Making sure not to make a sound, the broad shouldered ninja made his way down the hallway carefully avoiding the floorboards he knew were prone to squeaking. He slid his hand along the wall to his right, searching for the hidden panel that lay underneath the paint.

Applying the lightest touch and a tiny dose of chakra, the panel depressed into the wall with a quiet click. A few moments later there was another click and a hidden compartment opened in the ceiling and from it a ladder extended downwards. The infiltrator climbed the ladder and quickly deactivated the seals at the top step which would've alerted the entire household to his presence.

He tiptoed his way across the secret room until he finally stood in front of his goal: a stainless steel box, no labels, no brands, and no signs that it had been mass produced in a factory or currently owned by anybody. The surface as smooth and cold to the touch as he expected and just as he anticipated the feel sent a shiver of anticipation up his spine.

Then a thought crossed his mind, guilt filled him, and he let go of the metal container.

Suddenly the ninja felt a disturbance and immediately turned to see an all too familiar form sitting on a table across the room.

"Oh it's you. I thought I told you stay the hell away from me although I'm not surprised to see you here." He menacingly growled at figure cloaked in shadows.

"Giving me the silent treatment, eh? Well I wasn't planning on listening to what you had to say in the first place. You disgust me, and don't even try to act sweet. I know you're nothing but a whore."

Further silence was the only silence was the response he was given, though the atmosphere seemed to shift ever so slightly.

"That's right; I called you a whore because you are one. Whore, slut, skank, harlot, shameless hussy; you're all those names and more, far more than I can come up with without a thesaurus. Begging won't work on me. I have others to think of, people I care about, and associating myself with you will bring me nothing pain and humiliation."

"Oh sure we had some good times back in the day, we were almost inseparable. I thought you were the one and thought you felt the same, but what did I know? I was young and naïve, thinking I knew what love was. But I was wrong, so very wrong. You broke my heart as easily as butcher breaks a chicken's neck. You're nothing but poison."

Still no words were spoken back at him and that was making him nervous, slowly chipping at the hollow front he was projecting. But words weren't necessary; he could fill in the quiet without any problems. Their relationship had just been that strong.

"And I'm not going to take you back no matter how much you beg me and I won't fall for any of your tricks, and don't think I don't know recognize them, I know them front to back. There's nothing you can't do that I can't see through. You've always been straight forward and you haven't changed one bit."

"I don't want you're excuses either. You weren't looking for me in the restaurant a week back when I saw you with those savages. Yeah, I was there. Right across from you and you didn't even notice too busy whoring yourself. Letting them touch you, tongue wagging while their mouths slobbering wherever they could, all while you and your whore friends giggled and took it like mindless objects. Oh don't think I haven't been on the watch out for them either and what I've seen they haven't seen changed either. Not one bit."

Again the atmosphere seemed to stir, a certain scent filling the air that put the man on edge.

Deep down he knew he couldn't hold out much longer. The straw that broke the camel's back finally came when a ray of moon light came streaming through the window, lovingly enveloping his counterpart in a unearthly white glow. He tried to say something but he knew it was useless.

"Fine damn it! But only this one time! After this I never want to see your face again! Never! And you're not leaving here till I eat the whore right out of you!"

With that said the young man dived forward and embraced the object of his desire. But, unbeknown to the shinobi, he was being watched and observed from the trapdoor he had just come from.

"Chouji! What the hell are you doing!"

The heir to Akimichi clan looked up in shock and horror at his father who returned his gaze with the same emotions flashing across his face.

The teenage boy was covered in crumbs, bits of apple and pie filling clad only in his underwear. From the looks of it he had forsaken the utensils placed neatly besides the plate of pie and decided to maul the dessert with only his meaty hands.

"Where the hell did you find this pie Chouji! I thought we all agreed to go on a family diet!" Chouza roared though he seemed a bit anxious.

"Isn't it obvious? I got it from you dad!" Chouji yelled pieces of pastry crust tumbling of his mouth, "I saw you weren't getting any thinner so one day I followed you here, right to your secret stash!"

Chouza involuntarily stepped back at his sons angry words. Then without warning he began to cry, his double chins jiggling as tears poured down his round face. He rushed forwards and embraced his only son who started to cry himself.

In front of them the door of mini-fridge swung open revealing compartments filled with vegetables and health food which they both they knew was only put there to hide the various snacks and sweets hidden deeper within.

"I never should have left that pie out. Don't worry son, we'll get through this. I promise we'll get through this together."

To the duo's right a blond haired head could be seen looking through the window, eyes wide open as they observed the emotional scene.

"Freaky behavior, does not get my approval. Father/son relationship building does."


I find that my most inspired writing happens between 12 and 5:30 am in between watching TV and discovering new ways to use my waffle iron, which may explain why these one shots seem so strange (to my friends at least).This chapter in particular was inspired by an episode of Family Guy and a father/son duo I know in real life. On a related note for those wondering when the Naruto/Hinata element of this story is going to come in, you don't have to worry any longer, it'll (probably) happen in the next chapter or two