Everywhere is still Everything is restless in my heart I hate the way this feels Suddenly i'm scared to be apart The days are dark when you're not around The air is getting hard to breathe I wish that you would just put me down I wish that I could go to sleep

I cried as I saw the test message from Bonnie's phone, I red it once more to see if this wasn't a dream...But I knew it wasn't.
_

[Enemy's Name]-Hey baby, how are you?

[Bonnie]-Good, How about you?

[Enemy's Name]-Fine i guess. Say how about we go to the movies today, I heard the texas chainsaw is out and I want to see it with my fave bf

[Bonnie]-Sure, i'll pik you up at 9:30. Get ready

[Enemy's Name]-K, bye

[Bonnie]-See ya _

I pinched my arm where a huge, bloody, deep wound was, I felt more blood leek out were I pinched it, it burned but I didn't care because the burn felt amazing under my conditions. My breath was shaky as more hot tears bravley made their way out of my dull [color] eyes, my hands shook as I grbbed my Columbia River M16 knife out of my pocket and ran to the bathroom. My bruised skin on my side hit the wall of a corner and i cried out in pain but kept going.

Loving you is suicide I don't know should go or should I stay I'm tryna to keep myself alive Knowing there's a chance it's all too late But I heard you say you loved me That's the part I can't forget And I wish that you come save me Cus i'm standing over the edge

'Bonnie...I love you, and I still do but...I know I shouldn't' I thought as I stared at the mirror infront of me as my tears didn't stop once I then looked at my wrist. Sliding the knife across my wrist put a painfully smile on my face as I saw the blood slither out of the cut and down my wrist. "Sweet pain is all I feel now." I muttered, my heart wanted me to stop, begging to not kill myself...But my brain wanted me to keep going, begging me to end it as long as i'll be way from Bonnie. But my arms worked on their own, my eyes were [color] but now their a dull, colorless [color], like all the color has been drined out. I didn't are anymore.

Taking the knife I slide it across my closed right eye, I jerked back in pain alittle bit, but kept going. Once I opened my eye I saw a long very deep lined wound across my eye, blood was gushing out like nobody's bissness. That made me smile 'Finally I an just die in peace, and Bonnie...This is your fault' I wrote on a peacie of paper in my own blood. "I hope you feel happy about what you did." I growled under my breath as way more tears slipped out of my dull hurtful [color] orbs, they shined like a dimond as light hit them, but they then splattered into my blood which made them turn to blood as well.

I should let you go Tll myself the things i need to hear but my brain is wired wrong that's why i'm loving you when you're not here feels like i drown in your every word and every breath that's in between somehow you got me where it really hurts it's killing every part of me

Suddenly the light went out in my bathroom and all my pain and happiness flowed away as fear took over me. I know this is stupid but i'm afraid of the dark, I always have maybe that's why Bonnie left...No I can't be thinking about that right now, i've got to think about calming myself down. Taking a towel I begain to clean the bloody floor incase if someone or something breaks the door down and see's me in a pool of blood with cuts on my writs. "[Y/N]! I'm back!" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I panicked. "[Y/n] Where are you!?" Again...That voice made me scowl at the floor, oh that sickening voice, i hated it so much...But oh how i loved it so much "[Y/N]! Where are you?! Are you here!?" That voice asked/yelled louder. "No, i'm not here..At least not anymore." I muttered darkly.

Loving you is suicide I don't know should go or should I stay I'm tryna to keep myself alive Knowing there's a chance it's all too late But I heard you say you loved me That's the part I can't forget And I wish that you come save me Boy cus I'm standing over the edge

Light creaking sounds of wood could be heard coming closer every time a drop of blood dripped on the soft rug beneath me, getting it stained with blood. I suddenly broke down into tears as a scream pierced out of my throat, I looked down and saw that I was holding my knife in my hands tightly. Crimson could be seen pouring fast out of my deep wound in my hands, another scream snapped out of my throat as my grip on the knife tightened harder, my hands were shaking badly. My eyes went wide as I heard someone trying to break down the bathroom door, getting up I ran to an air vent in my bathroom and put my knife in there so no one steals it.

"[Y/N]!" A voice that belonged to Bonnie yelled. The bathroom door then smashed open as I fell in my bathtub I was behind, hitting my head. 'Owww...' I though as I shut my eyes tightly and tears fell out fast from all the pain from me came hitting me like a bunch of bricks. "Y/N]! OMG ARE YOU OK!?" Bonnie asked loudly as he came to help me out.

"Get away from me...Now." I muttered as I felt cold stuff run down my head. I touched there and saw that it was...Blood. I cracked my head open...Then blackness.

Loving you is suicide And my world's about to break And I... had as much as I can take And love is a long way down

"Where am I?" I asked as I held my head for a bit, I then looked up to see my mother. "M-Mom? What's happening!?" I panicked looking around to only see a water founten and whiteness. "[Y/n] this will be hard for you to hear but...Your dead." My eyes widen and I cried while pulling on my hair, I ran to the water founten and looked through it to only see Bonnie crying by my dead body.

"[Y/n]..I wasn't cheating on you if that's why you cut yourself, I was just getting evendince from your enemy because she used to have a lot of boyfriends and I thought she had a lot of experience...But I was wrong and stupid...NO!" The purple haired male yelled at the end as nurses came in and took him out of the room, but he was fighting it.

"MOM I WANT TO GOT BACK! I WANT TO go back...PLEASE!" My voice went loud to soft but then loud again.

"Are you sure sweetie?" She asked looking at me.

"Yes, i'm sure. I love him to much to let him go..Please." I cried

" *Sigh* Alright [y/n]. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I will, I promise." I said as I looked back as her, happiness in my eyes.

Loving you is suicide And it's getting harder everyday I'm tryna to keep myself alive Knowing there's a chance it's all too late And i'm way past every moment But i'm still determined to fight And I know it's taking all my strength To keep these emotions alive Loving you is suicide

I woke up with a jolt as the heart beat monitor went to a straight line then it went up and down again. At the same time the nurses gasped as they saw my eyes open, Bonnie then broke out of their grasps and ran over to me, holding me close to his chest. His purple orbs littered with crystal clear tears as he tried to breathe, the nurses left thinking everything was safe.

"[Y/N]! Don't ever scare me like that again!" The purple haired male yelled softly. "I'm so sorry I was hanging out with your enemy. Please, please forgive me."

"It's alright Bonnie, I'm sorry you thought I was dead. Now I know, that...Even though loving you is suicide, I'll keep fighting it." I managed to choke out, he looked happy I said that. So after 2 weeks in the hospital I was allowed to got free, me and Bonnie couldn't be any happier. But I learned that I will NEVER tell him I'm pregnant, he'll just freak out and start doing everything. *Sigh*