I wanted a little interactivity with this story, so I've decided to take advantage of the Polls option and created a little one to allow the readers to vote on which of the two teams in this story will win the race. I think I'll keep it open almost up until the end of this story, so for anybody interested please go to my profile and vote! Thanks so far for the reviews, and here is chapter two.
Date Uploaded: 30 March 2008
Chapter 02: Just That Little Bit More Memorable
The parking lot of the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Houston was crowded on any given day, but on that particular Wednesday morning it was full of rental cars of different makes and sizes. It was in these vehicles that WWE crewmembers and wrestlers from all three brands were loading luggage and ultimately piling into on their way to the next show. The roads between Houston and Tampa were due to be congested for the next few days.
On one end were two identical Kluger SUVs, one in graphite and the other in sandstone. The 'face' team consisting of London, Kendrick, the Hardys, CM Punk and John Cena had taken the sandstone one and were currently stuffing their belongings into the baggage space.
Mickie James was giggling as she followed Jeff towards the SUV. "So you guys are really serious about this whole race thing, are you?" she said.
"Of course we are," Jeff said adamantly.
"Uh, why have a race in the first place?" she asked. "I mean, there's such a huge propensity for total fucked-up-ness to happen. Just listen to what your brother had to undergo five years ago. I really don't get it."
Matt, who had been studying the map, looked up sharply at her. "How do you know about what happened five years ago?"
"Uh, because I read, duh," Mickie said to him. "Remember a little book entitled, 'Eating Asphalt' by your fellow road tripper Mick Foley? Plus, I got chatty with Gerry from the Avis rental place. Really nice guy. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."
"Speaking of which, did you happen to see Jericho there while you were at it?" Spanky asked her.
"Yeah, I did actually," Mickie replied. "He walked in, saw the clerk and then walked right back out. I don't know if he's managed to hitch a ride with anybody else."
Matt groaned and made a dispelling motion with one hand as he turned his back and went back to the map. Jeff shrugged and said, "Well, large chances for fucked-up-ness or not, we're doing this to put the guys on the other team in their place."
"You mean you want to beat them and lord your win over them," Mickie said.
"Precisely," Cena said.
"On the other hand, you guys do realize that if we don't win this thing those six assholes are going to hang it over our heads for the rest of our natural lives, right?" CM Punk said, leaning on the SUV.
"Who says we're not going to win?" Jeff challenged, having already commandeered the passenger seat.
"Well to be honest we don't have a whole lot going for us," London spoke up contemplatively. "I can't read the map given to us and Matt's currently holding it upside-down now, so I'm guessing he's not having much luck either. From what I can tell, Jeff's disruptive on road trips, Cena's not that much better and Spanky, well, let's just say that he likes his rest stops."
"So just give him another bottle," Matt said surly as he came up to them.
"That is really disgusting," CM Punk commented.
Spanky frowned from inside the vehicle. "Is it my fault that I have a weak bladder?"
Punk sighed. "Does anybody have a better idea?"
Cena took off his cap and scratched his head. "London's got a point. I mean, a large part of why the guys and I got so hopelessly sidetracked before was because we were all so uncontrollable. As for the guys on the other team, well, Kennedy and Edge may hate each other but you can't say that they aren't driven. They'll lug the whole team along if they have to."
"Any ideas?" London asked, even as Matt folded the map back up and grumbled something about it probably being clearer in Japanese.
Cena rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and then grinned as an idea popped into his head. "Hey Hardy Boy – yeah, you Jeff – toss me your phone, would you?"
"What's wrong with yours?" Jeff asked as he gave his cellphone to Cena.
"Punk batted it straight into the wall last night in a game of spontaneous hotel room baseball," Cena replied as he proceeded to make a call.
"Hey, in all fairness I told you to use something else as the ball," Punk defended.
Mickie shook her head in disapproval. "Really, boys, that is so juvenile."
"You were playing catcher!" Punk reminded her.
"Whatever. Anyway, my ride's about to leave. See you boys at Tampa, and good luck!" Mickie said, waving as she ran to join Maria, Ashley, Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool at their own rental.
Spanky and Jeff watched them go. "Damn. Any chance I could ride with them?" Spanky wondered wistfully.
"'Fraid not, buddy, you're stuck with us," Jeff said, patting his back. "And within this van, these are the only big jugs you're going to see," he pulled out two large bottles of orange soda. "Drink up."
London immediately inserted himself into the SUV and grabbed the bottles before Spanky could take them. "Oh no you're not," he snapped. "From now on you only drink when I tell you to."
"And he'll probably burp you afterwards too," Punk said, causing Jeff to laugh and Spanky to sulk.
On the other side at the graphite-colored Kluger, five members of the 'heel' team, Ken Kennedy, Carlito, Miz, Morrison and Randy Orton, were also busy packing up their things and making plans.
"If we go straight without any rest stops we can make it to the I-12 toward Hammond by the end of the day," Kennedy was saying, consulting the rather large fold out map that he was holding out in front of him.
Randy Orton shoved his arm out of the way so that he could finish loading his luggage into the back of their rental. "Listen, that's all well and good, man, but who exactly is going to be able to drive ten hours straight to Hammond without dropping off from exhaustion?"
"I can do it," Miz immediately offered.
"No, you can't," Morrison immediately snapped. "You're hopped up on Red Bulls – we stick you in the driver's seat and you'll burn out within two hours. Maybe Carlito can do it."
"Screw that," Carlito immediately said where he had gotten inside the SUV. "Carlito's not carting all your asses for ten hours straight. Besides, I call navigator."
As an argument on who would best be able to take that first, arduously long driver shift began, Edge was near the entrance to the hotel, trying to placate a visibly disappointed Vickie Guerrero. "I still really don't see why you can't ride with us on our way to Florida," Vickie said with a pout.
"Vickie, sweetheart, we went over this," Edge said, rubbing her hand. "When I walked into the rental place to get a vehicle for us, I got suckered into this whole race thing."
"I knew we should have insisted that Hawkins and Ryder get a car for us – where the hell were those two this morning anyway?" Vickie demanded.
"Probably jacking each other off in the shower," Shannon Moore commented as he passed by, causing both Vickie and Edge to shoot him a dirty look.
Teddy Long, who was once again manning Vickie's wheelchair, straightened his face to remove the urge to laugh and then spoke, "I think they said something about making a quick visit to an old friend who lived in the area before heading out."
"Those selfish ingrates," Vickie spat. "And now my poor, dear Edge has to ride in a clunky SUV with five other people instead of us."
"A great loss to us all, surely," Teddy mumbled to himself.
"Look, Vickie," Edge said, crouching down in front of her, "It's just for a few days on the road, and then we'll be able to enjoy each other's company again in Tampa. I'll suffer without your company and you'll suffer without mine, but as they say, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'."
"Oh, that is so true, Edgy-poo," Vickie said, cupping his face and giving him a light smooch as Teddy rolled his eyes heavenward.
Thankfully Edge managed to pry himself away from Vickie and head back to his team, just in time to hear Randy Orton vehemently make his case on why he shouldn't take the long driving shifts. "… And furthermore, sitting in one position for a long period of time causes extreme numbness in my posterior AND my appendages. Plus, I think I may be borderline color-blind."
Kennedy gave him an annoyed look. "You really are a dickhole."
Randy bristled at being insulted, but before they could launch into a bigger fight a whistle came from where the other team was. The six of those at the graphite vehicle looked up to see John Cena walk up to them. "Cat-fightin' already, girls?"
"Get over yourself, Cena," Randy said scornfully. "What do you want?"
"I actually wanted to tell you guys that I just had a phone call with a few of our mutual buddies and ended up telling them about this little race we're havin'," John said. "Well they got kind of into it too and decided that we needed a little somethin' extra to make things even more interesting."
"'A little extra'?" Miz echoed with a raised eyebrow.
"'Mutual buddies'?" Morrison repeated suspiciously.
At that moment another car rumbled over to come to a stop beside their vehicle in the parking lot. One of the windows in the back rolled down and an altogether very familiar face poked out and gave them all a big grin. "Hey, assclowns. So it's a race now, is it?"
Edge let out a big groan. "Oh fuck no. Jesus Christ, Jericho, what do you want now?"
"Well John, Matt and I were conversing a couple of minutes ago and they happened to tell me what you guys were up to," Jericho said, taking his sunglasses off and putting them momentarily on top of his head. "I thought it all sounded pretty exciting in itself, but then I decided to add my own two cents to make it just that little bit more memorable."
"And what exactly would that be?" Kennedy asked dryly.
"Nothing too big," Jericho said with a shrug. "More specifically, a little scavenger hunt."
"What is this, some stupid college road trip?" Edge said in exasperation, dumping his last piece of luggage in the back and narrowly missing Carlito, who had remained inside. "And knowing you, Jericho, nothing's as simple or a little as you claim it to be. Why should we agree to this scavenger hunt??"
"Hey, our team did," Matt said, coming up to join them and hearing the tail end of Edge's statement. "Why, Edge, is a little added challenge too much for the so-called Ultimate Opportunist?"
"Don't you fucking mock me, Hardy Boy," Edge growled at him.
"Wait, what is this whole scavenger hunt thing going to entail?" Randy asked.
"Are you seriously considering this?" Carlito snapped at him from inside the SUV.
"Anything to get these chumps to stop smirking at us," Randy said, gesturing to Matt, Cena and Jericho. "So how is this going to go?"
"Well I thought that as the twelve of you fine gentlemen race, my own associates and I would send you certain items to look for every hour on the hour," Jericho said.
"And who are these associates of yours?" Morrison asked.
At that the front windows of the sedan were rolled down to reveal the driver and the person in the passenger seat. "Hello, boys," Shawn Michaels greeted, grinning from ear to ear as Triple H took a sip from a bottle of water and held it up towards them in a mocking gesture.
"Oh this just keeps on getting better and better, doesn't it?" Miz moaned.
"Carlito almost doesn't want to ask this," Carlito began, looking at Jericho, "But why in the hell are you riding with the two of them?"
"Because they offered," Jericho said.
"Because he begged to," Triple H said at the same time.
"Hey," Jericho said, giving him an annoyed look. "You had an extra space and owed me a favor."
"I knew I would regret asking him to 'distract' Vince that one time we stole all his suits to dye bright green," Triple H muttered to Shawn.
"So what'll it be?" Cena finally asked, clapping his hands once to call everyone to a decision. "Aside from the race we'll have the scavenger hunt on the side. To win you have to be first AND have all the items for the hunt."
All six members of the 'heel' team looked at each other, more than a few doing so apprehensively. And then Edge gave a quick nod that was mimicked by the others and Kennedy turned to say, "All right, it's done. The scavenger hunt is on."
"That's what I wanted to hear," Jericho said, jerking his head down so that his sunglasses fell back to his face.
"Hey, here comes our last carpool member," Shawn said, checking out the rearview mirror.
Everyone turned to see Ric Flair coming over with Paul London, who was helping him with his luggage. "Whatever it is you guys are scheming about there, I've no doubt that I'm going to get suckered into it as this trip goes along," he said, as the trunk popped open and be began to load his bags into it. "And I don't think I was consulted when it was agreed that Jericho was going to ride with us."
"Christ, Ric, I'm hurt; and here I thought you liked me," Jericho said, not looking the least bit fazed.
Ric ignored his sarcasm and got into the back of the car. "Well, let's go."
"We'll cook up item one for the scavenger hunt and you'll receive it in exactly forty-five minutes," Jericho said, cocking a finger at them.
"See you boys on the road," Shawn called, and then gave a wave before the car drove off.
"And we'll be waiting for you guys in Tampa," Matt mockingly called to the 'heel' team as Cena, London and himself walked off to rejoin their own team.
"I think we just got majorly fucked," Miz commented when they were out of earshot.
"Let THEM think that," Kennedy said, throwing the map to Carlito. "Then it'll be doubly satisfying when we kick their ass and get to Tampa first. Come on, get in."
"Wait, we haven't settled who's driving first yet," Morrison said.
"I'm driving then!" Kennedy declared irately. "Now LET'S GO!"
And so, with their luggage secured and all members accounted for, both teams piled into their respective SUVs. Kennedy for the heels and CM Punk for the faces gunned the engines and they were off. Both vehicles screeched out of the parking lot and it was on towards Tampa!
Cont'd
How will the guys fare with the scavenger hunt now thrown into the mix? What kind of messed up stuff will Jericho and the others think up of them to get? How will the race fare in general? Is this shaping up to be bigger (and longer) than last time? Where were my obligatory nonsensical questions in the first chapter? All and more in the next part!
