This will be a Pacifica/Dipper fic.

ii. Mystery Hack

Pacifica stared up at the moldy old building that served as Gravity Fall's premier tourist trap.

She was not impressed.

Beside her, Gideon bounced on his toes. "Isn't it great! They have tons of neat exhibits and a gift shop - that's where I got my hat - and a magic show!"

Pacifica glared at the fallen "S" that turned the Mystery Shack into the "Mystery Hack". "It's . . . something, alright."

Gideon was practically vibrating with excitement, and Pacifica wondered if he was a little old to be so enthusiastic about it.

A bus load of tourists stampeded by, all snapping pictures and exclaiming over the scenery (How rustic, how charming!). They swarmed up the steps so they could mill around the sign proclaiming:

Tours Start Here [9:00 AM]

$20 Admission

No Refunds!

They posed around a cardboard cut out, poking their heads through so they could pretend to be Sasquatch or Bigfoot or whatever it was. The click and flash of cameras burrowed into Pacifica's brain, and she winced away from the tour group.

At least Gideon wasn't taking pictures, then.

"Tour starts in five minutes," Gideon said. "We could go look in the gift shop or just wander around, if you like."

Pacifica nodded, and moved away from the building, toward a totem pole just beyond the steps leading into the museum, and paused beside it, scrutinizing her surroundings. Tourists, old wood, trees; a goat frolicked by, chewing on what looked like a hat. The woods surrounding the building were thick and dark; the owners probably made sure to keep it that way, to keep up the ambiance of the Shack.

Goosebumps prickled on the back of her neck. Pacifica slowly turned, scanning the trees. A cool breeze ruffled her hair and leaves rustled.

God, this place was creepy.

"Isn't this cool!" Gideon appeared beside her so suddenly that Pacifica jumped and had to stifle a scream. She punched his shoulder, ignoring his cry of protest. "Don't scare me like that!" Gideon pouted, rubbing his arm. "Alright, sorry, I didn't mean to. We should probably go back to the museum, before the tour fills up. You have the twenty bucks, right?"

"What? No, I didn't even know we'd need money." And she didn't have any. "You're paying."

"But-"

"Gideon, you're the one who dragged me here." She glared down at him. He pouted angrily this time, sticking out his bottom lip and narrowing his eyes, all while managing to look sickeningly adorable too. It was a look that she knew had his parents jumping to do his bidding. But not her.

Pacifica crossed her arms and scowled, channeling that Don't-You-Dare-Cross-Me-Peasant Look her mother had perfected. "Either you pay or I leave."

"Fine, fine!" Gideon backed down. "But you're helping me with my next video."

Pacifica rolled her eyes, but didn't object. Even if she wanted to pay, she couldn't. Her parents weren't rich anymore, and had barely allowed Pacifica the money to buy clothes and textbooks; she had learned to frequent thrift and used book stores, and had worked her ass off to get scholarships and save up for college. She had nothing to spare for her cousin's strange whims.

Pacifica followed Gideon back to the museum, where he deposited the money into a box held by a pretty redhead wearing a lumberjack hat, who looked only a few years older than Pacifica. She watched as the girl collected the admission fee from the tourists, before snapping the box shut, tucking it under her arm, and cupping her hands around her mouth in a makeshift megaphone. "Okay, listen up, folks! The tour's gonna start any minute now, so we thank you for your patience. The tour ends in the gift shop, and then the magic show begins ten minutes after the tour ends in the tent, just follow the signs. It is a separate ticket that you can purchase from me after the tour. If you have any questions, my name's Wendy and I'll be in the gift shop. Thank you and have a wonderful time at the Mystery Shack."

The girl bounded back down the steps and disappeared around the corner, toward the gift shop, Pacifica supposed.

Gideon beamed after her. "That's Wendy Corduroy, she's worked here forever. She's so gorgeous, I need to know what moisturizer she uses."

Okay.

Pacifica was opening her mouth to question whether or not the magic show was really worth the probably exorbitant fee it cost when BANG.

Thick grey smoke clouded Pacifica's vision, engulfing the tour group. Coughing, she reached out blindly and clutched at what she was 75% sure was Gideon's shoulder.

A gruff voice cut through the exclamations and coughing of the tour group. "Whoa, sorry folks! That one was a bit more explosive than usual!"

Slowly, the smoke cleared, dissipated by the summer breeze, to reveal an old man standing in front of the closed museum entrance, dressed in a suit and maroon bowtie complete with a matching fez. He was working a serious five o'clock shadow, and held a short staff topped with a magic eight ball.

"Alright, everyone ready? Nobody's blind?" The man took a moment to survey the group, his eyebrows rising slightly as he noticed Pacifica and Gideon near the back.

Satisfied he wouldn't be sued anytime soon, he reached backwards to open the door to the museum. It creaked menacingly, and Pacifica was surprised they didn't play any haunted house sound effects.

The guide stepped inside, beckoning them closer. "Come in, come in, but be warned: if you enter, you may not like everything you see."

He topped it all off with a sinister laugh.

Oh boy.

The tour group filed into the darkened room; the only lights were the occasional lamps hanging from the wooden beam ceiling and the floor lights illuminating the exhibits.

The exhibits.

Complete nonsense. They were obviously badly taxidermied animals glued together, with a few old wood carvings and vaguely historical looking artefacts scattered between them.

And, Pacifica thought, we're paying to be here.

No wonder they stressed the no refunds policy.

The tour group followed the guide through the room, listened to the increasingly dubious origins of each exhibit with rapt attention. Time inched by, as Pacifica's feet soon began to ache in her battered Chuck Taylors and she realized that the museum wasn't air conditioned.

By the time the tour was finished a half hour later, the last exhibit being a rock that looked like a face, Pacifica was ready to go back to Uncle Bud's and sleep until lunch.

But Gideon had other ideas.

She loitered beside the cash register as he darted through the gift shop, flipping through the racks of clothes and peering into the slow globes.

"So, you're new in town?"

Pacifica looked around to see the redheaded girl from earlier watching her, a magazine abandoned in her lap.

"Uh, yeah." Pacifica tried to smile. "Staying with Gideon and Uncle Bud for the summer."

The girl nodded and stuck out her hand. "Wendy Corduroy."

Pacifica shook it. "Pacifica Northwest."

"Cool name. But I take it you're not exactly a fan of the supernatural?"

Pacifica shook her head. "No, but Gideon was really excited. And I didn't have anything better to do," she added, just make sure that Wendy didn't mistake her for a good person.

Wendy nodded. "Yeah, this place isn't the best if you want to go monster hunting. If you wanna find something good and weird, you need to go out into the woods. Or underground, there's loads of crazy things buried around here."

"Err, thanks for the tip?" It came out more like a question, but Wendy seemed to take Pacifica's withdrawn manner in stride. "No problem. But, uh, hey, since this is a tiny town, and I know it can be kinda weird just hanging out with your kid cousin, can I give you my number? I'll give you a shout next time me and my friends meet up."

Pacifica nodded, and dug her cracked phone out of her pocket and handed it wordlessly to Wendy, who punched in her number. Pacifica sent her a ghost emoji, making the older girl snicker.

Pacifica decided she liked Wendy. She could use some friends; at home, the ones she had from when she was rich ignored her, and everyone else hated her because of her awful behavior from when she was rich.

Bottom line, no one to sit with at lunch.

Gideon appeared, cradling a shrunken head. "Hey Wendy, how much is this?"

"Ten bucks."

He forked over the cash. How much money does Bud give this kid? "And how much is the magic show?"

"Ten bucks a ticket," Wendy answered.

Gideon's face fell. "Oh, I only have ten left. One of us won't be able to see it."

"That's okay," Pacifica said quickly. "I'll just wait here. You go on without me."

"But you should see it-"

"Really, Gideon, it's not that big a deal-"

"Dudes," Wendy interrupted. "I'll just give you the extra ticket."

Pacifica's mouth fell open. "Oh, no, we really can't do that."

"No, it's fine!" Wendy insisted. She ducked underneath the counter and pulled out a roll of tickets stubs. She plucked off one and handed it to Gideon, before grabbing a stray piece of paper and scribbling "WENDY" on it. "Here, just give this to the ticket guy, Soos, and tell him I sent you. I can't actually give you the ticket, because Mr. Pines, the owner, counts them at the end of the day and matches it to our profits."

She held out the paper. Pacifica hesitated. "I really don't want to get you in trouble."

"No, it's fine!" Wendy waved the scrap in Pacifica's face. She leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. "It's just Dipper fucking around anyway, I won't charge you to watch this shit; you already had to go through the tour."

"Pleeeease, Pacifica?" Gideon begged.

"Well. . . alright," Pacifica relented and took the contraband ticket. "I owe you one."

She hated owing people.

"Cool," Wendy said cheerfully. "You guys should get a move on, it starts soon. There's a sign out there that says "Magic Show This Way." Just follow that. Do you want me to wrap up that shrunken head, Gideon?"

"No thanks."

"Alright. See you around."

Dismissed, Gideon scrambled for the exit, the door slamming behind him.

Pacifica watched him go before giving Wendy a small wave in goodbye and shuffling after her cousin.

Pacifica liked Gideon. He didn't judge her for her former money-fueled bitchiness (he also hadn't known her then, and now she was just an irascible bitch instead of a snobby one) and he didn't value her for whatever money she did or did not have.

But Gideon was also just her kid cousin, and a kind of spoiled one at that. In the two days she had been staying with the Gleefuls, Pacifica could already tell that his parents denied him nothing. Bud approached him with a deferential attitude very far from how most fathers talked to their children, and, as far as Pacifica could tell, his mother provided food and a cleaning service, but shied away from a relationship with her son.

In short, Gideon was the alpha dog in his house, his reign kept through controlled temper tantrums and adorable sweetness, and Pacifica wasn't sure how she fit into the pack.

As she walked down the path, marked with signs proclaiming "SHOW THIS WAY!" and "DON'T FORGET YOUR TICKET!" and simply "?", Pacifica pondered her extended family. And herself. For all her usual crabbiness, she had made an effort with the Gleefuls she hadn't before. Like her parents, they were bound by familial obligations to take care of her, but unlike her parents, Bud actually treated her like a human being. No insane diets, no clothing inspections, no backhanded comments, and no bells. She was basically allowed to roam wherever, as long as she came back at a decent time. There weren't many places to roam, but having the freedom to do so was nice.

The sound of distant music reached Pacifica's ears, and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her thrift store-jeans-turned-shorts and picked up the pace, nearly tripping over several exposed roots as she walked.

As she reached the end of the trail ("WELCOME TO THE TENT OF MYSTERY!"), the clearing in which the tent was settled came into view. Another totem pole stood guard by a tan tepee decorated with symbols Pacifica could only describe as eccentric. A pine tree was most prominent, as well as several shooting stars and, of course, question marks. She could see a few small fish that matched the one on the tour guide -Mr. Pines'- fez. What looked like an ice pack. A llama. And, at the top, a single malevolent eye in a triangle that reminded Pacifica of the pyramid on the dollar bill. Music played from an unseen source; it sounded like a vaguely familiar movie soundtrack.

It was actually sort of creepy in a weirdly haphazard way.

"Hey, dude!"

The voice knocked Pacifica out of her reverie, and she looked around to see who she guessed was Soos; he was a tall guy, but also portly, a bit chubby and sporting a double chin, and wearing a staff t-shirt with yet another giant question mark splayed across the front. "You here to watch the show?"

"Uh, yeah." Pacifica hurried toward him, digging out the already crumpled Wendy ticket out of her pocket. "Er, Wendy said to give you this?"

"Oh, okay, cool." Soos glanced down at the name scribbled across it before stuffing it into his own pocket. He waved a hand at the open flap leading into the tent. "Enjoy the show!"

Pacifica ducked into the tent, and quickly found Gideon sitting in the second row of wooden benches. She slid in beside him, and glanced around. The inside was painted much like the outside, with pine trees, shooting stars, and other random items. Small electric lanterns hung from nails in each bench, illuminating the dim interior. In front of the benches, a small wooden platform sat, complete a small stool. The canvas behind the platform was painted black, and whirl of stars flecked over it, the Big Dipper splayed over them.

The tent darkened further as the entrance flap swung shut, and Pacifica could see Soos sitting just inside, fumbling with something she couldn't see. Probably a speaker, since a drumroll replaced the soundtrack permeating the room, and a teenage boy about Pacifica's own age sidled onto the platform.

The first thing she noticed about him was the cape.

It was ridiculous.

He wore a classic magician's outfit bedecked with turquoise sequins and embroidered stars, a barely glowing amulet (probably battery powered) fixed to a bowlo tie of all things. His hair was slicked back to show off another Big Dipper drawn on his forehead.

Well, if he was going for an utterly ludicrous style, he certainly managed it.

He dawdled at the edge of the platform for a moment, sifting through a pocket in his slacks, and poof! Smoke exploded from the floor at his feet, and when it cleared a moment later, the boy was standing at the center, arms spread wide, smirking just enough to make him look like an ass.

Pacifica wondered if the Shack bought smoke bombs in bulk.

The music shuffled from the drumroll to a clangy background music, more like something that played at an amusement park. "Welcome" proclaimed the boy. "To the Tent of Mystery! I am the Big Dipper!" He bowed at the waist, a decent imitation of a dapper gentlemen, and kicked off the show with the appearance of a bouquet of flowers in his hand, which of course he gave to an older tourist parked in front of Pacifica and Gideon.

"The Big Dipper" bounced between tricks, classic things that Pacifica could vaguely remember watching performed as a child; a vanishing rabbit, conjured doves twittering upward and vanishing out of the hole in the tent ceiling, an infinite scarf pulled from his sleeve.

The most interesting part was when he addressed the audience. "Who's from out of town? Raise your hand. No, wait, stop."

He stepped off the platform and pointed at the woman closest to him, still clutching the flowers gifted to her earlier. "South Dakota, right? Rapid City?"

"Omigosh, yes! How'd you know?"

The Big Dipper only smiled and bowed his head slightly. The amulet seemed to glow a little brighter. He continued on to the other tourists. Phoenix. Salt Lake City. Lexington. St. Louis. Soos or Wendy or somebody probably checked the license plates of the cars parked outside the shack. He paused as he reached Pacifica, studying her intently, and she had to stop herself from squirming. He wasn't leering at her, merely examining. It unnerved her.

"I hope you enjoy your summer here, Pacifica."

Pacifica blinked. "Uh, thanks." Wendy must have told him my name, texted it to him or something.

He nodded.

Pacifica stared.

The Big Dipper turned to Gideon, and his smile froze on his face. "Gideon. What a surprise."

"Hi!" Gideon seemed delighted that he remembered his name, and he fidgeted in his seat.

"You've been here before."

"Yeah, I'm surprised you remember me!" His shoes tapped against the packed dirt floor.

". . . Yeah. You've . . . There's something different about you." The amulet seemed to glare at them in the dark light. Slowly, the Big Dipper moved on.