Chapter 2

I lay in bed watching the clouds from my window. 8:30. I didn't really want to get out of bed.

Grandpa came in with a cup of coffee for me. "Surprised yer up shortman. You've been cramming all night." He gestured towards the books and papers sprawled out over my bed.

"Yeah, I guess I overdid it a little." I said wiping the sleep out of my eyes and taking the coffee cup. "Thanks."

"Grandma made pancakes if yer hungry."

"Okay, I'll be down in a bit."

I was taking my SATs again at 9:30. I really wanted to do well. I don't know why, but I always wanted to make my grandparents proud. It was kind of like my way of repaying them to raising me so late in life. As I got older it became more and more apparent what a big responsability it is for people their age to raise a teenager. They would love me no matter what I did. But I did know that I would never abandon them like my father did.

I remember the first time I ever heard my Grandpa say the word "dead" in reference to my parents. It was about a year after my trip to San Lorenzo when I came home enpty handed. I moped around for months on end. It really crushed me. I kept talking about going back to find them, and I think it just... got to him finally. I guess it never occured to me how hard it must be to lose a son. I mean, that was his son.

He was talling me to just let go and move on with my life like always, but I just kept pressing the matter. I just kept going on and on like an idiot not realizing that I was causing him pain. Finally he turned and gave me a look I will never forget. "Arnold, your mother and father are dead." He never said those words before. He would say things that suggested that he thought they were dead, but he never used those words for fear of hurting me. But there was just no other way to get through to me. He said each word slowly and clearly so he would never have to say them again. I knew they were most likely dead, but I knew from then on that I should really stop talking about it with him. His old heart really could not take it.

After the test Phoebe drove me to Gerald's.

Since Phoebe and Gerald got together, me, her, and Helga became kind of like a foursome. We did everything together. Phoebe was the only other one of us who was nerdy enough to even take the SATs again. Gerald and Helga were smart, but just too lazy to bother. Going through another grueiling six hours of testing.

It was kind of nice sharing that moment with Phoebe. Even though she was my friend, I always kind of felt like she and I weren't as close as the others. It was nice to have someone to talk about nerdy stuff with.

"So have you heard from Helga?" Gerald placed the xbox controller on the arm of the couch.

"No. Why? Is something wrong?"

"She left her parents house for good this time."

I scoffed and joined the lobby again. "I'll believe that when I see it. She's eighteen. Where is she gonna go?"

"She got a room from her drug dealer. She moved in this morning."

"What? How the hell is she going to afford that?"

"Well she still has that job at the diner, and she'll probably start dealing more now."

"Ugh." I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. "I don't like that. Not one bit. She's not safe there."

Gerald looked at me like I was an idiot. "You really don't get it do you?"

"Get what? She has problems with her parents. What teenager doesn't? At least she ha-"

"No." Gerald looked angry. "Don't even say that. You know, phoebe really didn't want me to tell you but somebody has to because you just don't connect the dots."

"What are you talking about?"

"All those bruises she always has are not from fights with other girls. They're from fights with her dad."

I was speechless. I knew Bob was a peice of shit dad but I didn't know he was that bad.

"He's been knocking her around since she was a little kid. It wasn't until she was a teenager that she started fighting back. But even now, there's only so much she can do."

My blood boiled. I don't know why but something about the idea of someone hurting her made me sick to my stomach. I've heard of kids at school who had abusive parents, and I though oh that sucks, but this. This was personal. Suddenly I was mad at Gerald and Phoebe.

"And you guys didn't get her help?"

Gerald shook his head. "She would stay with Phoebe when it got really bad. But she'd have us pick her up all the time. She didn't want us to do anything. It wouldn't be our place to."

"Why didn't she tell me? How long did you guys know about this?"

"Phoebe always knew. It wasn't until she and I were together for like six months that I found out. I wan angry too, but I trust her." Gerald began choosing his words carefully. "You're a very good friend. But you have a VERY strong sense of justice. You can fix anyone's problems. You always find a solution. But this one is too much for you. She needs more help than you can give her. And I know you, that would kill you."

"Don't you understand this changes everything between us? She was a bitch to me when we were little and I just thought she was an asshole, I didn't realize how deep her problems really went. All those times she would complain about Bob and Mariam... "

"Neither did I. But now can you see that it's for the best that she moves out? She's in just as much danger at home. She's a tough girl, she can take care of herself."

I started thinking about the baorders. None of them seemed to be leaving any time soon. Even if we did have the room, she wouldn't be able to pay as much as the others, and I can't ask my grandparents to take a cut in rent. Times are hard for them as it is. The more I thought about it the angrier I got.

"Dude, stop it. I can already see you looking for a solution. There isn't one. Helga just needs some time on her own. If you want to visit her go ahead, but don't tell her what you know. She'll kill Phoebe if she finds out we know. She doesn't want anyone to know."

"I just... Feel like I should be there for her this summer..."

"Oh no, you've been planning this trip fro way too long to put it off now."

"Wow, so now you think I should go?"

Gerald sighed. "You are gogin to do whatever you feel is right. Period. I know you. You just can't keep living on everyone else's beck and call. This time, she isn't asking for help. And you have problems of your own you need to sort out."

"I guess you're right. Anyway, my flight is on the seventh, so I had better get around to seeing if she's okay. I just..." It hurt. My heart. It hurt. No. It ached.