Chapter 2
Buffy woke up still wrapped up in Spike's arms just after twelve that next day. She couldn't believe that all of this hadn't been some dream. She actually woke up to being held in Spike's arms and not alone like she expected. This wasn't a dream; she had truly found out that Spike is alive after all of these months. That he had spent six months in hell being tortured only to spend another two months in the hospital afterwards trying to recover. Buffy noticed now that she was awake and curled up against Spike that he was really thin. She noticed it last night, but actually feeling it like this she knew she had to try and get Spike to eat more to get his body weight back up. She also noticed that he was colder than normal. He was never hot, but he was always warm, warmer than a usual vampire for some reason. This morning his body was cold a clear sign that he wasn't getting enough blood. Buffy looked up to see Spike looking down on her. She could tell that he didn't sleep last night. He was looking more worn out than he did last night and Buffy knew it was only going to get worse before she was able to get him better. She brought her right hand up slowly and gently placed it against his left cheek.
"I was expecting to wake up and have all of this be a dream." Buffy said softly.
"I know the feeling." Spike said softly back.
"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked as she brought her hand back down and curled into Spike's chest more.
"I'm fine."
"I know you are not fine Spike. I told you it's ok to not be fine right now. This is a lot for you. Angel's team told me how you haven't even been outside since you've been in the apartment. I know this is a lot for you to take in plus getting on a plane later. It's important that if you are feeling anxious or scared you need to tell me so I can help you move past it. I want you to be honest with me Spike."
"I feel okay right now. I don't know about later. I've never been on a plane before or around that many people since being back."
Buffy could hear the slight anxiety in Spike's voice as he thought about what was going to happen today. Buffy sat up and turned slightly so she could look right at Spike.
"Hey listen to me. We will get through this. I know it's scary there are a lot of people and noises and it's bright. All you have to do is make it on the plane and then it'll get easier. Once we arrive we can go right to the apartment and hide from everyone. We can worry about the rest tomorrow. Let's just get to London today."
"Where am I staying?"
"I was hoping you would be living with me in the apartment, but if that isn't something you want to do we can set you up in a room if you want." Buffy said trying to hide the hurt in her voice.
"I just didn't want to impose Luv."
"I want you there Spike. I've missed you so much. I know the others will want to see you, but I kinda want to be selfish and hide you up in the apartment with me and never leave the bed. Being curled up in bed with you all day sounds really good to me."
"Sounds like heaven." Spike said softly as he looked at Buffy and Buffy knew he was still shocked that all of this was happening.
"I want you to remember something really important."
"What's that Pet?"
"That I love you. I mean it Spike I love you and I don't care what anyone says or thinks. It's not going to change my mind. We'll get through this together." Buffy said in a serious voice as she sat half up and used her left hand to hold her up as she looked down at Spike.
Spike let out a sigh before he got up and off of the bed. He started to pace over to the dresser and Buffy sat up in the bed. She was instantly worried that Spike was having second thoughts about leaving and being with her.
"Spike talk to me."
Spike let out a breath before he turned around and leaned against the dresser. He put his hands down on the edge and he didn't really look at Buffy as he spoke.
"You love who I was before I died. I don't know if I can be that person anymore." Spike said softly.
Buffy got up and out of bed. She went over to Spike and placed her hand on his chin as he was looking down. She gently lifted it up as she spoke.
"Look at me baby." Buffy said softly.
Spike lifted his head to look at Buffy and Buffy could see the hurt and fear in his blue eyes.
"I love you Spike. I don't love you because you can fight. I love you because you love me unconditionally. That even after everything we have done to each other you have always been there to have my back. You don't give up, you are loyal, and sweet. You have a good heart and soul. I love your smile and the banter we have together. I love who you are. Being able to fight isn't going to tip the scales. I don't expect you to be fine with everything. I know it's going to take time and I know you might never find it in you to fight. That's okay. I still love you."
Spike let out a shaky breath before he spoke.
"I love you. I always will. I love having your back and watching your back in the field, but I don't know if I can."
"And that's ok. I just want you in my life. You don't have to be in the field fighting Spike. And don't let anyone pressure you to be there. You've done more than enough for this world; it's okay to not be fighting anymore. It's okay to not be okay."
"Everything is so hard right now. It shouldn't be this hard."
"You were in Hell Spike for six months. It's going to be hard until you get used to being back and you get passed it."
"It shouldn't be hard, it's not like I didn't deserve what happened after all of the evil I've caused."
"Hey no. You didn't do those things a demon did and there is a difference. You are not that person anymore you are a good man. You got tortured to protect my sister from a Hell God. You died saving the world. You didn't deserve what happened to you. You didn't deserve to be in Hell. It's going to be hard until you get back into a routine and be back home where you belong. We'll get through this together Spike." Buffy said in a serious voice.
"I love you. I just don't want to hurt you or disappoint you." Spike said sadly.
"As long as you don't give up then you never will. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I really want to kiss you right now." Buffy said with a smile.
Spike gave her a small smile as he moved a shaky hand to her right side of the face. He slowly moved his mouth over to hers and pressed his lips softly to hers. Buffy pushed back and she allowed Spike to have complete control over the kiss. She didn't want to pressure him or push him too much. She was more than willing to wait until Spike was ready to go further. Spike slowly deepened the kiss and Buffy felt his tongue lick her lower lip. She parted her mouth for him and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her mouth as his tongue entered her mouth. Buffy couldn't believe how amazing it felt to be kissing him again and she couldn't believe she went so long without kissing him. After a moment Spike pulled back with one last kiss to Buff's lips. Spike kept his hand on Buffy's cheek as he spoke.
"I thought about you all the time. You were my small peace of Heaven, that light in the darkness. I never thought I would get to kiss you again. That I would get to hold you or even see you. I thought all I was ever going to have again were the memories. And now you're here and it all seems like this dream."
"I know what you mean. I've missed you every day. When I died you told me that you dreamt every night that you saved my life. I didn't really understand then, but I do now. I did the same thing. I kept dreaming of different ways to get you out of that basement. That I could save you. Now here you are and I can't believe I have missed three months with you. I would have been there Spike, every day just waiting for you to wake up. Been there to help you heal."
"It's not your fault Luv. I know you didn't know. We're together now that's what matters."
"You're right this is what matters. So what do you want to do?" Buffy asked with a smile.
"I don't care."
"What do you normally do during the day?"
"Watch the telly or pace around. Had enough sunshine to last me an eternity." Spike joked lightly.
"Well we can go curl back up in bed or we could go and see Xander. Get something to eat."
"It's up to you Luv."
"Well I could eat something and you definitely need to eat something. You're barely eating anything." Buffy said with worry in her voice.
"I'm fine Luv." Spike said with a shrug.
"You're only eating enough to survive. You need to gain some strength back Spike. Even if you aren't in the field fighting you need to be able to defend yourself. I can't lose you again."
"You won't. I'll try to eat more it just takes a little while to get back into it."
"I know and I know it's only been a month for you. We'll get you back up there. Are you okay if we go to Xander's room or have him come here and we can get some breakfast up here?"
"It doesn't matter to me." Spike simply said.
"Well I will call him and he can come over here and we can order us some food. We have to leave at four to get to the airport. I'll talk to Dawn later to see if she is going to pick us up. Is that okay?"
"I guess that depends if she drives like you do or not." Spike said jokingly.
"Hey I am not that bad. And how would you know we've never been in a car together?" Buffy asked with a smile.
"I've heard the stories Luv."
"Ya well you can ask Xander how she drives, he taught her. I've been told though that she is very good." Buffy said as she picked up her phone and called Xander.
"Hey Buffster." Xander said with an awake voice.
"Hey, I didn't know if you'd eaten yet."
"Nope just got out of the shower. Do you want to grab some lunch?"
"Yes food would be awesome. Why don't you come over here and we can order something up." Buffy suggested.
"Works for me I'll be right there."
"K see you in a few."
Buffy ended the call and smiled at Spike.
"He just got out of the shower he'll be here in a few minutes. It's probably too early to call Dawnie right now."
"It's evening over there Luv." Spike said gently.
"Oh right time change. So it'll be midnight this time when we land in London that would make it what like four?" Buffy asked confused.
"Five." Spike corrected.
"I'm so sick of time changes. Wait are you going to be okay at five in the morning?" Buffy asked with worry.
"I'll be fine Luv. Sunrise will still be an hour or more away and unless London weather has changed in the last seventy years it will probably be raining."
"Ya, no it still rains a lot. Or it's cloudy. I get that Giles is from London and that is where the original Watcher's Council was, but you would think he would have picked a more sunshine friendly country. Vampires can come out during the day when it rains or it's cloudy. We seriously need to consider having a squad of Slayers out during the day."
There was a knock on the door before Spike could say anything to it and Buffy went to open it to let Xander in. He smiled at Buffy and then at Spike when he walked into the room. He had a small brown bag in his hand and he pulled something out as he spoke.
"I couldn't sleep last night so I went out and picked up a couple of packages of blood." Xander said as he held up a package of blood. "Thought maybe you would be hungry."
"Ta Mate." Spike said.
Buffy took the bag of blood from Xander and she put it into the fridge once she removed on of the packages of blood. She got it into a mug and started to warm it up while Xander spoke.
"So food, what are we eating?"
"I don't know. The menu is over there on the desk." Buffy said as she pointed to the menu.
Xander went over and grabbed the hotel menu and began to look through it.
"See I don't know what to get. I just got up so I want breakfast, but it's noon so it's technically lunch time." Xander said.
"They serve breakfast all day." Buffy said as the microwave beeped. She took the mug out and went over to hand it over to Spike with a smile.
Spike took the mug and gave a small smile of thanks in return.
"I know, but then it just screws up the rest of the day, because when it's time for dinner it'll be lunch. I hate time changes." Xander grumbled.
"So do I. Spike reminded me a few minutes ago how it will actually be five in the morning when we land and not midnight like we thought." Buffy said.
"Oh shit, is that going to be ok?" Xander asked with slight concern.
"It'll be fine sunrise won't be for another hour after the plane lands." Spike said.
"I thought I would call Dawn and see if she wants to pick us up." Buffy said.
"She'll do it. You know she is going to be spending the day running around making sure every is set up for when we get there." Xander said with a smile.
"I'll call her after we order some food. I guess it would be bad to eat ice cream." Buffy said with a smile.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Xander said with a smile.
"Ice cream and cold pizza for breakfast. Giles thought we were crazy." Buffy said with a smile.
"Isn't that a normal teenager thing?" Spike said.
"Ya except it was like seven months ago. We lost power to the facility and the freezer food was gonna go bad. We ended up eating ice cream and left over pizza from the night before at like six in the morning. Giles was not pleased by it." Xander said.
"He really didn't like it when Dawn put the ice cream on top of her pizza." Buffy said with a smile.
"She has always had an acquired taste." Spike said remembering how Dawn used to make random food combinations when he was looking after her after Buffy's death.
"Ya that hasn't gone away fully. But it did lead us to the fabulous invention of ice cream pizza. There's a big cookie crust with ice cream on top and sprinkles. So good." Buffy said with a smile.
"And people make comments about my eating habits." Spike said lightly.
"Ya ok there Mr. Cookieaholic." Buffy said with a smile.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Spike said innocently.
"You are totally addicted to cookies, of any kind. I've seen you dip Oreo's in blood." Buffy said with a smile.
"Eww. No it's supposed to go into milk." Xander said.
"I can't drink milk." Spike said.
"Really? Is that like a I hate milk from being human thing or a I can't drink milk cause it turns to dust in my mouth vampire thing?" Buffy asked.
"When I was human milk wasn't produced the same way it is now. It was a lot more work and harder. When I was six I got really bad food poisoning from drinking a glass of milk. I was in the hospital for two weeks with it. They thought I was going to die. After that we never had milk in the house and I just don't drink it. Then I became a vampire and now I only drink blood and whiskey."
"See I don't get that. You eat other food, but Angel refused to." Buffy said.
"He never ate? Like ever?" Xander asked.
"No he said he was a vampire and they don't eat." Buffy said.
"The majority don't eat. It doesn't do anything for us, it won't keep us alive. I like to eat, I'm gonna be around for hundreds of years I want to experience it. No point in being around if you aren't going to live it." Spike said.
"Well that makes sense." Xander said.
"Ok food time. What are you getting?" Buffy asked.
"Screw it I'm getting breakfast. Tell them I'll have the number four."
"Ok" Buffy picked up the phone and looked at Spike as she dialed. "Do you want something?"
"I'm good Luv. Haven't gotten back into eating."
"You've only had blood these last few months?" Buffy asked shocked as Spike usually ate normal food every day.
"It's only technically been a month Luv." Spike said gently.
"I know, but still usually you would eat every day." Buffy said with concern.
"Just haven't gotten back into it yet is all. It's nothing to worry about Luv." Spike said calmly.
"Ok" Buffy said as the attendant on the other end picked up.
Buffy put in their orders for Xander's breakfast and her bacon, cheese burger with fries. With it ordered she put the phone back down and pulled out her cell phone.
"I'll give Dawn a call and let her know what's going on." Buffy said as she dialed Dawn's number.
"Spike man, I don't know if you need one but I bought you a pack of smokes. The smoking area out back is all covered in shade right now." Xander said with a smile as he held the pack of cigarettes in his hand.
"Ta Mate. Don't suppose you have a light?" Spike asked as he took the smokes.
"I actually have your lighter. It's in my coat pocket." Buffy said as she pointed to her jacket. "Ya hang on a sec Dawnie." Buffy said to Dawn as she answered.
"You kept my lighter?" Spike asked surprised as he went over to Buffy's coat to get his lighter.
"Ya. You gave it to me the day of the battle. You said just in case it would give me something to remember you by. You didn't think I would throw it away after all this time did you?" Buffy asked slightly hurt.
"I didn't know what you were going to do with it Luv. I didn't think that far ahead."
"I always have it in my pocket no matter where I go. I had a piece of you with me no matter where I went." Buffy said honestly.
Spike held the lighter in his hands and just looked at Buffy. He didn't even know what to say to that. He didn't know what to say to any of this. He never thought he would ever get out of Hell and now here he was in a hotel room with Buffy and Xander going back to London with them. It was a lot to take in and he didn't even know how he felt about any of it. Spike just gave a nod and both Xander and Buffy could tell he was having a hard time with it all and they couldn't blame him after everything he had been through.
"Go have a smoke. I'll get Dawn all set up." Buffy said with a smile.
"Right ya." Spike said snapping himself out of it as he headed for the door with the spare room key.
Buffy looked at Xander and it was all he needed before he was speaking and following behind Spike.
"I'll come with you. I could use some fresh air."
They both knew it was a lie, but Spike wasn't going to call him out on it. If he was honest he didn't want to be outside alone in a place he didn't know anyone. He didn't want to have to talk to someone he didn't know or be overcrowded. With Xander there he would work as a buffer for him. They got outside and there were a few people out there smoking. Spike headed for an empty corner in the blocked off square and he stood there with his back against the corner so he could see everyone as he worked on getting out a smoke. Xander didn't make a comment about it at all. He understood that Spike was going to have problems. He could handle it. He had handled having Spike around in his basement when he was first chipped and then he lived with him for a few weeks in his apartment after getting his soul. He could handle Spike and what appeared to be PTSD of some sort. Xander knew that Spike was a demon and he had killed thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people in the time he was evil. Still to him it didn't seem fair that Spike had saved the world, had helped them save the world previous times before. He could live for another thousand years saving innocent lives and the world only to still end up in Hell when he dies. It didn't seem fair to him, especially because the demon killed those people and not the soul, not the man attached to the soul. It just seemed cruel to Xander that no matter how many good deeds Spike has and would do in his life that it wouldn't be for anything in the end.
Xander watched as Spike's hands were trembling as he tried to get his lighter to work. After a few tries he was able to get it going long enough for him to be able to light his smoke.
"Are you okay? You're hands are shaking." Xander asked with concern.
"Oh it's nothing. They do that, some things just haven't healed up quite yet. It's nothing." Spike said with a slight fear to his voice that Xander knew wasn't directed towards him, but the fact that Spike wasn't healed up yet. That Spike didn't know just how long it would take to go back to normal.
"Well you've only got out of the hospital a month ago. You can't be in perfect health that quick Spike. It'll take time, but hey you're a vampire so you have all the time in the world. How are you feeling about going to London? You're from London right?" Xander asked looking to change the topic and get Spike to feel a little more relaxed.
"I am. I haven't been back there in three decades. I suppose it's all different now."
"I'm not real sure what it is like. I was there for three months, but I didn't get to really see anything. I was too busy working on the facility and then the rooming facility that I didn't get the chance to look around. Once it was done we were all being sent away."
"Who sent everyone away?" Spike asked trying to get a feel for the situation he was going to be walking into.
"Giles. Willow had her Wicca friends locate where all of the potential Slayers were and then the new turned Slayers. Believe it or not we still have potential Slayers too. They will become Slayers, but their like five or six years old so they haven't unlocked their powers yet. The youngest Slayer we have is twelve. Giles said we needed to locate all of the new Slayers and keep a close eye on the potentials for when they grow into their powers. Buffy got England and Willow and Kennedy got Italy, Faith got the States and I got Africa."
"Did you get stuck with the short straw?" Spike asked trying to joke about the situation, it made him uncomfortable with the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach.
"No I offered to go."
"Why?" Spike asked with genuine curiosity.
"Honestly because of you. You travelled all the way to Africa to get your soul. You went through torture that could have killed you just so you could get your soul and keep Buffy and Dawn safe from your demon. I wanted to see what it was like for you there. Plus that night when we stayed up just talking a week after you moved in with me after your soul. You told me all about how the safari animals were roaming around in their natural habitat. How the villages are so starved for proper food and safe water. You told me how you helped them out with building homes after you got your soul. How they gave you blood to keep you going. You died saving the world and I wanted to honor what you did by going back there and helping out. So I found Slayers and I told them the same story over and over again. And between finding them I had brought my tools with me and I helped to build homes, a hospital and a school over there. We were able to find some more clean water and I was able to help build a village basically. I wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for you." Xander said honestly.
Spike gave a genuine smile to Xander as he spoke.
"It was good that you did that. It's a different world over there and it can be really hard being there. There were a few little kiddies that died while I was there. It can be hard to be around knowing you can't do anything to fix it."
"Ya there were a few things over there that I'll never be able to forget. They need a lot of help more than one person can give. I'd like to get my company up and running and get volunteers to go over there and help out. Just think what they could do if they had professionals there to give them piping for water or even proper equipment to get to the water. I'd really like to try and make a difference for them."
"It's honorable work, it's important work. You should be proud for what you've done for them. I really am sorry about Anya. I know you loved her."
"It was really hard at first. It's still hard. I can't imagine going out on a date just yet, even though it's been nine months. You know back when we found out you had been in love with Drusilla for over a century I used to think it was impossible and completely insane to be in love that long. I couldn't imagine it. But then I fell in love with Anya and a century didn't seem long enough. I hope she died at least knowing that I loved her and that I always will." Xander said sadly.
"She knew Mate. She loved you and she knew you loved her. I know it doesn't help, but she died fighting, she died saving the world. She didn't die from being attacked or sick. She died being a warrior and after being alive for over twelve hundred years she finally got to experience true love and happiness. She's up there in the clouds with Glinda and Joyce lookin' down on everyone. She'd be proud of you too." Spike said sincerely.
"Thanks Spike." Xander said around the lump in his throat.
"So this whole Slayer thing, how many do you have?" Spike asked trying to change the topic for Xander.
"Um about four hundred full Slayers and there's another two hundred potential Slayers that we're watching. We also have two hundred full Watchers that are working with two Slayers each and another hundred or so getting trained for the new Slayers."
"Don't you ever wonder… you know what never mind it's none of my business." Spike said as he put his cigarette butt into the can and started to head back inside.
"Whoa hold up. What were you gonna say?" Xander asked stopping Spike before he could go anywhere.
"It's nothing it's none of my business." Spike said and Xander could hear it in his voice that he was afraid to voice his opinion on this. Something Spike had never had a problem doing before.
"It is your business. Spike you're going to be there and around them. It's your business to know things and ask questions. No one is going to get upset, at least I'm not I can't speak for the others, but Buffy or me I know we're not gonna get upset for you asking a question."
"It's your lots plan and operations I'm not looking to cause any problems. It's nothing just forget it." Spike said desperately trying to end the conversation as he was clearly uncomfortable with it.
"Spike, listen to me it's okay to have an opinion and for it to be different than mine or any of ours. I know when Buffy came up with the idea to use the Sythe to give her power to all of the potentials you weren't for it. You didn't like the idea of that much magic and change in the natural order. But you went along with it because Buffy wanted to do it and she needed your support. You gotta have questions about how it all works right now and maybe we haven't been doing everything right. It's ok to have a different opinion. What were you going to say?" Xander asked with patients to his voice.
Spike let out a shaky breath and he started to scratch to back of his right hand again as he went back over to the wall so his back was no longer to the other people in the area.
"You have four hundred Slayers. Four hundred teenage girls that up until the spell were just normal girls. You made an army of Slayers, but they didn't sign up for it, you drafted them. I can't help but wonder how many of them all truly want to be there. It's hard to believe that all of them are happy about the life they were forced into. Don't you ever wonder how many of them had dreams of being a doctor or an artists or a mother? Buffy chose to keep being the Slayer when Kendra and Faith showed up. You chose at sixteen to help Buffy in this life. The Sunnydale potentials chose to fight and become Slayers. The others though, they didn't get to choose, they were forced into this life without any say at all. You took em out of their homes, stuck em with strangers in a foreign country and trained them like soldiers only for them to go out at night to hunt and kill. Just seems wrong to me is all." Spike said softly with a small shrug.
Xander couldn't help, but be shocked at what Spike had said, because he had never truly thought about it like that. He just saw them as Slayers and they needed to be taught how to handle their new found powers. He never even considered that not all of them wanted to be a Slayer or in that life. They were getting paid sure, but that didn't mean it was their passion. Spike was right they hadn't really given any of them a choice. They just came to their home told them what was going on and took them away that same day or the following day. Listening to Spike really made it seem like they weren't doing everything right.
"You know what I've never even thought about it like that. Giles said they had to get trained so they didn't hurt anyone and I mean that makes sense. I never even considered that some of them would want to leave afterwards. I don't even think we gave them a choice to go. Giles just sends them off to different cities in different countries when they are needed and then they come back to us when it's time for a different Slayer to take over that area or the area is calmed back down. Once they get their powers we pick em up and they go to school during the day and then when school is over they learn how to speak English or they train in fighting before they go out on rotation at night. Then back to school the next day. The weekends they learn and fight all weekend. It's a strict schedule. Shit."
"I'm sure it's fine. I'm not there I don't know how the girls feel I'm sure it's fine. Forget I said anything." Spike said slightly panicked and the scratching got worse.
"No you had every right to say something. I'll keep an eye out and see how some of the girls are adjusting. It's only been nine months and things aren't perfect. That might be something we seriously missed. They're not just Slayers, but teenage girls too. They deserve to still have hopes and dreams. I'm glad you said something Spike. Thank-you." Xander said sincerely.
"I'm sure it's nothing, their probably all happy with the life. We should get back in Buffy will be done speaking to the Niblet by now." Spike said as he looked around and Xander knew he had reached his limit.
"Ya and hopefully food will be there." Xander said with a smile.
They both headed inside and back to the room.
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Once Spike and Xander headed out of the room Buffy turned her attention back to Dawn who was quickly losing patients on the other end of the phone.
"Hey sorry Dawnie."
"You kept Spike's lighter this whole time? That is both really sweet and sad. How is he doing?" Dawn asked with concern.
Buffy let out a sad sigh before she spoke.
"Well he's not pissed off like he was when he got his chip and he's not crazy like he was when he got his soul. Honestly, though I would prefer either of them to this. He just looks so lost Dawnie. Even when he got his soul he never seemed lost or weak. He could still fight and he still knew his purpose in the world. Now though, he's just lost and he's weak. Physically, mentally and emotionally he's just weak and he looks it. He's barely a hundred pounds right now and it wouldn't surprise me if he has problems that he's not telling me about. It'll take months before he's even strong enough to be fighting assuming he can even get his mind into it. I don't see that happening though, I truly think he's done and it's really sad."
"Spike's always been strong and a fighter. Him not being able to fight anymore is sad, but I mean I still love him even if he can't fight anymore."
"So do I and I told him that. He was afraid that I wouldn't love him anymore if he couldn't be what he used to be. I just want him back to being healthy again. He is in desperate need of some TLC."
"Which he will get lots of. I already got some blood for him, enough to get him through the next few days. I assumed he was going to be staying with you so it's in your fridge. I'm also making some chocolate chip cookies for him. I also got you some sun canceling curtains and I already put them up in your bedroom. Willow said she can look into a spell or something to make it so that Spike can be around open windows without catching fire."
"Thanks Dawnie that's awesome. We won't be there until around five in the morning your time. I was wondering if you wanted to pick us up at the airport."
"Ya totally I'll be there just text me the details and I'll be there. It's also supposed to be raining tomorrow so that will be good we won't have to worry about an early sunrise. Can I bring Willow with me?"
"Ya that'll be fine. Just remember he's skittish right now. He's not one for the touching so if you are going to hug him ask him first don't just run into him."
"Got it. I'll be careful and I'll let Willow know."
"He's also got a scar where his other scar is on his left eyebrow, but it goes up his forehead. He gets headaches from it, but he's got a little memory issue from time to time. So if you say something and he doesn't remember don't make a thing out of it he should heal up once he gets eating properly and healthier. I just don't want you to freak out. Also he's picked up this habit of scratching the back of his right hand when he's nervous or overwhelmed. He doesn't even know he's doing it so." Buffy listed off quickly.
"Buffy its ok we can get him through it. I'll tell Willow so she knows. She also told Kennedy cause well you know in love right. She's going to keep it quiet and she said she would take over your patrols for you until we figure something out. So you won't have to worry about that for a few days."
"Good I didn't even think of that. I want to keep Spike kinda isolated for the first day or two. I don't want him feeling like he was just getting thrown into the deep end here. I want to ease him into it again. He's not so good with crowds right now. Plus the new Slayers won't know how to handle him. They aren't used to the whole vampire with a soul deal."
"It'll be an adjustment, but the Sunnydale Slayers know Spike and that will help. Everything will be ok. Just worry about getting him here and then the rest we can worry about then." Dawn said reassuringly.
"Ya just have to get him on the plane. He's never flown before and it's still going to be crowded at five this afternoon. It's going to be hard on him I just hope I can get him there without too much trouble. I really don't know how well he is going to be able to handle this." Buffy said with worry.
"You'll get him through it. He loves you and you love him. Not that many people will want to be flying into London at five am. It shouldn't be too bad once you get him used to being on the plane. Just keep his mind off of what is going on and you'll be fine "
"I hope so. I really just want to get him there and hopefully he'll get better being around people who care about him. This is the first time he's been outside since he got to his apartment a month ago and that was the first time in eight months. He just has so much anxiety about the world now. It's sad and hard because he never had those problems before. I just want him better and back to his confident self. Hopefully being back where he belongs will help."
"It will. Just give it some time. He'll be back to his old self before you even know it."
"You're right he will be."
"I have to get going. I have a few things I need to work on for Giles. I'll see you guys in the early morning."
"Yes I will text you the information once Xander gets back."
"Awesome. Tell them both that I love them and I am so excited to see them."
"I will."
"I love you too and I'll see you in like twelve hours."
"Seventeen for me but that's time change for ya. I love you too."
"See ya."
"Bye."
Buffy ended the call and she looked at the time. She noticed that Xander and Spike had been gone longer than the seven minutes it normally took Spike to have a smoke. She couldn't help, but be worried about them being gone for almost fifteen minutes now. She knew he was with Xander and if something happened he would have called her. Still she couldn't help but be worried about him. She had lost him once already she didn't want to lose him again. She just wanted to keep him in her sights for as long as possible until she felt ready for him to no longer be with her twenty-four seven. After another five minutes the room door opened and Spike and Xander walked back in. Buffy felt like she could breathe again as they both walked in. Xander gave Buffy a smile as he went and sat down in the chair by the table.
"You guys were gone longer than I expected." Buffy said trying not to sound worried.
"Ya we just got to talking about Africa. How's Dawnie?" Xander said.
"She's good. She will meet us there with Willow for five. I just need to text her all of the info, do you have that?" Buffy asked Xander.
"Ya I'll send it to her right now." Xander said as he pulled out his cell phone.
Buffy smiled at Spike as he stood against the wall on the other side of the bed. He was in the room, but he wasn't actually in the room. Spike gave her a smile back before he spoke.
"She's ok?"
Buffy could hear the worry in his voice. Him and Dawn had never really settled things after what happened to make Spike go and get his soul. Buffy had spoken to Dawn afterwards in the road side motel and Dawn had broken down about it. She hated that she didn't tell Spike that she had forgiven him. That she loved him and was proud of the man he had become. Even nine months later Dawn still felt like part of her life was missing with Spike not being in it. It was a shared pain they both had even to this day.
"She's really excited to see you. She bought you blood and put it in the fridge in our place. She also bought sunlight canceling curtains and hung them in the bedroom. She's also baking you chocolate chip cookies." Buffy said with a smile.
"She's good at baking. She did it a lot when you were gone. It made her feel better." Spike said.
"Willow is also looking into a spell of some sort to put on the windows so we don't have to worry about sunlight. For now we can just keep the curtains closed and when you go down into the living facility we can make sure there's no sunlight coming in." Buffy said.
"Ok info is sent." Xander said as there was a knock on the door and Spike jumped at the unexpected sound.
"It's okay it's just the food." Buffy said with a smile as she got up and went over to the door.
Buffy opened the door and took the cart with the food on it. She tipped the man and closed the door. She wheeled the cart further into the room where there were two plates on it. Buffy grabbed both plates and went over to the table and set them down while she sat down.
"This looks good." Xander said as he picked up his fork.
"It does. So Kennedy is going to take care of patrols for me for the next few nights. So I won't have to worry about that." Buffy said.
"Um… I can um… take a shower?" Spike asked slightly unsure.
Buffy could tell he was getting overwhelmed and anxious. He was back to scratching his hand and his eyes were darting all over the room.
"Of course you can baby you don't have to ask." Buffy said with a smile.
Spike just gave a nod and headed over into the bathroom. He closed and locked the door before he turned on the shower. Once the shower was going he didn't remove his clothes right away. He just put his hands on the counter and tried to catch his breath. He didn't need to breathe and yet he felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't get a proper breath and he didn't even need to breathe. He knew that in less than five hours he would be getting onto a plane. Something he had never done before. There would be crowds of people everywhere and Spike didn't know if he could do it. He wanted to be with Buffy. He wanted to hold her at night and just be around her, but he didn't know if he could do this. He knew that he couldn't make Buffy stay here. She had all of her family and friends in London, plus responsibilities. He couldn't let her stay here and he couldn't imagine not being around her so he had to go. He just had get through it. Once he got there he could just hide away from everyone.
Spike went over to the shower and turned the water on as hot as it could go. He still smelt like Hell. He knew he was the only one who could smell it and he knew it was probably in his head, but he just couldn't get the smell off from him. He took his clothes off before he got under the steaming hot water and began to scrub his skin.
Buffy couldn't help the worried look on her face as Spike headed into the bathroom. It wasn't like him to ask if he could do something. He would just tell her he was doing it and then do it, especially something as simple as taking a shower. Buffy knew that within the next week she would find out just how damaged he was after being in Hell for so long. Xander got up and went over to the desk and picked up two pads of paper and two pens before he went back over to the table.
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked with confusion as Xander wrote down on the one pad of paper and gave her the other pad and a pen. Once Xander was finished writing he held it up to her.
'Vampire hearing. He's not okay.'
Buffy frowned as she picked up her pen and wrote back.
'I know, but I can't just leave him here and I can't stay or I would. He's only going to get worse until we get him back to our place.'
Xander wrote back while Buffy took a bite of her burger.
'What if we can't get him through the plane ride? How are we going to do this? He could barely handle being outside with five people. There's going to be hundreds tonight.'
'I don't know, but we have too. I can't just leave him behind living alone where no one truly cares about him. Ya Angel's team kept him alive and was there for him, but it's different. It's not home and he needs to be home.'
'I know he does. I just hate seeing him like this. His hands shake did you know that?'
'No I haven't noticed. Dammit. I need you to help me with keeping Spike from fighting. We can't let anyone pressure him into doing it. Promise me.'
'You know I'll promise you anything Buff, but why? Is something more going on that I don't know about? Is it the scar and his memory? Is something seriously wrong?'
Xander couldn't help the worried look on his face. He knew Spike was having some memory problems and he had seen Spike getting a headache and his hands shaking. Xander was now seriously worried that something would keep Spike out of a fight for good now. Something that his body couldn't heal from.
'You can't tell anyone or even let him know that you know.'
'I give you my word Buffy I won't tell anyone. What is it?'
'The doctors ran tests on him while he was in the hospital. They found brain damage where the scar is. They don't know if it'll ever heal. His hands shaking is probably from it as well as the headaches and the memory problems. One wrong punch to his head and it could be made worse or spread. He can't fight until it's gone no matter what.'
Xander sat back in his chair with shock and hurt all over his face. Buffy had the same hurt look on her face and she just gave a sad nod. Xander ran his left hand over his face before he wrote down on the paper.
'I won't let him fight or let anyone make him fight until we know it's gone. We need to know what everything is wrong with him. We need to know before we leave. You need to ask him or call Wesley or something. We gotta know how bad his body is damaged Buffy. We don't even know how many years it was in that dimension.'
'When he gets out I'll talk to him more about it. I just don't know what I should say and what I shouldn't say. I don't want to upset him. He hasn't even slept in a month or more. He didn't last night. I don't know what effect that could have on him. We're really in the dark here.'
'You need to talk to him. I'll make up some excuse to leave so you can talk to him alone. We have to leave in three hours to get to the airport for takeoff.'
'I know. I'll talk to him and we can just get him through it. Once we get to London we can just hide out for a few days before we meet everyone.'
'Ya, but Faith and Wood are gonna be there in three days remember?'
Now it was Buffy's turn to sit back in her chair with an oh shit look on her face. Xander just gave a knowing nod right back at her.
'What do I do about that?'
'I don't know, but they are gonna be there. I don't know how Wood feels about Spike, but last time he tried to kill him. He wasn't exactly upset that Spike was dead and neither was Giles. Neither of them are going to be happy to see him.'
'Fuck. I don't care I'm not letting anyone try and bully him away. I love him and he loves me that should be good enough for everyone. I'm so done letting other people dictate my life. Faith will keep Wood in line and if she won't I will.'
'So will I and a bunch of other Slayers that Spike saved with his sacrifice. We'll keep him safe. He's always keeping us safe it's time we kept him safe.'
'I can't lose him again Xander. I can't.'
'You won't.'
Xander reached over and held onto Buffy's hand to give a silent support.
"It'll be okay." Xander said with a small smile.
"I need it to be." Buffy said honestly.
"I know and it will be."
Xander pulled his hand back and started to eat his food again and Buffy did the same.
"Hey, have you ever thought about the girls and how they just got snatched up and put into this life?" Xander asked after a moment.
"Not really. I don't really think about who they were before. I just focus on patrolling and helping to train them. Why?"
"It's just something Spike said. You know how Spike can do some really stupid shit and you just always assume he's an idiot. Then out of nowhere he says something so intelligent and insightful that it just makes you think about something."
"Ya he has a habit of doing that. He plays stupid well. Did he say something about the girls?"
"He just made me look at things differently. I've gotten so used to being in this lifestyle that I forgot not everyone is used to it. Before I would just go to a new Slayer tell her what's going on and what will happen then ship her off. But Spike said something that made me look at it differently."
"What did he say?"
"He said that we go to this new Slayer, we're strangers to her we completely alter her world. Then within twenty-four hours we take her away from her family, her friends, stick her in a strange country with strangers. We take them away from the only life she has ever known just to learn how to kill and be a part of a war that she didn't even know about. And he's right. He asked me how many of the girls had other dreams for their life? He said that he was surprised that so many girls were all happy with being a Slayer and weren't resentful of it, of us. He's right though Buff. We take these girls and train them in school all day and then when they get back from school they train at night and then patrol. They don't ever get that break. They don't even go to a normal school. Giles has teachers that come in for it. What if we're doing this wrong? What if all we're doing is being a more humane version of the Initiative?"
"I don't know. I've never even thought about it. I got thrown into this world and I didn't even think about what I could have been. I didn't really have many options though, but some of these girls I'm sure they do have options. Maybe when we get back you should play charming and see if you can get a feel from the girls. They need to be trained, but maybe we shouldn't force them to be Slayers when they are trained. Maybe we should be giving them the choice of it or not. I don't know this got complicated really quick here."
"It hasn't even been a year yet so we're bound to change things and make mistakes. I do think we need to make sure we aren't forcing anyone to stay a Slayer when they truly don't want to be. We can figure this out." Xander said reassuringly.
"Ya I know we can. I just can't believe I never even thought of it. We can see how they feel and talk to Giles. It'll work out."
"Exactly." Xander gave Buffy a smile and they finished eating their meal as they kept the conversation light.
It wasn't until thirty minutes later did Spike finally turned off the water and got out. He didn't feel any better, but for now it would have to do. If he was alone he could be there for hours just scrubbing his skin under the scolding hot water. He would be under the water until it turned cold and he had no choice, but to get out. He had many times in the past month scrubbed his skin so hard and raw it had bled in spots. Spike got out and dried off. He got dressed in the clean clothes he had put on last night before he sat down on the closed toilet lid and took a few calming breaths. He had to get a grip on himself. He didn't want Buffy to know just how damaged and broken he was. He knew he was only in hell for six months, but down there it was a lot longer, six hundred years long. Time went by so fast and so slow at the same time. He couldn't help the constant fear in his body as each second ticked by in the day. He hated the thought of sleeping and he hadn't done any in six weeks that he had woken up from his coma or while he was in hell. He was so exhausted but he just couldn't get the fear under control of having to close his eyes. Spike knew it wasn't fair to Buffy to be dealing with him. She deserved better than him and his problems. He was just going to tell her to go on without him. She deserved to be happy and with someone that wasn't so damaged and broken like he was. He could just go back to his basement apartment and stay there and never leave.
Spike took a deep breath in before he stood up and headed out of the bathroom. He saw Buffy and Xander had finished eating and were just talking about the Slayers they had just picked up. They stopped when he walked into the room. Spike leaned his back against the wall where he originally was and stayed quiet.
"We have to leave at four so I'm gonna go and pack up my stuff and I'll check in with Andrew to make sure they got there ok." Xander said as he stood up.
"Ya okay. We can meet at the lobby at quarter too so we can load up and headed out." Buffy said with a smile.
"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you guys soon then." Xander said with a smile.
Spike just gave a nod and Xander headed out of the room leaving Buffy and Spike to talk. Once Xander left Buffy spoke.
"Why don't you sit down on the bed or over here babe." Buffy kept her voice calm and gentle as she could tell Spike was not handling things very well.
"I don't really sit." Spike said with a soft voice.
"You sat on the bed with me last night." Buffy said calmly back.
"That was the first time I've been on a bed since the hospital. I don't." Spike said with fear clear in his voice and he closed his eyes fighting off a memory that Buffy knew was traumatising to make it so that he was afraid to sit down or even be on a bed. "We shouldn't be doing this. This is a bad idea, a mistake. You should go back to London and live your life and just forget about me." Spike said in a hurry and Buffy could tell his anxiety was way up.
Buffy slowly got up out of the chair and went over to the side of the bed so she could face Spike, but kept the bed between them.
"Spike listen to me. I can't forget about you. That's not going to happen. I was miserable for nine months without you. I was existing all over again just like I was when I had came back from the dead. You made me live again. When you died I went right back to existing. I cried every night that you were gone and now you're back. The last thing I am going to do is let you go." Buffy said with complete sincerity in her voice.
"I'm not back. It's not fair to you to put up with my problems. I'm broken Buffy I can't be who I used to be and I don't know if I'll ever be okay again and it's not fair to you. For you to put up with it. I won't do that to you. So you should go and find some human bloke who loves you and you can be happy together." Spike said with a shaky voice.
"I don't want some human man Spike. I want you. I love you and I am not about to walk away from you. I had problems when I came back too, but you didn't run away when you had every right to. I almost killed you in that alley, but you stayed because you love me. I love you and I am not going to walk away or leave you here alone. You're not broken and even if you are I don't care I still love you. I know you aren't who you used to be, but that's okay I don't care I just want you in my life. I want you to be there so I can hold you and be held by you. So I can see you every day and talk to you and complain to you about something one of the new Slayers did. You have problems and that's okay we can get through them together. We're stronger together we always have been."
"It's not fair to you." Spike said softly.
"It's not fair to you either. I'm not going anywhere, you are stuck with me Spike. Let me be there for you, let me help you like you helped me. You've always been taking care of me and my friends and family. It's my turn to take care of you." Buffy said as she moved around to Spike. She placed both of her hands gently on either side of his face as she spoke again. "I love you baby and I'm not going anywhere no matter what you say. So don't leave me again. Let me take care of you this time." Buffy said softly.
Spike gently rested his forehead against hers and he closed his eyes as he spoke softly.
"I don't know if I can do this."
"You can, we'll do it together. We can take it one step at a time until you're ready to take it one day at a time. I love you." Buffy said softly back.
"I love you."
"We can do this. I know we can. We just need to be on the same page though ok?"
"What do you mean Luv?"
"I need to know all of your injuries and any problems you have. I know about the brain damage and the anxiety, but what else Spike? I need to know in case something happens." Buffy said gently.
"I don't know. The doctors said a lot, but I didn't really listen past brain damage."
"When was the last time you slept?"
"When I woke up from the coma."
"So six weeks and I'm not really sure a coma counts as sleep." Buffy stepped back slightly as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "Ok so we need information. Do you know if Wesley would know?"
"I don't know maybe. It was at the hospital there so he could find out probably."
"Do you mind if I call him?" Buffy asked gently.
"Probably should know what, if anything is wrong. He would know, or have access to the information."
"Ok I am going to give him a call and we can see if there is anything we don't know." Buffy said as she went over to the table and picked up her phone.
She called Wesley and after three rings he answered.
"Hello"
"Hey Wes, can you talk?"
"Yes, is everything alright?" Wesley asked with slight concern.
"No ya everything is fine. Spike is going to come back to London with me and Xander. I was just wondering if you knew about any reports from the hospital. We just wanted to make sure Spike was healthy."
"Yes of course. I can bring up the last report from the day he left the hospital just one moment here."
Buffy could hear typing in the background before Wesley spoke again.
"Alright, it states that there was some brain damage done to the front of his brain, where the scar is. It will give him some memory issues and headaches quite often until it heals. How long that will take they did not know as it has never been recorded before. He was malnourished and starved. As a result his bones are weak and fragile he would also bruise easily from it. He was beyond exhausted, they suspected he hadn't slept at all during his time in Hell or even from the coma. He does seem to have insomnia, anxiety attacks, flashbacks and he seems to still be struggling with being conditioned from Hell. What rules there were in the Hell dimension he still seems to follow them. In my opinion he has a level of PTSD and that is making him have a harder time overcoming the rules that were tortured into him. He has a long road ahead of him and with his brain damage and his bones being so brittle he shouldn't be fighting any time soon. I'm afraid all he needs is a safe place to be and time to overcome everything that has happened to him." Wesley said with hurt in his voice.
"Ok, but all of that is something he can heal from with enough blood. Ok thanks Wesley I really appreciate it."
"It's no problem Buffy. Just let him rest and recover from everything that happened to him. He needs time more than anything right now."
"He's got all the time in the world and I am not about to let him fight until he is recovered and ready I can promise you that." Buffy said in a serious voice.
"Good. If something comes up please call and I will do everything I can to help you out."
"Same goes for you. Thanks Wesley."
"You're welcome. Have a safe trip back home."
"You be safe too out there."
"I always am."
"Goodbye Wesley."
"Goodbye Buffy."
Buffy ended the call and turned to face Spike with a smile.
"So he just said that you are exhausted, but we already knew that. He also said your bones are fragile from not eating. So all we have to do is get you back on a steady diet and get some desperately needed sleep into you and you will be fine."
"At least I still have all of my parts." Spike said jokingly.
"You are going to be perfectly fine Spike. I'm going to make sure of it. We have a little bit still before we have to leave. Why don't we sit down on the bed and just relax." Buffy suggested.
"Um… ya ok." Spike said slightly unsure.
Buffy went over to the bed and Spike got into the bed sitting up against the headboard. Buffy went over to Spike and put her head on his chest and Spike wrapped his arms around her.
"Why the anxiety about sitting and beds? You were okay last night." Buffy asked gently.
"Just a few things I haven't gotten over. Wasn't allowed to sit or sleep. Didn't even sit at the apartment. "
"So why did you last night? You spent all night in bed with me." Buffy asked calmly.
"Used to get tortured for hours or days I don't know, just for sitting down. Was always waiting for someone to come into the apartment and torture me if I sat down. Couldn't fight even if I wanted to right now. I know I don't have the strength in me. Last night you were here. If someone came storming in here you would kick their ass. Don't really have to worry too much about it. It's still hard to do it, but once I sit down I don't have much anxiety over it with you around." Spike answered honestly.
"Anyone who tries to hurt you I'll kill them." Buffy said with compete seriousness.
"I know you will. It's not so hard to breathe around you."
"Metaphorically speaking, but then you always have breathed even though you don't need to. Why is that?"
"Never got out of the habit. Plus I've known vamps that stopped breathing and they can't run as long or fight as long without their lungs getting tired. Besides it's not like breathing is inconvenient."
"That's true. I know you are nervous about the plane ride, but are you even a little excited to be back with the rest of us?"
"I'm looking forward to seeing the Niblet. Being back with you always feels nice. I just don't know where I fit into your life anymore. Can't really fight right now."
"I told you I don't care that you can't fight right now or ever. You fit right here in my life. You've always been there for me and not just to watch my back. I need you in my life Spike. I need you there to talk to and to hug and kiss. I just need you that's how you fit. I love you that's all that matters the rest we can figure it out. I don't do much fighting either I mostly just train the girls and they go off on the patrols. I take a few patrols a week when I'm getting bored and need the violence and workout. I'm not the only one that has to deal with it anymore. It's nice."
"I'd imagine it would be Luv. All of that responsibilities have been taken off your shoulders and the load shared. It's good for you."
"Do you really think we have some girls that don't want to be there?"
"I don't know. I think you probably have more than you know about. It's just statistics, you can't have four hundred teenage girls happy to be a Slayer and being out there killing at night instead of having a life. I'd be more worried about them resenting everything. Those are the ones that become the most dangerous and not for the undead, but the living variety."
"Like what Faith used to be."
"Faith was different. She came from nothing with a bad life before she was given all of that power. Her old watcher was killed before her. The Mayor came and gave her something she always wanted, a father figure. She fell right into his hands and was easily manipulated. A Slayer being resentful is a lot of problems. Not all Slayers were happy about the calling. There have been a number of them that wanted nothing to do with it. Some refused to train and patrol until they were eventually killed by a demon. Others have all varied in degrees of dangerous. Some turned into criminals with their strength and speed. One even had her own vampire gang that she used to terrorise different cities all over the country."
"Are you serious? Why haven't I ever heard about this?" Buffy asked shocked and slightly angry for being kept in the dark.
"Question for your Watcher Luv not me. Had a guess the Council of Wankers don't want to go around advertising that they had to kill a few of their own to save face. It's why that whole test once you turn eighteen came up. If a Slayer was turning rebellious and they thought she would be a danger they could just kill her right then a there. The Watcher would just think she never made it pass the test and he would be given a new potential."
"Holy shit. That's insane. I never knew that and you damn well bet I am going to ask Giles about it. So that's why you wonder how many are actually happy."
"It's a numbers game. Four hundred official Slayers and two hundred potential Slayers, how many of them are really going to be happy about it? It's just something you need to watch out for. You have so many of them and it's easy to lose track of how they are doing and feeling. A Slayer could turn down a different path and it could be months or years before you notice and by then it will be too late."
"I'm gonna speak to Giles when we get back in a few days. I want to make sure everything is going well and just what we can do for the girls that don't want this life, but need the training in order to help them survive and understand their strength. I'm not looking to force anyone to be in this life. I know how hard it is and I would never put that onto someone if they truly didn't want it."
"I'm sure everything will be fine Luv. You can figure it out you haven't been doing this operation for long. You are bound to come across a few bumps in the road."
"I know, but I want to make sure those bumps are smoothed out and not left to get bigger."
"I'm sure it won't Luv."
They spent the next little while just talking about different things that had happened since Spike had been gone. Buffy made sure she told Spike all about the things Dawn had been doing so he was up to date on her life. When it was time for them to go and meet Xander down in the lobby Spike was nervous, but he was able to make it to the airport without much difficulty. Once at the airport he was having more of a challenge and the plane ride was very hard on him. There were a few times when him and Buffy had to go into the bathroom to try and get Spike to calm down. Buffy had been patient and supportive of him. Just allowing him the time alone in the bathroom together to try and get his anxiety down. Xander was a pillar of support to him. He was able to talk to Spike about his experiences in Africa to try and get Spike's mind to focus on something else. It was a long flight for everyone and they were all thankful when the plane finally landed and they were able to get off. Spike kept thinking about Dawn and how it would be good to see her again and hug her. He knew things before between them had gone downhill, but they seemed to have gotten better in those last few months he was in the house. Spike was hoping she really was excited to see him, because he was looking forward to seeing her. They made it through the baggage claim to get their bags and then they headed outside to where Dawn was supposed to be picking them up. They walked out of the door and sure enough Dawn was standing there with Willow beside her. Dawn gave Spike a huge smile when she saw him and they came over to Buffy, Spike and Xander.
"Hey Spike." Dawn said with a smile.
"Hello Niblet. Hello Red."
"Can I hug you?" Dawn asked unsure if it would be okay.
Spike opened his arms and Dawn immediately went over to him and she wrapped her arms around him.
"You can always hug me Niblet." Spike said softly to her.
Dawn held onto Spike tighter and Spike could smell her tears. He rubbed her back and after a moment she pulled back and wiped her face.
"These are happy tears I swear." Dawn said with a smile.
"I really wanna hug you too." Willow said with a smile.
"Come here Red." Spike said with a small smile.
Willow went over to Spike and wrapped her arms around with. The hug didn't last as long, but it still felt good to Spike.
"Okay hey guys." Willow said when she stepped back.
"What I don't get a hug?" Xander said.
"Of course you do." Willow said as she gave Xander a hug followed by Dawn.
"Ok we need to get going in case the sun decides to come outside to play." Buffy said.
"Ya and I don't know about you guys, but I am exhausted." Xander said.
"We're over here." Dawn said as she started to walk towards the vehicle.
Dawn walked on one side of Spike with Buffy on the other.
"So how the trip?" Dawn asked.
"Ah it went pretty well." Buffy said.
"Though I don't want to do another plane ride anytime soon. I went from Africa to London, then from London to L.A and now L.A to London all within like a week of each other. I'm done getting on a plane for a long time. I just want to find a place to live and get my construction company back up and running. Do something normal again that doesn't involve telling fourteen year old girls that may or may not speak English that they are a Slayer and have to move." Xander said.
"Ya I hear ya. This past week the coven has found more Slayers that were potentials that we didn't know about, they all turned fourteen, fifteen around the same time and all got their powers. Giles had to intervene on one girl, because she got into a fight at school and almost killed the girl. We were able to work it out, but still not fun." Willow said.
They got to the vehicle and they all piled into it. Dawn sat in the driver's seat with Willow in the passenger seat and the other three in the back.
"Please tell me you drive better than your sister little Bit." Spike said.
"I drive way better than she does. We don't let Buffy drive unless we have no other choice." Dawn said with a smile.
"I am not that bad people." Buffy said with a slight annoyance to her voice.
"You really are Buff, but that's okay Spike might be able to teach you. After all he's already dead so if you crash he won't die." Xander said with a smile.
"That is true you could teach me." Buffy said with a smile.
"I taught Angel how to drive I'm sure I could teach you. How bad could it be?"
"You taught Angel how to drive? Isn't he older than you?" Willow asked.
"He never had the interest in new technology. He always believed it would go away and there was no point in learning it. After being dead for decades I finally convinced him to learn. He kept crashing into ravines. He crashed so bad once that the car literally broke in half. We didn't let him drive anymore after that. Apparently he got better with age."
"Ok see I am not that bad. You could totally teach me." Buffy said.
"You know I will Luv."
"How is everything at the house?" Buffy asked Dawn and Willow.
"Things are good. Kennedy took over your patrols. And all of the girls were still asleep when we left. They shouldn't be up until six thirty so that will give us enough time to get there and you can get inside without a hoard of girls asking what the vampire is doing in the house." Willow answered.
"Oh I never even thought about that. They'll be able to sense you up in the apartment." Buffy said to Spike.
"I already took care of that. I did a spell that makes it so Spike's presence is only known to you in the apartment. The rest of the house won't even notice, but if another vampire is in your room they will. I figured it would solve the questions and worry that you are being attacked." Willow said.
"Good thinking Will." Buffy said.
"I have also been doing some research on sunlight spells, but so far I have only found ones that make sunshine so that's a work in progress." Willow said.
"I made sure all of the curtains are drawn just in case. And I put the chocolate chip cookies I made for you Spike in the kitchen." Dawn said with a smile.
"I've missed your cookies Niblet."
"Well ya that's cause they are awesome." Dawn said with a smile.
"That they are Bit."
"So what is on the agenda for you guys today?" Xander asked.
"Well I have school. Followed by homework and studying." Dawn answered.
"I have to work with the Coven and see if they were able to set up any more Covens around the world to align with us. Then the usual, help with the house work, check in on the girls and see how they are doing. See if there is anything Giles needs me to do. The same old same old. What about you guys besides sleeping?" Willow asked.
"I think Spike and I are just gonna hang out in the apartment for a few days." Buffy answered.
"Me I am going to sleep like the dead and then go house hunting. Oh and set up my company so I have to go looking for jobs and a crew. Lots of fun to be had for this guy." Xander said with a fake smile.
"Sounds like it. If you need any help with the paper work I can always give you a hand." Willow offered.
"Thanks Will. I might take you up on that. Depends if any of it has to be submitted online or not." Xander said back.
"A lot of that probably has to be done online now. Everything is so digital now." Dawn said.
"Well London is a lot bigger than Sunnydale so it's easier for them to keep track of everything online then in paper form." Willow said.
"Ya that makes sense. Even my assignments get submitted online. It's pretty cool at least I don't have to worry about my teachers losing my work." Dawn said as she pulled up to the gates for the facility.
Once she punched in her code the gates opened and she was able to drive through. Spike looked around as they drove up to the living facility. He knew it was big because Buffy and Xander had told him, but still he didn't expect it to be this big. There was a lot of room for training outside and inside. Spike couldn't help, but feel a little overwhelmed at everything that had been thrown at him in the last twenty-four hours. He was looking forward to being in the apartment alone with Buffy for the next few days. At least it would give him time to adjust. Dawn parked the SUV and they all got out. They grabbed their bags and then headed inside. Buffy took Spike's hand in hers as they walked inside. She wanted him to know that she was right there with him. They walked in and Spike was amazed at the size of it. He knew it would be large from the outside and the inside didn't disappoint. It looked like a grand hotel with different living rooms and hallways going all over the place. Including the stairs. Spike knew it would take him a long time to figure everything out. For tonight though he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone in the apartment with Buffy. He was beyond exhausted and right now some sleep with Buffy in his arms was sounding good to him. He didn't sleep, but tonight he thought he would give it a try knowing Buffy was there beside him.
"I know everything seems like a lot, but you'll get used to it." Dawn said to Spike with a smile.
"It's gonna take a while to figure out where everything leads to ya." Spike said as he looked around.
"Well, all you need to know is where the elevator is so we can go home." Buffy said with a smile.
"And where would that be?" Spike asked.
"It's right over here." Willow said as she guided them over to the elevator down one of the hallways.
"Don't worry too much about it. I helped to build this place and I still get lost. I have to figure it out too." Xander said as they walked to the elevator.
"I got lost last month. Trust me it happens all the time here." Buffy said.
They got onto the elevator and Buffy hit her floor while Xander hit his. Willow and Dawn were going to go with Xander to talk to him leaving Buffy and Spike alone for right now. When they got to Xander's floor Dawn gave Spike another hug before they got off the elevator. Buffy leaned into Spike as they went the rest of the way up to the top floor. Once there Buffy lead Spike over to the door to their apartment and she opened the door. Once they were inside Buffy locked it. Spike took a moment to look around the living space, but he didn't really care too much right now. His body was so exhausted that all he wanted to do was sleep.
"So this is it. I can give you a tour if you want." Buffy said with a smile.
"Honestly Luv, all I want to do right now is go curl up in bed with you and sleep." Spike said honestly.
"Good, because that is all I want to do too. I can give you a tour later. Let's go to bed."
Buffy grabbed Spike's hand once again and she lead him down the hallway to the bedroom. Once there she let go of his hand so she could put her bag down and he did the same. Buffy grabbed her sleep clothes and got changed into them real quick and Spike removed his jacket and shoes. He opened his bag to remove some sweat pants to sleep in.
"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom I'll be right back, make yourself comfy." Buffy said with a smile as she headed out of the room
Spike got changed into the sweats and a clean black shirt before he went over to the bed and crawled into the bed. After a few minutes Buffy came back into the room and she turned out the light before going over to get into bed. She crawled under the covers and curled into Spike. Spike wrapped his arms around her and Buffy placed her head onto his chest.
"You're safe Spike. I promise if anyone comes in here to hurt you I will kill them, unless they are a Slayer or Potential, in which case I will just yell at them." Buffy said with a smile.
"I know luv. I'm fine I'm just tired."
"All the more reason to spend the next three days in bed. Good night baby I love you."
"I love you too Sweetheart." Spike said as he kissed the top of Buffy's head.
Spike closed his eyes and just allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of Buffy in his arms and the safety that she brought. He allowed himself to relax and before he even could realise it he was fast asleep.
