"Will Optimus be OK?" It had been almost a full human day since young Rafael had asked that question, his eyes glistening with tears and voice shaking in a way that almost caused Ratchet to break down with him. Almost a full day, and he still didn't know the answer.
It had only been a few weeks, they had barely gotten into the base let alone settled and already things were going downhill. The hunt for Predecon bones was almost continuous, causing the Bots at the base to even more overworked than usual. Finally, 3 full days with no Decepticon activity and Nurse Darby had shown up with a surprise. Using the universal tone of a Carrier, she had ordered all Bots and humans to take a break together, all of them go somewhere for the day and do nothing but relax even if Unicron showed up. They had begrudgingly agreed.
The humans had been having fun with their charges, swimming and splashing in the secluded lake they had found. Ratchet, Agent Fowler, and Nurse Darby had gotten into a lively conversation and we're having a great time as well. Even Ultra Magnus and Optimus were over a little ways away, speaking in Cybertronian and sharing memories and small jokes known only to them.
Just as June had risen to call the children in to make sure Raf didn't completely tire himself out, Magnus called out Ratchet's name with an urgency he had not heard in a long time. Turning, his spark constricted painfully at the sight of his lover laying there on the ground with Magnus hastily checking his vitals. He moved quicker than he can remember ever have done and arrived at the Prime's side in mere nanokliks. Doing a systems scan and finding nothing of grave severity, he quickly calmed the stricken Commander and ordered him and Bulkhead to carry Optimus through the ground bridge to the base.
Once he had been settled onto the only medical berth that would hold his new frame, in the most public part of the entire base we might add, Rafael had asked that awful question. For hours straight he had done check after check and found nothing. He had a list of small system anomalies, but they didn't add up to anything he was aware of. He had gone through what little family history he possessed for the Prime, and even less came up. He was starting to run out of options and ideas.
What if he couldn't find what it was? They couldn't handle losing the Prime. They would be better off now the Ultra Magnus had arrived, as a team they would be better off. What would they do? What would he do?
"Ratchet!" As his gloomy dent momentarily popped back into its rightful place, he couldn't help but wonder at the Nurse's impeccable ability for timing.
"June, thank you for coming." He noticed out of his peripheral that she paused on the ladder she had been climbing. Just in the wording used he had shown how desperate he was, and Ratchet knew that was scarier than any threat or wrench he was equipped with.
"What have you got so far?" She asked, going into her 'Nurse mode' as Jack called it. He ex vented.
"A list of symptoms." He answered as he changed some of the levels for the nutrients being out into Optimus' frame. "And a processor ache the size of Bulkhead's aft." The Nurse let out a small chuckle.
"What exactly caused him to collapse?" She asked as she looked at the same levels he had just changed on a human sized monitor. Over the time they had known each other she had gained enough knowledge to pass the basic term exam of the first vorn of med school back on Cybertron. Most had to redo it 2 or 3 times over because they claimed it was too difficult, she had nearly beat his score the first time.
"Nutrient depletion."
"Hence the minor adjustments in how much is being administered." He made a soft engine hum of agreement.
"His systems are also using larger amounts energon and coolant. His processor signals are also misfiring slightly, not enough for serious damage just enough for discomfort." There was a brief pause before June snapped her head around to look at the mech.
"That's it?" She asked incredulously.
"I know. My thoughts exactly. If there was one more symptom I would be able to diagnose the problem."
"But there isn't another symptom."
"No. And I've tried every scan under Cybertron's twin suns and nothing. You will find a list of them in the usual folder." June quickly opened said file and scanned over the information.
"Ratchet, aren't these also symptoms for a carrying mech?" Ratchet's entire frame stiffened so quickly June could hear the plates click. She turned to look at the mech once more.
"Ratchet?"
"That is not a necessary scan." He answered in a, well, robotic tone.
"Ratchet, I've heard Arcee complaining about the two of you if it's a possible cause-"
"It is not possible, Ms. Darby." The edge in the mech's tone was not one June had heard before. It spoke of a deep pain, one so old she knew she could not possibly comprehend it. She waited silently, giving the other medic as much support with her small presence as she could.
"Optimus," He stopped and turned his helm away, feeling the hot tension of coolant filling his optics. "Optimus is not capable of having, creations." As he said this he felt a single tear run down his faceplates. It was not his own sorrow, no, the sorrow for his love that he had seen endured for so long, memories of breems spent comforting the mech as keeled and clung to him.
He had not been aware of her moving but suddenly the Nurse was as close to him as she could get on the platform around the med bay. She sat down on the ground, cross legged and just waited quietly. Knowing that her friend would talk if he needed to, which he obviously did, and Ratchet was very thankful for that. He grabbed the stool Bumblebee had put together for him while they were still on the Harvenger and brought it in front of June, sitting down. He clasped his servos together and simply stared at them for a long moment.
"Optimus, he has always been special, always unique. When he was born, as Orion, his coding had shifted to allow him to have a greater processing power than most mechs. Something had to give, and that was the coding that allowed him to have creations. When he became a Prime, that coding was fixed." He paused, smiling sadly at the memories.
"He was bonded to a mech named Jetfire, I have never seen him so excited except in that moment I told them he was carrying." He heard June take in a sharp breath and he looked up to see she too had tears in her eyes.
"When Jetfire off lined, it tore Optimus to shreds. When he lost the new spark, he became a lifeless shell. The trauma caused his processor to force shut down the codes that Primus had so graciously fixed. That is the reason he does not show emotion, does not laugh and barely smiles. For vorns he refused to bond with me, not because of this Pit spawned war, but on the grounds that he can not give me the family I have always wanted." June placed her hands shakily over her mouth as she took in all that he said. Her look of mixed shock, sorrow, and sympathy quickly changed to confusion.
"If Primus was willing to help him before, would the Forge not have done the same?" Ratchet shook his helm sadly.
"We had thought of that as well. He was so hopeful when we were finally alone and he asked me to check his coding." He paused and took in a shaky invent to try to hold back the coolant. "It is the same as before." He saw the small human nod her helm slowly.
"I, will never know the full extent of your pain, but I do, at the very least, understand where it comes from." She stopped, dipping her head slightly with a soft smile.
"I was told by everyone that I couldn't have children. That I was barren. I found out just after my husband had gone to serve over in Iraq that I was pregnant. I told him on the phone at the base he was in. That was the last time I spoke to him." Ratchet felt a few more drops of coolant leave his optics. So many of their kind had shunned Optimus when they found out he could not have creations, claiming a barren Prime was as useless as one without the Matrix. Yet, here was a human Nurse willing to not only to see past that point but to openly compare herself as lower in relation to it the pain it caused. His respect and devotion to this small human and her son grew in his spark a thousand fold.
"I do have one request." Ratchet looked up at her with a, contemplative look, not quite confused. "Do you have recorded in official medical documents the fact Optimus cannot conceive?"
"No. In the event the Decepticons somehow obtained the documents, they could use this against him."
"Then, considering we have no way of knowing if you will always be the doctor attending him, shouldn't I perform this test as well?" Ratchet went to open his mouth and angrily protest, until he processed the wording she had used. He smiled gratefully and nodded, wiping away his tears before speaking.
"That would indeed be the practical decision, Nurse Darby. It would also be an excellent step forward in your training." June smiled, getting up and going back over to her monitor, seeing the statement for what it truly was. Ratchet himself stayed sitting for a brief moment, then started to hook different pieces of equipment to his monitor and the Prime's frame.
As he fit the last connector onto the inside of Optimus' servo, he paused, reaching out to caress the Prime's faceplates. He then leaned forward and placed a soft, human kiss against his helm and whispered comforting nonsense against his audio receptor. He then returned to Optimus' side, rubbing an armour plate with his digit.
"Please proceed, Nurse Darby." June nodded, though she knew the medic would not see, he was so captivated by his recharging mate. She started the scans with only a few choice clicks on the keyboard in front of her, waited a few moments for them to be completed, and froze. She redid the scan. And again. And again. After the fifth time she very slowly turned to look at the other medic.
"Ratchet, please promise you won't completely freak out..."
