I
Tony woke up three nights later finally feeling refreshed. He'd had three good night's sleep with no interruptions other than to wake up from dreams he'd hoped were reality. None of them however were but he tried not to dwell on it. The third morning he woke he felt really energetic and hyped. He wanted to get to work and just….shoot things. He opened his phone and saw seven messages. He frowned. Never did he have that many. He grinned feeling popular. He frowned when he saw they were all from the same person. It didn't make him feel quite so popular but he didn't let that ruin his- finally- happy mood.
He grabbed his breakfast and read the messages from Keats. "Hey…x"
"Haven't heard from you in three days"
"You okay?"
"This case must be hard, huh"
"Date this Friday?"
"Only if you're free"
"I have this great restaurant we could go to…how about it?"
"I miss you"
Tony scoffed into his Captain Crunch cereal. "Yeah, Keats…we all miss someone we love" he said aloud.
Hey typed out a response to her saying "Friday sounds good, see ya then" and stood up to leave for work. When he got there he was running a little late but even his bosses hard stare didn't falter him. "What has Special Agent DiNozzo, friend of the ladies, missed?" He asked the other agents.
"Nothing. There has been no case, no nothing. Why is nothing happening?" Bishop whined.
Tony raised his eyebrows "You're complaining that no one's been killed? Really Bishop? I'm celebrating. No one is dying"
Bishop rolled her eyes and sat on her desk tapping the edge. "I'm bored" She said.
Abby clumped into the room excited "Guess what, guess what, guess what?"
No one really paid her any attention so she blurted something out her mouth she immediately regretted when she saw the look on their faces, Tony especially. "Ziva messaged me"
Tony stood up from his seat and looked at her "What" He said shocked and slightly hurt.
Abby's eyes widened and she froze "I-I was…I didn't mean to say that"
"Well I could understand if she didn't want you to tell us but is she okay? What did she say?"
Abby shook her head "That's not what I meant…she didn't message me"
They all looked at her shocked. "Abs…why would you say that?" Gibbs said gently trying not to bite her head off.
"No one was listening to me"
Tony looked wounded "But of all things you could have said why that? You could have told us that you were pregnant or getting married"
Abby nodded and looked guilty at the floor "I'm sorry"
Tony sighed and sat down putting his head in his hands. They all sat in silence for a minute before Gibbs spoke up "What did you need?"
Abby looked around "It's not actually important. She turned on her heel and hurried out before anyone could stop her. The other three in the room looked at Tony and Gibbs said one thing before walking out "Don't make the wrong choice"
He went down to Abby who was sat in her lab her head hidden in her hands. "Gibbs…does Tony hate me?"
Gibbs laughed lightly "Tony could never hate you. He's just…" Gibbs didn't know what to say. He knew exactly what Tony was doing and maybe what he was feeling but he didn't know how to put it into words.
"He's what Gibbs? Disappointed? Angry?"
"No…he's…struggling…"
"With what? Ziva left a year and a half ago."
"Abby you don't understand what it's like. You saying that gave him false hope. That is not what he needs. And he doesn't need to be pushed into moving on from Ziva. Into other relationships. He needs to move at his own pace. He needs to move on when and if he's ready"
Abby's bottom lip quivered and she let a few tears spill. "I just want him to be him again, Gibbs."
Gibbs nodded and then pulled her into a hug. There were no words spoken. "Sometimes we all want things we can't have."
"Who was it that said the heart wants what it wants?" Abby asked.
"Ziva"
Abby looked at Gibbs. "Why did she have to go?"
Gibbs said nothing again and kissed her on the side of the head. He looked at her and they stood there not saying anything until Tony walked in. "Can I have a word, Boss?" he asked. Gibbs nodded and they walked out. They got in the elevator and Gibbs stopped it immediately.
Tony cleared his throat "I was thinking about what you said. 'Don't make the wrong choice'. You said it when we were talking about Keats and then when…Ziva…was mentioned. You think I'm doing what you did? You think I've made the wrong choice with Keats?"
Gibbs was silent letting Tony go on. "Gibbs…I know you care….you show it in your actions and you've never said it directly but it's in the what you say. I know you care about us…all. But you need to let me learn myself in my actions…let me take the fall. I know you've experienced it all and you know how hard it is…but I think I need this…If it goes badly I will learn…I know how this must sound…and yeah…I love Ziva…nothing is going to change that but…" he stopped himself after he realised he'd admitted for the first time aloud to anyone else that he loved Ziva.
Gibbs just looked at him in understanding. "I know" was all he said before flicking the switch. Tony was confused about what his boss knew. All of it? The first bit or him loving Ziva?
Friday came quickly and Tony sat in the Squadroom after work waiting for Keats. She arrived and he stood as she walked over to him in a tight dress. Images of Ziva in a similar outfit flashed through his mind. Keats could be Ziva's sister they looked and acted that much alike. The only real difference was their attitude, their pasts and their speech. She smiled down at him as she reached his desk "You ready to go?" She asked.
He nodded not trusting himself to speak. They walked out together and Keats drove them to the 'restaurant' she had told him about. It was actually just a blanket stretched out on grass by a pond. "I thought this would be okay…what do you think?" She questioned.
Tony looked at the woman who sat next to him. Then thought about the woman who had sat across from him for eight years. He had so many reasons he loved that one but the one with him now he had only one reason for liking her. She reminded him of his first love. He realised what he'd have to do tonight and swallowed. "Yeah…" He whispered.
She took his quiet tone as a positive sign and got out. He followed suit and walked with her to the blanket and sat down. "I need to talk…"
"I wanted to say…"
They both started at the same time. Tony nodded to her letting her go first. "I wanted to say how much I've really enjoyed…being with you. I know this isn't me…and I don't usually go all softie like this but…I have really enjoyed just spending time with you and stuff…I look forward to seeing where it's gonna go" Keats said a smile playing at her lips.
Tony ran his hand through his hair. He really shouldn't have let her speak first. "Yeah…well…that's kinda what I wanted to talk about as well" Keats looked hopeful but the words Tony spoke next made that look leave her face pretty swiftly. "I can't do this anymore. I was pushed into it and I thought it was what I wanted…what I needed but…I was wrong…I know I should have told you before but I only really found out myself today…well in the past half hour. I'm sorry for…leading you to believe it would be anything else but…I can't, Keats….I'm sorry"
She sat there and stared at him "This is a joke…right?"
Tony shook his head and looked away. The next thing he knew was he was covered in water and there was Keats yelling at him "I hate you! I can't believe you'd just play me around, like you do every other woman! I'm not a toy and I don't intend to be treated like one!"
Tony tried to make the situation less awkward from him by standing up and saying "It's like you said…I play around with girls a lot….I'm not very good at commitments"
Keats growled and hurled another glass of water at him and stormed off getting in the car and driving speedily away. "I deserved that" He muttered to himself.
He hailed at taxi who took him home and he sat on his sofa and just thought. He should have done it sooner and told Keats before but it only occurred to him today. After he'd properly thought about what Gibbs had said. He slapped himself upside the head for not listening to his boss sooner and also for letting Abby push him into it in the first place. He let the silence pull him into a light sleep.
I would firstly like to aplogise if I got Keats wrong. I don't watch any of the episodes with her becuase...well its Keats and I strongly dislike her. p.s. sorry if you like her Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you want you can feel free to check out my other ones :) please leave a review :)
