I Want to Hold Your Hand – The Beatles

Oh yeah I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I'll say that something
I wanna hold your hand

They were holding hands. Again. They seemed to do it wherever, whenever. Going out from the war balloon, during breakfast, lunch or dinner, as they gave food to Appa, at night, every moment. Yes, that's what Katara remembered. Unless they were sparring between soldiers, when their fingers could not intertwine with one another. But as soon as one of them defeated the other, their fingers laced together as if there hadn't been a fight at all. Of course after they fought over who actually won that round.

She couldn't help but wonder, what exactly was so great about holding hands like that? Undoubtedly, they've done more than that. Katara had seen her brother tiptoeing out of her girlfriend's room in the early hours of morning with his clothes and hair disheveled. For a second she thought he had been arguing, but the wide, goofy grin on Sokka's face revealed what had really happened. Yet even what seemed like such a simple act—holding hands!—made their faces glow with happiness, as if they had never felt such joy before in their lives. And when they look into each other's eyes, it's like they see something no one else can see, producing a shy smile on their lips, adorning a slowly flushing face. It made her curious, it made her want to experience it.

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

It's true that she had held hands with Sokka before, but she never experienced those emotions. Her brother never smiled quite the way he did with his girlfriend. When he held her hands in all the times before, his expression had been cold, and it was always holding her protectively as he fiercely stared at Jet, the pirates, the Fire Nation soldiers, men and other enemies that he thought threatening. Katara only felt safe. It didn't make her smile with happiness or radiate the way they did when they were holding hands. It must be different.

Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man

But not really, she thought. She once asked Suki, and her answer, if anything, made her even more curious.

"I feel safe, the way you feel. But when love comes into the equation, everything feels different. You'll understand one day."

And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand

Aang's face appeared in her mind. She replayed the moments they've spent together. They held hands before, hugged, even kissed. But none of the feelings Suki described ever happened to her when she thought of Aang. Safe, peaceful, happy. "Like you're finally complete," so the Kyoshi Warrior had said, smiling at her dreamily.

Now his and Suki's hands were once again intertwined. Sokka was pulling her towards him onto Appa's saddle, desperately, as they prepared to escape from the debris and falling rubbles caused by Azula. Something was different about his expression. His face hardened, his brows taut, his fingers firmly around her wrist. It was the first time Katara had ever seen him so worried about a girl other than her, like his life would crumble if he let go.

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

"Appa, yip yip!" The flying bison readily obeyed his master's command. His six legs bent, his tail beat against the ground and a second later, they were off into the air. Using her earthbending, Toph created a wall of stone in front of Appa to defend them from Azula's fire attacks.

When they saw Zuko throwing fiery counter attacks at his little sister, their jaws fell open, eyes widening with surprise. It was the first time they saw the royal siblings going hammers and tongs against each other. If one fire blast was terrifying enough, the battle seemed like a wild chaos of fire, as they were both highly proficient fire benders. Katara and Sokka shared a glance, each promising never to fight the other the way Zuko and Azula did. Below them, the battle raged on.

Zuko leapt, kicking a ball of fire towards Azula who deflected it and returned it with continuous shots of blue flames. With impressive agility, Zuko parried the attacks while running towards Azula to get a better aim. When their distance was no more than a meter, each balled up their fist and punched a hot, flaming blast at the other. The moment their fist connected, a massive explosion threw them to opposite sides. They fell off the war balloon, into the air, both accepting the fate that would meet them.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide

Katara caught herself sneaking glances at him again. Ever since that morning, she seemed unable to pull her gaze away from those hands. Rough and strong, the two things she remembered most clearly from when she held it. She scrunched her brows as the memory of this morning flashed through her mind. It surprised even her to act so spontaneously to save her former enemy. No, it was too soon to call Zuko her former enemy. She could not afford to let her guard down now, lest he toyed with her like before. He had betrayed her once, she'll be damned if she'd let him betray her again.

I can't hide
I can't hide

Everyone was sitting around the campfire, laughing at a joke that Zuko had made. Katara scoffed. Not funny, she thought. Her eyes were still fixed upon the pale hands across her, staring at it crossly.

"To Zuko! Who knew after all those times he tried to snap us out, today he'd be our hero!" Sokka raised his glass high, followed by the others with cheers. Not Katara though.

Zuko held a hand to his heart, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "I'm touched. I don't deserve this."

"Yeah, no kidding," Katara muttered. She rose from her seat, stomping as she left the cheery circle, walking towards a nearby open field by the harbor. She tried not to mind the anxious silence that followed her departure. Finally, after some wandering, she chose a boulder for her to sit on, and she gazed out into the darkness. She needed to think.

Yeah you've got that something
I think you'll understand

Yes, think. Katara had to sort out her cluttered mind by thinking. Thankfully they landed somewhere close to the sea this time. As a waterbender, being close to her element made her feel slightly more calmer than usual. She knew nature would help her if she needed it.

When I'll say that something
I wanna hold your hand

Slowly, she released a sigh. Her fist uncurled, and grimacing to herself, she replayed the events of that morning.

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Even at her cruelest, Katara could not bear to hate someone so much to want to wish them death. No, that was the worst idea; to kill or let someone die was not on her list. Everyone had a right to live their lives, and if they were fated to die, she swore she would do anything not to be the one pulling the trigger.

Maybe that was why her breath caught in her throat when the explosion threw the Fire Prince off the war balloon. Maybe that was why her heart pounded frantically against her ribs when she saw the fire bender freefall into the air. Maybe that was why she was the one to reach out her hand towards him to save his life. Maybe she was simply a kind person.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside

Ah, that's right. They had touched. Katara could still feel the warmth of his hand as if imprinted on her skin, the heat seeming to crawl into her cheeks now long after the event. She bit her lip as she recalled it all. The tingles on the back of her neck. The exciting sparks that accompanied his touch. The calm and peace that washed over her. An addictive feeling that made her want to experience it again. Again and again. More than anything, she felt such joy and relief when before her heart was twisted in pain, as if her happiness depended on him being alive.

It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide

Like you're finally complete. Suki's words resonated in her ears.

No! She would only allow herself to feel such things with Aang—the one she loved. Unless…

Katara shook her head, wishing that she could shake the image of the firebender from her mind. She couldn't possibly let herself fall for a man like Zuko. She couldn't gamble with her heart. What if he hurt her again, or even worse, like he did when they were in the Crystal Catacombs some time ago? She loathed the emotion, it was as if he had slapped her, as if he had taken her heart, and then smashed it to pieces. It left a bitter aftertaste on her tongue, making her want to vomit up the feelings that crowded her chest.

But… you wouldn't feel pain if you didn't care about them, would you? If you didn't love them, surely their actions wouldn't bother you.

I can't hide
I can't hide

The wind blew, bringing a warm, masculine scent wafting into her nose. Katara didn't have to turn her head to know exactly who had approached her. She remembered the scent, ever since he had embraced her, shielding her from the falling rubble that morning.

"This isn't fair," he murmured. His voice caused shivers to run down her spine. "Everyone else seems trust me now, what is it with you?"

Yeah you've got that something
I think you'll understand

Katara stood and turned to face Zuko. Her breath hitched when her eyes met the fire bender's golden orbs. The look on his face was… pleading. Did her opinion matter so much to him? Katara was afraid that if she didn't break her gaze, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from doing the exact opposite of what she had to do—forgive him. Because if she forgave him, she wouldn't feel threatened by him. And if she didn't feel threatened by him, she would feel comfortable around him. And if she felt comfortable around him, she'll want to hold those hands again. And if she held his hands, the unthinkable might happen. She might let her heart fall for him.

When I'll feel that something
I wanna hold your hand

Despite her mind's insistent commands, her eyes never wavered from the man in front of him. She couldn't fool herself, her heart was starting to melt. So she glared at him, scrunched her brows and frowned, trying to cover her feelings with anger. Yet she knew that she couldn't deny the rush of feelings that filled her heart, and that the next thing that happened would be the unthinkable.

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand