I am so sorry this took forever please don't hate me I was busy with school
"He didn't fucking turn up."
"I mean, no matter how much he hated me, he still should have turned up."
"I wrote a damned letter to him."
"IT WAS HANDWRITTEN."
"I mean, no matter how long we never talked we are still best friends aren't we."
"Well that's what I thought."
She takes another sip of wine.
"Not what he thought I guess."
Elizabeth Hedervary sat slumped in her chair, mumbling to herself as she took sip after sip from the near-empty glass.
"My brother was not feeling very well..."
Ludwig didn't know what to say to her.
"Brother didn't want to turn up because he wouldn't be able to take it"?
Ludwig couldn't tell her that Gilbert didn't want to turn up because the "love of his life" was getting married to someone else.
He couldn't bring himself to tell her how... broken Gilbert was.
"Just a shitty excuse suited for a shitty person like he is." Elizabeth took another sip.
Was she always like this when she gets drunk?
Ludwig will never know.
Only his brother would know how Elizabeth is always like when she gets drunk - his brother knows best about anything regarding her.
"Ah, Elizabeth, there you are."
Elizabeth's husband came over to where they were seated.
"Oh hullo Roderich. This is Ludwig. Ludwig Beilschmidt."
Elizabeth smiled.
She seemed like a different person altogether, in front of him.
"Hello Ludwig. I'm Roderich Edelstein. I hope you're enjoying yourself."
He stuck his hand out to shake Ludwig's.
"Yes, I am, thank you."
Ludwig shook his hand.
How can I possibly be enjoying myself if my Brother is wandering outside alone...
Ludwig was troubled.
Gilbert only seemed to be getting weaker and weaker, and that sudden outburst of energy earlier on seemed very peculiar.
Gilbert, who had difficulty walking from his bed to his reading table, was able to open the door of his room, get dressed, leave the house, with ease.
It was quite puzzling as to how Gilbert had managed to do all of that when he had trouble even lifting himself up from the table the day before.
After speaking with each other for awhile, Roderich walked away to speak with his family members and left Elizabeth and Ludwig alone.
"How's he doing now though? I mean. Besides that shitty excuse about him not feeling well." Elizabeth asks.
Well. He's broken. Not that he could tell her that though.
'Dying. Dissolving. Disappearing, whatever.'
Was what his brother would say.
"He's doing okay."
What else could he say?
Gilbert spent most of his time trying to annoy everyone else like how he usually did when he was still Prussia, but being a country and being "Just Gilbert" was too different.
No matter how much he tried, Gilbert could not behave like Prussia.
They were the same person.
But it was still too difficult, said Gilbert before.
"It just felt... different." He had said.
"You know... Your brother is actually really soft."
Elizabeth suddenly spoke. Her voice was just a soft murmur.
"S-Sorry?"
"Yeah he was tough and all. But he's really soft... right here."
She pointed at the left side of her chest.
"He's a real softie. He gets emotional real easily."
She sighs, but she's smiling.
"I should pay that jerk a visit some day, I guess."
She seemed to fall into melancholy.
"I think he'd be very happy to see you."
Ludwig smiled.
Indeed, Gilbert would be happy to see Elizabeth after such a long time.
"I'd be happy to see him, too."
She takes yet another sip of wine.
As the feeling of unease grows, Ludwig decides to take his leave and head home.
"I'll have to go now, Elizabeth. It was a great wedding. Here's wishing that you and Roderich last long."
"Tell jerkface I said no thank you."
She laughed.
Never will Ludwig know what Gilbert would do to hear that laughter once more.
Elizabeth woke up the next day with a terrible headache.
"Damned hangovers..."
As expected, Roderich was no longer home.
She tied her hair into a messy bun (God, it's so annoying to have long hair sometimes) before sorting out the papers that where all over the table.
The papers were used to note who to send the wedding invitations to, what should be written, and other things regarding the wedding.
Among the piles were also several pieces of paper that were scrunched up and thrown aside.
Those were the first few wedding invitations Elizabeth wanted to mail to Gilbert, but decided against.
She shook her head.
She still couldn't understand why her best friend didn't turn up at her wedding.
He of all people should have come.
The last time she had met him was when she found out he wasn't a country anymore.
Even after the crying mess they both became, Gilbert just cleaned himself up, and maybe helped clean her face up too... Okay, not maybe, he did.
Being so very gentle, wiping the bottom of her eyes with his fingers.
Being the Gilbert he always was.
She laid her head down on the mess of papers which occupied the table.
"He was one obnoxious jerk." She mumbled.
But she knew better.
Gilbert was the nicest guy she'd ever known.
Despite all the bullying when she was younger, Gilbert was still the nicest guy she'd ever known.
He had helped her fight her wars without complaint.
He had patched her up after fights.
He had always been there for her when she was down.
He had taken care of her, loved her, treated her well.
More than a best friend should, actually.
While reminiscing all the stupid things about Gilbert...
And his stupid smile...
His stupid ruby eyes...
Elizabeth found her line of vision starting to turn cloudy.
"Ugh dammit."
She rubbed her eyes hard.
She pressed the heels of her hand against her eyes, hoping to stop the stream of tears from flowing.
But they didn't.
The pent up emotions were escaping.
She missed him so damned much.
Especially that annoying smile of his.
Once again, she cursed at the man who was causing her breakdown for not attending her wedding.
She was really looking forward to seeing him, but he didn't turn up.
What an asshole.
She decided that she would pay her friend who, apparently, "wasn't feeling well" a visit, soon.
Till then, she decided to clean the whole house.
She focused on cleaning so she wouldn't think of a particular albino jerk and break down into a wreck again.
But as the stray strands of her brown hair kept getting in her face as she worked, she exclaimed,
"SOMETIMES I REALLY WANT TO JUST SNIP IT ALL OFF!",
and she remembers Gilbert again.
She remembers him saying how she had such pretty hair and how she should leave it out.
She remembers him playing with her hair, braiding, curling, gently pulling on it.
He really loved playing with her hair.
She also can't help remembering his stupid goofy grin when she told him that she decided to leave it out. (Not for your stupid sake, by the way!)
She sighs and ties her hair again, making sure that no stray strands were left.
It really has been too long since she had last seen him.
The sudden outburst of tears is proof of that.
Then she decided that she would visit her friend who "wasn't feeling well", tomorrow.
Her house phone suddenly rang, and she rushed over to pick it up, thinking it was Roderich.
"Hello?"
There wasn't an answer.
"Hello?" She repeated.
There still wasn't an answer.
"Uhm... Who's this?"
The person at the end of the other line hung up.
She sighed.
She then went back into her room, picking out the clothes she was planning on wearing the next day when she visited her friend.
But Elizabeth didn't know that she wouldn't be able to see her friend the next day.
It was 12 midnight when Ludwig called.
The incessant ringing woke Elizabeth up from her sleep.
"Hello?"
She asked, rubbing her eyes.
Who'd actually call at this time of the night?
There was no answer.
Must be that weird caller earlier on.
"Elizabeth."
Ludwig's trembling voice came out soft and hoarse.
It almost sounded as if Ludwig was... crying?
"Elizabeth... My brother...-" Ludwig couldn't speak properly. "My brother, Gilbert... He's... Gone."
"Hah?"
Gone?
Gone as in... disappeared? Lost? Or gone as in...
"They found him... at the foot of this tree in a park where we used to live... he was seated there..." Ludwig choked out between sobs.
He took a deep breath.
"He was seated there, and his body was already cold when they found him. They said he'd been... dead for a few hours."
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
She thought, but Elizabeth could not speak. The hand holding the phone shook. She placed another hand on the table to balance herself.
She could not find her voice. No matter how hard she tried to speak, nothing came out.
"...Elizabeth?"
"I'm- ... I'm sorry." She managed to force herself to speak. Then she hung up.
Her body trembled violently and she fell to the floor, clutching at her chest.
He's dead.
Her best friend is dead.
Her best friend who she had not seen since forever, is dead.
The news broke her entire being.
The endless stream of tears flowed like a river, and she cried.
She cried and cried and cried, but the pain in her chest did not go away.
She thought, "It's a joke."
She thought, "Heaven is playing a trick on me."
She thought, "That dirtbag cannot be dead."
Then she cried some more as she tried to picture him, his lopsided smirk, his ruby eyes glowing, his gentle hands...
Oi Lizzy, are you okay?
His concerned voice when she fell down.
Elizabeth Hedervary you little shit.
His angry- but not really- voice when she played a prank on him.
Lizzy, wanna play?
He asked when they were only children- he had looked for her at her home.
What the fuck are you wearing Lizzy? Are you sure those are your clothes?
Huh? "More feminine?" you're fine just the way you are!
His comments when he saw her wearing a dress for the first time.
She was never going to hear his voice again.
I love you, Elizabeth Hedervary.
He had said, but she laughed and said he was joking. He just smiled sheepishly.
Yeah... I was.
She laughed again.
His voiced echoed in her head, reverberating in her now empty mind.
She'd never hear him say her name again.
"You're a fucking liar, Gil."
She whispered.
"You said you loved me."
Gilbert would never be by her side ever again.
She loved him, too.
No.
Not loved, not past tense -ed. She loves him. She still does.
But at that time he said it- she didn't know how to respond.
So she laughed.
When she said he was joking, she wanted him to say, "No, I wasn't."
But he didn't. Instead he laughed and said that he indeed WAS joking.
She was disappointed.
She was really really disappointed.
So, did he ever love her?
Did he think of her before he went?
Did he think about how broken she would be if he left her behind, all alone?
"You should've at least came to visit me..." She closed her eyes, her hands still trembling.
Why didn't she go see him?
Why had she chosen to be a stubborn prick and wait for him to come, thinking that if he cared for her enough, he'd come?
Well it's too damned late for regrets.
He's gone.
He's gone, and she had never ever managed to ever tell him her feelings.
It was all her fault- she never mustered the courage to tell him her feelings- that she loved him not as a friend but more than that.
She loved him as a person, she loved his everything. His flaws, his face, his smile, his voice...
He was more than her best friend.
On that day she had gone to visit him, she heard hear that he was no longer a country.
On that day he promised that he wouldn't die.
He said that he wouldn't die that easily.
He said it.
He promised.
Also, on that day he said he loved her again.
Did he love her more than a friend? Did he love her, like, love love?
She had come home to cry even more after that.
That was the last time they met.
She was falling asleep on the floor, her head swimming with memories of Gilbert.
"Fucking.. jerk..." She mumbled, then she was enveloped by her exhaustion, and fell into deep sleep.
Elizabeth awoke the next day, her eyes red and swollen.
She felt so lifeless.
She did not know how to carry on. She was supposed to visit him, today.
She changed into the dress she picked out the day before and decided to see how Ludwig was doing.
Gilbert always loved his younger brother. If there was anyone who was more broken than she is, it'd be Ludwig.
She arrived after an hour's journey.
It took effort for her to knock- she did not have the appetite to eat.
Ludwig came to the door, and opened it a fraction.
"Oh, it's you, Elizabeth. Come in."
His eyes were red from crying.
"Are you okay?" Ludwig asked her first.
She wasn't. She wasn't okay. She was far from okay.
She smiled, one that did not carry any happiness.
"I'm not."
"I still can't believe that he's gone." She felt her eyes watering.
"He wouldn't want to see you like that." Ludwig put a hand on her shoulder. "Besides... with how he was suffering, this could actually be a good thing, for him."
A good thing? How could dying be a good thing?!
She wanted to exclaim. But it was true, it was better to be released from suffering.
"He was really sick. We- me and him- already knew his time was going to be up soon... We just didn't say anything about it. Thinking, maybe if we ignored it, it would just go away and stop being a problem."
"On the day of your wedding he just up and left." Ludwig paused. "And he said 'Thank you for everything' to me, so I guess he knew he was going to go."
He knew he was going to go, and yet he did not bother looking for her during his last moments.
Was she not important to him? At all? Did she even have a place in his heart, like he did in hers?
"The funeral's tomorrow, and his grave would be near the tree where he died. He left a note saying that he'd like it to be there, so I'll just fulfill that final wish of his I guess." Ludwig continued speaking. "It's at 2 in the afternoon, I think he'd like you to come."
"Okay." She said. "Okay." She repeated, then left.
The funeral lasted for 3 hours, and that was it.
As the years go by, would anyone still remember Gilbert?
As the years go by and the countries grow older, would anyone still remember Prussia?
It was unlikely that anyone would remember him forever.
The countries were all really old, and remembering him would be difficult.
But she wouldn't forget.
She, and Ludwig, would never forget.
"He lives on in your hearts." Francis had said to them.
Everyone had left, and Elizabeth stayed behind.
She recognised the tree that he died leaning on.
It was the tree they always climbed when they were younger.
She stared at it for awhile, then decided to climb it.
After getting onto one of its branches, she sat, swinging her legs.
When the breeze blew, she heard the rustling of leaves.
And something else- a sort of weird rustling that did not sound like leaves...
It sounded like... paper?
She looked around to locate the source of the weird rustling. She spotted it a few branches below her and climbed down to retrieve it.
It was tied around a tree branch.
She opened it, and to her surprise, it was some sort of letter written by Gilbert.
"Dear Elizabeth,
Congratulations! You have found the last letter that the amazing me, Gilbert Beilschmidt, has written! (If you aren't Elizabeth please do not read this!)
Anyway I've got a few things to say to you.
1. I love you the most in the world, more than anyone else does.
You are now a married woman, Elizabeth Hedervary. I'm sorry I didn't attend it, I bet you were cursing and swearing at me. I'm sorry, but I really couldn't bring myself to go. I don't think I could stand it if I were to see you- the love of my life- swearing eternities to someone else who wasn't me. I really want to be the one standing beside you while swearing those vows. Anyway, I don't think I'm good enough for you, y'know? It's great you found someone better who loves you. I'm not gonna say that he loves you more than I do, because I'm sure as hell no one can love you more than I do. Yeah, I may be gone now, but I still love you, present tense, more than he does. I'm hundred percent confident about this too. I wasn't joking when I said I love you, then. (I hope you remember when I was referring to, but if you don't, it's okay.) But you laughed when I told you I did, so I guess you didn't like me more than a friend, huh? It's okay though, I'm not perfect, I've bullied you a lot, I don't mind at all. Still, I really love you. It's like I was born to love you. I love you the most in the world. Please don't forget that.
2. Please be happy.
Please don't blame yourself for anything after I'm gone. Don't think negatively of yourself. Don't blame yourself for not visiting me. It's not your fault. You're busy with your own things. If anything, it's my fault I didn't look for you. I didn't like seeing you happy with someone else. I'm a selfish bastard (and I'm sure you know that) and I only want you to myself. I want to be the only one who can make you real happy, see? I want me to be the reason for your smile. It hurts a lot, and I still can't accept that there's someone else who can make you smile besides me. I didn't like hearing that you were getting married. I mean, come on! We haven't spoken since forever and you send me a letter telling me you're married? That's just- No! I'm not writing this letter to say this. The thing is, I really love you Elizabeth. Like, love love. I love you differently from how you love me. I love you for everything. Your brown hair, your emerald eyes, how you beat me up(not saying that I enjoy the beatings but whatever), how you can be really angry one second but be laughing the next, but the thing I love most about you is your laugh. I was never angry when you played those pranks on me, to be honest. Your pranks were dumb and stupid, but I'd do anything to hear you laugh. After I'm gone, please don't stop laughing. Wherever I am, I'd really, really, really love to hear your laughter again. Please be happy. I really want to see you happy. It's the best thing in the world when you're happy.
3. You're beautiful.
I know what I've said about how crude you are, and how you shouldn't use vulgarities so much. I know what I've said about how your beauty is in vain with that mouth of yours ruining everything. Even though I've said all that, you're still the most beautiful being in the world, to me. Scold me all you want, use all the vulgarities in your vocabulary, but I'll still love you. Because that's simply who you are. I don't want you forgetting that. I don't want you to change yourself to become more feminine just to conform. You're you, and I love you for that. I don't mind anyway, being the only one who knows that side of you. I'll feel special. Please be careful when you're drunk, you can say all those things to me but please don't say them to someone else. They might get offended from what you say when you're drunk. They're gonna want to beat you up or something, and I hate how I won't be there to protect you. So please, please, please be careful. You're so beautiful, Elizabeth. It's like, sometimes you're so stunning I won't be able to look directly at you.(I know this is really cheesy but I'm serious!). Even when you're drunk, even when you're a crying mess, you still look perfect. You're so pretty when you cry, with all those tears streaming down your cheeks. You're beautiful even without make-up. Your morning face is beautiful. Even with all your battle scars, you're beautiful. Don't ever think otherwise.
4. Don't hate me.
I know I've made promises. I said that I wouldn't die. I'm sorry that I overestimated myself. I know I shouldn't make promises that I was going to break, but I didn't like to see you cry when I said that I was "Just Gilbert". I guess I said that I wouldn't die to cheer you up. I'm sorry for lying. Please don't hate me. I remember how you fell into a hole I dug, and you hurt yourself. Sorry for that, I was really playful and just thought it would be fun. There was a weird tingly pain in my chest when I saw you injured, so I plastered you up and everything. I regret digging that hole. I also insisted on fighting your wars for you when we were younger. I never liked seeing you injured, covered in bruises and battle scars. I'd want to kiss them all better, but I don't think I'd want a frying pan in my face. If I could fight your wars for you, I'll definitely jump at the chance. I don't want you to get hurt. You're my most precious thing, and I don't want you to have to feel pain. It hurts to see you feel pain. So please don't hate me for being overprotective. I only want what's best for you.
Well, this is the last.
5. Please don't forget me.
I know it wouldn't be easy for you to remember me. Unlike me, you're still a country, and you have many years ahead of you. But please, try your best to remember me. This is my last selfish request. I cannot imagine you forgetting me, when you were the last thing in my mind before I died. I don't want you to forget me. I can't live for eternity; I can't promise you infinity. I'd really like to, but it's not within my means. I said I'd do anything, but I guess my powers are limited because I can't live forever. As much as I want to, I cannot keep my promise of living forever. I wanted to grow old with you, maybe have a few little Elizabeths and Gilberts running around the house. I really love you, Elizabeth, and even though I'm gone now, I don't want you to forget me. Please don't forget me. Please?
I love you, Elizabeth. You're beautiful, and nothing in the world can change that. Please be happy. Please don't think that I'll never be by your side when you're down, because I'll be here for you. No matter where I am, I'll be listening. Though I won't be able to wipe those tears off your face anymore. I won't be able to pick you up when you fall anymore. I won't be able to patch up your wounds anymore. All these things that I can't do anymore makes me feel really horrible. But even so, when I'm not here for you anymore, please take care of yourself. The person you married better take good care of you, or I'll personally haunt him down myself.
So please don't cry. Dry your tears. Maybe take this letter, stand in front of my grave and recite: "Gilbert is awesome!", like three times in front of my grave while folding an origami and I'll appear before you. No guarantees though.
Thanks for being the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Love,
Gilbert."
Elizabeth smiled. She dried her tears.
He loves her like she loves him.
He thought of her before he died.
She had a special place in his heart.
She'd never forget Gilbert.
Never ever.
Holding the letter in her hand, she realised another, smaller piece of paper was attached to it.
FOR ORIGAMI FOLDING IN CASE YOU WANTED TO TRY
was written on it.
She laughed, for him to hear.
She stood in front of his grave, said "Gilbert was awesome" and folded an origami swan. Tears were streaming down her face again, but she smiled. He'd like to see her happy.
A light breeze blew, but nothing happened.
Gilbert did not appear before her.
She laughed.
What was she expecting?
Still, she stood in front of his grave and whispered, "I love you Gilbert. I won't forget you. I love you like, love love, too."
Elizabeth smiled and walked away.
"I love you too, Lizzy! Please be happy!"
Elizabeth gasped and turned. She swore she heard something.
But there was nothing at his grave, just a yellow bird perched on his gravestone.
THAT'S THE END THEN. This is my first story (I think) I wrote with two chapters. I hope you enjoyed it ^^
