APOV

*Sunday afternoon*

An almost successful assassination and the incarceration of my mother were the highlights of the day I turned 21. None of my so-called friends had remembered the date only sweet little Jill had. However, that wasn't the reason I'd decided to go to the royal dinner hosted by Lissa to 'discuss Jill's future as a royal'. The dinner was a set-up if ever there was one. Lissa's objective was to dictate the path Jill's life had to take now that she was a royal and then emotionally manipulate her into agreeing to it.

Jill with her naivety wouldn't be able to go against that group (Lissa, Rose, her parents)- I wouldn't either despite my jadedness. But she had to have at least one person, even if it was a useless party boy, on her side. It was a losing battle but I would stand with her and provide moral support. As it happened I did more than just stand by Jill that night- I brought her back to life after she was killed by Moroi assassins. My very unwanted gift to myself on my 21st birthday was a spirit bond to an innocent girl. I'd done the only worthwhile thing my life by saving her- I didn't regret it. I did regret the bond that would give her unlimited access to my mind and eventually poison her with spirit darkness.

My father's gift to me had been even better- he'd cut me off from my trust fund with only a meager stipend to live on as a sign of his 'generosity'. It was something he had threatened to do all my life only Aunt Tatiana and my mother had prevented it. Now my Aunt was gone and my mom was imprisoned, there was no one to stop dad from carrying out his threats.

The week after the assassination had been a blur. I had been on a liquid diet since my breakup with Rose but the amount of spirit I used to bring back Jill was taking a toll on me too- and alcohol, copious amounts of alcohol was the only solution. Lissa and Rose had taken it upon themselves to lecture me constantly about how I had to be responsible now since my actions would affect Jill too. I thought it was hypocritical of them to think of Jill now since they were the reason she had been attacked. But I held back my commentary and continued drinking, ignoring them best that I could. I didn't need their guilt trip or nagging- I was doing enough of that to myself on my own. And I especially didn't need Rosemarie Hathaway telling me right from wrong- not when she broke or twisted laws and morals to her advantage constantly- and she'd had the nerve to call Aunt Tatiana sanctimonious! I was tired of hypocrites.

A week later, I was in Palm Springs- after a long torturous drive with Jill, Eddie and my illustrious cheating ex-girlfriend. Apparently, she felt she was the only one who could keep Jill safe- that sure worked out at the dinner. Bitterness aside Rose was a kickass guardian but I resented the way she kept looking at me with disgust and pity. I pretended to sleep for most of the drive when I wasn't smoking or drinking out of my flask. Every time Rose tried to talk to me, Jill would stop or distract her- I didn't want Jill in my mind but I was grateful to her for that.

Jill knew how I felt. Despite the circumstances, she had been trying to make me feel better. Even in my apathetic state, I knew that my brotherly feelings for her had intensified the moment the bond had been created. I wondered how it was for her. I knew she had a crush on me- but with her front row seat into my mind, I was sure that was gone. I wondered if she wished she never knew me after seeing into my mind. If I wasn't me I'd probably run from myself too, I thought wryly.

Was life really even worth it when Jill had to live with my emotions and turmoil? Not to mention the spirit darkness that would eventually seep from my mind to hers. It would turn her as insane as I was bound to be one day. It was a cruel fate- live today, suffer the whims and tunnels of my mind, and then go insane. All the years of putting on a smile and hiding my emotions were now pointless with her- she knew my every thought and felt every emotion and even physical sensations. It was unnerving, and unwelcome. I cared for Jill but I didn't want to share my mind.

We had arrived to a haunted house where the old Moroi- Clarence lived. Abe had flown here earlier and arranged everything with Clarence. Soon after our arrival, the alchemists showed up as well. They would be the ones to hide Jill while Lissa sorted things out at court.

However, the meeting with the Alchemists had not gone well. Keith Darnell, the one-eyed older Alchemist, had baulked that I would be staying in the house and had made a fuss about it. The younger Alchemist, Zoe Sage, had been polite to all of us despite her pulsing fear and anxiety but after seeing Keith's reaction had just stayed quiet as if unsure of how to handle things. Abe was inside trying to smooth things over with Keith and his superiors thorough a conference call.

I tried to clear my head as I smoked outside of Clarence's house. Clarence and his housekeeper Dorothy seemed nice enough but I knew I was going to be bored here. I was on my fourth cigarette when Abe came out to talk to me. "Were you ever coming back?" asked Abe, amused.

"Didn't see the point," I replied tersely

"I've talked things over with the Alchemists- you will be staying here and Keith will apologize and be more professional in the future."

"What alchemist arm did you twist to get them to make an apology?" I asked with dark amusement.

"No arm twisting- talking is as effective sometimes. I tried to have Keith replaced but they didn't agree. I asked for Sydney again but they didn't agree to that either- it would make things easier. So they felt an apology was the least they could offer." Sydney had helped Rose because she owed Abe- it would explain why he would want her here she would be easier to control or manipulate.

"Yeah, but I still don't get why I have to stay with Clarence?" I grumbled.

"You have something better to do?"

"That's not the point!" I was annoyed by the situation- I didn't want to feel like a spare wheel and that's what I was in Palm Springs.

"That's exactly the point," Abe said. "You were wasting away at Court, drowning in your own self-pity - among other things. Here, you have a chance to be useful."

"To you," I stated dryly with raised eyebrows.

"To yourself as well- this is an opportunity for you to make something of your life." Abe declared in a grand tone that was supposed to inspire me. It didn't.

"Except you won't tell me what it is I'm supposed to do!" I said irritably. "Aside from Jill, what is this great task you have for me? And why can't you find me a bachelor pad in the downtown area?"

"No, Adrian you have to stay here and listen. Listen and watch." Abe stroked his chin in that mastermind way of his again. "Watch everyone - Clarence, the Alchemists, Jill, and Eddie. Pay attention to every word, every detail, and report it to me later. It may all be useful."

"I don't know that that really clears things up."

"You have potential, Adrian- too much potential to waste. I'm very sorry for what happened with Rose, but you have to move on. Maybe things don't make sense now, but they will later. Trust me." Yes, trusting mobsters was a perfectly rational thing to do- I thought sarcastically. Even in my drunken stupor, I could tell that wasn't a good idea.

I had spent the rest of my time trying to avoid Rose- something made easier by the discovery of Clarence's liquor cabinet. Rose had tried to talk to me again before she left to either apologize or lecture me but I had closed the door to my new room in her face and continued drinking. I'd only let Jill in to give her a good-bye hug before diving back into the bourbon. I'd decided to drink my days away as much as I could. I was a trust fund baby without the trust fund exiled from the Moroi court to stop me from making the new queen look bad- what else was there for me to do?