Hi. My name is theatre4life. You may have seen me around the fandom recently. I've had this idea in my head for a long time, so I decided to write this! It's basically a sequel to Starship, it's very AVPS-esque. All of the Starship Rangers get accidentally warped back to the time of the Robot Wars when they're supposed to go back to the start of Starship instead! Will they survive the Robot Wars AGAIN? Will Lieutenant Gravity (an old colleague of Up's) decide to join them in the past? Will they be able to deal with eccentric new characters? Will they manage get to their correct time period? Is Mrs. Space-Claw what she seems to be? Can Junior change? Will Tup finally become a couple? And the big question: what exactly was February and Specs betting on? NOT COMPLETE YET, JUST FYI. WHEN I'M DONE WITH THE FIC I MAY GO BACK AND CHANGE SOME THINGS.

I don't own Starship or any of the canon characters. I also don't own anything else I mention that's not original such as references to other fandoms (this includes the character of Astro Boy; I didn't come up with him, obviously). However, I do own Professor Nimblewimble, Mrs. Space-Claw and any OCs I include, as well as the past versions of the canon characters, the plot (besides already established events) and the original songs, which I spent a long time perfecting. I now understand how Darren and AJ feel...enjoy!


(Lights come up on a hallway at G.L.E.E. headquarters. We hear someone calling after UP.)

LIEUTENANT GRAVITY
Hey - hey, Up! (He runs onstage and gives UP a welcoming punch in the neck. UP keels over in pain.)

UP
Ow. Ow, Taz -

(TAZ turns around and spots GRAVITY. She shakes her head and clicks her tongue in distaste.)

GRAVITY
(Uncertain) Great to see you again, Taz?

TAZ
Gravity. You traitor.

GRAVITY
(innocently) I never did anything!

TAZ
Yrah, right. Anything but becoming a big fat liar and traitor. Not only did you play with Up's feelings, but you-

TOOTSIE
Hold up a minute, this turd played with Up's feelings? That's a crime in itself!

GRAVITY
Ah. (Walks over to TOOTSIE) The Farm Planet idiot, yeah? And then you misfits (motions towards FEBRUARY, SPECS, KRAYONDER, MEGAGIRL and BUG). I'm glad you're going ON TRIAL.

TAZ
How could YOU possibly know anything? You're so low on the food chain, leeches would eat you!

FEBRUARY, SPECS, TOOTSIE, KRAYONDER, BUG AND MEGAGIRL
Oooooooooohhhhhh...(TAZ glares at them; they shut up.)

GRAVITY
You'd be surprised, Taz. You'd be surprised.

TAZ
And it would be incredible if you were even a soldier anymore. Especially after your humiliating defeat last summer...

FEBRUARY, SPECS, TOOTSIE, KRAYONDER, BUG AND MEGAGIRL
Ooooohhhhhh...

UP
Not sure if anyone's figured this out yet, but...HE PUNCHED ME IN THE NECK! (The Starship Rangers turn around at this statement) (to Taz, weakly) Taz, am I bleeding?

TAZ
No. Nada...blood?

KRAYONDER
You don't know the Spanish word for blood?

TAZ
(Angrily) You can't expect me to know every Spanish word!

MEGAGIRL
(thoughtfully, or about as thoughtfully as a robot can get, anyway) It's sangre, actually.

TAZ
And you know that because...?

LMEGAGIRL
(Robotically shrugs) Google Translate 3000 is wired in my system. One of the perks of being a robot.

GRAVITY
(irritably) ANYWAY! Punching each other in the neck is our greeting, old friend! Don't you remember?

UP
(looks thoughtful; for a moment it seems like he remembers) No. (Stronger, and more angrily) No, I don't remember how punching me in the neck could be a sign of welcome.

GRAVITY
Really?

(On the other side of the stage where the stage light has sprung up, YOUNG UP and YOUNG GRAVITY enter. They run toward each other, and punch each other's necks.)

YOUNG GRAVITY AND YOUNG UP
Owwww! (They groan)

YOUNG UP
Dead God, that's a rush.

YOUNG GRAVITY
Oh, yeah...

(They punch each other again. Then TASINA pops in again. She ends up in between the two, and both of their punches land hard on her face. TASINA keels over in pain.)

YOUNG GRAVITY AND YOUNG UP
(Yelling frantically) You killed Tasina! You bastard!

(The light flashes out on the scene. UP and TAZ are bewildered; the other Starship Rangers are completely confused.)

TOOTSIE
So you guys ripped off South Park and punched each other until you knocked out Taz?

(UP and GRAVITY share a quick glance.)

GRAVITY
Well, yeah...I guess that's right.

BUG
You could have just told us that.

SPECS
Wait...did Tootsie just say something intelligible?

(All Starship Rangers except GRAVITY stare at him.)

TOOTSIE
What? What did I say?

(There is a slight pause. Then UP breaks the silence.)

UP
Gravity...(winces) Great to have you back on board.

GRAVITY
Great to see you too, Up.

UP
So what exactly did you do after the Robot Wars?

GRAVITY
(Faltering) Oh, right...well...

TAZ
Spit it out, idiota!

GRAVITY
Well...(muttering) I became a janitor at Space School...

TAZ
(smiles widely) What? Say that again.

GRAVITY
No!

TAZ
(demanding) Say that again, loud enough for all of us to hear.

GRAVITY
(pleading) No...

TAZ
(triumphantly) Yes.

GRAVITY
(defeated, loudly) I BECAME A STUPID JANITOR AT STUPID SPACE SCHOOL. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

(At this moment, they reach the office of a menacing GENERAL CRYBABY. CRYBABY opens his door with a clang. He has a strangely tough voice and stature for a man of his name.)

CRYBABY
(Thundering) Gravity! Why are you disturbing me?

GRAVITY
General Crybaby! Um...

CRYBABY
(Angrily) I'm General CRY, because I make people CRY. CRY, comprendo?

GRAVITY
(Timidly) General Cry, I am so very sorry for disturbing you.

CRYBABY
(Points at GRAVITY) You better be.

(CRYBABY slams his door shut. There is an awkward silence.)

SPECS
(Breaking the silence) Okay!

FEBRUARY
He speaks Spanish?

ALL
Shut up, February.

(They all continue to walk down the hallway. Then: )

UP
Gravity, where the hell are you going and why are you walking with us?

GRAVITY
(Affronted) Well!

(He opens the door of a random office. A giant plant-like tendril creeps out of the door and attacks GRAVITY and UP. Everyone reacts accordingly.)

FEBRUARY
(Screaming) AAAAAAGGHHH! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! AAAAAGGGHHHHHH OH MY DEAD GOD THAT IS THE COOLEST PLANT I'VE EVER SEEN!

(UP quickly slams the door close. Everyone sighs in relief except for FEBRUARY.)

FEBRUARY
(Muttering) That was a cool plant.

TAZ
Gravity, seriously, get the hell out of here. And I don't know why I've never asked this, but what the hell kind of a name is "Gravity?"

GRAVITY
What the hell kind of a name is "Taz?" Or Tasina, even?

BUG
Taz, your real name is Tasina?

TAZ
Bug...there are some things in my life I don't like to share with people.

KRAYONDER
What about the thing with your quinceneara? Or the bullies? Or your calculus class?

TAZ
(glares at him) You were listening in on us?

KRAYONDER
Duh. How were we supposed to know our cue to start our dance break?

TAZ
...Good point. Gravity...just leave us alone now.

(GRAVITY gives the Starship Rangers a piercing glare. Then he opens a random door and lets himself in.)

SPECS
(reading the plate on the door) "Commander Failure."

UP
(Frantically) Commander Failure? Dead God, he's the worst! We have to hurry or Gravity'll catch up with us!

(They rush offstage. Moments later, GRAVITY throws open the door and rushes out, panting.)

COMMANDER FAILURE
Get out of my quarters, you big buffoon!

GRAVITY
(Turns around to face the door) I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

(GRAVITY turns around to face the audience. He is still panic-stricken.)

GRAVITY
Dead God, Commander Failure's the worst. Wait - guys? (He turns to the left. No one is there. He jumps to his right.) Guys? (He turns to the audience again. He sighs.) Left behind again. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

(Lights down on GRAVITY...)