Thanks for the reviews guys! I delayed updating because for some reason I had 20 reviews as a minimum in my head, but oh well, 18 is still awesome!Love all your support, especially when you say your fave bits. This is the Rocky Horror show, so hi to NinjaWizardGleek15 who requested it!


Auditorium. Will is trying to pull a face to show regret and guilt. Instead it looks like someone doing a decent impression of Orangutan.

Mr Shue: Alright, voice over time! Insert hilarious pun about Rocky Horror and horror here. Gosh, I'm clever. Anyways, I am going to be the one learning a lesson today, not the kids!

END SCENE.


Choir room.

Mike: Mr Shue, I was thinking: Why don't we do a performance of the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Mr Shue: No Mike. That wouldn't work. Besides, I have the next two weeks of one-word lessons planned and everyone knows that phrase has four words in it.

Emma walks past. She is wearing 'I heart my boyfriend and the Rocky Horror picture show.' T-Shirt.

Rachel: Mr Shue, now can we do Rocky Horror?

Mr Shue shakes his head. Isn't Emma so pretty? I wonder where she manages to find all those items of clothing in bold shades of yellow? She truly is amazing.

Emma comes into the choir room

Emma: Hi Will, look at me. (Throws grapes at Finn's head. Finn, somewhat adorably delirious, passes it back to her. She catches it in her mouth. Then picks up a five day old pizza from the floor and eats it) I'm cured! Well of my OCD I mean. Don't worry, we'll leave the virginity issue for the time being. So anyways it's all because of ROCKY HORROR!

Will: Oh my gosh! I just had the most amazing idea that it is no way related to your speech! Guys, why don't we do the Rocky Horror show as the musical this year? Please give me a round of applause.

Mike: I already said that? (rolls eyes)

Will: Shut up Mike! I let you background dance and comically sing off-tune last lesson and this is how you repay me? To think I was going to let you say 2 lines in today's closing number! Ha-Ha, you will never achieve your dream now! (laughs evilly) Anyways, we are going to do this, because I'm in love with Emma.

Emma: What?

Mr Shue: Because I'm in love with the idea of freedom and expression!

Emma: Oh, that makes sense. Quick question: Why are you all taking notes? He hasn't said anything of importance yet?

Mercedes: Don't worry Mrs P. I'm just trying to look busy in the background. Instead I'm writing a list of ways I can bring 'hell to the nah' into the conversation. I haven't used it for a whole 3 minutes.

Artie: PREACH! I'm trying to make a list of ways that it would be plausible to believe that I am offended because Brittany slept with me. I mean look at what I'm wearing! No one else will ever have sex with me in the history of the universe.

Mr Shue: Now I have been pretty groundbreaking in my choice of casting. There are no similarities between yourself and the parts you will play. Artie: you are playing the guy in the wheelchair when everyone knows….. oh well Finn and Rachel you are playing a geeky couple, that love each other but will eventually cheat due to bizarre and unrealistic circumstances, which is totally not….. fine! Kurt, you can play the one in women's clothes because you never wear skirts. Oh, forget this! Someone just give me another round of applause.

Mike: Can I play Frankfurter instead?

Mr Shue: Great! (Mr Shue reaches over to his 'things to do notebook.' The follow items are listed.

Have revenge sex with Terri.

Casually mention to Santana that she slept with Finn to ensure she still remembers and can bring it up in a few weeks time.

Get Puck sent to Jail because he's getting dull.

Win Emma over and then treat her badly. (See Finn and Rachel, Season 1, Back 9, for inspiration)

He adds to it.

Send Mike Chang's parents death threats to ensure they make their son withdraw from the play. It is crucial no one hears him sing.

Mr Shue: Right, well that's everyone assigned who is of significance. The rest of you can just swap parts, no one's interested in you. Quinn-your not getting a lead until you cheat on Sam, Kurt- get someone to bully you again and perhaps we'll talk.

Sam: Err, hello! Aren't you forgetting me? I got rave reviews as the dorky adorable new guy last week. (begins to speak in Avatar language. Quinn pretends to faint at the adorableness, then slaps him)

Mr Shue: Yes Sam. Now unfortunately I couldn't find a character that's actually in the shower, but I have got the next best thing...

END SCENE.


Finn and Rachel in the auditiorium.

Finn: Shouldn't we be in class?

Rachel: No Finn, if we are to prepare, rehearse and perform this in the span of 2 days then we must begin immediately.

Finn: Fine. Hey Rachel, even though I am usually full of it, I totally hate my body. Please note this will not be mentioned again when I become a total man whore and start winking at random.

Rachel: Can I just say, we've been going for around 3 months and I totally seduced you by delivering a whole speech on why sex is great. How is it not possible, that I have not seen your shirt off?

Finn: Rachel, I have a ton of questions to ask you when we stop making out. For example, why have I overlooked that last week I kept trying to touch your boobs and now your going to be in your underwear! Shouldn't I be mailmaning already? (looks confused).

Rachel: Adorable hug to detract from the issue?

Finn: Totally.

(they hug)

END SCENE.


Sue's office.

Sue: I'm going to do something evil whilst wearing a tracksuit and referring to myself in the third person. ORIGINAL!

END SCENE


Finn and Rachel are preparing to perform Dammit, Janet.

Santana: I know about Finn's disgusting body y'all! I am not going to reveal how, but I be going to drop a hint! Rachel will be totally oblivious to it as usual.

Mr Shue: Not for another three weeks Santana!

Rachel: I love my boyfriend, stop being mean!

Quinn: Err, why, he never defends you under any circumstances? I'm the only one he defends.

Santana: Also, I'd like to add a comment to show Artie has now became a total jackass.

Artie: PREACH! I am horrifically sexist, yet look at what I'm wearing. It makes no sense people.

Will gives a reprimanding look. Then starts to apply hair gel.

Rachel: One of these days you are actually going to have to yell at us Mr Shue. Those looks can only get you so far.

Mr Shue: Rachel, I only shout at girls. The guys scare me.

Finn and Rachel begin to sing. Finn jumps up to the top of the stairs and then walks down them. Suddenly, Santana and Brittany begin making out. Outside a bunch of footballers begin to fight each other. Sam takes off his shirt and rubs baby oil on his abs.

Mr Shue: WOAH! Stop right there, I can't take this anymore!

Finn: What's the matter Mr Shue?

Mr Shue: Get the fuck away from my board Finn. Call that a heart? It is sloppily drawn and appears to keep changing in shape whilst you sing. This won't do!

Santana: Err, what about us making out?

Kurt: We must ignore that or my being gay won't be a special.

Mr Shue: Exactly and everyone knows it's Beiste's job to break up a football fight so…

Artie: Watching Finn and Rachel make is less exciting without the constant thrill of Finn accidentally touching her boob. PREACH!

Mike: Err you can't preach yourself man!

Artie hangs head in shame.

END SCENE


Sam, Finn and Artie are in the gym. Artie is using the smallest weights ever invented.

Sam: So to conclude, despite eating at Breadsticks last week, today I will eat no food. (lifts up shirt to show abs) Man I wish the showers weren't out of order, so I wouldn't have to do this part of the day with clothes on.

Finn: Dude, be careful. I think Mercedes has all the food storylines this year. Try to diversify.

Artie: PREACH!

Sam: Why are you even working out in here?

Artie: Oh because I've come up with another catchphrase. Just carry on with your conversation and I'll fit it in naturally.

Sam: Forget geeky sam, douche-bag Sam is here!

Artie: DAMN STRAIGHT! Do you love it? I love it, right?

Finn: I'd stick to preach.

Artie starts to cry.

END SCENE.


Auditorium. Dress rehearsal.

Finn: Remember, I'm very insecure about my body.

Mr Shue: Sssh, I'm trying to make out with Emma!

Emma: Er Sam, I am pretty sure those are not the shorts I gave you, as this would be both unprofessional and inappropriate? It's not like anyone is wearing a PVC corset in this thing, right?

Sam: Oh I know. The outfit you gave me was kind of long so I cut it. It's about the abs Mrs P.

Mike: Who is that one person sitting behind you both? Why has no one noticed him? It is creepy.

Rachel faints and does the best facial expression since Kurt's pretending to be straight and in love with Rachel. Mr Shue, please take note!

END SCENE


Finn and Sam, in the gym.

Finn: I've just come to say it's your own fault your dyslexic. You never attend any classes! Everyone knows I took 2 whole Spanish classes last year.

Sam: My dyslexia will never be mentioned again. Finn, just let the sexy flow through!

Finn: Totally!

Artie storms in.: So I can't get away with "Damn straight" but he can pull of 'Let the sexy flow through?' Could you try any harder to get a bi-sexual storyline in six months time?

Kurt: For the last time, there is only one gay person in this school and that's me. Oh hello Sam, I thought I'd find you here. (begins to take photographs of Sam)

Finn: Why are you here? You sure seem to be in a lot more places that last year. Right, I'm going to take all my clothes off to prove an important point about self-identity.

Kurt: This year is about my fight for tolerance and acceptance Finn. Therefore I appear in most storylines now, even if completely irrelevant. Deal with it!

Sam: Er, no Finn. Listen carefully to my message again. Let's just rewind. That's not what I said. Just listen. Did I mention removing your clothes? At any point, did I say that?

(Finn shrugs and takes off T-Shirt. Kurt faints.)

Finn: I have to show my abs too Sam. Not everyone finds your deranged Beiber looks attractive. By taking off my clothes, we will appeal to a wider base of teenager girls. You know the ones that find very tall thirty year old men attractive.

Artie: Should I do it too?

Sam and Finn in unison: NO!

Sam: Dude, it's all about my abs! Put that T-Shirt on immediately!

(Finn runs through the corridor in his boxers. Sam eats a single dorrito and then begins to cry.)

Artie (trying to comfort Sam) Er... PREACH?

END SCENE


Choir room.

Mr Shue: So, I know you have learnt important messages. Like wearing no clothes will lead to empty threats of suspension unless your Sam, or Rachel during Britney week.

Sam (wearing a T-Shirt that says 'I'm a bigger douche than Finn...' on the front. On the back it says '…until after the Superbowl' Or that a person can change vastly in personality in a short space of time?

Mr Shue nods.

Artie: Or that Brittany and Santana can ignore each other, then be best friends, then go on to ignore each other again in future weeks?

Mr Shue applauds.

Finn: Or that we can spend a whole week putting back the feminist movement and talking about why our girlfriends won't put out?

Mr Shue: No that's next week Finn.

Finn: Oh yeah.

Mr Shue: But the most important lesson I have learnt is to let Emma move on. Which means I will never base another lesson around her. Or change the order at Sectionals at the last minute to meet her approval.

Finn: Yeah, good luck with that one. Look how many times I've been a douche to Rachel and I've still not learnt my lesson.

END SCENE.


So that's it. Next chapter will probably be NBK because it airs in the UK on Monday. If you LOLed, please review,I love them so much! PREACH!