Wow you guys, just WOW! I posted this, went to bed and woke up with my phone and email exploded with alerts about you guys following and favoriting and reviewing! That was the BEST way to wake up and start my day! Thanks to all of you who Followed, Favorited, and Reviewed! You guys made me so happy I got the next chapter ready for you guys early!


[The time was The American Civil War]


"I found myself… in what you'd call… a 'situation…'"

"Hmm… weird… looks like someone left the awesome me some coal-"

Suddenly, to Pennsylvania's surprise, the coal crate spoke

"Ah!"

"Augh!"

"Hello to you! I am the box of coal fairy! I come in peace! Let us be friends and play with each other!"

"The awesome me thinks someone is inside!"

"You're wrong! There's no one inside! DO NOT OPEN THE BOX!"

"Nnnnngh…. Verdammt, this is heavy…"

"Why are you ignoring me?! What point is it to try to see the box of coal fairy's guts?!"

*struggle grunts*

Something is caught in here Pennybird…!

*CRACK!* The crate opened and out popped a young blond haired boy, he looked about 5 years old, with bright green eyes and ridiculously big eye brows.

"Wah! I'm so sorry; you were right! I am not a box of coal fairy at all! It was all lies! Lies! LIES! Please don't shoot me; I'm too young to die, and what if I don't die but am just mortally wounded and forced to lie there in misery in a pool of my own blood?! I'm not part of the Confederacy! Promise! Please I'll do anything! Well, I mean within reason… I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEEEEE!


(Opening)


"I mean seriously, yes I'm a slave state but I don't want to leave the Union like big sister Virginia did! I even declared myself independent! The point is you don't want to shoot West Virginia! We're pathetic enough as it is! I apologize for the lying, and the boxing, and really I'm a good State! I swear! You're Pennsylvania, right?!

'Geez… is this the guy I'm supposed to be fighting? The awesome me heard mein Feind is the descendant of Virginia, and the awesome me is never wrong but…'

"I have relatives in King of Prussia! And...*talk talk talk talk*"

[Yes there is actually a city called 'King of Prussia' in Pennsylvania. Look it up if you don't believe me]

'Ugh… there's no way this whining little brat could be the same enemy… the awesome me wonders who he really is…'

West Virginia was still talking.

"Shut up! The awesome me is going to ask you a question. You wouldn't by any chance be related to Virginia, would you?"

"Wait, you're telling me you know Big Sister Virginia? What a turn of events! Especially for this poor coal miner!
You had me completely fooled! I thought you were really mean and scary! So we can be friends, ok?"

"What kind of joke is this?! The awesome me is not amu-"

'Ah! Mein Gott this is a trap! He's pretending to be harmless in an attempt to catch the awesome me off guard! Sneaky bastard!'

"How fun to have a new friend!—Augh!"

"The awesome me will not be tricked! Go to hell, you coal loving trottel!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…. *whine cry whine*"

'At that moment, I never imagined the extent to which this encounter would change my awesome fate. Although I don't believe in such things. The awesome me makes his own fate.'


[To be continued]


Kids: Chibitejas!

Florida walked up to California, who was still chasing after little Texas

"Hey, you know what California? There are other people to chase around here besides Texas!"

"He chases me because I'm scared of him… I think..." Texas spoke up

"I would quit if you'd just come over to my place… so…!"

"But Grandpa told me that I'm not supposed to go…!" Texas fiddled with his belt

"Then I'll make you!"

California began to drag off Texas, who was starting to cry.

"DID YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID TO YOU!?" yelled Florida

"ROAAAAAAR!" (that's a battle cry)

"OOOOOAAAAH!" (that's also some sort of battle cry)

"Just ignore them." Said Mexico "You would like to have some churros, no?"

"Sì!"

Kids: How Texas became a victim of bullying!

Narrator: Around the time America won the war for independence, Texas, Florida, California (who at the time was a part of Mexico) and some other territories all lived under Spain's rule. In those days, Texas had everything: fertile soil, mild weather, and cheap land. It was a rather attractive place to live. People from Europe to America all came to Texas to start a new life. Naturally, the other countries started to get jealous.

In fact, many Americans actually resigned their American citizenship to move to Texas, it's one of the reasons the US was reluctant not only to send aid during the Texas Revolution, but also admitting Texas as as state. Though that was mainly about dept, relations with Mexico, and the whole slave or free state thing

To those sides, no land was a good a prey as Texas. France started the nasty trend by charging into Texas from Louisiana first. Then, other strong and incredibly rude countries invaded from the sea and tried to take pieces of Texas for themselves. Key word being tried. Obviously none of them hear the saying "Don't mess with Texas"


[And once again the time was the American Civil War]


'So I captured West Virginia, but the only thing I hear from him is the singing und the laughing und weird accents. It is driving the awesome me crazy! It's like he doesn't want to escape from me at all.'

"Why don't you try to escape?!"

"Why? As long as I'm with you, I get fed, Virginia can't try to take me, and nobody picks on me! I like being here!

"Nein that attitude is unacceptable! If you're a soldier, even if you're not, you're supposed to try very hard to escape captivity!"

West Virginia was sprawling out on the floor

"You're the most pathetic excuse for a state I've ever seen. Are you really sleeping right now?!"

Pennsylvania sighed and opened the door

"Hey, look at how the door just opened! You could totally run away if you wanted to!"

"Uhh…"

West Virginia slowly walked, more like dragged, himself out of the house

"Hello ladies! You are both so lovely!"

After 5 minutes of talking to random people, West Virginia came back into the house.


(Marukaite Chikyuu: West Virginia)

Hey, hey Papa! Can I have soda?
Hey, hey Mama! Hey, hey Mama!
The Brooke trout that I ate before,
I cannot forget the taste!

Draw a circle, that's the Earth
Look closely, that's the Earth
Might it be that that's the Earth
I'm West Virginia!

Ahhh, with the single swipe of charcoal,
a wonderful world can be seen
Where mountaineers are always free!
West Virginia!


America was going over battle plans with the states that had stayed in the Union when a Union soldier walked in

"Hey, America, I have some terrible news! West Virginia has become a part of the Union! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

Kids: To be continued!


Fun facts! The state motto of West Virginia is 'Montani semper liberi - Mountaineers are always free' so I put that into the song because I thought it fit. Brooke Trout is the state fish, so that's the food, and instead of paint I did charcoal because West Virginia has a big mining industry, which is also the reason for the box of coal fairy.

Also remember, West Virginia is practically a brand new state during the American Civil War, so that is why he appears younger than he will later on.

As I forgot to mention it last chapter, a lot of the states are going to be based of of the ones in 9foxgirl's Provinces & States: You're Doomed!, but with my own twists and additions.

Translations:

German

Verdammt - damn

Mein Feind - my enemy

(Feind is capitalized because all nouns are capitalized in German)

Mein Gott - My God

Trottel - fool/idiot

Nein - No

Spanish

Sì - Yes (This is also true for Italian)