*Okay, I'm going to try to give this chapter a little more umph. I'm still looking for feedback so bring it on.
House walked into his apartment to the sound of his beeping answering machine. He scrolled through his caller id and didn't see anyone he was interested in hearing from so he deleted all of the messages. He hung his coat up on the rack and his cane on the door frame. Then he looked back at his phone contemplating whether he should call Cuddy or not. He needed time to know what to say and he was at a loss for words. His leg had had a more sharp pain than what he'd felt in a while and ever since he'd started dating Cuddy, she kept a close watch on how much Vicodin he took. He had actually started to cut back a little. Instead of reaching for the prescription bottle, he took the bourbon off the shelf. He spent the night on his couch finishing off the almost empty bottle while watching Korean wrestling.
The next morning he woke up with a stiff neck and a chapped face. His head was aching and every light and sound came in and poked at every vulnerable part of his brain. He looked at his clock which told him he was two hours late for the clinic duty he was ordered to do for the weekend. He tried standing but soon learned that that idea was no good. He sat there with his hands cupped over the back of his neck trying to muster up enough energy to go take a shower.
***
Cuddy watched from her desk as Wilson met up with House outside of the clinic. When they kept walking on towards the elevators, her heart sank a little. She wanted House to show some sort of emotion to her. She couldn't figure him out lately. He kept changing his approach when he wanted to talk to her and she began to feel like she was in a one-sided relationship. She started to involuntarily act negatively towards him and then hate herself for it. She wanted to mend things but she almost felt like there was some reason he was being this way. She kept her guard because she'd seen him act this way before.
The only woman House had ever cared about was his girlfriend of five years. Near the end of that term House had gotten distant the same way he was now. In the end of it all, a terrible break up happened and House never got over it. The only differences between these two situations were that Cuddy and House had only been together for a few months and they had never told each other they loved each other. Cuddy began to fear that House had never been involved in the relationship to begin with and she had made a fool out of herself. Like it was some joke between House and Wilson. Some stupid game like "who can get in her pants first." What if House let it go too far after he won this game. Now he was doing to best he could to let her down easy.
Cuddy didn't want to be used and she hadn't been preparing herself for it. She hated herself for expecting something more of House. She got more and more mad at this until everything she said came off as jerkish and bossy. She wanted to talk to House but felt like she needed an excuse for it.
She looked back down at the pile of paperwork she had and tried to erase House from her thoughts. I wasn't an easy task.
***
House and Wilson walked into an elevator together having said nothing yet.
"So have you talked to Cuddy?" Wilson tried to nonchalantly meddle into House and Cuddy's relationship.
"No." House gave a short reply as he pushed the button for the fourth floor.
"Are you going to?"
"I don't know."
"Seriously? Yesterday you were desperate for help and now you don't even care?"
"Why should I try to fix something I didn't do? Let her be mad at me, I tried and that wasn't good enough for her." House suddenly got very defensive and he had a lot of emotion packed in his voice.
"Do you really think she's that low?" House just turned and looked at him, puzzled. "You obviously did something to make her mad. Come on, it's you. Stop dragging around in your own self pity. This is your own fault no matter what it's about. I know Cuddy can be moody, but I also know she doesn't get angry without just cause. Go fix it."
House racked his brain something to retaliate with but he stopped himself from saying anything.
The elevator door opened and they both began to step out. "House, go do your job." House stayed and pressed the button for the ground level. He went back to the clinic even though his shift would be over in almost half an hour.
***
House checked into the clinic and took a file from the stack. Cuddy walked towards him as he tried not to notice.
"You're late." She attempted to make eye contact but wasn't successful.
"I had a consult."
"No you didn't. You walked in two minutes ago talking to Wilson and if he was the one who wanted the consult, my condolences to the patient's family."
"There's a patient that needs a diagnosis." He raised up the file in his hand to show her. "You're not usually one to hold up that process." His tone was sarcastic as he walked away. Cuddy wanted to follow him. She was angry at him for being himself and at herself for expecting him not to be. She wanted to not care about him and she wanted to be close to him and hear his heart as he held her close. She couldn't read him and be able to tell what changed. He was so involved and he seemed to be just a little bit happier than normal when they first got together and everything changed all of a sudden. She didn't know how or why but it ticked her off. She was never the type to let someone walk all over her and she had spent all the time she'd known House trying to figure him out so he couldn't take advantage of her either. Now he was actually able to get to her. He'd only done that once before when he attacked the one weak spot he knew she had. She had been trying desperately to have a baby and he openly told her she'd be a crappy mother. She began to worry that she had embarrassed herself by thinking that the relationship meant something to him. Now it seemed like he was just in it for sex and to get in her good graces. Then when he saw that he couldn't cloud her judgment and get pointless tests or get out of clinic duty, he no longer saw the purpose of the relationship and started to push her away. She made the decision that if he wasn't in it for real, that she didn't have to be either. Right then was the last moment that she considered House to be her other half. He was just a colleague that got on her nerves.
That night, when Cuddy was finishing up paperwork, she got a call that nearly stopped her heart. She had hardly anything to say to the person on the other line and sat there in awe. Her eyes turned slightly redder and their moisture slightly increased; that was all the reaction she could give.
***
It had gotten dark outside and the rain had finally stopped. Cuddy looked at the floor as she walked through the various halls in the hospital. She stopped at a glass door and looked inside. She saw a still Dr. House staring at the things on his desk. She walked in only a few steps past the doorway. She held her hands at her waist and messed with her thumbs.
"House." House looked at her letting that be the signal that she should go on. "It's my dad." House's gaze softened as her breathing became more unsteady and she began to tear up.
