All the angst all the details. If your easily effected, please do not continue reading.
Some humans have a habit of unintentionally telling someone mediocre news and making it seem like this news they had just told you was going to bring the end of the world. For example, if you don't go on that diet it's going to be the end of the world! And some news we are told is put as 'just a friendly reminder' when really the news is more terrible than that, as if we don't want to panic people about the important stuff but we do want to make them panic about the small stuff. John listened and watched as the paramedics used just one way. Giving news as if it was nothing more than a 'just to let you know'.
"We need to breath for him because he can't on his own"
"The bleeding has been controlled for now but he's lost a huge amount" paramedics don't want to panic people and these paramedics certainly didn't want to panic John.
Sherlock took one more breath for John but it caused a tearing sensation in his lungs. He winced and that just hurt even more. He wanted to talk to John but every time he tried he could only gurgle. His eyes followed everything John did. When he started talking to Lestrade he used his hands to talk for him, something John rarely did, he wasn't a person who gestured. He was panicking. The next breath Sherlock tried to take didn't come. Now he was panicking. It's a human's natural state to breathe but Sherlock couldn't breathe. This wasn't normal, he could handle the major bleeding, humans bled all the time. That could be stopped but when he couldn't breathe that meant it was really bad. He was choking ,his lungs burning screaming for him to take a breath. Oh god it was painful. He hadn't realized how painful dying was. The paramedics couldn't control the bleeding because it wasn't just outside it was inside him as well. All his organs were being choked with blood. It was gruesome and Sherlock just wanted it to be over. He didn't care if he lived through this or died. He just wanted to pain to stop. John was back at Sherlock's side trying to calm him as the paramedics used him as a pin cushion. Drugs after drug He could feel everyone taking over his body. Doing all the work for him so his body could give up. John was shaking he could see every muscle twitching and every now and then he would blink heavily and look at anything other than his dying friend. This new drug they had given him was fantastic. It relaxed him and he suddenly didn't even care about the pain. His head was spinning more but it had been spinning on and off for a while but it turned sinister very fast. It took a hold of him suddenly paralyzing him taking away his right to move. He must have started really panicking about then because John grabbed his hand he saw him grab it but he couldn't feel it. He felt detached from the world. Oh god he really was dying. Shit he thought they would fix him patch him back up and send him on his way, he really didn't want to die and by the hands of a gangly looking teenager. How embarrassing. There were tubes and wires all being pulled from a bag. They were going to intubate him but he was still conscious! they couldn't!
"it's okay Sherlock just sleep" That sounded nothing like John but he knew it was John because he could see his lips moving. John knew he was going to die as well that's why he sounded so terrible.
Sherlock was resisting to go under. His eyes were wide. His pupils dilated with the drugs. He looked mad his chest heaving with the effort of breathing through the blood. The paramedics quickly controlled the bleeding on the outside. Keeping him alive.
"Can't" Sherlock gurgled. John looked away. Lestrade was on the phone probably with the older Holmes brother.
"They can't" he said again
"They have to Sherlock you're being stubborn" Was he really arguing with him right now?
John was angry with him. He relaxed and slowly let the drugs take control and send him to sleep.
It was taking a long time because of Sherlock's stubbornness. If he had wanted to he would have just stopped working through the blood in his lungs and died in about 2 minutes but he was Sherlock and he wasn't going to let blood destroy him but it looked like I was going to. More paramedics had turned up and then he was gone.
In the tubes went. Out came the needles and the adrenaline filled vials for when his heart stopped and just like that he was dead. In a state of controlled deadness. John didn't want to stay and watch as they loaded him in the ambulance to continue their RSI procedure. He couldn't go with him even if he wanted the ambulance was too busy. So he waited for the older brother to arrive with Lestrade. Together the two waited
"why hadn't we seen him?" Lestrade asked, John couldn't answer they just hadn't seen the smaller brother creeping around the corner. The ambulance hadn't left yet. It was still there when Mycroft turned up. Jesus, he was the last person John wanted to see. He would blame them.
"Where is he?" he asked. John looked to Lestrade.
"He's in the ambulance, he's not really…. Alive at the moment see they put-"
"Stop talking Inspector Lestrade" Mycroft snapped. Lestrade was more than happy to stop talking. He went back to holding his head in his hands like it was too heavy for him to hold up.
"John?" Mycroft looked at John for answers.
"He's being RSI'ed it means rapid sequence-"
"I know what it means Dr Watson" John wondered why he had even bothered asking then
"He is alive just not on his own"
Mycroft nodded and kept rocking back on his heels. He looked up at the sky, he swung his umbrella. He couldn't seem to keep still. The back of the ambulance flew open and the younger EMT that had been forgotten by everyone stepped out. He made a b-line for Mycroft. "Are you Sherlock's brother?"
"Yes what's going on?"
"I'm very sorry but Sherlock isn't doing well. The RSI isn't doing much for him if we can't control the bleeding in his lungs. I'm sorry, we are going to stop the procedure"
Mycroft went bright red. He looked like he was going to murder the young EMT in front of him. They were going to let his brother die and he wasn't happy, these people were hired to save people god damn it!
"No" he said calmly "You can't stop. You will find a way to stop the bleeding and you will keep him alive until I can see him"
"Mycroft you can't order these people around they will have already stopped before they told you" John said
"Shut up John" Mycroft raged "Where is he god damn it boy you will let me see him or I will have you fired!" He jutted his umbrella at his chest. The EMT looked uncomfortable he had clearly never encountered anyone who fought with a paramedic's decision but then he didn't know Mycroft. The boy nodded and lead Mycroft to the ambulance. Mycroft let the EMT enter the ambulance first. It really was shoulder to shoulder. Every space of the ambulance was filled with paramedic and equipment. Sherlock didn't even look like Sherlock. His curly hair was wet with sweat and blood and his chest was exposed showing large bloody dressings. The bag mask that was supposed to be attached to him was lying on the stretcher next to him. Mycroft's heart sunk and his stomach dropped at exactly the same time. Sherlock wasn't going to come back from this. His legs were weakening. His eyes stinging and his mouth was dry. The realization crept over him slowly but all together all consuming. It was going to have lasting effects. "I'm sorry Mr Holmes but your brother has died" a voice said from beside him. He had gone blind his eyes clouded by red. He could only see Sherlock unblinking staring at the ceiling of the ambulance. Someone must have realized that this looked terrible because the blanket covering him was moved over his head and Mycroft was forced from the ambulance. That was it the last time Mycroft would see him and it was the most terrible thing and the most terrible way. Why had they let him in the ambulance? Why had he even ordered to see him. He would need to rub his eyes about a million times to un see what he had seen. Shit now he had to tell John and Lestrade. He couldn't even breathe properly through the heavy feeling in his chest. The door of the ambulance flung open nearly knocking Mycroft out. "Sir, Mr Holmes he's okay he's alive" Mycroft didn't even know how that was possible but he believed it anyway.
"Well Mr Holmes" the paramedic started "We don't think it was in his lungs and his heart was working perfectly fine apart from the lack of blood none of his organs or were affected. We managed to control the bleeding before starting him on RSI and the blood from around his lungs was drained in the ambulance. It was a tension hemothorax that was causing him to stop breathing. Normally people don't do so well with RSI but when we stopped he started breathing on his own."
Mycroft is a very rational person and this took him some time to process. One minute his brother was dead and the next he was alive and breathing. This is a huge amount of news and can take longer than normal for anyone to process. Mycroft had processed it in about ten seconds. Mycroft wasn't just 'normal'. The doors slammed shut the ambulance took off lights and sirens blaring. Mycroft didn't even get time to tell Lestrade and John he was alive. They could wait and Sherlock wasn't leaving in that ambulance without him. John lept at the sound of sirens. He threw off the blanket the police had draped over him and watched in horror as the ambulance sped off with out him.
"Follow that bloody ambulance!"
