Whoa! I see many of you were really eager to read ahead of The Brooke. I'm glad that you all have been so interested in this story of Ana, Christian and Christopher that it has come so far. Really wanted to thank you.

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Disclaimer : I do not own the characters of this story but the plot-line is completely mine.

2.

Christian

I couldn't explain how much I regretted walking away from her.

I felt like I let her down somehow.

Her entire life people have left her on her own.

Her parents when they died in a car crash.

Her aunt, who was supposed to be her guardian.

Even her own very dear best friend Mia.

Then of course, there was my beloved brother Christopher.

And now me.

Every day I spent with her, every thought that crossed my mind continued to make me feel like I'm the biggest bastard alive.

But last night? No words are enough to describe what I did.

I was just so angry.

Angry that I couldn't spend five minutes with her without making her remind of my brother and his betrayal.

That I couldn't speak with her for two minutes without arguing about the Brooke.

That I couldn't kiss her for even a minute without doubting if it was me she was really kissing or just a shadow of my twin brother.

Never had I ever hated my face, my appearance like this before.

I wanted to smash myself against a mirror or get severe burns that would force me to have a plastic surgery.

Maybe if I looked different it would make things clearer.

About what Anastasia wanted and what she really felt.

Many at times I was tempted to try out this ridiculously reckless idea.

But I didn't want anyone to know that Anastasia held that kind of power over me.

One where I was seconds away from breaking down and going into a phase of self-harming insanity.

No, I refused anyone to see my weakness.

Especially Anastasia herself.

Because come to think of it, why would she even care about me when all she could think of is rescuing Christopher? The man who left her.

The man who is also my brother. My very own blood.

And here I was, hating him for a girl. A girl I was deeply infatuated with. Possibly more than infatuated.

I should hate her not my brother. He was out there, trapped God knows where and instead of helping him I was sulking like a child.

Hating Ana... yeah like that was so easy.

I could never hate her.

Not even she pulls the trigger to kill me.

This girl had sunk so deep under my skin that I would happily give her my life if she asked for it, without thinking twice.

Fuck! I was so pussy-whipped.

Yet I didn't know what to do.

I knew what I should do.

Go to the Brooke, save Christopher, protect Anastasia and come back.

But it was much, much more dangerous than it sounded.

And it wasn't hard to guess that I wasn't really worried about going to the Brooke.

Given that I still didn't remember being there or anything about that place, I should be pissing my pants from the stories Jose and Anastasia have told me.

Believe me, I was terrified. Just not for me, but for Ana.

Which was why I had decided she wouldn't be going there.

My only motive to drag this trip was so that Mia could distract her somehow during the summer.

Maybe they both could take a vacation in Bahamas or Barbados.

Meanwhile Jose and I could tackle the Brooke issue.

With Anastasia being far away from the danger, it would be one less thing for me to worry about.

Although I knew if Ana got even the slightest bit of suspicious, I probably wouldn't live long enough to worry about the Brooke.

It didn't feel so great to lie to her about all this, keep her in the dark.

Actually, it felt downright horrible. At times I would feel so guilty that I almost gave into telling her on more than one occasion.

The only solution was to change the topic or physically remove myself.

Like that last night.

I wanted to tell her so bad when she told me about going all ninja on BMHS from today onwards.

But if I told her, it wasn't just my funeral. It was Jose's and Mia's too.

They too were struggling to keep secrets from Ana.

I knew if Anastasia found out that all three of us were keeping her in dark, she would feel really hurt.

But she had to understand we were trying our best to protect her.

We cared about her so much that we refused to see her go back into that hell-hole she barely survived last time.

"Rise and shine lover-boy." Jose's work disrupted me from my broodings.

I turned to look at him as he came to sit down next to me on the couch I was lying on.

His couch.

Last night after walking away from Anastasia's room, I crashed here.

Her test was going to end in another half an hour, but I still didn't want to face her.

Well, that's a first.

"What do you want, Jose?" I groaned. I was so not into the mood of mingling with anyone.

"To know why are you acting like you are PMS-ing."

I glared at him.

"Ah! Let me guess. Anastasia brought up the big elephant again. I told you, she's feisty. She won't sit until she gets what she wants."

Oh Anastasia was feisty all right. In ways more than Jose would know.

And you know that better than Christopher?

Fuck! That stung. I was at war with my own mind.

"It's not about what she wants, man. She has been through too much already. I can't let her go there again."

"I'm sure that is exactly why you are keeping her on a leash."

The way he said it made me doubt his tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"That you really care about her safety and it's got nothing to do with your insecurities."

My what?

"What the fuck you're talking about?"

"You don't want her to go there because you fear there might be some chance of Ana and Christopher reuniting while you'll feel like the jealous third wheeler."

I opened my mouth to tell him that he had lost his bloody mind but the words wouldn't come out.

I thought over it for a moment. Was he correct?

Am I that big of a rascal?

My mouth snapped shut.

"Look Grey, I get it you are worried for her. But Anastasia is a big girl. She survived the Brooke and Pinnacle Race through and through. Not only that, she made sure others survived it too. I am alive because of her. So trust me, if anyone can go there and kick their asses, it's her."

Wow. Never thought Jose would make sense.

"As for your insecurities," he continued. "Grow up fucktard! Since when did you start pouting like a chick? You're Christian Grey, the biggest selfish prick. You gonna lose your girl over just like that? Bloody fight for her idiot!"

I was pretty sure I could kiss Jose right now.

His words were exactly what I needed to hear.

Anastasia was mine. I would protect her from each and every monster in her closet and outside the closet.

I would kill for her.

I would die for her.

And I would certainly fight for her.

I got up with renewed energy, ready to take on the world, go begging on my knees to Ana and make myself worthy enough to deserve her.

"Hey wait. I need to discuss something important with you." Jose stopped me.

"What?"

"It's kinda' related to the Brooke."

That caught my attention. I sat back on the couch, next to him.

"I found another victim. One from our batch."

I frowned. "Okayyy… "

"Christian, he was with us. Me and Anastasia, in the Pinnacle Race."

My brows shot up. "Really? I thought you said everyone died expect you, her and Christopher."

He nodded in agreement. "I know. I have no idea how he is alive. He doesn't remember anything though, just like you. But he seems more... disturbed."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yes I did. But I didn't mention anything about the Brooke. If he remembered he would've recognized me."

"Who is he?"

"Brandon McGregor. Lives in New Orleans. College drop-out."

"Hmm. Maybe we all can visit him. He could tell us how he survived."

"Or Anastasia might also know something." He suggested.

"I mean I told you everything in detail as far as I knew what happened. But after the landslide, all we know is that Christopher threw her into the glass chambers. Anastasia needs to tell us what exactly happened."

I had a pretty good guess. Whatever happened was damn ugly.

I witnessed it every night in her screams.

Anastasia having night mares was nothing new. She used have them before remembering everything as well.

But they used to be rare. Now it had become a regularity.

Moreover she never had same dreams. Before, there used to be a pattern of her screams, her words and the timing.

Now it could happen anytime in the night after she went sleep. Her screams were always like fresh wound and her words always different.

Sometimes she used to beg and plead. Other times she would curse and yell.

The worst was when she would beg to die. To kill her.

That wasn't common, thankfully. But when it happened, it felt like a knife in my gut being twisted.

The Anastasia Steele I knew would never quit. Never give up.

Something so terrible had happened to her there in the final level that she wanted to die.

I couldn't help but think if it was due to my brother.

A new type of hatred blossom in my chest right before it diminished.

I couldn't hate my brother for something I didn't know.

Heck I missed him. As hard as that was to believe, I did miss him.

He was my twin brother. From our mother's womb to our boxers, we had shared everything together.

Been through it all together.

He was my twin brother. My twin soul.

And suddenly one day he went all missing. No one knew what happened to him.

I had to go on without him like he never existed.

For past four years I had to pretend to be the single child, always wondering why the fuck he ran away.

Only to know now that he never did run away.

We were both called at Brooke Mountain High School. Lured into full scholarship programs.

The only difference was he was selected for the Pinnacle Race while I wasn't.

That was where he met Anastasia and Jose.

Somehow they survived the Pinnacle Race but he didn't come back like them.

Instead I did. When I wasn't supposed to. The others like me, those who went to BMHS but not in the Pinnacle Race, no one knew what had happened to them.

That was supposed to be my fate.
But somehow, here I was. Living an almost normal life until I had met Anastasia.

She had crashed my world in more than just one way.

But the mystery of how I had survive the Brooke remained in suspense.

And probably would until I remember everything.

Or maybe Ana knew something that could help us solve this puzzle.

Jose was right she needed to talk.

But I wasn't sure if she was ready to. Especially after our fight last night.

I hated fighting with Ana. Sometimes our stubbornness would catch up with us and we might argue but it had never been this bad.

You shouldn't have left her.

Dammit! How could one small action make you so remorseful?

I needed to find her and I needed to apologize.

And I knew exactly how to start with it.

Anastasia was sitting in the middle of her bed when I entered our room.

Correction, her room. Her dorm room.

I was just the unwanted annoying roommate here who would leave this beautiful girl in the middle of an argument.

Her laptop was on the bed, displaying something she was so deeply intrigued with that she didn't even see me coming.

Or maybe she did see and ignored me.

Guess I deserve that.

Still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

And it hurt like a bitch.

"Hey!" I said.

She didn't even look up from her laptop when she replied me stoically. "Hey."

I scratched the back of my head, out of nervousness.

The Christian-version would be to hang out with her. Pretend like last night didn't happen and charm my way out of her.

The Anastasia-version would be to skim through the bullshit and just get to the point.

I guess I could try a combination of both, starting by assessing the damage.

"So how did your test go? It was Finance, right?" I asked. (Christian-version)

"Business Studies. Fine." She replied in a clipped tone.

Okay, so that failed.

Here goes the Anastasia-version. "On the scale of one to ten, how much upset are you from me?"

I braced myself, ready to hear a hundred or a thousand. But when she answered it was nothing I had expected.

"I'm not upset from you." She could have said 'a million' and still not break me as much as she did by saying that.

Because she fucking lied.

Anastasia hated liars and she was extremely horrible at lying.

She was the blunt, straightforward, no-bullshit girl. Her casually cruel honesty was one of her alluring qualities.

Not that she had any repulsive trait within her.

But right here when she lied, it made me realize how really upset she was.

She chose lying rather than wanting to deal with me.

I was an ass. A fuckwit. A rascal, a bastard. No amount of cussing was enough for what I had done last night.

But I was determined to make up for it and I will make up for it.

"Can I start by apologizing?" I asked in an awfully small voice.

You're turning into a full on pussy-whipped bitch, Grey.

"There's nothing to apologize for, Christian."

One, she still didn't look at me.

Two, she lied again. That was twice now.

Three, she called me Christian, not C.

If I didn't know better, I would've said that she was doing all this deliberately. To hurt me.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and placed the cardboard box I had bought on her laptop.

Her attention diverted over my making- up-start-gift.

It was a hot-dog. From Doggy Dogg's. Chicken, extra spicy with ketchup and mustard. Exactly how she liked it.

She looked up at me. Her first curling the box like she was about to throw it at my face.

"You can't always do that. You can't always cover your fuck-ups buying me hot-dogs."

There was once a time when hearing Ana curse would widen everyone's eyes.

Now the naivety, the innocence, it was all gone from her face and her eyes.

Instead of them were deep dark shadows. Clouding her beautiful grey eyes almost into a darker, much sadder shade.

It used to excite me how the grey color of her eyes matched exactly the shade of my flecks.

Now her grey had turned much darker, ever since she woke up in the hospital remembering every torture that had been inflicted on her in the Brooke.

Her face had aged with all the traumas she remembered that she had lived through.

Though it didn't lessen her beauty. Anastasia was still the most beautiful sight I've ever laid my eyes on.

Brunette perms bounced against her soft creamy skin as she looked at me with annoyance.

Her heart shaped face contorted into disappointment, high cheek bones highlighting her frustration, soft pink lips pulled down in an attempt to hide the hurt.

The hurt that I caused her.

Fuck! A sharp pain passed through my chest cavity, squeezing the life out of my lungs.

Suddenly breathing was impossible.

I dropped to my knees next to her bed. My head leveling with her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I'm sorry I walked onto you. I regretted it the moment I did that."

She looked at me with such a vulnerable expressions. I had this sudden surge.

All I wanted was to say 'fuck it' and kiss the life out of her until she felt better.

Controlling myself (which was damn next to impossible) I grabbed her face gently in my hands.

"I'm sorry babe. I really am."

"You promised you won't ever leave me C. Yet you did. Just because we were arguing, you walked out. How could I trust you to be with me in bigger situations?" She asked.

A misty layer forming over her suddenly glistening eyes, tearing my heart into pieces.

Leaning over, I pressed my lips to her forehead. "I swear on my life that I won't ever let go of you Anastasia Steele. And I will prove it to you. I will fix this. I'm not him."

We both knew him was referred to Christopher.

One of the silent fears of Ana was me leaving her alone. Just like my brother.

And I had made her doubt her fears. I truly hated myself at that moment.

Wiping the wetness from her eyes, I kept our foreheads joined together.

"I won't ever leave you babe. I promise you that."

She nodded as I grabbed her hand, squeezing it tighter.

She could squeeze as hard as she wanted to, a long as she never released it.

Sadly, never ended right there.

She turned back to her laptop, a cute little smile playing on her lips while she fumbled with her hot dog.

"Thanks for this. Maybe you could buy me more than one when you mess up next time."

"Duly noted." I replied.

She displayed her full smile making my breath stutter. Then she jumped into eating her favorite snack while moaning in appreciation.

Moments like these were outright tortuous for me where I yearned to do her things that would have her moaning like she was right now from a stupid hot dog.

In an attempt to distract my mind from those luscious thoughts and deflate the tightness forming in my pants, I took notice of the site opened on her laptop.

It looked vaguely familiar.

"What are you up to Ana?" I questioned, jerking my head towards the screen.

"Oh, you remember that day in the park? When I defeated Jose in chess?"

The day when things began to get suspicious. Of course I remembered.

It was also the day when Ana had kissed me consciously for the first time.

I nodded to her in confirmation.

"We were searching for whatever we could find about the Brooke." She continued.

At that time, we hadn't known the depth of what we were truly after.

We were watching Jose and my ex-roommate Troy play chess in the campus park when all of sudden, Anastasia intervened and defeated Jose.

The shocking thing was before that incident Anastasia didn't even know how to play chess.

She had gotten a panic attack right after the game and managed to mumble out 'The Brooke' just before passing out.

Later that day we had searched whatever we could find out about the Brooke.

Needless to say, we got nothing.

"Yeah but we didn't find anything useful. The place doesn't even exist on maps, Ana."

She shook her head. "Wrong. We did find something. Remember the blogger whose friend was attacked just like me? And now she is committed away?"

I did remember it now that she had mentioned it.

We had read an article of the blogger sharing the story of her friend.

The friend had begun having nightmares, panic attacks in daylight and delusions. She used to scream about 'The Brooke' and 'The Pinnacle Race' but no one listened to her.

One day she started screaming in the middle of her class "I remember" repeatedly. The teacher told her to leave the class and she was found bleeding from her head injury at the end of the day near the swimming pool of the school.

No one knew what had happened to her.

What gutted me here was how Ana had referred to this as "just like me".

What happened to that girl and Ana was exactly the same.

Ana had feared the outcome would be like this. And it did happen to her. Jack had hit her with a rod on her head.

Another one of her fears that had come true.

I had failed to protect her.

But Anastasia was an amazingly strong woman.

She had better control over her emotions and the situation. She wasn't stated as mentally unstable of anything.

Also, I had believed in her. Jose helped her too.

Then there was the fact that I had seen Jack disappear into the thin air right in front of me when I was beating the carp out of him.

Suffice to say Anastasia hadn't ended up in an asylum like this anonymous girl.

"So what's your take on it?" I asked her.

"I think I should visit this girl. She might be able to tell us more than we know about the Brooke. So I have been in contact with the blogger and she just dropped the address of the hospital the girl is in. It's in Elgin, Illinois."

"Alright. Seems like a good idea, though your trip to Illinois would need to wait."

She turned to me with a frown on her face. "Don't give me another excuse to delay this now C. 'Cause you're about to get punched."

My hand went to my right jaw reflexively. I winced, still sore from the punch she had delivered the previous night.

"I think once in a lifetime is enough." I joked lightly.

Ana cringed apologetically. "That one wasn't meant for you.. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sor-"

"Don't." I cut her off in a firm voice. "Don't apologize for it. I told you it's fine. I was just kidding."

She looked like she wanted to say more so I changed the track again.

"Anyway I wasn't saying to delay it. Just that we might to need to visit New Orleans first."

"New Orleans? Why?"

"Jose found something too. Or rather someone. This guy, he was in BMHS too. From our batch, went in the Pinnacle Race as well."

Ana instantly paled. Blood drained from her quickly. Eyes went so wide as if they were about to pop out.

At once I was at her side, sitting next to her, grabbing her shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?"

She nodded. Then shook her head. Then nodded again. Her breaths coming shorter and faster.

"Ana, babe you're scaring me. What's wrong?" I asked again.

"Please tell me it's not Cody. That his name isn't Cody." She pleaded, looking terrified. Fine tremors shook her body.

Who the fuck was this Cody fucker?

I wanted to ask but thought this might not be the ideal time.

"It's not him. He's not Cody. Calm down, babe. I got you. I won't let anyone hurt you."

She obeyed me. Some of the tension leaving her body as she closed her eyes and tried to relax.
When she opened them again she had stopped shaking. Her face gaining back some of the color.

"Sorry about that." She said, embarrassed.

"You apologize one more time, I'm burning away all the hot dogs of Atlanta. Possibly the whole of Georgia."

That brought a dazzling smile to her face. "You can't do that."

"Try me." I said with a smirk to which Ana only rolled her eyes at.

"Okay so if it's not Cody then who is it?"

I dipped closer as I answered her, wanting to see her reaction closely.

"Brandon. Brandon McGregor."


Do not take a bath before reading the next upcoming chapter. You'll be badly needing a cold shower after reading some intense action between Ana & Christian. By the way, how is your reaction to the news of Brandon's survival? I kinda' liked him so I'm happy e is alive. what about you guys?

REVIEW and let me know. Also what is the SONG SUGGESTION for this chapter?

Love ya all,

Kaishi Springs xoxo