The Boys of Summer

Enjoy part two…I realize there are some questions as to how this would continue after the first chapter…I promise this isn't like, pandering or anything, I just couldn't fit it all in chapter 1…well I could but 10000 words is my limit before I need to make a new one, just me personally. Also this one is gonna throw you for a loop…it's gonna be all from Jacob's POV, and the chapter starts 2 weeks after the end of part 1. Also quick warning, remember when I said in the story description sexual situations? Well this is where that, uh, warning takes effect.

Part 2: I see you

Jacob

This is right, isn't it? This is right; it has to be right…

"Jake, you ok?" Seth was staring at me with those pearly brown eyes; my heart did a little flip in my chest. Since I imprinted on him, I've been feeling all kinds of things I hadn't previously been feeling…I wanted to hug him and kiss him and…well some other things I probably shouldn't mention.

But…I've never felt this way before. I mean, I've always imagined and figured I was gonna be with a woman…but this has changed everything, I hadn't planned on being with another man, and certainly not Seth.

"Ya, fine." I said, continuing to look out at the sea. What was I going to do…I can't leave him but I don't know if I can be with him like that…

"Aw! Don't tell me you're chickening out now!" He giggled, poking my stomach. I finally turned back to him and smiled, he looked so innocent…no clue what I was thinking, it needed to stay that way.

"Come on…let's do this already!" He looked so happy now…

He stripped off his shirt, smiled at me, and then flew off the cliff into the water below. I stripped off my own shirt and quickly followed, water engulfed me.

2 weeks later

It's been almost two weeks since I imprinted, two weeks and I still had no clue what the hell I was supposed to do. I hadn't lied, that day when I brought him those flowers, I hadn't lied about how I felt…I did feel some deep, unexplainable love for him now…but that's what scares me. I've never felt this way…I didn't know what to do with myself.

"Jake you're awfully quiet today." Emily commented, watching me from across her kitchen, it was just her and I home, Sam was out training the newest pack member and I needed someplace quiet to hang out for a while.

"You've barely touched your muffin…you alright?"

"Ya!" I said, a little too quickly, she noticed.

"Ah…how's Seth's training going? He picking up on the werewolf stuff well enough?"

"Well enough…he's still a little slow on picking some of it up, he does have some special perks though…his sense of smell is seriously fantastic, and his speed is…well, he can keep up with me, and you know I'm the fastest one in either pack."

"But?" she said curiously.

"He isn't a fighter, where he excels in speed he lacks in strength, I'm trying to teach him some good guerilla tactics but he just doesn't seem to want to fight."

"He always has been a bit of a pacifist…you know that Jake."

"Well he needs to learn Emily! He needs to know the world is all sunshine and rainbows!" I suddenly snapped. My sudden outburst surprised her just as much as it surprised me. We were quite for a second before I spoke.

"Emily I…"

"What's this really about Jake? I hope you don't snap at Seth like that…I can't really think you could because he's your imprint."

"He isn't my imprint!" I suddenly snapped again.

"I like girls Emily! Girls! Long hair and smelling like perfume and breasts and there small slender bodies and…" I stopped, what the fuck was I saying? Emily looked shocked.

"Jake…you didn't…"

"No! I did! I know I imprinted! Everytime I look at him I get inexplicably happy and I want to just pick him up and hold him and kiss him all over and everyone knows I'd jump over the damn moon if it made him happy…"

"Then why…"

"I…I don't know! I've never felt like this about another guy Emily! How would you feel if your whole life you imagined spending the rest of it with a guy…only to learn suddenly you have to be with a girl? I've never found guys attractive…now I'm suddenly suppose to be with one for the rest of my life? I don't…I don't know what I'm supposed to do Emily…I don't…" I stood up suddenly, knocking my chair over.

"I'm going on a run, I…need to go." I walked out into the forest and tied my shirt and shorts onto my leg and shifted. A cool perk of being an Alpha is being able to completely hide your thoughts from everyone in your pack and other packs, I still have to listen to everyone else's thoughts, but no one else can see or hear mine unless I let them…and even then I can limit what they see. I could hear only one voice though; only one of my pack was shifted…someone I wish wasn't shifted.

Seth

"Gotta get better. Gotta get better…" He was repeating that over and over, I could see he was practicing his attacks on a large tree in the forest. My heart hurt as I remembered being mean to him during our last practice session, he had done it wrong and I snapped at him, hurt his feelings tremendously, I felt like such an ass afterwards I spent the rest of the day saying sorry and buying him things until I earned his forgiveness. I followed the sound until I found him; I sat back and watched as he ran back and turned, then ran forward at incredible speeds and swiped at the tree before launching himself back and landing on his legs, back where he started.

"Not strong enough, dammit I'm so weak….gah Jakes gonna be mad! Leave me? No, stop it, damn paranoia…god I'm such a failure, ah stupid tree!" I've gotten used to his thoughts, which were always hectic and always left and right. One minute sad the next angry…honestly it was a psychologists wet dream, being able to see in the mind of someone bipolar. He ran forward and started slashing like crazy at the tree, going deeper and deeper into the tree. A small chunk of bark flew off and whacked his eye, he yelped.

"Ow! Dammit!" He jumped back and shifted, rubbing his eye. I had to try my hardest to ignore all the thoughts that entered my head at seeing him nude. Since shifting he has definitely put on some muscle, his abs had become more defined and he seemed to have a healthy glow to him, even though hes been eating basically anything and everything, he eats as much as I do, and I eat more than everyone in the damn pack. As fast as me, eats as much as I do…it's like we really were meant for each other.

"Ow…god dammit I'm so useless, Jake should just leave me now…" his eyes, one slightly bloodshot now, welled with tears and I knew I needed to intervene…seeing Seth cry had become possibly the worst thing ever, if he started crying I felt an urge beyond anything I've ever felt to make him happy again, if I couldn't stop those damn tears I was a failure who didn't deserve to live. I walked out into the clearing and he turned on me, seeming startled, he had been so busy he hadn't even noticed me.

"J-Jake." He said, standing and quickly trying to wipe away the tears.

"I didn't notice you…" He quickly pulled his shorts on.

"I'm fine, I just…Jake?" I walked right up to him and shifted back and quickly pulled him into a hug.

"You ok? You don't need to practice so hard, I've just been a huge jerk and my behavior has been really fucking stupid Seth. Please, please, please don't cry, can I get you anything? I can do whatever…" He pulled away so he could look up at me, blushing slightly.

"I'm ok Jake, you don't need to get me anything, that stupid piece of wood just wacked me in the eye is all…" he smiled, sending my heart all a flutter in my chest.

"But if ya want we can go to my house and hang out." I laughed a little.

"Whatever you want." He smiled and suddenly blushed.

"Oh, you're…I somehow just noticed you're…" he looked away, embarrassed and it took me a second to realize he meant he noticed I was naked.

"Oh uh…sorry." You'd think by now the two of us would be doing it all over the forest like bunnies, but I think the idea of sex both arouses and scares him and I…well I just…don't know what to do on that end of the spectrum. I pulled my shorts on and I couldn't help but noticed he was trying to be very sly and look at my package, I tensed. I could smell his arousal, he was getting hard…and that was getting me hard. I zipped up my pants before it became too evident I was hard, but by then I was almost sure he could smell it too and he was trying his best to hide his.

An uncontrollable urge to touch him came over me, my hand shot out and suddenly was rubbing his arm, and he froze as I slowly ran my hand over his skin. He was looking away at a tree, his eyes were wide and his mouth was shut tight, his hands were shaking ever so lightly. My own eyes were wide open; my breathing was coming in short quick breaths, my lips quivered. I needed my lips on him, somewhere, anywhere as long as they tasted his flesh. I fell onto my knees and he sat down hard on his butt. His back was pressed against the grass and he was staring up at the sky, still looking scared and excited. His thin shorts were shamelessly showing off the outline of his member, I could practically feel the heat and the smell…the smell was so intoxicatingly arousing I thought I'd jizz right then and there. My mouth darted forward and claimed a spot on his neck, he made a small short gasp and I couldn't stop sucking on it. His skin tasted like heaven and I found myself violently squeezing and releasing his ass. He whimpered and a thought entered my mind, a thought that didn't seem to want to leave.

The thought that this should be a girl beneath me

The thought suddenly made me feel very, very ill. I had Seth I didn't need a girl…but I've never thought of a guy…of being…in a guy…another guys member in my mouth…

"Ow!" A sudden yell snapped me out of my stupor; I didn't even realize my neck sucking had turned into biting. I quickly pulled my mouth off and stared down at him, fresh tears in his eyes.

"Damn Jake ow!"

"Fuck! I'm so sorry…"

"Ow, that hurt! You're lucky I heal so quickly…" he sat up and stared at me.

"You get a little too into it?"

"I…ya." I said, not wanting to lie but not knowing what exactly the truth was either.

"Well…we should probably go anyway, not exactly the most romantic spot." He said. He leaned his face forward, like he was about to kiss me, but I pulled away and stood, offering him my hand. If he was irked by this he didn't show it, he just took my hand and smiled.

"To my house then!"

We got back to his place and a few hours passed, his mom and Leah got home but his mom went to bed early and Leah was worn from patrolling (it was Embry, Quil, and her turn tonight) and soon was off to bed, leaving just Seth, me, and one of Michael Bay's numerous shit fests.

"Surprised we haven't seen an explosion yet." I chuckled, my arm was over Seth's shoulders and he was curled up against me. He just laughed lightly and curled a little closer to me. I smiled to myself; I liked this, just sitting around watching god awful movies and just hanging out. I looked down and was surprised to see him staring up at me.

"What?"

"Nothin." He said, smiling shyly.

"I just…I've fantasized about this for so long…" I rubbed his cheek a little and his small hand grabbed it and he said in a quiet voice.

"I wanna try something."

"Oh?" I said, my curiosity peaked. He leaned up, the tip of his nose running up my shirt until his face was right in front of mine.

"Seth…" Before I could continue he pressed his lips against my own, our first kiss. His mouth was soft and warm; I felt his tongue lightly touch my lips before he pulled back and looked a little flustered.

"I've always wanted to do that…" I shot forward and claimed his lips, making him yelp in surprise as I pressed him roughly against the couch. He didn't seem to know what to do, but as I forced my tongue inside his mouth, he seemed to get into the groove of it and soon we were making out like two professional kissers. My mind felt hazy, like what had happened in the clearing in the forest, I wasn't completely in control of my actions…all I knew was that here he was, and he was so beautiful, and his lips were lined with nicotine. I ran my fingers through his short hair, he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, they were resting on my chest now as he fell onto his back and I leaned over him. God his hair is so short, she needs to let it grow out more, more fit for a woman…wait, what? Did I just…

I pulled my tongue out; I quickly sat myself up and leaned away, my breath coming in short breaths…so much kissing and I had forgotten to breathe. He stayed lying down for a bit, taking in deep breaths as he tried to recover. I watched him and soon found myself almost going for him again, his crotch had an admirable bulge and I wanted to rip his pants off and finger his vag…I...

"Well that was…unexpected." He said, sitting up and attempting to put his hair back together but failing miserable.

"You ok? You look…freaked out." He said, giving me a concerned look.

"I…I am, I'm fine. I just…forgot I needed to tell Sam about some…patrol changes."

"Oh…well that's not a big deal, don't worry so mu…"

"No it's a big deal, like I need to head over to Emily and Sam's and tell him right now…" He looked surprised and disappointed.

"Oh…" I leaned forward and gave him an awkward peck on the lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He nodded, seeming happier now that I kissed him.

"Ya." I pulled on my boots and opened the front door.

"Love you!" He said, I flinched and turned.

"Night." I faked my best smile and left. I felt around for my keys and found they were gone, where were they? Shit! Did they fall out during the making out? Fuck I can't go back…oh, shit that's right I walked here! Hahahaha…ha….

I pulled off my clothing, tied it to my leg, and shifted. I blocked my mind, Embry and Quil really didn't need to know what was going through my head. I arrived at the house in under a minute and quickly shifted back and threw on my clothing.

"Oh! Hey Jake….Jake? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Emily said, looking concerned, Sam was sitting at the table eating but he perked as he saw my expression.

"What happened? Leeches? One of my pack attack yours?"

"I can't stop imagining women when I make out with Seth!" I snapped. Emily looked surprised; Sam dittoed her expression but also looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"Hey um, honey why don't you go…" He grabbed his food and left the room, she sighed.

"Jake…"

"I don't…I don't know what to do Emily! Earlier, I found Seth in the forest and he hurt himself and I felt so much concern…but pride! Pride at seeing my little Seth practicing and doing so well…then things got kinda hot and it felt so right…but then it all turned and it felt wrong and I bit him and…just now at his house I started thinking he was a woman and he needed longer hair and…I don't know!" I sat down hard and I covered my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"Jake…I know this is all confusing for you right now, I mean I get it…you're straight, but you imprinted on another guy, and now your mind doesn't seem to know what it wants."

"It's all some kind of cosmic joke…and this is the punch line." I said bitterly.

"I don't know what to tell you Jake…except you need to let Seth know, talk it out…figure it out Jake, it'll all work out in the end." She said, smiling weakly.

I left soon after and when I got home I found my dad sitting in the kitchen, an album on the table in front of him. I frowned, it was the family album, the family album that was mostly filled with images of…mom. My heart ached a little.

"Hey." I said. Dad didn't look up, I walked over and sat across from him, I could hear the light pitter patter of rain hitting the roof.

"Oh, hey Jake…" He quickly closed the album and pushed it down the table, away from where we both sat.

"Hey dad…that time of year again isn't it?" I said.

"Next Tuesday…you know that." I nodded slowly.

"Ya I…I know."

"Rachel's birthday is tomorrow too." I smiled.

"Ya, was looking forward to seeing my big sister again, too bad she got caught up with work…how longs it been? Since Christmas I think…"

"New years." Dad said, smiling.

"Remember? She got a bit tipsy, though so did I!" he let out his loud boisterous laugh at the memory and I chuckled along with him, my mind filled with the image of dad wheeling himself into a wall, I had been the only sober one that night, well on my side of the family anyway, Seth didn't touch a drop…he was too busy…pining over me. I grimaced internally; the thoughts of how he had suffered always made me want to skin myself.

"Your mother would have enjoyed herself…if she hadn't…drowned…" Memories filled my mind, mom falling off the cliffs, falling into rocks and then being sucked out to sea, never to be seen again…I had saw it all firsthand but I had only been 9 at the time, I couldn't do a thing…no nine year old needs to see that. They had never found the body…but she had rammed the rocks, and she had no werewolf gifts, so it was safe to assume she was gone.

"Dad, you should probably head to bed." I said, he looked up at me sadly.

"Why did you turn out gay?"

"I'm not." I said, trying to hide my shock at the sudden change of subject.

"Ya, you've just…imprinted on another boy."

"He's not just another boy…he's Seth." I said, suddenly feeling defensive.

"Well…" he looked like he wanted to argue, but he simply didn't seem to have it in him.

"What would your mother think?" He didn't sound angry or like he had said it out of malice…it was like he was truly curious and asking me a question I didn't have an answer for. I tensed as he left the room, I sat back down hard and tried to clear my head of the images of mom falling and ramming the rocks, her stomach bursting open, blood…so much blood.

I hit my head, hard, against my fist and went to bed.


My dream that night was vivid and real, which is rare for me as I usually don't remember my dreams besides random tidbits.

I was standing on the cliffs, the sea was bright blue and clear, the sun was out, not a cloud in the sky.

"I really don't miss the rain." A familiar voice said next to me. I turned, Seth, my Seth, was standing there. He was wearing shorts and an open button up T, showing off his stomach and chest. He turned and smiled at me, his eyes a brighter color brown than normal.

"Wanna race?"

"You're on." I said, grinning. I stripped off my shirt, leaving me in plain khaki shorts and Tennis shoes. He suddenly ran right off the cliff…but was floating in air and walking like he was on land. This didn't seem strange in the least to me, I ran after him. He was laughing and so was I, I kept running but he was so damn quick! I ran and ran until finally he stopped to catch his breath. I ran up and pulled him into a hug, the cliffs and the beach looked far out now, at least a football field away.

"Doesn't the water look so blue?" he said, smiling, staring down at the water. I looked down with him.

"Hey Jake…you like me right?"

"Of course." I said, laughing at the stupidity of the question.

"I mean like like…you love me right?" I frowned.

"I…I don't know." He smiled.

"Would you like me better…like this?" I looked over, shocked at what I saw. He looked completely different, yet, exactly the same. His hair was long and curly, long enough to reach just below his breasts…his breasts, he had boobs. They weren't too big, but worked on his small frame. His shorts and shirt had turned into a light yellow dress, his face was still his but…more feminine, it's hard to explain.

"How about this? You like me better? You know I'd do anything for you…"

"I…I don't…" he walked forward and grabbed my hands, forced me to run them through his hair.

"How about now? Don't you love me?" His hair fell out; he turned back into normal Seth, clothes and everything.

"You don't love me." He took a few steps back.

"Of course I love you!" I said, my eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"I love you! I can't live without you!"

"If you love me then why don't you love me?!" he cried. Suddenly he started to fall, his eyes filled with pain.

"SETH!" I cried. I ran and soon was falling after him. The sky was black and filled with stars, the ocean had turned black and filled with stars, I didn't know if I was falling down or up…it was like a mix of both yet neither of them. He was sucked into the black sky and I followed after him.

I woke with a start; my nude form was covered in sweat. I tossed off my fur covers, grabbed my cellphone, and then walked into the bathroom. I splashed water in my face then stared at my cellphone.

"5:35, perfect." I mumbled to myself. I shook my head, the memories of that dream still fresh in my head. I wanted to just go to bed, but I didn't feel tired anymore…but I did feel sticky and sweaty and just plain gross. I jumped in the shower and spent a good half an hour just sitting under the water, even after the soap had all washed off and down the drain. I dried and walked back into my room and threw on my favorite pair of jeans and an old ratty T shirt. I sat down on the edge of my bed and shook my head, I needed something to distract me, I needed some alone time.

I wrapped a bandana around my forehead and walked out into the cold morning air. I walked back around the house into the garage and closed it behind me. I took a deep smell; the garage always smelled like gasoline and cut grass…it smelled like home. I smiled as I took off the large blanket covering the car. I had finished the Rabbit a few months ago, but the damn thing had started to drag, it didn't accelerate as quickly and the brakes were becoming very loud, I knew it was time to start working on it again to figure out what was up. This was definitely what I needed right now, alone time to just work on the car and forget about everything, hell I even turned off my phone so I couldn't be bothered!

I'm not sure how much time passed, 5 minutes or 5 hours, but I know I was drawn out of my peaceful bliss when there was a banging on my garage door.

"JAKE!" Leah's voice snarled through the door. I sighed, nothing lasts forever I suppose. I dropped the wrench and wiped my grease covered fingers on a towel before unlocking the door and letting a little light into the garage…didn't help much, the sky was dark, probably going to rain again.

"Yes?" I said, making it obvious I was annoyed by being disturbed.

"Where the hell have you been?!" She snapped. I frowned, I usually didn't take being yelled at by someone underneath my rank as an Alpha all that seriously…but I really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Watch your tone Leah, I'm your Alpha and I'm really not in the mood to be yelled at." She stifled whatever she was about to say back down in her throat and simply said.

"I've been trying to call you."

"Is someone dead? Is someone about to die?"

"Well…no." she said.

"But..."

"But nothing…god dammit I just want a few hours to myself to work on my car and just…take a breather! I need a break, you're my second in command Leah…if I'm not there you can handle it, and if you're not there I handle it, that's the deal."

"I know but…Jake I get that you need some alone time but this is important!" She said, suddenly seeming really upset in the 'about to cry' way, which for Leah was very abnormal…something must seriously be wrong. I frowned at her.

"What happened?"

"It's Seth…" My heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

"What happened?!" I repeated, only a lot louder and a lot angrier.

"It was Embry, Seth, and I's turn to patrol, along with Paul and Jared from the other pack…you know Seth is still kind of learning the ropes…"

"Get to the point!" I snapped.

"He was running too fast…you know hes probably faster than you now…and he lost control and ran into a tree, we think he might have broken something, hes at the Cullens with Car…" I stopped paying attention. I stripped and tied my clothing to my leg then shifted and ran as fast as I could. I could hear Leah trailing behind me but she wouldn't catch me…not even a vampire could catch me I was going so fast. I arrived just as Edward and Alice were coming outside to greet me. I shifted back, not caring that I was nude in front of them, and snarled.

"Where is he?!"

"Upstairs, we need help he isn't…" suddenly my world was filled with the sound of Seth, screaming in pain. I ignored them and threw my clothes back on and barreled past them.

"Seth?!" I yelled, busting into the room. I cringed, he was lying on a couch in what looked like a study, Carlisle was holding one arm while the big one, Emmet, was seeming to have some trouble holding Seth down, who was thrashing like crazy. I snarled at Emmet and he immediately backed off.

"What did you do?!" I growled at Carlisle.

"Nothing, yet, Jacob his arm is not broken but hes knocked it far out of its socket, he also knocked a couple fingers on his other hand out of place and he broke his nose…I can reset them but he won't stop thrashing and he's been asking for you. I need you to hold him down."

"Jake." Seth whimpered next to me. I turned and finally noticed the damage. Two of his fingers were bruised bent at odd angles. His arm was dangling loosely in Carlisle's hands, and his nose was bruised and bent at an odd angle.

"I…need to hold you down, you can do this, and I'll be here the whole time." I said. He looked at me sadly.

"Where…where were you?" I felt a sharp pain in my heart.

"I was….it's not important right now ok?"

"Seth we're going to reposition you alright? We'll fix the nose first; it'll be the easiest, then the fingers then the arm." I sat on the couch and they had Seth sit in my lap, this way I could wrap my legs and arms around him to hold him down if need be.

"Ok, here we go…" Carlisle reached forward and grabbed his nose, but Seth jerked his head away. I reached up with my hand and twisted his head back towards Carlisle; my fingers held his head steady. Carlisle grabbed his nose and made a quick jerk, I heard bone pop and Seth let out a scream that made me want to kill anything that would dare even come near him, I wanted to protect him from the world…and that scream in my ears told me I was failing.

"I'm gonna kill you Carlisle!" I hissed, I didn't mean them; they just sorta escaped my lips.

"I understand, and I apologize once again." He said, not seemed phased by my words.

"Fingers next." Seth held the fingers close to himself; I was forced to hold his hand out. Carlisle seemed to know he needed to work quickly, so he darted at vampiric speed and snapped them both back into place before Seth even had time to scream. Seth's mouth opened but no sound came out, just a voiceless scream. I twisted his head a little and kissed and stroked his hair.

"It's ok; it's almost over, almost over…" Now came the worst part….putting the arm back in its socket.

"Jake! Jake no, no, no…" Carlisle grabbed his limp arm as he struggled against my body. I forced his head against my chest and tightened my hold on his body, he was completely immobile now.

"Do it quickly." I hissed. Carlisle blurred, I heard a loud pop, and Seth let out the most heartbreaking cry I'd ever heard in my entire life.

"Ok, now the natural healing will take effect." Carlisle said, giving Seth a pitying look as he sobbed against my chest.

"Just sleep Seth, just sleep…when you wake up all the pain will be gone." I whispered into his hair. He stopped sobbing and it took me a minute to realize he'd passed out.

"Jacob, can we talk?" Carlisle asked. I looked up and noticed it was just the 3 of us in the room.

"I don't want to leave Seth." I mumbled, holding him closely to me.

"He's unconscious, and I will be quick." He insisted. I looked up and nodded. I stood and laid Seth down on the couch and tossed a small quilt over him and propped his head up with a small pillow. He looked peaceful now, his breathing was long and slow. I walked with Carlisle out of the room; he massaged his nose before looking back up at me.

"If you don't mind my asking, where were you?"

"I was in my garage at home…I had…wanted some alone time is all, I needed a break, I guess I had forgotten my phone inside or it was off I can't remember." I said, letting my shame be evident on my face.

"He refused to let us help him Jacob, much longer and his natural healing would have taken effect and his bones would have been stuck like that…we would have had to break a couple of them so we could set them back properly, which would have put him through a pain I can't even imagine…he wanted you, and we couldn't find you."

"I know! Don't you think I don't know that!?" I snapped.

"Don't you think I don't feel like scum? Like the worst kind of man imaginable? I mean I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for hurting her you know? I care about him so much…"

"You said her." Carlisle said.

"What?" I asked.

"You just said her, you said for hurting her…are you alright Jacob?" He said, eyeing me over.

"I'm...fine." I said, not lying very convincingly.

"Jacob…I know things are still a bit rough between our two respective parties, but you must know we are friends, and you can trust us."

"Ok…" I let it all out then, told him everything. I couldn't have stopped talking even if I wanted to…it was just something I needed to say out loud. I was finally done and he was quiet the whole time, never looking shocked or disgusted like I thought he would have. He finally spoke after a minute of silence.

"I must admit I've never heard of something like that happening before…as you might have known I've been working with that nice woman Emily and learning more about your legends and such, so maybe I might be better at treating you all in the future when medical emergencies arise, but I have to say…something like that has never been mentioned before."

"I don't know what to do Carlisle…I care about him more than life itself, I know, I know, I've imprinted on him, I just…don't know what to do." I said, leaning against the door to the room. Carlisle was quiet for a minute.

"Jacob…I have a degree in many things as you can imagine and for a while early on in my immortal life I was a psychiatrist so let me give you my best diagnoses…get over it." I stared at him, not quite getting it.

"What?"

"Get over it, Seth is never going to be a girl, Seth is a boy and will always be a boy, he will always be the same age, he will always be the same gender, and he will always be Seth. I realize the problem Jacob, but you have to just accept the fact that he can never change, you will not have a woman, you have your soul mate now Jacob…get over it." Carlisle chuckled.

"Sorry, my skills as a psychiatrist are a bit…rusty." I was silent as he suddenly looked me right in the eye.

"Now go back in there, take care of him, watch over him, make him feel loved like he's never felt before…he's had a hard life Jacob, please don't make it any more difficult for him. I know this is hard for you…but you have to put his feelings above your own."

I said nothing, I simply stared at him, hard, and finally nodded before walking back into the room and picking Seth up bridal style.

"Hey…" His eyes opened just a little, looking a little bleary.

"Hey, I'm taking you home." I whispered, nuzzling his nose with my own.

"Oh ok…you don't need to carry…"

"Yes I do…I'm not letting go of you." I said in an end of discussion voice.

"Ok…" a small smile crossed his face and he looked at me looking a little embarrassed.

"Can I…have a kiss?" he asked. I tensed a little and stared back down at him, we had only gotten about halfway down the stairs. I leaned down and planted a slow kiss to his lips. I pulled away and he had a dreamy smile on his face.

"Thanks."

"You don't have to ask…if you want one just do it." I said with a small smile.

"Ok." He said grinning.

I took him outside and handed my clothing to him before shifting and gesturing for him to get on. He was already almost recovered by the time we got back.

"Jake…thank you." He said shyly. I frowned.

"Don't thank me…I was late, I should have been there sooner."

"No, Jake its fine…" he looked away nervously but my frown stayed.

"You should have let him treat you though Seth…you could have healed like that and he would have had to re break everything to fix you." He stared at me.

"You're mad aren't you? I made you mad." I stared surprised.

"What? No you didn't…"

"I fucked up, I'm sorry; I'm such a loser, such an idiot!" He smacked his head in anger.

"I can't believe how stupid I am!" He looked like he was about to cry.

"Seth stop!" I snapped. I pulled him into a hug.

"Seth, I'm not mad, you didn't fuck up ok? You're perfect, perfect and I care so much about you, you're perfect." I whispered into his hair.

"Oh…ok." He said, sounding unsure. I leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Let's get you in bed alright?"

"Ya." He said, smiling.


I woke up from a dream again, the same one from before. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, feeling like crap. I looked over with bleary eyes at the clock, 3 AM, damn. I stood and walked nude into my bathroom and ran water over my face. I stared at myself in the mirror for a minute before walking back into my room and lying back down. I looked over and grabbed my phone, not really sure why I was doing this. I flipped through until I found Seth's number (he was Seth! With a bunch of hearts next to his name in my contacts, mostly his idea…though in his defense I was Jacob 'Soul Mate' Black in his so…) and called. To my surprise he answered almost immediately.

"Can't sleep either huh?" he asked.

"I just woke up to be honest…crappy dream."

"That's funny me too…bad dream…" his voice trailed off and I frowned.

"Hey…want to come over?"

"Right now?" He said, sounding surprised.

"Ya, sneak over, like we used to." I chuckled. I could practically hear him smile.

"Alright, I'll be over in a minute, keep your window open." He hung up and I sighed loudly, what was I doing? All I can think about is him right now…and yet…that dream…him a woman, I can't accept him, falling...

My thoughts trailed off for a second before I realized I was still naked. I quickly pulled on a pair of old sweats and didn't bother with a shirt before there was a quiet knock at my window. I smiled and pulled the blinds up, Seth was smiling at me in the moon, and he also was only wearing a pair of sweats. I smiled back and pushed the window up and like a cat he jumped in and jumped on my floor, barely making a sound. I pushed the window back down and pulled the curtains back down, leaving the room in almost complete darkness.

"Jake I can't see very well." He whispered.

"One second." I chuckled, pulling him into a hug and kissing the top of his head.

"Ok." He giggled. I stumbled until I found the lamp next to my bed and turned it on, lighting the room up with an eerie golden light. I walked to my door and quickly locked it before turning to find him sitting on my bed under the covers, smiling at me.

"What?" I chuckled. He smiled and held up his hand and tossed something at me, my breathing hitched as I realized it was his shorts. He smiled and said.

"I'd take my underwear off too…but I figured I'd leave that up to you." I felt my cock stand in attention almost immediately; it wasn't long before I was fully hard. He watched the tent form and a blush covered his cheeks. I walked to my side of the bed and pulled down my shorts, leaving me completely exposed to him.

"I…never realized how…big you were when you got hard." He shifted uncomfortably and I crawled in, no emotions crossing my face.

I felt it then, some sort of primal need and want took over my body, and I needed to feel every inch of him, every centimeter needed to be attended too, and the same need from before in the forest. I could smell his arousal, which only made my want even more prominent. I cupped his cheek and rubbed, I wanted to start slow, attend to his needs first, then my own. He leaned into my hand and his own hands trailed over my body, he leaned forward and cautiously wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me. I kissed back and soon our tongues were fighting before mine won and I was in his mouth, exploring hallowed cheeks and hard teeth. Our kissing grew in intensity until finally he needed to breath and pulled away, but I wasn't done. I slowly kissed his jaw and worked my way down his body. I forced him to lie flat then kissed down his chest until I reached his briefs. I quickly yanked them off and tossed them away until I found his member. It was certainly smaller than mine but not something to be ashamed of that's for sure, about 5 inches long, moderately thick, perfect for him. I watched it twitching, already a little precum leaked from its head, slightly swollen, he was ready to cum.

"Jake…" he whimpered. I roughly grabbed it, making him gasp. It took me a second to remember to be gentle and my grip loosened, I gently started to pump him just like I'd like to be pumped. Considering this was my first handjob, I'd say I wasn't doing too bad considering the noises he was making and the squirming.

"Feel good?" I chuckled, enjoying greatly the pleasure on his face and the way he was squirming around ever so slightly.

"Yes! You know it does." He whimpered. I stopped suddenly and changed position so I was lying next to him on my side.

"C'mere." I said. He moved so his back was pressed up against my chest, he was using my right arm as a pillow. I used my left arm to reach back down and wrapped my hand around him. He moaned as I started to pump him again, his body pressed tightly up against mine…his ass rubbing up against my own cock.

"Ahh fuck baby keep moving like that…feels really good." I groaned against his ear. He started moving his ass up and down; the friction it sent against my cock was astounding.

"Gonna…gonna…" he started moaning louder until finally he gasped and I watched cum sputter out of him, coating the sheets in cum.

"Don't stop…moving your ass...it's gonna make me go too." I growled against his ear. He started rubbing his ass faster and harder, I felt the precum coating my dick and the pressure building. I pushed him onto his stomach suddenly and shoved my cock in between his perfect ass cheeks. I grabbed them and squeezed them together. He clenched them himself which proved to make it feel even better. I started to thrust then, back and forth until it soon was becoming too much.

"Gonna cum baby ok?"

"Ok." He gasped out. I suddenly reached my boiling point and let out a loud groan as I splattered his back with my cum. I loosened my grip and fell onto my side, feeling tired and spent. I grabbed an old T shirt and wiped the cum from his back and got as much of it out of the bed as possible before tossing it away and pulling the covers over us.

"Let's go to sleep baby." I mumbled, feeling exhausted.

"Ok." He said, I noticed he was smiling.

"What?" I said.

"I just…I always dreamed of something like this, being here with you, like this…it just seems so surreal now that it's actually happening and it's not just some dream in my head."

"I'm sorry." I said, frowning.

"I was a fool, I should have noticed so much earlier that you had feelings for me, I guess my being straight and liking girls just kind of shaded that part of me."

"Ya…" he was frowning, staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing…let's just sleep." He said, shaking his head and smiling. I leaned down and kissed his nose before wrapping him up in my arms and falling asleep.


"How much longer?"

"Hmm?"

"How much longer do we have till summer ends?"

"Dunno, a month I think?" I said, wiping the grease off my hand onto a small towel.

"So what's wrong with it exactly?" Seth asked. I wheeled out from under the car and smiled sweetly at him.

"Nothing too serious, just has a small leak, won't take much longer to repair it…" He was wearing these tight little shorts and a sleeveless hoodie, showing off those beautiful little arms of his.

"God Seth you got to wear those clothes? It's distracting me." I chuckled. He frowned.

"I…I'm sorry…" He looked down at himself worried.

"I…I can go home and change…" I laughed suddenly and leant forward and planted a small little peck on his lips.

"I meant it in a good way." He suddenly smiled; looking relieved, and spread his legs and let them rest on my hips as I pulled him tightly up against me. I was wearing only a jumpsuit, something I liked to wear sometimes when I work on the car and I know I'm going to get dirty. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I let my hands rest on his hips.

"Hey" he said, smiling shyly.

"Hey." I replied back, nuzzling his nose with my own. I smiled as he grabbed a towel and rubbed some oil off of my neck.

"C'mon." I chuckled.

"You can help me…"

A sudden knock at the door made both Seth and I jump.

"Hello?" A voice called.

"In here Leah, it's unlocked." Seth said. The door opened and Leah strolled in, but stopped when she saw how close Seth and I were.

"Oh…oh geez I'm sorry am I interrupting something? I can like, come back…"

"No it's fine we weren't doing anything…"

"Yet." Seth mumbled, so low only I could hear it. I struggled not to laugh as I finished talking.

"…why what's up?"

"Emily just wanted to make sure you guys were going to show up to the bon fire tonight, asked me to come ask you, I've been…helping her out a bit today." I smiled, for the longest time Leah resented and hated Emily…it's nice to see she is finally starting to move on.

"Of course we will." Seth answered, smiling.

"Ah great, I'll tell her…oh and last thing, Billy was supposed to have bought some like, chicken salad or something that I was supposed to pick up?"

"Ya its inside in the fridge go ahead and grab it doors unlocked."

"Right, thanks…" she awkwardly turned and hurried out, probably because during the conversation Seth had started rubbing his thighs slowly up and down my hips, proving to make me feel very horny all of a sudden.

"So…what are you wearing under that jumpsuit if you don't mind my asking." He said, trying so hard to be sexy…but he just never will in my eyes, he's always questioning himself, never sure if he's going to screw up and always thinking he did somehow…but he's getting so much better, looking healthier…and the depressed Seth I knew from a couple weeks ago would never be this bold.

"Horny are we?" I said, grinning. I watched him seem to bundle up his courage and he unzipped my jumpsuit and I grinned as I let it fall down a bit, leaving my torso and chest bare, turning my jumpsuit into essentially pants.

"I'm normally nude, or maybe just sweats, who knows…." I chuckled as he blushed a deep shade of red. He leant up and planted a rushed kiss to my lips; I laughed and pulled him off.

"What's the rush?"

"Just want to make up for lost time." He said a tint of sadness in his voice. His words felt like a tiny dagger in my chest.

"I…see, sorry." I said, embarrassed.

"Don't be, you know me…always have to make things sad." He got quiet, I planted another kiss on him but the moment had already passed, he wasn't as into it as I was.

"What do you want to do Seth?" I asked, kissing him again and again. He looked up into my eyes and said in a quiet voice.

"I'm…kind of embarrassed to say…" I laughed.

"Kid, when have we ever held back from each other? C'mon, bring it!" I said, playfully tapping his shoulder with a fist.

"I want…to race." I laughed.

"Oh?"

"In wolf form…I want to see how fast I am." He said, he looked determined and I gave him a quizzical look.

"What brought this on?"

"I don't know…I guess I just really want to try racing you in wolf form, I've been told you're the fastest in all the packs." I smiled.

"Also the strongest and biggest…not to sound like I'm bragging or anything." He smiled and playfully punched my chest.

"Then c'mon, let's see who the best is…Leah told me I was just as fast as you are, thanks to my small limber body." I grinned a toothy grin.

"Ah, then let's do it kid." He grinned right back and soon we were walking out of my garage and into the forest. We walked in silence for a few minutes before entering a large clearing.

"Alright, rules." I said, unzipping my jumpsuit.

"No messing with each other, this is strictly a race. We race to the big rocks over there see?" The rocks in question were about 2 football fields away.

"We have to tap the biggest rock with a paw, and then race back to this spot got it? Whoever touches this tree?" I placed a hand on the tree.

"Wins. Got it?"

"Got it." He said, kicking off his shoes and socks, and then taking off his hoodie.

"You're going down kiddo." I said, grinning. He laughed.

"Please, you are so going down Black."

"Bring it Clearwater." I said, dropping the jumpsuit and tossing aside the sweats I had been wearing underneath, leaving me nude. He tossed his own underwear away and stood. I couldn't help but look him over before walking two steps then shifting right in front of him, the familiar tingle when I change a welcome surprise.

"Oh, hey Jake!" Embry suddenly greeted me in my head.

"What…" Seth suddenly shifted next to me, his small little sand colored wolf looking so perfect next to mine.

"WOAH! Is this really happening!? DUDE! I gotta grab everyone!" Before I could say anything he was gone, not seconds later, more and more voices started popping up in our heads and soon the whole pack was shifted, suddenly Sam entered my mind and his pack was in my head as well, every single wolf was shifted and watching.

"20 bucks on Jake!" someone said loudly.

"Naw man you haven't seen Seth, I'll gladly take that bet!"

"We can wait and do this later if you want, when there is less….company." I mumbled to Seth. That got a few protests but Seth laughed loudly, shutting a few of them up.

"Scared Jake? C'mon, can't take little old me?" Seth said, some kind of fire burning in his belly. That earned a few Ooo's and more bets on Seth. I frowned, and stared at wolf him, he was doing a damn good job hiding his thoughts, but I was getting a couple things…he was extremely determined to do this, and I couldn't hide my concern, neither could his sister.

"Seth…" Leah started.

"3!" he suddenly shouted, everyone got deathly quiet.

"2!" he bent his front legs, ready to kick off, I did the same.

"1!" He shot forward like a cannon but I was bigger, I wasn't as ready as him but I was quickly able to keep up. We both rushed forward, I couldn't believe he was keeping up with me so well! I pushed myself as hard as I could and started to get a little bit ahead. We were both pushing ourselves so hard we couldn't really hide what was in our heads; I could hear how hard he was pushing himself, everything he had. I got ahead and landed my paw on the rock first then quickly twisted and headed back, I saw him rushed past me and going straight for the rock…going WAY too fast.

"Seth!" I heard the panic in a few of the heads but then I saw what he did in my head, and it was insane. He suddenly jumped onto the rock and used the momentum to push himself off, flying through the air like a bullet and landing right next to me, keeping pace.

I couldn't hide the extreme pride that ran through my mind, before focusing right back into the race. We were neck and neck, the tree was coming fast, and he suddenly took one final dive and went flying through the air. Suddenly he was a human again, flying through the air. I was so stunned I forgot we were racing for just the briefest moment...but not the fact that he was human again, rushing through the air like a rocket.

The fact that he had tears in his eyes was what stunned me

He suddenly shivered and he shifted again, in mid air. When he became human, he got much smaller and a lot faster, so suddenly turning back into a wolf seemed to give him what he needed, the distance ahead of me. He swiped the tree and left claw marks just before I did. I tumbled a bit going past I had been going so fast, so did he. We both lied there as the stunned voices of the pack members filled our ears, clapping and cheers, congrats to Seth, someone called what he did cheating but it was quickly quieted. I didn't care that I had lost; I just stared at him as he stared back at me, so much pain in his eyes and I couldn't understand…oh.

A single image filled my head, it was me, talking to Emily, and it was when I told her I couldn't stop thinking of girls.

"What's this really about Jake? I hope you don't snap at Seth like that…I can't really think you could because he's your imprint."

"He isn't my imprint!"

"I like girls Emily! Girls! Long hair and smelling like perfume and breasts and there small forms and…"

The race, I was so into it I wasn't able to hide my thoughts, he had been searching through them the whole time, and he saw everything. All I could do was ask why. A memory appeared, us last night.

"I just…I always dreamed of something like this, being here with you, like this…it just seems so surreal now that it's actually happening and it's not just some dream in my head."

"I'm sorry."

"I was a fool, I should have noticed so much earlier that you had feelings for me, I guess my being straight and liking girls just kind of shaded that part of me."

"Ya…"

"What?"

"Nothing…let's just sleep."

My slip of the tongue was what had caused this, he knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what, so he decided to take matters into his own hands and knew a race would make me slip, he'd be able to figure out what was wrong…and now he knew everything.

"Seth…"

"Don't…just…don't." He started to walk slowly away from me; I quickly got up and ran after him.

"Seth!"

"I SAID DON'T!" his voice cracked. He turned on me and bit my shoulder, it didn't hurt more as surprise me and I jumped back.

"God damn you!" he was sobbing, a mixture of sadness and anger. I couldn't help but get emotional as well.

"Don't you get how fucking hard this is for me Seth?! I have NEVER had any interest in another man…and suddenly I'm supposed to be with one?! This isn't easy for me Seth! Ok?! I'm fucking trying Seth!"

"AND YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME JAKE!? You think I didn't start off straight too? I wanted kids Jake! I wanted a beautiful wife and a shit ton of kids, because that's who I was supposed to be Jake! But instead I fucking met you and I love you so fucking much it hurts Jake, I know I can't live without you, I don't ... I can't…FUCK!" He suddenly shot off into the forest and disappeared from sight, I couldn't get myself to chase him, all I felt was bitter and sad and pain that he was in pain and I knew there wasn't a thing I could do to ease the pain.

I ignored the voices of the other pack members and hid my thoughts from them all. I walked back home then shifted back on my back porch and went into my room and hid under my covers, anger and sadness filled me as the smell of Seth was still on my bed.


I wasn't sure how long I had slept; all I knew was that it was raining outside again. I grabbed my phone and checked, it was about 4:30 in the afternoon, I had slept for about 6 hours. I also had about 20 texts and 10 missed calls. 3 of the calls were from Leah, another 3 from Emily, and 4 surprisingly from Alice Cullen. I checked the texts; all of them were from a variety of people but not the one person who really mattered. I got up and decided to shower. I didn't use really any soap or anything; I just sat under the water until I felt like it was good enough then turned it off. I dried and got dressed in a pair of dark jeans, a tight fitting, plain blue, V neck t shirt, and my favorite pair of boots.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Alice's number; she didn't respond first call so I tried again, this time she answered.

"What do you want dog?" She sounded pissed off.

"Where is he?" I said, monotone.

"I'm not saying…he doesn't want to see you right now."

"Couldn't be any more obvious that he was over there if you tried." I said. She let out a single angry laugh.

"Actually he isn't, you aren't going to find him until he wants you too…you hurt him Jacob, you really, really did…you should have seen him when he came over here, he was broken Jacob, absolutely broken."

"Shut the fuck up leech, and tell me where he is or I swear to fucking god I will come over there…"

"Sorry Jake, I promised him I wouldn't say a word." With that she hung up and I cursed that woman to fucking hell. I stood and quickly got downstairs and got onto my motorcycle since the Rabbit was still being worked on. I drove down to Forks, not caring that it was pouring rain and I was driving a damn motorcycle. I drove for a good half an hour before finally arriving at the Cullen house. I went to knock on the door but Edward was quicker and opened the door before I had a chance to knock.

"He isn't here." Edward said in an emotionless voice.

"Bullshit." I growled, pushing past him.

"You have a lot of nerve!" Alice snapped. I snarled at her, sounding more wolf than man, and that made her jump in surprise, which gave me a bit of satisfaction.

"Stupid dog!" Alice snapped.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" a voice rang. All of us stopped and looked up the stairs. Carlisle was down them in a flash and looked at both of them.

"Both of you leave, I want to speak with Jacob privately."

"But, Carlisle…"

"Alice my dear, I know you are just watching over young Seth, but this doesn't require needless violence, I am simply going to speak to Jacob…alone."

"I…ok…" She turned and was gone, Edward right behind her.

"Hey!" I snapped. I took a step to follow but a gentle, yet firm, hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Jacob, you'll learn where Seth is eventually, just take a breath, I only wish to talk to you." I had much respect for this man, so it wasn't hard for me to calm down and nod my head.

"Alright, then let's talk."

"Not here, follow me to my office." He walked up the stairs, me trailing behind him.

We didn't speak until we arrived at his office, a very nice looking room with walls lined with books and a single, mahogany desk to bring it all together. The last time I had been here Seth had been on the couch, crying in pain.

"Drink?"

"Water if you have it." I mumbled, taking a seat in a very nice leather arm chair. He grabbed a water bottle out of a small mini fridge and tossed it to me. He sat on the edge of his desk and took a deep, unneeded breath, before speaking.

"You really managed to fuck up this time didn't you Jacob?"

"Ya…ya I did." I said, finding it increasingly hard to look at him.

"Would you like to explain your side? It was a bit hard to understand Seth, what with him sobbing the entire time…" I quickly explained what happened and he sighed.

"Ah, a slip of the tongue was what caused all of this…mess."

"I didn't even realize I had done it at the time Carlisle, it's like..."

"Your subconscious isn't exactly happy with how things are going." He finished, staring at me.

"You really did a number on him Jacob…after about an hour of crying he just…stopped. He just sat there looking so completely dead to the world…something broke in him Jacob, I don't know if it's just years of stress and frustration or what but all I know is if he wasn't broken before he certainly is now."

"I…I know Carlisle, I know. I feel like shit Carlisle, I feel like total scum of the Earth…"

"Jacob, you have to realize something…you and he are going to be together…forever."

"I already know that Carlisle…"

"No, Jacob, you don't. You say you do but a part inside of you isn't letting you accept it. You have to think about this Jacob, you have to think long and hard on the fact that you two are going to be together, there is no fighting it, you love him don't you?"

"Of course I do." I said, how could he even ask that?

"And he loves you just as much as you love him correct?"

"Ha! Not anymore…"

"The answer is yes." He said, interrupting me.

"Jacob…he will never be a woman, he isn't going to suddenly have a female anatomy, he isn't going to suddenly have a woman's voice, he will never carry a child inside of him. He is a boy Jacob, a 17 year old immortal boy. The sooner you come to accept that the sooner both of you can be happy and get on with your lives…together." I frowned and stared at him.

"I..I'm fucking trying, ok? I'm fucking trying Carlisle, after he hurt himself the two of us…did so much together and it all felt so…right for a while, but that stupid slip of the tongue…I thought I had come to accept it Carlisle, I really fucking did, but I see now I haven't." I took a swig of the water and stood.

"I haven't…but I know I have to try, for him. I…I don't know where I have to go to be able to change for him…but I…I'm going to find it, that place I need to be I…I'll find it, I have to." He simply nodded.

"And I wish you all the luck in the world…both of you."

"Thank you." I turned to leave.

"Oh and Jake? One more thing." I kept walking.

"Don't fuck up." He said, a tint of humor in his velvety voice.

"You going to find him?" a voice said as I exited Carlisle's office.

"If you won't tell me, then I'll tear down the forest and Forks and anything else in my way until I do." I said, walking down the stairs.

"No need for that." Alice said, trailing behind me.

"I told him you were looking for him; he said to tell you to…well, he used some choice words, but it mostly amounted to I want to be left alone." She said. I turned on her, already having reached the front door.

"Tell him I want to talk in private."

"I kind of think you need to do this on his terms…just my opinion." She said, looking me over in distaste.

"I…ya, fine, tell him that's fine." I said, walking out into the rain.

"Jacob!" A voice yelled. I got on my motorcycle and turned to look at her.

"I heard…everything you and Carlisle said."

"Ok." I said, still annoyed with her.

"Buy some flowers…he wouldn't stop going on about them last time." She said, giving me a weak smile. I nodded.

"I'm going to try and put everything I have into making this right Alice."

"I know you will…I believe in you two." She closed the door and I drove away. I went into Forks first and bought the same flowers I had bought him before. I thanked the woman and got back on my motorcycle and was about to leave when I suddenly caught his scent. It was faint, but it was certainly him. I drove through town a bit, the scent getting stronger and stronger before I finally put 2 and 2 together and recognized where I was and I knew where he was. I parked behind Bella's battered old truck and quickly ran up to the front door. I wasn't completely soaked surprisingly and the flowers in my hand seemed to have fared fine. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Charlie.

"Hey Charlie…"

"Oh! Um, Jacob, what are you…"

"I know he's here Charlie, no need to waste time." I said, giving him a small sympathetic smile, I could tell he didn't completely know what was going on and that he had sort of been roped into it against his will.

"Ya…good point, come in." He said, letting me through.

"Nice job distracting him dad!" Bella huffed at the bottom of the stairs.

"Bella…I just want to talk to him."

"Well he really doesn't want to talk to you." She growled.

"He…isn't well right now." She said, eyes getting hazy for just a second.

"I'm going to see him." I said, walking past both of them.

"Jake!" Bella growled, stepping in front of me.

"How am I supposed to make this right if everyone is getting in my god damn way!? I just…I just want to give him these." I said, staring at the flowers.

"I…I know Jake, but he seriously isn't up for it right now, please, just…he needs time to himself."

"No, it's ok Bella." A voice suddenly said at the top of the stairs. I looked up…and my breathing hitched and I knew my mouth had to be hanging open. Seth was standing at the top of the stairs…except he was wearing a wig, a girl's wig, long black hair. He had a dress on that ended at his knees and a short jacket to go with it, no shoes. His nails were painted red and his toes as well, he also had some eyeliner on but no other makeup.

"Dad lets…let them talk." Bella said quickly, moving out of my way but I didn't see her do anything else, I was too enamored with Seth to care. He walked slowly down the stairs, I couldn't really move, I was in such shock I couldn't get myself to do anything, it took everything I had just to inhale air.

"Stop gawking." He said, standing on one of the last steps.

"Hey love." He said, smiling like it was the most natural thing in the world, had I blinked? I don't think I have.

"S-Seth…"

"These for me?" He grabbed the flowers and took a whiff.

"I love these! Thank you Jake!" He kissed me, I kissed back but it took everything I had to do it.

"Seth…"

"What is it Jake?" I just stared at him, his cheerful demeanor and acting like this is all normal couldn't fool me.

His eyes were filled with so much pain.

"S-Seth…you're…wearing a dress." I said, finally. He just laughed.

"Of course I am, don't you like it? Bella let me borrow it…"

"And a…wig." I said, he laughed.

"It's just temporary, until my real hair grows out, more proper for a girl haha!" He kissed me again but this time I didn't kiss back.

"W-why…"

"Why what?"

"Why are…you…doing this?" Pain streaked across his eyes but he kept that smile.

"You love girls; I'm a girl for you…don't…don't you…like it?" He was clinging desperately to my shirt, his grip tightened.

"You…wanted a girl so…I…I'm a girl"

"S-Seth, no this isn't…" Panic flashed across his eyes.

"Y-you don't like it?! Oh! Oh I know! It's because I still have…boy parts, that's ok! I can…get like…surgery! Ya! I can get girl parts! It'll be fine, it'll be perfect, I can be everything you…" I grabbed him and tossed him over my shoulder and started up the stairs.

"J-Jake! Put me down!" he said, startled. I went into Bella's room and closed and locked the door. I sat him down and forced him in front of a body mirror.

"Look Seth! Look at yourself! Don't you see how…how fucked up this is!? You aren't a girl Seth, ok?! You are a boy!"

"No!" he snapped back at me. He turned and hugged me.

"No! Don't say that I…I…I can be a girl! I can be what you want! Please! I, I need you I…I need you! Please don't leave me!" He suddenly started to sob, clinging desperately to my shirt.

"Please don't…don't leave me! I can be a girl! I can be whatever you want just don't leave me please I can't live without you!" I felt tears of anguish fill my eyes as I watched him breaking at the seams in front of me, but he suddenly stopped, stunned as tears fell down my face.

It hit me, it finally hit me

Here he was, my Seth, giving me a preview of what I could have. He could get surgery, become a woman, I could have what I had dreamed about, maybe not kids but a wife, my Seth would be what I couldn't seem to forget about.

But now that I see it, I absolutely despise everything about it

I don't want Seth to have breasts, I don't want Seth to have a cunt, I don't want Seth to suddenly have long hair. I want my Seth, the Seth I grew to love as a child as my friend, my best friend, my partner, the most important part of my life. I want the Seth who goes out of his way to look cute just for me, who would go grab the moon out of the sky if it meant I was happy, the Seth who cares and loves me so much and all I want to do is give everything he gives to me right back.

I know what I want now

"I want you Seth." I said, tears streaking down my face, he looked so stunned to see me crying he didn't say a word, just stared at me.

"I just…I just want you Seth. I want you, just the way you are…" I pulled the wig off of him, staring into his beautiful eyes.

"I want you to be you Seth…nothing else will do." I fell onto my knees and stared down at his feet.

"I'm such a fucking pig Seth, I know I don't want a woman Seth…it's you, it's always been you, I've known it since the day we met It would be you. I knew you and I were going to be together forever and I know who it is I was destined to be with. Not some fucking woman, you, you and only you. I don't want you to change Seth…I know who I fell in love with, and it's not you wearing a wig and trying to be something you're not just to please me…I don't want you to change Seth, I only…I only…" Tears fell down my face as I sobbed.

"I only want you to be you." He fell onto his knees as well.

"I swear to the fucking heavens." I started, suddenly looking up into his stunned eyes.

"I swear to fucking god if I have to." My eyes blazed with intensity.

"I will fucking spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the hell I have put you through. I don't care how long it takes; I will make it up to you. Because you are the most important thing in my pathetic fucking life and if it takes a 1000 fucking years to make it up to you, I will fucking do it. Because I'm looking at you now Seth, I see you." I placed a hand on his chest and put both of his hands on top of it, tears falling down his face.

"I see you Seth…I fucking see you." I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and forced our foreheads together.

"I see you Seth, I fucking see you." I repeated, my words barely a whisper between my tears.

"And you are so fucking beautiful." My voice cracked but I didn't care, I didn't fucking care.


"We're here." I said, ignoring the sprinkling rain. He didn't say a word as he got off my motorcycle. He simply grabbed my hand and I didn't protest as he led me up the steps to my house. After we both stopped crying he didn't say a word, he simply changed back into his normal guy clothes and said.

"Take me to your house." I didn't question him, I simply nodded. He walked down the stairs and sat on the front of my motorcycle. I promised to text Bella later before following him out and soon we were off. He didn't say a word on the drive here. I let him lead me through my house, barely giving me time to close and lock the front door, and soon we were in my room. He closed and locked the door before suddenly turning on me.

"Did you mean it?" he asked, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

"Did you mean…everything you said?" I stared at him.

"Yes. I meant every word." He stared at me, his eyes no longer held any pain, or sadness….but some emotion I honestly don't think there is a word for.

"Ok." He said, suddenly moving forward and placing his lips on mine. My body responded immediately, I picked him up and let him wrap his legs around my waist as our mouths became a clash of tongues and lips and heat. I pressed him up against the wall as my hands ran up and down his entire body. I grabbed his shirt and pulled, the fabric ripped easily and I tossed it away. He suddenly grabbed my own shirt and started to pull it apart, but not nearly as easily as I had. I suddenly tossed him on the bed and ripped the shirt off myself. He got right back up and soon our mouths were fighting once again. I felt his hands quickly grabbing my jeans and unbuttoning and unzipping them, letting them fall down to my ankles where they were quickly kicked away. I undid his shorts and pulled his underwear down with them to his knees. He fell back onto the bed and quickly kicked them away, leaving him nude under me. I dove back down and roughly grinded my clothed hard on against his own, making him let out a series of high pitched moans.

"Inside…me…inside…me…" was all he was able to get out between our kisses. I felt him pulling my underwear down partially, leaving my butt exposed but it was still bunched in the front. I broke our contact for just a second so I could stand and remove them then dive back down, our cocks grinding and his eyes glazed over. I spat on my finger and started playing with his heat. He let out a little gasp and I kissed him harder. I let the tip slip in, and then a little farther before slipping in another, he moaned so loudly I was afraid half the world could hear him. I stretched and stretched until I knew I wasn't going to be able to wait anymore…and the way he was squirming neither could he.

I let my fingers escape then spat on my cock, rubbing the spit all over it before pressing the head against his hole. He suddenly grabbed my arm and I found myself staring at him, his hair a mess and his eyes almost crazed, his mouth looking almost puffy. I sat myself up on my knees and forced him up with me, I sat him on top of my cock and slowly started to lower him, he clung to me for dear life and let out a stream of loud high pitched gasps and I slowly lowered him, his heat was incredible. I was breathing so heavily and my cock felt like it was enveloped in the heat of fire. Suddenly he couldn't go down anymore, I was completely inside him. Neither of us moved, he was shivering in my arms, his head was just below my chin. He had his arms wrapped around my neck, I breathed in his smell, his hair smelt wonderful.

"Seth." I whispered. He didn't react.

"Seth, look at me." I said, louder this time. He didn't move his arms but suddenly he was looking up at me, fresh tears streaking down his cheeks.

I moved my hips, managing to pull my cock about half way out before suddenly slamming back into him. Making sparks dance across his eyes and the most orgasmic whimper I had ever heard escape his lips. I did it again, then again, until I had a steady rhythm, my precum providing me lube until he loosened a bit and it was smoother yet still tight around my manhood. His eyes were fluttering and he went back to burying his head in my neck but I quickly grabbed his head and forced him to keep staring into my eyes.

"No, I want to watch you." I mumbled, stealing a kiss as I picked up speed.

"G-gonna…" I could feel the coil in my stomach tightening, I knew I didn't have long before I came but from the way he was writhing and jerking his cock, I'd say he was close too.

"Gonna go." He whimpered.

"Me too, gonna cum inside ok baby?"

"Do it, fuck please d-do it, c-c-cum in me please..." I felt it tightening, I was about to lose my virginity and so was he, so close now; I could feel it about to hit me.

"C-cuming!" he cried, his whole body going ridged and his heat tightening around my cock, the sudden pressure hitting me like a truck and soon I felt my cock pouring cum inside as he let out an extremely loud cry and some cum hit my chin and covering our chests and stomachs in cum. I came more than I had ever felt myself cum, it was like a constant jet of cum pouring out of me, my whole body tightening and my cock frozen as his heat took my seed. I came so much I could feel it leaking out and dribbling down and dripping onto my balls. I pressed my forehead against his own and took long, even breaths as I tried to get my heart rate down. I think we sat there for a while, I felt my orgasm finally leave and I felt a wave of tired suddenly hit me.

I pulled him off of my now half hard dick and he immediately fell over onto his back, I quickly joined him.

After minutes and minutes of silence I finally turned to look at him, only to be greeted by him already staring.

"I can't…I can't handle it Jake." He said, staring right into my eyes.

"I can't…handle…being hurt again, I can't, it…it'll kill me." He looked away and stared at the ceiling.

"I want to trust you Jake, I really, really do. But I need to know, I…I know what you said, but I need to hear it again…"

"I see you." I said quietly. He turned and stared at me.

"I see you." I repeated nothing but truth in my words.

"I love you Seth Clearwater…that'll never change. No matter what happens, no matter what I will always love you. I can't…I can't promise that you'll never get hurt Seth; life hurts everyone at some point or another. But I swear to you…I will always love you, even if I hurt you or even if you hurt me that'll never change. I don't…I don't need some fantasy woman to make me happy, you're all I need to be happy, and that you can be damn sure of." Tears struck his cheeks and I smiled at him.

"Marry me." I hadn't realized I had said it before his shocked expression told me.

"W-what?"

"I…I mean it." I said, laughing at myself, I did mean it didn't I?

"Marry me." I repeated. I stood and reached into the drawer where I kept it, moms' wedding ring. Mother gave it to me before she died, told me it was my grandmothers and I needed to give to the person I loved more than anything in the world. She told me it wasn't a ring, but a promise, a promise of forever. I stared at the band of black steel encrusted with real diamonds (how whoever got this ring had the money for real diamonds I would never know) and sat Indian style, staring down at Seth.

"Seth…" I grabbed his hand and gestured for him to sit up; he sat Indian style like I was.

"You and I…we have something beautiful, we have something some people never find in their entire lives. I know you and I are going to be together forever and this promise…" I showed him the ring.

"This promise, I make to you Seth. I promise you forever…I promise you days of happiness, days of smiling and sex and love, I want to hold you in public, I want to dance in the rain with you, and I want to hold you forever, I promise you my life, Seth, I promise you everything I am….if you'll have me."

He was quiet, so eerily quiet. His mouth had closed and now he was tight lipped, staring into my eyes, realizing how serious I was. He suddenly smiled, a rare smile, a genuine smile.

"Ok."

I laughed as I put the ring on his finger; it fit perfectly, like it was made for him.

"Ok." I said, smiling.

"Ok."

We arrived at Emily's a little bit late, I had gotten about 30 calls from everyone I knew before finally answering Emily's and telling her we were coming, and to tell everyone to stop calling because everything was fine, better than fine, they were perfection. She asked what I meant but Seth had quickly taken the phone and told her we'd explain later and hung up. He wanted the engagement to be a surprise, and he wanted everyone to be there.

Seth and I showered together and made love again before we got out, we wanted a little private celebration before facing everyone. I got dressed back up in what I was in earlier, while he put on tight jeans, and an overly large v neck sweater. He looked so adorable it took everything I had to finally stop kissing him after about 5 minutes of him telling me to stop we were going to be late, though he kept laughing the whole time so he probably really didn't mean it. I smiled as he finished getting dressed by putting back on the ring, it matched him perfectly.

I grabbed his hand as we pulled up to Emily's on my motorcycle, luckily it had stopped raining. We were met immediately by Emily and Leah storming out of the house.

"Seth!" Leah grabbed him and pulled him into what I could only guess was a bone breaking hug.

"You asshole!" Leah suddenly snapped at me, letting Seth go.

"Leah…" I started.

"Leah, don't yell at him!" Seth suddenly said, grabbing my hand again.

"It's ok Leah, really, we've worked things out, and things are perfect, actually..." He let go of my hand and held up his hand, the ring glittered in the moon. Emily and Leah both stared in stunned silence.

"I-is that…"

"It's exactly what it looks like." I said with a smile.

"I asked Seth to marry me, he said yes, haven't really planned out like a wedding date or anything…"

"OH MY GOD!" Emily and Leah both squealed at the same time, both hugging Seth.

"YOU'RE…I CAN'T EVEN!" Emily yelled.

"Come on you two! We have to tell everyone!" Leah said, pulling Seth inside while Emily pulled me.

"HEY EVERYONE!" Leah yelled as we got into the backyard, about 50 faces all turned to stare at us.

"GUESS WHO GOT ENGAGED!?" Emily yelled, looking so damn happy. Leah held up Seth's arm and suddenly there was clapping, cheering, whistling, and a variety of other excited, happy noises. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, people talking to us about the engagement, the good parts of the race, and not a soul mentioned the other break down moment or what went down exactly. Seth asked me not to mention him dressing up like a woman, he was embarrassed by it and wanted the secret to stay between him, Bella, the Cullen's (they were bound to find out eventually what with Edwards mind reading and the fact that Bella probably already told them), and I. Even though we were being pulled left and right all over, we never left each other's side, very rarely let go of each other's hand. Seth was happy, I was happy, and I had never felt more in love.

We finally decided to escape the party for a bit and sat in front of one of the fires that were going, him sitting in-between my legs while I sat on a log.

"Having fun?" I asked curiously. He just laughed.

"Ya, lots of fun…though a bit tiring answering so many questions."

"Want to get out of here?" I asked curiously. He smiled.

"I'd say yes but we shouldn't go too far away, it feels longer, what with all the questions, but it's only been like, 2-3 hours tops?"

"Well the beach is nearby, and the sky is actually clear for once. We could go lie out on the beach and look at the moon." I suggested, he smiled.

"That sounds fantastic." I stood and helped him up and soon we were walking hand in hand down to the beach, about a minute away. I found a nice little spot for us and fell onto my back, not much minding the sand because a warm, sweet smelling body was soon lying next to me, using my left arm as a head rest while my other arm was under the back of my own head.

"I love it when the rain clears at the end of the day…I love to see the stars." He mumbled, I couldn't see his face but I could perfectly imagine that tired, dreamy smile of his.

"Agreed, indeed." I said, smiling at my tiny use of Shakespearian English.

"I could lay here forever." He finished. We were quiet for god knows how long before I decided to break the silence.

"I want to be with you forever." I said.

"I want you to be with me, in my bed, every night…"

"Now you're just getting dirty." He chuckled. I smiled and continued.

"I want to hug and kiss you every day; I want to tell you I love you every day…"

"Now you're just getting cheesy." He said again. I laughed and suddenly he was sitting himself up on my chest.

"Jake? You don't need to tell me all of this…I already know." He leaned down and planted a long, lingering kiss to my lips which I returned as easily as taking a breath of air.

"And the feeling? It's very, very, very mutual." I grinned and soon we were planting kisses over and over on each other's lips before a buzzing interrupted us.

"Ah dammit it's my phone." He groaned in fake anger. He smiled at me as he picked up the phone and let out a polite "Hello?" He was quiet for a minute then laughed.

"It's fine Leah, we just went down to the beach, needed some quiet time…what? Mom and Billy are here? Ah no one's said anything yet…ok we'll be there in a minute." He hung up and groaned.

"Ain't no rest for the wicked?" I chuckled, he laughed.

"I suppose not…so, ready to go tell our respective parents the good news?" He stood up, the moon shone off his skin and he looked so, so beautiful. I smiled and stood, pulled him into a hug, and kissed him.

"When it comes to you? I'll always be ready." He laughed.

"You're getting cheesy again."

"Don't care, still mean it." I said with a returned laugh, kissing him again. I smiled.

"I love you." He grinned.

"Ok." I grinned right back.

"Ok."

Realize this took about a year too release but oh well, haven't had time, life hectic, yadayadayada, to the whole 5 people who read this I hope you enjoyed it, love you to death if you review.