It has to be a dream.
A bad dream ... it just had to.
The way she looked.
The way she acted, but if it was, then why do I feel so ...
guilty
She should , no THEY, they should be my enemies and nothing more. But, when I look at him, just sitting there trying to whip away the blood from his mouth, I feel bad.. no worse then bad, but I can't name it.
Why
Why is it that when I look at her, the way she looks so mad. Why do I feel like I should be dead.
She should be my enemy, seeing her mad should make me smile. But now when I look at her, I just wish I could crawl away like the cowardly cat that I am.
Seeing her mad at me, it breaks my heart
The way her eyes hold an invisible flame of hatred. The way her lips smash together so she won't end up screaming.
See the way she stands as if no matter what I say or do, it wouldn't mean a thing.
I've walked away, phyically saying I would see her again, but mentally saying .... ,"I'm sorry "
I close my eyesand instead of darkness, with which I wish would be behind my closed lids. I see her.
Only her .... *****
I wish i could just find her ... beg for forgivness
But I can't, its not my character,I would probably find her with Tadase and chicken out in the last minute. I would be too afraid to show my weak side , especially to Tadase. He could use it against me .
I want to change, but I'm afraid on how they would react.
This isn't fair ******
Utau and I shouldn't be paying for my biological dad's stupidy .. I HATE Easter !! We shouldn't be made against our will to work for that Idiot .
He said It would get easier ... to hurt the people you love. I have done it before with my mom .... and Amu .... but ...
It's getting harder ***
I believed him, I had nothing else to believe . I'm merilly a puppet under the name " Tskiyomi Ikuto " to him .
I don't like my name, It reminds me too much of my father. I don't REALLY don't HATE him ! I just don't agree with his desision of leaving his family behind.
I want to find him ..... I need to find him .... I need to get way from here. I can't continue hurting the people that I love anymore !! I have to leave, I'm just a berdin to them.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree .
