A-N this chapter doesn't involve much Jisbon but it is setting it up for late on :) enjoy and please review if you think it was good enough xxxx
I had to go to my first anger management class in an hour and I was already fretting. They generally try to analyse your past, which is not a good thing in my case. From that they make you emotionally insecure and then end the session making you want to return to get some closure on your childhood issues. Only then do you move on to the problem at hand, after they have made you draw up loads of irrelevant memories, that will leave you feeling emotionally drained. Well I wasn't going to be the mug that keeps coming back, I am going to be sweet and pleasant and the shrink will wonder why I was even here.
The building that loomed ahead was large with red brick walls and a large glass front. I entered and immediately noticed how sterile everything was. There were random art pieces littered around the room, and there were white sofas organised in a feng shui style. I walked up to the desk trying to look confident.
"Teresa Lisbon to see Dr Emanuel please" I could hear my voice falter but the receptionist didn't. She nodded and lead round the maze of corridors spiralling away from the central room. She stopped suddenly and pushed me through the door on my right. I was in another super clean and white room with two couches facing each other. On the first there sat my 'doctor', how can you be a doctor of anger management? .
"Hello Teresa", he smiled. I couldn't stand doctors, Jane and I shared a passionate hate for them. Wherever there was a doctor bad news was around the corner.
"Hi" I said blandly. Then realised I barked at him. My head was still in controlling Jane mode.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be brusque, my head is still at work" I apologised.
"Its ok, I generally find CBI agents don't enjoy these sessions, and I guess that you won't be the exception, take a seat". He didn't say this in a cruel fashion, if anything he was being nice, I already couldn't stand the guy.
"so let's start with your past, how was your childhood?" I forgot and rolled my eyes very obviously.
"well seeing as you have my file on your desk I don't think you need to ask me that. I'm assuming you have done your homework and read it".
"ok, your assumptions would be correct, so what would you like to talk about? How about today's incident? Was your assault provoked?". I felt like puking into the bowl on the table, he could at least have the normal human response and argue with me.
"yes, it was. The man was downright rude to me, he was also sexist and... and demoralising". I spat out. I was lying through my teeth and I don't think it was working very well. What was it that Jane used to say? Good cop, bad liar.
"so"he replied "he was rude to you does that deserve an assault?
"no" I mumble.
"so you understand that your actions were wrong?"
"yes" I nod in defeat.
"well that's good, admitting is the first step to controlling your problem". I laughed making him look puzzled.
"look, sir I don't have a problem, it was him that had a problem. If he wasn't such a sexist pig we wouldn't be here. I get sick of them! Every day I get landed with comments that because I am a woman I can't lead effectively. So really it's not me that's messed up its everyone else". Oh crap I just made myself sound like a complete lunatic.
He looked slightly taken aback. Then began to ask me generic questions which I answered dutifully. The rest of the session passed quickly. But as he asked an ever increasing amount if questions all I could think about was Jane. He was gorgeous, even I would admit that and every woman is attracted to a man with a back story right? That was normal, or maybe I had been watching too many soaps. I could see him in his 3 piece suit oh how he loved that thing and the funny little, completely impractical car. Anyway most of the time I was his chauffeur.
"one more thing Teresa, are you in a relationship?" he asked. He was beginning to frustrate me. He was as cool as a cucumber with every question, normally people were intimidated by her, but him, no.
"No, I'm not" I said slightly quieter than I would have hoped.
"would you like to be in one?"
"Yes, I guess, it would just be unfair on my partner as my hours are very unpredictable and always very long. But I don't get why that is relevant to my 'anger problem'". My cheeks became redder as I spoke, why was I embarrassed? I wasn't lying...
"Teresa, I want you to understand that sometimes you need to think about your personal life over your job. Your letting emotions run between the two. I can see that you are in love and you can't let that cloud our moral judgement. Thankyou for attending". And with that he left.
