A/N: Hello again dear Readers….as you peruse this chapter you will notice that some "things" are out of order (according to the show) but remember I told you this was AU and Non-Canon so I am woefully aware of the ambiguity – don't hate me for it but it works for the story.

Carry on…..


Fantasies

Three Hours Earlier (4:00 pm)

"Kelso, quit acting like a 'tard and just put the helmet on." Hyde pushed his aviators further up the bridge of his nose and settled back in his chair waiting for the taller teen to comply. Michael Kelso looked at the old yellow football helmet and hollered, "Hey! There's bite marks on this thing!"

Fez glanced up from his bag of Hershey Kisses and deduced logically, "That was from the time you wore it in the canoe ride down Eric's driveway. Remember? You almost broke your nose and the helmet saved your face."

"Yeah Kelso, does your face still hurt?" Hyde asked.

Kelso ran a hand over his smooth chin and cheeks, "No. Why?"

"Cuz it's killing me!" Hyde laughed at his play on words while Eric smirked behind his Marvel comic book. He never got tired of a good Kelso burn. Setting the comic down on his lap, Eric leaned over to snag a Kiss from Fez's candy bag. The brown boy slapped his hand, "Hey! You may have my women but you ASK before you have my candy!"

Eric grinned and rubbed the red mark on the back of his hand. Who knew Fez could hit harder than a girl. "Man, if you bring candy to the basement then you have to share with me."

Kelso leapfrogged over the back of the sofa settling in the middle between his two friends. Fez smiled at the handsome teen while Eric leaned back, candy-less, against the cushions. Kelso slid a hand into the waistband at the top of his pants and let out a long sigh. "Yep guys, you're gonna miss me when I go to the academy."

Hyde hooked one booted foot over the other on the old wooden spool that replaced a regular coffee table. "Yeah…we're really gonna miss you. What about your kid?"

Kelso leaned forward, resting an elbow on Eric's knee. "I gotta be a good dad for my kid ya know? Right now I'm a ….right now I'm a…Fez, what am I?"

Fez balanced a Kiss on the end of his nose. "You are a very attractive Jon to my Ponch."

Eric sniggered, "You guys are so not CHiPs cops."

Kelso envisioned himself riding a police motorcycle while the rhythmic backbeat of a disco music soundtrack played in his head. "Ma'am, can you step out of your car in those lovely stiletto heels? I'm afraid I have to give you a ticket."

"Oh! You handsome officer!" The beautiful buxomly blonde exclaimed, bouncing her bodacious boobs around for Officer Michael Kelso. "Why are you afraid to give little old me a ticket?"

Kelso stood a little taller and tipped his mirrored aviators and replied with a suave grin, "INow, I'm afraid I might have to arrest you."

The blonde pressed a nicely manicured hand against her cleavage and gasped, "Arrest me? Arrest me for what?"

Officer Kelso smiled that charming white toothed smile and replied, "Ma'am, I'll have to arrest you for breaking my heart. It's a citable offense. Now if you'll just slide onto the back of my motorcycle…."

Ssscccrrreeecccchhhhh!

"There is no freaking way that could happen Kelso." Hyde's voice broke the older teen's fantasy. "There is no law for heartbreaking."

Eric held up one finger, "…and if there was…then Donna would have my ass in prison for cancelling the wedding."

Fez nodded. "And Jackie would have Hyde in jail for sleeping with that beautiful nurse…." Fez's mind drifted back to a sponge bath dream.

"Shut your pie hole." Hyde growled. Even though it was true and his relationship with Jackie had been smoothed over – the truth hurt.

"OWWW!" Kelso covered his right bicep with his left palm after Hyde gave him a good slug to the arm. "No more fantasies all right? ALL RIGHT?"

Eric didn't want to get slugged so he changed the subject. "So…Hyde…how about that car that runs on water?"

Laughing, Kelso slammed the yellow football helmet on Eric's head. "Now who's the king?" Eric shook his head sadly and tugged the yellow helmet off while smoothing his hair back in place.

Fez stood up, "This is getting boring. Hyde…we haven't done a circle in a long time…."

Steven Hyde grinned delightfully, "Yeah, I know….it just so happens…."

Eric slid into his own fantasy….Donna was running towards him wearing a flowing red gown and her toenails were polished a bright poppy red. She had this sultry "c'mon big boy" expression on her face.

Eric reached a hand down from the saddle of his Tauntaun (his favored Star Wars animal) and pulled his lovely girlfriend up and behind him on the seat. He glanced back and replied, "This may smell bad…kid…but it'll keep you warm…"

Donna laughed in to the wind as they rode off towards his land cruiser.

Ssscccrrreeecccchhhhh!

Eric inhaled deeply and held it for a few seconds before expelling the smoke with an "It could happen! Well maybe not in this lifetime or...galaxy… but you don't know that."

Fez grinned and took a hit off the skinny joint. "I know Eric, you are always thinking about Luke and Leia but is it because your name has four letters and so does Luke? Or is it because Leia has four letters and so does Donna?"

Hyde leaned across the spool and smacked Fez on the side of his head, "You doofus, Donna has five letters!"

Kelso looked up. "Is one of those letters for me? I mean cuz I haven't been getting any mail lately." He looked right and left as if his friends had the answer to his postal delivery problem.

Eric shrugged his shoulders and laughed prompting Hyde to smirk, "Yeah, that's it….the mailman hates you."

Kelso's eyes got wide. "I know! Last weekend I was getting some letters for my mom and that dude shot me in the eyes with that spray they use on dogs! That hurt man! I tried to wash it out and my eyes got all red."

Fez giggled, "I wonder….if it's a girl…is she called a fe-mail man?"

Hyde rolled his eyes and reached for his paper bag. "Oh jeez… I'm out. This is the last of it guys. Smoke up because I need to make a call."

Kelso stood up and smoothed out his Polo shirt. "Well, if you're making a call, can you contact the post office and tell them that they have evil mail delivery guys?"

Eric laughed and yawned, "Sure Kelso, we'll do that just for you." Eric moved from his chair to follow Hyde up the basement stairs. Fez called out, "Who are you calling?"

Hyde paused, leaned down on the steps and replied, "Leo. I need him to hook me up."

Eric splayed his hands, "I'll drive!"


A/N: What could possible happen now? Make sure you don't miss the next chapter….or two….Happy reading!