Authors Note: Thank you so much to those of you who are now following this story, and a special thanks to the person who reviewed. I'll be trying to update this once every one to two weeks, unless my uni workload suddenly increases! Anyway, that's all from me for now - hope you enjoy reading this chapter.
Disclaimer: As per usual, anything you recognise does not belong to me.
Chapter 2: A Surprise Visit
Remus woke up gradually. It was two days after the full moon and he was still sore and overtired. Since that night, six months ago now, full moons had become progressively worse. Greif stricken as he was, the wolf was even more violent than usual, leaving behind a destroyed cellar before turning on himself in anger. He often thought that if even one of the other marauders had remained, he might have been able to tame it, but he had no friends to accompany him anymore; not Wormtail, or Prongs, … or Padfoot. Even thinking the old nickname was hard.
Sitting up in his bed, Remus placed his head in his hands. He still couldn't believe it. They had been four; four of the best friends anyone could have asked for. Next thing he knew James and Lily were gone, Peter dead, Harry off to live with muggles, and Sirius the main cause for it all. No, he reminded himself, not Sirius, Black … he was no longer on first name terms with the monster who betrayed them all. Remus could still remember the grim look on Dumbledore's face when he opened his door the morning after it happened. He had known, that second, that the worst had happened, but he never even began to suspect the rest … that Sirius would have gone and killed Peter, along with twelve muggles as well.
"How could you, Sirius, how could you?" he muttered. And that really was the question. James and Sirius, no … Black had been best friends. They were closer than anyone; brothers in all but blood James used to say. Remus just couldn't for the life of him understand why.
He had lost count of the number of times he had gone to sleep at night after drinking a glass or two of firewhisky, determined that when he woke up he was going to ask Dumbledore to get him permission to visit Azkaban; to ask Black that very question. But as always, when morning came, his courage failed him. Instead he went about making breakfast as usual before heading to an ever changing menial, generally muggle, job. Another misfortune of being a werewolf.
This morning so far was little different. Getting up slowly, his mind still in another grief filled place, Remus began getting some breakfast ready. As he sat down to eat, he was startled by the sudden appearance of an owl peering through the glass. More unusually, it was a Hogwarts owl. Abandoning his piece of toast, Remus hurried over to the window. Hardly anyone owled him nowadays; most people wanted little to do with a werewolf, and as for his friends….
He shook his head before breaking the seal on the parchment to reveal a hastily written letter.
Remus,
If it is convenient for you, would it be acceptable for I to visit at around 3.00pm this afternoon. An event has occurred which I believe concerns you.
I hope you are well,
Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
Dumbledore, thought Remus, why would Dumbledore be writing to him? Unless it had to do with Harry. Was the old man finally going to get him permission to visit?
Hastily, Remus scrawled a positive reply. The owl was still waiting, ruffling its feathers impatiently, so Remus quickly attached the letter to its leg and watched it fly off. He had nothing planned for the day in any case. Having being fired from his most recent workplace for his absence earlier this week, his days were suddenly empty except for trawling through newspapers looking for job notices, which was frequently interrupted by unwanted, tainted memories of a happier past. If anything Dumbledore's visit would at least distract him, if not give him something to look forward to.
Sitting back down to eat breakfast, Remus opened a copy of the Muggle paper. After 5 minutes he had not gone past the first page. What possibly did Dumbledore need to talk to him about?
Remus had been distracted all day by Dumbledore's letter and thoughts of their forthcoming meeting. Now at five to three, he was nervously waiting in the lounge, tapping his foot against the floor and fidgeting with the paper in his hands. There was some Pumpkin Juice on the table, but unfortunately his menial funds did not allow for much in the way of refreshments.
Finally, three o'clock arrived, and prompt as ever, Remus heard knocking on his door. Quickly he hurried to open it. Standing there in his resplendent purple robes was Albus Dumbledore. Yet Remus could not help but notice the slightly grim look on his old Headmaster's face, though thankfully it was nowhere near as grim as the last time he had come knocking.
"Headmaster," Remus said, "Come in, no need to wait outside."
"Thank you Remus. And please, I am no longer you Headmaster. In private you are welcome to call me Albus."
Remus nodded, a slight smile on his face, before stepping aside to allow Dumbledore inside. Moving to the living room, Remus noticed the Headmaster was still standing.
"Please, sit," he said, "Would you like something to drink? I'm afraid my supplies are somewhat limited at the moment …"
"It's no problem at all," replied Dumbledore, "Whatever you have will be fine. It is my fault for giving you such short notice, and my apologies for that."
Shaking his head slightly, Remus poured some drinks before sitting down on the edge of his chair to face Dumbledore.
After a few minutes silence Dumbledore asked, "How are you coping Remus?"
Remus looked up startled. Surely Albus hadn't come over just to check on him. Putting down his own glass he responded flatly, "Fine."
Dumbledore lowered his glass, setting his piercing gaze on Remus, "Really?"
Remus looked away, before turning back and saying bitterly, "I'm getting by. Jumping from job to job. Earning enough to keep me going."
He paused, did he really want to admit his thoughts to his old headmaster? Rolling his shoulders slightly, he finally decided there was no point in holding back. Albus would know in any case, he always knew, even at school – most of the time in any case.
"I… I miss them," he said in a shaky voice, "Still can't really believe that they are gone: James and Lily, Peter … and I can't even see Harry. They were half of what I lived for. Then there is Black," he spat that name out, before continuing sadly, "I don't understand it. I ask myself almost every day: why? He and James were like brothers … I just..." Remus shook his head, looking down at his feet and trying to prevent the tears from coming to his eyes.
Dumbledore let him grieve for a few minutes, before saying, "Completely understandable. And if I may say so myself, for someone who basically lost everything six months ago you are dealing with it remarkably well, showing true bravery to go on with your life."
Remus nodded still looking down at his feet. He had a huge lump in his throat and didn't feel like it would be wise to talk, even in disagreement. He was not brave .. he couldn't even go and see Black to ask why.
"It is actually on the case of Sirius Black that I came to talk to you about today," said Dumbledore.
This caught Remus's attention. His head snapped up. "What do you mean," he said in barely more than a whisper, "He sold them out, he murdered Peter, he betrayed us all. What is there possibly more to discuss?"
Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, surveying Remus over the top of his glasses. Finally, he continued, "You may have heard that yesterday Igor Karkaroff was bought before court to name some of his fellow Death Eaters in exchange for an early release."
Remus shrugged slightly, before responding, "In passing." He really didn't care that much anymore, but why an earth would Dumbledore bring that up now.
"You were there?" he asked.
"Naturally, as a member of the Wizengamot," Dumbledore replied.
Then Remus realised why Dumbledore must have mentioned it. "He named Black didn't he," Remus said in a resigned tone, before adding more harshly, "So what. Nothing that we didn't already know."
"Actually, no he didn't," Dumbledore replied calmly, "When I asked about Sirius he looked surprised and said he had heard nothing about him other than the times his family cursed him for being a blood traitor."
Remus was confused now; was Dumbledore insinuating that Sirius was innocent – it was impossible, laughable even. "What are you trying to say?" he asked.
"I'm telling you this in strictest confidence of course," Dumbledore said, "It has not been released to the press yet."
"Of course," said Remus, still confused.
Dumbledore continued, "Karkaroff named numerous people, most who we already knew. However, there were two new names. One was Rookwood from the ministry."
Remus shrugged, though was slightly interested. "Interesting," he said, "But I still don't understand …"
Dumbledore held up a hand and Remus immediately fell silent. "The other, if possible was even more unexpected," Albus said, "And I warn you, this will no doubt be a bit of a shock and hard to hear, but the other person he named was Peter Pettigrew."
"WHAT!" yelled Remus standing up. Peter, there was no way, absolutely no way. Remus would never have expected that. Peter was way too small, he never could have had the ability to serve Voldemort; and he was their friend. But so was Sirius, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, wasn't he a friend? Remus sat back down and put his head in his hands. It didn't make sense. Was it possible that there were two traitors in the Marauders? Even the thought of that made him feel sick. But why would Sirius have killed Peter then? Unless Karkaroff was lying. For the second time in 3 months Remus felt his world tip on its head. Rubbing his forehead slightly, as though trying to clear his mind, he stood up and started pacing. As hard as he tried he just couldn't make sense of it.
Finally, he sat back down and looked at Dumbledore. The Headmaster was watching him carefully, as though trying to gauge when he was ready. "Explain," said Remus eventually, one word was all he could manage.
Dumbledore nodded, "Karkaroff said Peter turned spy for Voldemort about a year and a half ago. He said that he was the reason so many of our plans were foiled."
As Remus began to splutter a protest, Dumbledore kept talking, "He also accused Peter of helping organise the murder of the Potters and said many in Azkaban blame Peter for Voldemort's fall."
Remus shook his head flabbergasted, before whispering, "I can't believe it. Peter almost hero worshipped James and Sirius … It doesn't make any sense…"
Dumbledore nodded. "I know," he said, "So you can see why Sirius' case has been brought up again. I, myself, asked for it to be so. The Potters told me that Sirius was going to be their Secret Keeper, yet Death Eaters in Azkaban are blaming Peter for setting up the Potters and Voldemort. Then if Sirius and Peter were working together, why did they duel in a middle of a muggle street, resulting in a massacre."
He paused for a moment before continuing, "As I can see it, there are three possibilities. The first one is the one the ministry is inclined to believe; Karkaroff was lying or misinformed. While a possibility, as he said 'why would I lie,' and I am inclined to believe him for once – as there really was no reason. The second, very distinct possibility is a more horrible thought – that two of our number turned traitor for Voldemort."
Remus shivered at that. He didn't want to believe it, especially when it was two people who had been his closest friends, but unfortunately that looked like it was likely.
"Finally," Dumbledore said, "There is of course the possibility that we accused the wrong man."
At this Remus looked directly at Dumbledore; he felt like a small light had been lit inside him. It was small, but it was still there for the first time in what seemed like forever. "Innocent," he breathed, "You're suggesting Sirius might be innocent."
Dumbledore leaned back. "A possibility," he commented, "And very slight at that. It may even be that he did not betray the Potters, as unlikely that is seems, but still blew that street up in a mad rage at their betrayer. You know, probably better then I, that his temper was by no means small."
Remus nodded, his mind was awhirl with thoughts. There was a possibility of Sirius' innocence. He could get a best friend back. And if he truly killed Peter in revenge for James, Remus couldn't really blame him. He had felt like doing the same thing to Sirius when he found out. But he still took out all those Muggles…
Remus shook his head slightly. Hope was still there, but it was very small. He felt his heart harden slightly. It was just as likely, if not more so, that Sirius supported Voldemort with Peter, or that Karkaroff had accused the wrong man. What's more, was that Remus had suspected Sirius for a lot longer than he had ever considered Peter.
Dumbledore broke of his thoughts. "Remus," he said gently, "I know this must be hard for you."
Remus shook his head at that, "I can deal with it,"
Dumbledore nodded and continued, "I have to ask, did you ever see anything in either of Peter or Sirius' behaviour that suggested they were leading a double life?"
"I wouldn't have guessed it for either of them," Remus said bitterly, "But you have to remember I wasn't around as much – I was doing work with the werewolves."
"For which we are very thankful for," Dumbledore responded, "But can you think of anything at all?"
Remus thought for a moment before responding carefully, "Sirius would occasionally go out at night, but I almost always saw him with James or a girl, not really by himself. But he had his own flat … and I wouldn't know what went on once he went home, though he seemed to live with James half the time. Peter on the other hand, he had a menial job at the ministry, seemed to work pretty hard. Most of the time I saw him with either James or Sirius, though there would be once or twice when we would go out, even before a mission occasionally, where he would slip off; though he always said that it was to visit his mother who was sick. And I think Mrs Pettigrew was sick."
Remus shrugged slightly as he finished, although Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Thank you," he said, "Whatever you may say to differ, I know this mustn't be easy."
Remus looked down slightly. It was true, thinking of the times before that October night was difficult, however much he might say to the opposite, but he could deal with it if he had to. However, there was one thing he still hadn't mentioned; their animagus forms. As he felt Dumbledore's gaze upon him, he considered it. But he couldn't. How could he admit that he had betrayed Dumbledore's trust so? He was too weak, too cowardly…
There was a slight creaking, and he looked up to see that Dumbledore had got up from his chair.
"I must get going, Remus," he said, "But before I leave; Sirius' trial has been scheduled for next Monday. As a member of the Wizengamot I give you permission to attend if you wish."
Remus hesitated for a minute. He didn't know if he could face it. A few hours ago he would have liked nothing more than the chance to pummel Sirius to dust. But now, now he didn't know what to feel. Attending the trial… while it would be hard, very hard, there was also the chance that it would bring some closure to help him really go on with his life. Finally, he built up his courage and turned back to Dumbledore. "I'll be there," he said determinedly.
Dumbledore gave him a slight smile, "Good to hear. I will see you then Remus. And thank you for having me here this afternoon, especially at such short notice."
Remus nodded in reply, "Thank you for letting me know, Albus. I will see you on Monday."
As Dumbledore walked down the steps into the cold winter air, Remus could not help but call out shakily one last thing, "What about Harry? How is he doing?"
"I believe Harry is fine, he is with family in any case," Dumbledore replied carefully. However, he must have seen the desperation in Remus' eyes for he added, " I will see what I can do about visiting rights, but I make no promises."
With that Dumbledore turned on the spot and apparated away, leaving Remus to his very mixed up thoughts.
