SANTA IS COMING!!!!!!
Seriously. He's coming in like…. 4 sleeps!!!!
I'm not actually that hyper. I'm more like 'I seriously have to pack? Ugh I should do laundry. It's snowing, gross, I have to travel tomorrow.'
But Addekmas makes me happy.
Happy and like…. pine-y. I pine for them. *Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines*
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Christmas Eve I woke up a little nervous.
The night before I'd driven home to Milford and I'd spent the whole drive trying to think of a solution to what I had deemed 'The Addison Thing'. I'd come up with nothing. My mother was still up doing last minute Christmas things when I walked in the door, but I had gifts to wrap so I went up to my room to take care of that, in hindsight I should have asked her advice. Mom would have known what to do, assured me that Addison would call and cancel and I wouldn't have to worry about accidently inviting her to dinner. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I'd invited Addison –– I might have been worried that she'd think of a plausible way to uninvited her.
So I sat silently in my room, wrapping presents, dreading the next day –– and realizing that I'd once again forgotten a gift for Nancy.
I finally decided to sleep on it and spent the next four hours tossing and turning, but not finding a solution.
Then, suddenly, it was morning. Christmas Eve.
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I wished I had a car. I took the train from the city to Westport and it just gave me way to much time to think. And worry: Should I bring a gift for his mother? She was the host after all. But if I brought one for her I should bring one for Derek. And I couldn't bring something for Derek and his mother and not bring anything for Kathleen. And what about all the nieces and nephews? They weren't going to be there, but they'd find out that I'd been there and I'm their aunt I couldn't just visit at Christmas and not bring them gifts.
I didn't understand how there was no etiquette rules for spending Christmas with your ex-in-laws. I thought surely this had happened to someone before and they'd figured out how it's suppose to work.
But then I realized that no, no one else could possibly manage to get themselves into this situation. This said Addison all over it.
And all I knew was that I had to find a way out of it.
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"Derek! Derek!"
"Huh?" Derek looked up from the potatoes he was peeling, "What?"
"I've been calling you for five minutes," she rasped.
Derek smiled, "What do you need mom?"
"What is going on with you," she smiled, "You are so distracted today."
"How's your throat?"
She waved him away, "I'm fine," she opened the oven door and started basting the turkey, "You've peeled enough potatoes. There's only 3 of us."
Derek dropped the peeler like it was on fire and backed away from the potatoes. "I need to go get another present!"
Evelyn glanced at him in confusion, "I thought thats what you were doing this morning."
"You really shouldn't be talking, Mom," Derek evaded, "I'll be back soon."
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"Unpacking?"
Addison looked around her childhood bedroom. She had clothing laid out on every surface, but nothing seemed appropriate. "Yeah. Just unpacking."
Her father stepped into her room and Addison paused a blouse in her hand, "We're glad you're home Addy-girl."
"Um okay," Addison turned back to her suitcase, "Thanks."
The phone rang.
Addison turned toward the door, her ears pricked.
Her father watched her curiously.
"Jock! Edward is on the phone!" Addison's mother's voice rang shrilly down the hall.
Addison's shoulders sagged and she tossed the blouse over the back of a chair.
"Your mother and I are going to Martha's for the evening. We would love it if you and your brother would join us."
Addison turned, "Maybe. It's tonight? At Martha's?"
"She'd love to see you."
"And she's an old friend of the family. It would be rude not to go," Addison bit her lip.
"Addison?" her father questioned.
Addison grinned, "I'll think about it."
"Okay," her father beamed, "I should take this call, but I'm so glad you're finally home."
"Um. Yeah. Thanks," Addison smiled awkwardly, "It's good to be back."
"I'll leave you to unpack," Jock Montgomery backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Addison sat down on the edge of her bed. She should have stayed in LA.
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I think my mother thought I was completely insane that whole day.
I was completely distracted. I went to the store 3 times for Cranberry sauce and brought back pie every time.
And every time the phone rang I thought it was Addison's calling to cancel.
XXXX
I had an excuse not to go. My parents invited me to the neighbors New Years Eve party and I convinced Archer to go to so I wouldn't be alone.
Then, just to prove how sadistic I can be when it comes to my love life; I faked sick, changed my clothes, borrowed one of my dad's sports cars, and drove 40 minutes to the Shepherd's house for Christmas dinner.
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The doorbell rang.
Evelyn paused as she ladled gravy into the gravy boat and looked towards the front door in confusion.
"Who would that be?" Kathleen Shepherd-Brown stood from the table and moved towards the door.
"Addison," Derek blurted out.
Both women turned to him.
"I invited Addison," Derek sounded casual, but refused to meet their eyes, "We ran into each other in the city last night and I said she should stop by."
"Addison?" his mother rasped, her voice almost completely gone due to a lingering bout of bronchitis, "You invited…" she dropped her ladle and turned away.
"You invited your ex-wife? What the hell is wrong with you Derek?" Kathleen threw her hands up into the air.
The doorbell rang again.
"You better let her in," Kathleen said, throwing open a cupboard door, "So much for having a nice quiet adulterous-homewrecker-free meal."
"Kathleen!"
"If I wanted to spend Christmas Eve discussing divorce and how 'it just happened once' still counts as cheating I would be spending Christmas Eve with my husband and our children."
Doorbell.
"Oh for Christ-sakes Derek let her in!"
Derek walked slowly to the front door, taking a deep breath before swinging it open.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Come on in," Derek stepped back and let her pass, "How was the drive?"
"It was good. Good driving weather."
"Good. Good," Derek forcefully removed his hands from his pockets, "Can I take your coat?"
"Umm, sure," Addison shrugged awkwardly out of her jacket releasing a rush perfume.
XXXX
I remember she smelled really good.
Between the perfume and Kathleen's attitude I already knew it was going to be a long night.
XXXX
I didn't think he was going to open the door. I thought that maybe he'd changed his mind and wasn't going to let me in.
The night might have gone smoother if he left me out in the cold.
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"So you're in LA now?" Kathleen asked dully as she stabbed at her peas.
"Yeah," Addison nodded, "I love it. You should come visit some time."
"Oh yeah. Maybe I'll bring Peter. LA is the adulter's capital of north America isn't it? Actually that would be great, we could go down there, get one of your fancy west coast divorce lawyers… you guys can swap tips on how best to screw over your spouse."
"Kathleen!"
"It's fine Derek," Addison smiled at him, "The holidays are hard. Remember last Christmas?"
"You didn't talk to me the whole time."
"You didn't deserve conversation," she smiled.
He chuckled.
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Kathleen wanted to kill me. Of that I am certain. I think she had a plan to take me out back to show me something and then kill me. I think she envisioned stringing me up a tree by my neck for sleeping with my husband's best friend.
At that point I was thinking this was one of the stupidest things I'd ever done. Adultery included.
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Kathleen actually wanted to kill her. If looks could render people dead then Addison would've been on the floor. But, as always, she remained poised and stared at her fork until Mom mercifully changed the subject.
I was praying the whole time for God to help us all. This was a mistake.
And then Addison went and asked about Meredith.
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"It's to bad Meredith had to stay in Seattle."
Kathleen and Evelyn's heads shot up and Kathleen smirked.
"Derek…" Evelyn sighed.
Derek carefully wiped his mouth on the corner of his napkin, "Meredith and I are not currently pursuing a traditional relationship."
Addison dropped her fork, "Do not tell me that you are still with that scrub nurse whatever her name is."
"No, as a matter of fact Meredith and I are… we are living together."
"You're living with her but you aren't… That was not the deal Derek," Addison's cheeks flushed, "We did not get divorced so you could shack up with her for convenient sex! I thought she was getting her act together! When I talked to her––"
"I'm working on it! I convinced her to let me move in didn't I? I'm working on getting rid of the roommates. But she's really attached to them!"
"You're living with Meredith and Steeven's?"
"And Karev."
"You're living with Alex?" she squeaked.
"Yeah," he looked at her oddly.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Just 'oh'," Addison picked up her fork and carefully stabbed a piece of turkey.
"Oh?"
"Who's Alex?" Kathleen asked.
"No one," Addison shrugged, her plate suddenly really fascinating.
Derek grunted and ripped apart a roll.
Addison glanced at him, searching his face carefully.
He glanced back at her, "So. You're dating a cop?"
Addison nodded but couldn't bring herself to break eye contact.
"He couldn't come?"
"He had to work."
"Meredith wanted to spend Christmas with her friends. They're like family to her."
"My dad wanted me to come home."
Derek nodded, "You should be with your family at Christmas."
"Yeah."
"Yeah," Kathleen agreed, her lip trembling.
Evelyn reached over and patted her daughters hand.
"I'm going to clean up," Kathleen snatched up Derek's plate and bolted for the kitchen.
"I'll help her," Evelyn stood and reached for Addison's plate, "Are you done?"
Addison nodded, then turned to Derek.
He leaned back in his chair, completely at a loss for what they were suppose to do next. "Do you want to see the tree?"
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I think it was the tree that changed things.
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Don't listen to him. It wasn't the tree.
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"So you and Alex?"
"You caught that huh?"
"I caught that," Derek took a sip of the wine that they had carried with them from the dinning room. "Is that why you left?"
"No," Addison smiled and stretched her feet out towards the fire, "But he certainly made it easier."
"So you left because of me?" Derek turned towards her. He rested his elbow on the seat of the couch they were leaning against and propped his chin up on his palm.
"No, I left because of Mark."
"Because of Mark?" he chuckled.
"Oh yeah," Addison picked up her wine glass, "He was driving me crazy."
"He was in love with you."
"Yeah. And it was really annoying. It was Mark."
"Come on. He was your friend."
"My friend yeah. But that was never going to work. 'Mommy? How did you and Daddy meet?' 'Well little Timmy and Sally, Mommy was married to a wonderful man and then one day Mommy was having a bad day and Daddy showed up and he's very charming and sweet when he wants to be, and I was stuck with him 'cause he was my friend.'"
"That's a beautiful story."
"Yeah well..." Addison drained her glass, "At least I'm not living with a bunch of co-ed's," she pointedly raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah. That didn't exactly work out like I was expecting."
"Those damn kids."
Derek chuckled again, "I get it. She's young. But yeah, it's definitely not what I was expecting. Turns out I was old and settled in my ways and I'm finding it very hard to adjust to that lifestyle again."
"You don't like changed."
"You changed your hair and I like it."
"No you don't," Addison teased.
"No. I don't," he smiled and looked away.
"Oh," Evelyn stepped into the room, "Addison I didn't know you were still here. Why are you sitting on the floor?" She stepped over Derek's legs, "Kathleen slipped out the back, she said to wish you a Merry Christmas," She set a plate of cookies and a tall glass of milk on the coffee table in front of them, "For Santa," she told them.
Derek and Addison exchanged a look.
"Well I'm off to bed," Evelyn stepped closer to the door, "Addison, it was nice to see you again, Derek, I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night Evelyn."
"Night Mom."
Derek and Addison sat in silence a few moments.
"I didn't realize it was so late," Addison sighed and looked at the clock on the mantel.
"Do you want more wine?"
"I probably shouldn't."
"You want the milk and cookies don't you?"
"Yes." She laughed as he passed her the plate, "Do you want one."
"Yes."
"You know, I really should go," Addison sighed and took a bite out of her cookie, "It's after 12 and I have to drive back to Westport."
"Well, at least finish your cookie and drink some milk."
"I was going to. I love your mom's cookies," Addison smiled, "I was also thinking of throwing a couple in my purse for the ride home."
"As long as you leave some for Santa," he said, standing and helping her to her feet, "Are you okay to drive?"
"Derek, I didn't have that much wine," she smirked and then groaned as she took another bite of a cookie, "This is so good."
"I know, but it's late," he glanced out the window, "And snowing."
"I'll be fine," she crossed the room to the hallway and opened the closet door to retrieve her coat, "I'll drive carefully."
"Okay," he helped lift the heavy winter coat over her shoulders, then reached past her for his own, "I'll walk you to your car."
They walked in silence, their feet crunching in the light layer of snow covering the walkway.
"It's cold," she observed.
"It's winter."
She laughed as they stopped beside her car. They stood silently for a moment listening to the snow fall. "I got you something," she said finally.
"I got you something to," he panicked, "It's in the house, I'll go get it."
"No, it's okay. You didn't have to get me anything."
"No. Wait here. I'll be right back," he dashed back into the house, returned moments later with a small box clutched in his hands, "It's gloves."
She laughed, "Thanks," she pressed her own gift into his hands, "So is yours."
"Guess we just ruined Christmas morning didn't we."
"I ruined yours out of spite," she grinned. Her smile turned wistful and she looked up at him, "Thank you for inviting me."
"I'm glad you came."
"I almost didn't."
They stood close together, the snow falling around them and their breath fogging up the air between them.
"You should come over tomorrow," Addison blurted out to fill the silence, "For Christmas dinner."
"Okay," Derek agreed just as quickly.
They continued to stand there, in silence, unable to break the gaze between them.
"I should go," she whispered breathlessly.
"Okay," his eyes flickered unconsciously down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.
"Okay," she stepped away, their eyes stilled locked, and slid into her car.
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And just like that we were back to where we were the night before. Only this time I had accepted an invitation to Christmas Dinner that I probably shouldn't have.
And she's right. It wasn't the tree, it was the moment by the car.
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Definitely the moment by the car.
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The house was completely dark as Addison drove up. She parked the car as silently as possible and pressed the door closed without making a sound. Doing the same with the heavy front door she immediately slipped out of her shoes and padded silently across the front foyer to the stars.
"Sneaking in pass curfew?"
Addison groaned, "Did Dad and Busy realize I was gone?"
"Well, Busy wasn't noticing much of anything at that point and Dad was pretty wiped just from, you know, being in her presence all night, so they both went straight to bed. I of course stayed up to have a night cap with my little sister, but found her to be... missing." He held out a glass of clear liquid.
"What is it?" she asked, accepting it anyway.
He shrugged, "Where were you?"
"Nowhere."
"At one o'clock in the morning?"
"Old friend from school?"
"Who?"
"Melanie."
"Really? 'Cause I saw Melanie at Martha's party tonight. She said to say hi."
"Right," Addison nodded, "I saw her after that. She left early and then we met for coffee."
"Coffee?" Archer asked in surprise, "Where did you find coffee this late at night?"
"The gas station out by the interstate."
"They have coffee?"
"Yeah."
"Archer?"
Addison turned towards the staircase.
"Oh. Hey Addison. I heard you were back in town."
"Hi. Melanie," Addison said through gritted teeth
"Archer? Are you coming back?" Melanie asked wrapping his shirt tighter around her.
"Yeah. Addison was just telling me about her evening." He smiled at his sister as she glared at him.
"I thought you weren't feeling well."
"I thought so too," Archer smirked.
"I'm going to bed now," Addison put down her glass down with a thud, then turned on her heel and marched up the stairs, "Nice seeing you Melanie."
"Yeah. You too. We should go out for coffee before you go back."
"Yeah," Addison nodded as she disappeared from sight, making it more then obvious that they would not be going out for coffee.
"Where was she?" Melanie asked as she descended the rest of the stairs and tilted her head at Archer.
"I don't know. Let's get back to bed."
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I had a really hard time falling asleep that night.
I had this weird feeling in my stomach that at that point I was still blaming on the dressing.
I had a good time that night. I liked spending time with Derek's family. I missed how Kathleen could be so completely the opposite of what any good psychologist should be. I missed the way that Derek would roll his eyes every time she spoke. I even missed the way that Evelyn would hide the wine until we were ready to sit down and eat.
But that night I still wasn't ready to admit I was still in love with him.
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It was after 3 by the time I finally made my way up to bed that night. I sat by the tree and stared at the lights for awhile. I started reading a book. I even watched the Yule Log on TV for awhile and the last 37 minutes of A Christmas Story.
I was so restless.
I was plagued by thoughts of Addison and her new hair. I really didn't like it, I don't like change and Addison has always had long hair… long red kinda wavy hair…
But I felt good about having her there. I had someone on my side if my family decided to gang up on me. I knew she'd still be on my side.
But I wasn't ready to admit that I missed her. Not yet.
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All I have to say is that while all this is going on Meredith is just like… *crickets*.
Review if you want to be on my nice list (which is actually the naughty list which is way sexier).
