Q leant on the kitchen bench as the kettle boiled. His hands were already cupped around the mug, pre-emptively trying to warm them against the chill of the London winter. He was waiting, just like he had been for the past fortnight. He was waiting for his agents to come home.

Alec had been in the depths of an Asian mountain range when the mission had truly dissolved into chaos. Eventually he asked for back-up and James had been on a plane within the hour. That was two weeks ago.

They were back in the UK now, but because both of them had an affinity for not debriefing when they reached home soil, Moneypenny had met them at the arrivals gate in Q's stead, whilst he was directed back to their apartment. He fought briefly, but then decided that he could at least turn the heater on and figure out some kind of food for his Hearts when they finally returned to him.

He had to remind himself that it didn't physically hurt when they were apart, it just felt wrong. It didn't help that he knew if either of them had been injured, he felt that as it happened to them. Although it was also somewhat a comfort, he could see through their double-0-bravado before they even tried to speak. Not that they knew. They just thought the Medical teams were incredibly prepared.

The kettle clicked over and Q poured the water into the mug, and then sighed as he realised he'd forgotten the tea-bag. He was desperately tired and he just wanted his boys asleep next to him, so he could feel the Heart beat within their very much alive chests. He poured the water into the sink just as the door clicked open.

"Q?" Bond's voice called out from the doorway. Q walked quickly to front room, making sure his footsteps were heard, knowing how edgy agents were post-mission. The pressure in his chest lessened as soon as he saw them and he gave them both his biggest smile, before walking forwards and wrapping an arm around each of them, feeling the pressure lift completely.

"Welcome home."

James embraced him warmly, but Alec barely touched him before sliding out his grip.

"Shower," he muttered before stalking into the corridor. Q made to go after him, but Bond caught his arm and gently pulled him back round.

"He just needs some space."

Q looked at James, trying to read the ice-blue eyes.

"What happened?"

"You know what happened."

"The asset?"

Bond nodded, crushing Q softly to his chest.

"I missed you. It was like Hell in there. Thank you for getting us out."

Q kissed him underneath his jaw.

"Always."

Bond returned Q's kiss before taking his hand and leading him to the couch in the lounge room, falling onto it, and positioning themselves so Q was lying on top of him. Q lay with his ear on his half his Heart, feeling more whole than he had since Alec left. They didn't say anything, merely enjoying each other's company, but when the shower water turned off, Bond shifted and they both stood up.

"I'll go check on him," James said, looking worriedly at the bedroom door.

"I'll come with you," Q offered, but James shook his head.

"Let me alright?"

Q bit his lip for a moment before murmuring something about dinner and making his way back to the kitchen, throwing some pasta on to boil. He could hear James and Alec's voices through the wall, but couldn't make out the words. It felt wrong, being separated like this. He wanted to go, to comfort and to hold. It was what he was made for. It was his duty to them both. But, like all aspects of their relationship, things moved slowly, each party too cautious for their own good, not wanting to put a step wrong. Q sighed to himself as he put the sauce he'd made the previous day into a pan. For secrets agents, both of them were rubbish at communication.

As soon as dinner was ready, they came out of the bedroom. Alec looked even more distant than before, putting the food into his mouth, chewing, and swallowing like he was a machine. Q knew his mind was far away from him and he felt a moment of panic at his uselessness. After dinner, James stacked the plates in the dishwasher and turned it on before shepherding them back to the couch. Q let himself be organised so the other two were comfortable around him, enjoying the dual Heartbeats, but still feeling anxious. He had to do something, he wasn't going to let Alec slip through his fingers like…

Q took a breath, and ignored Bond's warning hand on his back.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Alec's blank mask cracked and broke as he jumped from the couch. Bond's arms wrapped around Q's torso to keep him from falling before standing up himself as Alec spun round to face them.

"Because then it'll go away?! Get fucked Q, it doesn't work like that! I don't give a shit how you run personnel in Q-branch, but we don't 'talk it out' here! You just stay fucking quiet for however long it takes to drink it out or whatever, do you understand?!"

Q was on his feet, too and James stepped closer, ready to intervene.

"How do you know if you haven't tried, Alec?" Q asked softly, making sure his voice was low and unthreatening. "Even if it's the wrong thing to do, I'm just trying to help y-"

"Fuck off, Q. I'm not a fucking gun you can fix with your clever hands, agents have minds! As much as you people back here try and forget it when you're sending us off to the end of the world! You want to know how it is? You could hear the asset's screaming, but you couldn't see how she hung on to me when she knew she'd die. You didn't see the enemy through the trees, already finished their job of killing their target, and now trying to kill you just for fun! You don't have a fucking clue what it's actually like to deal with something until it's fucking done and there's nothing you can do but wipe the blood of your skin, so don't give me your caring bullshit. You will never understand, so don't try."

Alec shouldered past both of them and thudded down the corridor. Q flinched as the bedroom door slammed. James squeezed his shoulder before slipping down the corridor, leaving Q by himself. Q collapsed back onto the couch, trying to even his breathing, thankful he didn't have a heart that could race. He was at a complete loss. He was trying to help. He was trying to do something before Alec went and did something they'd all regret. There was a twinge in his chest as he thought of Alec pushing him away, but Q told himself that it wasn't permanent. He definitely would have felt that one. He sat with his head in his hands until the dishwasher stopped humming and the apartment fell silent.

Almost unconsciously he stood up and walked to the far end of the room, sitting on the padded stool in front of his piano. He hadn't played for so long, not since his last lifetime, but it was one of the skills that never faded, even through death. Without thinking he let his fingers brush over the cold keys before he pressed them down, letting the music envelope him, pulling him away from Alec's words and the memory of his worst lifetime that had triggered his panic. He felt himself relax as he drifted through the song, eternally grateful for his once-Heart who had taught him piano and encouraged him to take it further. A tear slid across his cheek and fell onto the keys, but he didn't stop playing until the last notes faded into the air. He sat up straighter and brushed the heel of his hand over his cheek, catching the excess moisture, when he felt something behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw James and Alec standing in the doorway. They never looked surprised, but James's eyebrow was a fraction higher, and Alec's eyes were slightly widened and Q knew that he'd stunned them.

He stood up slowly and faced them, waiting.

"You haven't played for us before," Alec said.

"I haven't played in this lifetime. I miss it, though."

He motioned towards the couch.

"Would you mind sitting down for a minute? Both of you?"

He waited till they were comfortable before taking the couch opposite them.

"I have to tell you something," he started but Alec cut him off.

"Can I apologise first?"

Q frowned.

"For what?"

"I'm a moron sometimes. It's a good thing we have James to point it out, because I know you never will. I'm sorry I shouted at you, it was wrong. I know you've never been in the field, but you're as close as it gets to it while still being back here, working hard to give us the best chance of coming home."

Q shook his head.

"Alec, it's OK."

"No, it's not. But I'll make it up to you, and I won't do it again. I promise. James said I have to cook dinner for a month if I did."

"So it's in everyone's best interests if that doesn't happen," Bond said, smirking, and then dodging a kidney jab.

"Hey, I can cook!"

"The Lasagne Incident?"

"One time…"

They trailed off, and faced Q again, who was looking at them both fondly. He desperately just wanted to curl up with both of them and sleep off the past month, but he needed to say something first. He started with preamble.

"In fifty-two years an American drug will be perfected that can execute someone in less than a second. It isn't a poison, but contains chemicals that trigger an electrical charge that is sent to the heart. Unfortunately it took a lot of testing to get it right as the chemicals used are highly unstable and the first few versions ended… badly." The agents watched as Q's face paled, but they knew better than to interrupt. Q didn't often speak of his other lifetimes, so when he did, they listened intently. "One of my Hearts, a long time ago now, was a scientist. His name was Harry and he was one of the few that worked on the drug. He was always involved in his work, so I didn't question when he came home late, or not at all. He started getting distant, and he wouldn't answer me when I asked how he was. Something was wrong, but I didn't know what. Sometimes I felt a pressure in my Heart, but he never said anything. Then… It was a Thursday afternoon and I was coming home from work when I felt something tear inside of me and it felt like… Like how it feels when my Heart's dying. I called Harry but he didn't pick up, so I went to his lab." Q left out how he staggered across the city, doubled over in pain as his Heart tried to tear his empty chest apart. He didn't tell them how he reached Harry's voicemail again and again. He didn't tell them how terrified he was, forgetting momentarily that the agents could read it on his face. "It was late when I got there and the lights were off, except for the one in the testing area. Harry was on the floor, thrashing and hitting tables and chairs and there was red everywhere. He'd taken the drug, but it wasn't fully developed. His lungs had ripped and he was drowning in his own blood."

Q realised that he was staring at the floor space between couches. He forced himself to look at his Hearts. They were looking back at him, not with pity as he'd expected, but… with love and such a fierce sense of protection Q could feel it across the room. He realised his cheeks were wet again.

"I haven't told you. If my Heart gets hurt, I feel it. It's dulled, and I have a high pain tolerance anyway, which I'm thankful for, and it's why I never ask if you've been injured or not. I already know. But when my Heart dies I can feel everything, because it happens to me, too." Q took a shaky breath. "Harry and I died together. He was so sad. And he wouldn't talk to me. I'm not saying that I could've helped, because I know there are situations where I can't. But I could've tried."

Even though it was directed at both of them, Q looked Alec in the eye.

"I know I'm not in the field, but I know what it's like to have someone die under your protection. And I love you too much to lose you."

James and Alec moved in synch, rising from their seats and gathering Q between them.

"I'm so sorry, Q," James whispered.

"We love you, too," Alec said.

Q smiled up at both of them, wiping away the last of his tears.

"There are bound to be some bad lifetimes. But even in those ones, there are always good memories. Harry and I went to the opening of Disney Universe in Idaho."

"Disney Universe?"

"It's massive. Or it will be, anyway."

Q frowned slightly, dates were so confusing. His lifetimes weren't chronological and getting the culture right was hard enough without remembering what came before or after when.

"Q?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know how many lifetimes you've had? Or how many years you've lived?"

Q shrugged half-heartedly.

"Well over one hundred lifetimes by now. Probably over… seven thousand years? It's pretty hard to keep track."

Alec shook his head in disbelief.

"And you remember all of them?"

Q knew he wasn't talking about the lives.

"I remember my past Hearts, yes. But I don't love them anymore. Their Heart has already died. I have memories, but this Heart is completely for you two, no one else."

Alec pressed a kiss to his hair gratefully, worries soothed, but James was frowning.

"Have you ever had a life with two Hearts? Like between us?"

Q shook his head.

"I've heard of it, but it's less a rumour, more a myth. I couldn't believe it to begin with."

"So you don't know what's going to happen when one of us dies?"

There was a moment's quiet.

"Well, this evening is filled with cheerful topics," Q said, trying to lighten to mood, but Bond was having none of it.

"Q…"

Q sighed.

"I'm not entirely sure. He both have exactly half my Heart inside of you, but I don't have any control over what would happen." He paused, hesitating. "There is… I can find out."

"How?" Alec asked, sensing his reluctance.

"I can ask the Masters."

Q felt the question hanging in the air.

"The Masters... Well, they didn't make us. But they direct us. Onto our next lives. They make sure nothing goes wrong with us. Sometimes, when a Heart isn't appreciated, they'll terminate the life in order for the Angel to move onto the next life, which we're always thankful for."

Alec looked at James over Q's head. James looked as sickened as Alec felt, but they both let Q talk.

"The only times I've seen them during a lifetime is when I've really messed something up, been too risky with what era I'm in or something to that extent. They're almost like the Enforcers of the Angels."

James tried to push the image of a giant policeman out of his mind.

"You can talk to them?"

"I can request an audience. As this isn't an emergency, they mightn't accept."

"Would you be OK to ask? It wouldn't make you uncomfortable?"

Q remembered the feeling of weightlessness that surrounded the Master's home. The soft colours, none found on Earth and being surrounded by other Angels currently in between lives, moving through the Crossing. It was Paradise.

"No, I wouldn't be uncomfortable."

"How do you make an appointment?"

Q laughed and closed his eyes briefly, when he opened them, both Alec and James were staring at him. He grinned.

"Done."

"Just like that?"

"Yes; you'd be surprised how humans are limited in their telepathic communication. It's remarkably useful."

Alec stood up, holding one of Q and James's hands in each of his own, pulling them up with him.

"I take it we have enough time to snuggle before they get back to you?"

They were already walking towards their massive bed. Q had changed the sheets only this morning, wanting to make it clean and comfy for them when they arrived back home.

"Well, it could take any amount of time actually, from now to… whenever. So let's just be normal and take it as it comes."

However, to Q's surprise, he felt the tingling in his mind even as they reached the bedroom door. He stopped and put a hand against the doorframe to steady himself.

"Q, are you OK?"

Q exhaled as the tingling turned into buzzing, insisting on his presence.

"Turns out they have an answer already. I need to go, they're ready for me now."

The buzzing turned demanding and he groaned at the pressure, pushing a hand to his forehead.

"Q!"

Right. Focus.

"This is going to be a bit shocking, but don't worry. I'll be back really soon, OK? Time's different there, so I should be back within the hour. Just keep some space on the bed for me?"

"Wait," James said, holding his shoulder. "I don't understand. Where- How are you going?"

Q just stepped back from both of them as a soft glow lit up his face. He winked.

"See you soon."

He disappeared.

Alec and James looked at each other, than back at the spot their Angel had just been.

"Bed?"

"Bed."

Q blinked at the darkness, waiting for the Masters to notice him. Even though his presence was demanded, they couldn't be rushed in their own world. Everything around him was the deepest shade of every colour, it always was in the Master's chambers, and he could hear the slight murmur of the other Angel's thoughts in the distance at the Crossing. Finally, he felt someone look at him and a Master's voice sounded in his head.

"Angel. You requested an audience with the Masters."

"I did."

Q spoke clearly and more confidently than he usually did. He knew this time he wasn't here because he was in trouble.

"What do you need?"

"Masters, I have a good Heart and my happiest lifetime I've ever had. But I am concerned."

"What is the cause for your concern?"

"My Heart is split between two."

"We know."

Q didn't expect less.

"I wanted to ask what will happen when one of them dies?"

The Masters didn't even pause, and their voices displayed no emotion.

"You will also die."

Q felt horror was over him.

"… No."

"You cannot survive on half a Heart, no matter how strong it's held."

"No!"

"A triple connection is rare, Angel, as you well know. It is fragile. We have watched your Heart and we know your Receivers. We have no doubt of their devotion. But you will not survive."

Q tried to think of a world with only James, or only Alec, without him. The bed would be empty. Losing one of them would be devastating enough, but two at once? Q shuddered at the thought, and longed for their comfort, their presence. This couldn't be happening. He hadn't felt a connection like this before, not in any of his lifetimes. It was so strong, it felt unbreakable, but he knew it would be torn apart if the three of them were separated. He loved them. He was in love with them.

"There must be something you can do."

When they didn't answer, Q raised his voice.

"Please! Anything, I'll do it!"

"You have lived many lives and yet you are still so young, to ask for such a thing."

"I know what I need, what I want. And it's them."

"You do not even know the consequences."

Q sunk into the Quartermaster persona he'd perfected, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin defiantly.

"I love them."

"It's permanent."

"That's what I'm asking for. I won't leave them alone."

A sigh passed over him, even though he knew it was impossible in the atmosphere.

"We see inside your mind, Angel."

Q closed his eyes and thought of his Hearts back home.

"We accept your request."

Q felt the tingling feeling in the back of his mind again, and his body was being pulled away.

"Wait! You didn't say what's going to happen!"

"Farewell, Angel."

It was a whisper, flitting across his mind, before a cloud surrounded his mind and everything went black.

Alec rolled over onto his back again and huffed at the ceiling. James lay an arm across his chest.

"Breathe, Alec."

"It's been four hours, James! He said it would take less than one."

"Maybe he had to wait, once he got there, or something. We don't know how these things work."

Alec sighed again and James pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade.

"Patience."

It happened so smoothly, they almost missed it. One moment it was just the two of them, the next a soft glow filled the room and Q was lying next to them. Both agents jumped slightly before shuffling across the mattress.

"Q, what did they say?"

There was no response. He just lay there, eyes closed.

"Q?"

He was on the other side of the bed in a moment, with Alec pressed up against Q's other side.

"He's breathing," Alec pointed out, trying to sound reassuring.

"So why won't he wake up? Q? Q!"

James brushed his fingers down Q's arm and gasped.

"Alec, he's got a pulse."

"He gave up everything for you, even being an Angel."

James and Alec didn't hear it, as such, the voice just sounded through their heads, impossibly deep and ominous. Both of them recoiled towards their weapons.

"Look after him."

Q's eyelids fluttered open, causing James and Alec to forget the momentary threat and lean in further. Q's eyes finally focused on the two heads above him. He inhaled deeply and slowly raised two fingers to press against his throat.

"Q, are you OK?"

Q blinked and then burst into laughter that seemed to build from the depths of his chest. The joyous sound made both James and Alec smile without thinking.

"I'm perfect." He sat up, and dragged James back onto the bed before tackling his two agents who would now always have his Heart. "I'm human and I'm perfect."