes a crack about me and moonlight. I ignore it. Zonkos. I swallow down a laugh. If he only knew! As a teacher, I can't allow Harry to keep the map. As me, I want to look over this masterpiece I helped to create. I want to feel it under my fingertips, tracing every line on its surface, reliving the past, one wall at a time.
Back in my classroom, I can't help myself from letting my anger boil to the surface. I can't bear to lose him like I lost all the others. Harry doesn't bother trying to explain his actions. I tell him to go back to his dormitory. Almost as an after thought, he tells me he doesn't think the map works. Of course it works. I can't begin to count the number of times we used it since the day we finally perfected it. It showed someone in the castle, someone he knew to be dead, he says. I couldn't help myself if I'd tried. Who? Peter Pettigrew? That's not possible and I tell him exactly that. That's what he saw?
I stand in shock as Harry says goodnight and leaves. As soon as he is out of sight, I sink to the floor. My mind is a mass of confusion and grief. It's just not possible. If Harry SAW Peter, then this means…… Sirius! Merlin, Sirius never was their Secret Keeper! In that instant, it became horrifyingly clear. At the last minute, unbeknownst to me or anyone else, they had changed to Peter. I broke down then. My heart broke into a million pieces as tears ran unchecked down my face. Sirius had NOT betrayed James and Lily. I had betrayed Sirius by not believing in him. I do not sleep a wink all night.
