It took Yoshi exactly twenty-two seconds to fly up the stairs of limbo and burst out into the rectangle of light. He was blinded by the incandescence of it, and the sheer turbulence of his emotions isolated him from the existence of being, so that no amount of external stimuli could wake him from his state of raw emotions and energy. The mental burden of the trauma, and the sudden release of it as his entire body became inundated with an overwhelming surge of relief, forced Yoshi to plop down onto the ground as he shuddered and wheezed and panted greatly with his tongue lolling out.

Now was the time for rest, now was the time for recovering his bearings. He closed his eyes and inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, filling his lungs with the glorious oxygen of air untainted by age and dust. His heart beat madly in a state of heightened panic, and the bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum of it reverberated in the confines of his skull, so that it was all he heard, as if he had locked himself inside one of the chambers of his own heart.

Slowly, gradually, the heave of his chest grew smaller and smaller, the gasps of his breaths became lighter and lighter. Dimly he grew aware of some gentle force pressing repeatedly against a part of his body. Garbled noise of the outside world began to drown the beatings of his decelerating heart. With great effort Yoshi's eyes fluttered open. He saw a blur of a face, a mesh of yellow and brown overtones that tried to form itself into a distinct shape. He closed his eyes again, shook his head. The panic and the relief and the shock of it all were slowly dissipating now, freeing their stifling control over his brain. The floodgates were opening, and his thoughts, memories, and senses were returning in dangerous overdrive.

"Little Yoshi, shall I call your mommy?"

Yoshi's eyes flew open. It was a Rito, and her cartoonishly huge eyes, the slight droop of the crevice of her beak, showed nothing but concern as she lightly tapped his shoulder. Yoshi looked down at tanned skin of her arm, a brilliant contrast to the snowy feathers of her wing that curved out from the purple sleeves of her robe.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

The room, the apple – the sudden loss of control over his own body. Yoshi's eyes widened, and with a flash he grabbed the Rito's arm like a vice. She let out a small shriek as he looked at her dead in the eyes. He attempted to speak, but his tongue flopped like a useless fish in his mouth, and it took a series of incomprehensible moans before he could find his words.

"Call –" he wheezed, and cleared his throat. He was aware, suddenly, how every single shopper had stopped in his or her tracks to stare at him. Why at him, though? Did they not see the gaping hole of the descent to hell behind him? He shook his head again, and spoke, louder this time. "Call security. Call the police. Call the manager – call whoever's in charge of this damn place!" With a shuddering arm he pushed himself back up to his feet, letting go of the Rito, who immediately proceeded to take a few steps back.

"There's a fucking madhouse down there," Yoshi nearly shouted, his voice a schizophrenic vehicle of sound that varied largely in noise and stability with every word it communicated. He pointed behind him, refusing, even now, to cast his eyes into the portal to the supernatural world of horrors. "Whoever built that in here is a fucking madman. I was locked in there – apple forced me to almost eat him – call –"

Yoshi stopped as he realized that the Rito was backing away even further now. The concern in her eyes was all but gone, replaced instead by fear – fear of him. He looked around. The same expression was reflected on everyone else's face, the same fear communicated in their eyes. For the first time in what seemed like a long time, an emotion akin to anger welled up inside of Yoshi, and he felt himself ripping open his vocal cords as he yelled, "Don't believe me? Look behind me! Go into it yourself! Go on – look –"

Yoshi turned around, and felt himself being immediately silenced. There was nothing there, nothing but the cheerful yellow spread of a blank wall.

"I – but –" Yoshi sputtered.

"Little Yoshi," the Rito said, and this time her voice shook almost as much as Yoshi's, "shall I call the asylum?"

"This ain't Arkham," Yoshi muttered as he walked forward and placed his hands against the wall. Solid force pushed back, and all of a sudden Yoshi's head began to spin. The very thread of logic and sanity threatened to unravel, and all of a sudden down was up, up was down, nothing existed, everything was cardboard, everything was plastic – the apple!

He constricted the muscles of his secondary stomach, sifting aside the mess of the contents, until he felt it – round and smooth, ice to the raw muscles of his organ. Yoshi shuddered. Here then, was proof, concrete evidence, that all that had transpired was not an illusion of insanity. The apple was a physical manifestation of conflict and contradiction. It had been pure evil, and yet here it was gushing comfort and guidance into him through the fact of its own existence. He turned around, confident now that he had won. What had once drained him of his own free will was now supplying him with strength and conviction. "I can prove it," he announced. "Here, take a look!"

Yoshi had thrust his hand in front of his mouth and was just about to spit the apple out when something flashed in his mind. It was the torturous memory of feeling his right of choice, his own independent thinking, himself becoming siphoned away from existence as the evil forces of the apple asserted dominance over the shell of his body. It had happened when he had first cast his eyes upon its deceivingly soothing light, the red glow that promised comfort and security. What then, would happen if he spat out the apple for all to see, for all to fall under its dark magic – including himself? An irrepressible shudder shook his entire body, and Yoshi lowered his hand. No, no – the apple must remain out of sight. For the second time that day, a narrow disaster had just barely been avoided, and the sudden turn of events, the sudden understanding of the weight of certain decision, strangely instilled an odd calm into him. "Right then," he muttered. "Well – I guess that's that. Carry on, folks. Nothing more to see –"

'YOSHI!'

The dinosaur jumped what must have been ten feet into the air as Lucario's voice boomed inside his skull. All the shoppers turned to the source of the telepathy. Lucario, obviously, had not taken pains to keep his voice private.

"Lu – Lucario!" Yoshi stammered weakly as he look in horror at the seething Pokémon advancing towards him. "I – I was just looking for you! How you been, 'mon?"

Lucario stopped barely an inch from Yoshi. The dinosaur could feel the warm breath of rage wash over his nose, and for a delirious second he found himself wishing that he could go back to being locked inside the room.

'So,' Lucario's voice oozed of silky venom that drenched terror into Yoshi's brain. 'Had a good meal?'

"Yeah, yeah! It was – it was fantastic! It was great!" Yoshi gulped, and eyed the bags of grocery and assorted merchandise hanging from Lucario's balled paws. "Did you – err – have a good shopping trip?"

The bags dropped to the floor as Yoshi felt his entire body being swooped into the air by his neck. The shoppers issued a collective gasp of surprise as Lucario began to Force Palm Yoshi multiple times across his face.

'Yoshi' – SMACK – 'you' – BWAP – 'immature' – DOOSH – 'irresponsible' – SMASH – 'fucking' – KA-POW – 'Girafarighole –'

With each strike Yoshi let out a choked whimper of pain. A Goron and a Pokémon trainer bounded forward and pulled Lucario away, causing the dinosaur, moaning and groaning, to drop to the ground with a pathetic flop.

"Calm down, brother!" the Goron rumbled in his deep voice.

"Don't make a scene here, Lucario, or I'm forcing you into my Master Ball," the trainer threatened half-jokingly as he slapped Lucario in his back.

"Yeah, Lucario," Yoshi wheezed from the floor. "Where's your dignity?"

Lucario buried his eyes in his paw, taking deep, deep, breaths. He wrestled free from the grip of the Goron and the trainer, and walked forward to Yoshi, who was writhing in pain on the ground. 'Get up,' he ordered coldly. Yoshi complied almost immediately, getting to his feet even as his entire body shook violently. Lucario thrust the bags into his arms. 'You're carrying these, and a peep out of you and I swear I'm going to make sure Kirby cooks us dinosaur meat for dinner tonight,' Lucario warned. Yoshi gulped and could only nod.

Turning around, Lucario exchanged brief glances of thanks to the intercepting duo, before addressing the crowd with his telepathy: 'I seek your apology for the commotion we have created. It was not our intention to create such a scene of mindless and irrational violence. Please forgive us, and do not let this isolated incident mar the otherwise good name of Smashers.' With that, Lucario gave a bow, and raised a paw to smack Yoshi's head down.

"Oof!" Yoshi cried.

"Hold on," a voice quipped up from the crowd. "You two are Smashers?"

'Indeed we are,' Lucario said, and his chest inflated briefly with pride. 'I'm the one and only Lucario, and this idiot here is the one and only Yoshi.'

There was an outburst of mumbling, a mixture of astonishment, wonder, and – hold on a minute. Lucario frowned. Was that a mild trace of suppressed outrage he was detecting? That was new. Immediately he put two and two together and glared at Yoshi. 'What did you do this time?' Yoshi could only shrug.

Lucario's question, however, was answered quickly enough. "I'd watch that Yoshi if I were you, young 'mon!" an elderly Goomba wheezed as he stared at the direction of Yoshi. "Of all the Yoshis I've met in my life – a very odd selection to be a Smasher, and a disgrace to the good name of Yoshis upheld by others of his brethren!"

'Oh? And what did he do this time, may I ask?' Lucario asked, barely keeping his tone from being sardonic.

There was an outburst of noise as several angry voices suddenly began to rise.

"Tortured that Rito, the poor thing! She was only trying to help!"

"Going on and on about some room behind him –"

"Ridiculous thing about an evil apple –"

The crescendo of jabber and gossip grew louder and louder. Lucario impaled Yoshi with a look of pure steel. 'So, care to explain what this is about?'

For a split second Yoshi wanted to cry, to bawl his eyes out, to break down and splurge everything that happened, no matter how insane it sounded. He wanted to spit out the apple, despite the knowledge of its power, despite the fact that it would be exactly what it wanted, so that there was at least an ounce of truth to the empty words he had spoken. Everything, everyone, had been so antagonistic to him – Lucario, the shoppers, the cruel twist of fate that ordered the disappearance of the mysterious room so that he was nothing but a lying delinquent in the eyes of the world. He wanted, even if it was for a single instant, to elicit a potion of sympathy, to attract a morsel of empathy, to relieve a fraction of the huge weight of unnecessary guilt that he was saddling. Simply put, he wanted to cry.

But no. He was not one to let the tides of sadness mar the character he had built for himself: Cool, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, cute, innocent, always smiling. And so, instead of crying, he laughed.

"Yoshiyoshiyoshiyoshiyoshi!" Guffaws, giggles, great gasps of laughter. Even Lucario was shocked as Yoshi doubled up, bending forward and holding his stomach in exaggerated fashion. He felt the coldness of the apple dig into the walls of his stomach… But no, ignore it, push it aside. Out of sight, out of mind. That's it… Out of sight, out of mind.

"You should have seen them, Lucario! I had them good! They were all convinced that I was some escapee of a mental hospital before you came and ruined it all!" Yoshi stood back up, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "They were gonna call Batman on my tail, I swear! They thought I should be locked up in Arkham or something!"

The silence returned, even heavier than before. Everyone, including Lucario, was struggling with the audacity of Yoshi's words as they sank into the minds of the shoppers, who, until now, were certain they had been witnesses to the actions of a mentally deranged dinosaur.

"So it was all a trick?" a confused girl from the Mother universe asked.

"A prank," Yoshi said gleefully.

Once again the noise level was rising as thoughts and opinions were exchanged. Some were shaking their heads, not in disbelief, but in steadily rising realization of the truth of his words. Yoshi was, after all, always a big joker, wasn't he? That's what he and Ness and Toon Link and a couple of the other young ones were known for… Boy, he sure did have them, alright. That Yoshi, he was one hell of an actor. Could he have been a graduate of the Yoshi Theater Company? Even the Rito was laughing it off now, telling everyone how convincing he had been. What a good-natured girl. Ah, but why did he do it? Why pretend to be crazy, when there were so many other lighter, more innocent pranks that were more fitting of him?

"I'm ambitious, what can I say?" Yoshi shook his head. "Gets a bit boring to always just drop eggs on people's head, you know? But man, this is probably gonna be the last time I ever do something as grand as this. The reaction was not what I was looking for!"

He gave a short little bow, and, arms laden with items from Lucario's shopping, turned to general direction of the exit. "Come on, Lucy!" he called out to the Pokémon, who stood still amidst the haze of his own confusion. "We're already running late! Gotta get these things to the people who ordered them, before they start complaining how much of a slacker you are!"

'Err… Right…' Following Yoshi's suit, Lucario gave another awkward bow to the crowd, which was already beginning to dissipate on account of Yoshi's departure. As Lucario walked past them, he heard some even express their respect and pride for Yoshi – "That's the green dinosaur we all know and love." "Had me completely ruined for a moment there! I thought our Nintendo universe was beginning to break down or something!" "Charmander charmander char!"

Secretly, Lucario was glad. Running away, neglecting his shopping duties, prioritizing food over duty – that was something completely expected of Yoshi, even if it drove Lucario up the wall way more than that one time an orgy of Zubats had Confuse Rayed him to near-faint. The moment of lunacy that Yoshi had apparently displayed was something completely out of character, and for a while there Lucario had felt a little fazed by this disequilibria in Yoshi's actions. It was therefore a tremendous relief to learn that it all had been another one of Yoshi's prank, even if the nature of the prank itself encompassed a slightly sinister nature – since when did Yoshi ever pretend to be out of his mind? But whatever. He had explained it himself: He had wanted to try out something new, had expressed his regret over the fact that he did not get the reaction he was hoping for.

For the slightest second, as Lucario hurried to catch up with Yoshi, he couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of grudging respect for the dino. But then he caught sight of the shopping items that were resting on Yoshi's back, items he was forced to buy on his own, and the superficial anger that results from even the smallest injustice returned in full force as the two Smashers exited the warmth of the mall to once again combat the harsh winter cold.