Thanks for the kind rewievs and to all those who already read this :3 Here we go! Hard times are coming... Sorry I didn't update yesterday. The flu caught up with me. Just grate. Exactly when my classtest phase starts.
And she will cry your name in her sleep...
For she is still waiting for you.
Chapter One: On The Brink Of Sanity
I put my pencil aside with a sigh. It escapes my lips almost unnoticed. My head is empty, and it seems so is my chest. I slump on the chair and bury my head in my hands. What is wrong with me?
My gaze wanders over to the yellow-ish sheet of paper on my desk. I stare at it for a second before my thoughts start working. Leo? God, I sound so pathethic. But that's how I feel. Or at least how I felt a few days ago. When I still cared.
It seems surreal now, like a dream. It really has only been- what? Two days? Three? I don't remember. I couldn't tell you the date if I wanted to, it was all too fast to recall now. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came. To Germany. To my house. Transformed into humans. I shake my head, half in disbelief, half in bitterness. Did that really happen? Almost without a thought, my hand wanders up to touch my cheek. It is faint, but the scratch is there. A brick, falling from the ceiling... The last moments I saw them.
We did write for some time, after that. I wish I could believe that. I don't even have evidence for that. No letters. No nothing. Everytime I press the button on that small black device Donnie sent me, everything from their dimension disappears. I have to place the remaining, empty sheets under a big iron lid to keep them here. And Donnie discovered that only recently. I didn't think about saving their letters back then, I thought I'd have plenty of new ones. Now I wish I would have. I wish I made copies. Anything. But I didn't.
The pencil clatters to the ground, but I do not bother picking it up. Those letters, those three pathetic letters seem to jump at me, to claw at my face. They dance behind my closed eyelids. Leo? As if I hadn't stopped believing they'd write back a long time ago. Weeks ago.
A strange noise reaches my ears as if from a distance. Confused, I look up and around. I can't place the sound for a second. Then my gaze falls upon my cellphone which is vibrating and blinking. Oh. A call. As I pick up the small green device and press the green answer-button, I realize that my fingers are shaking.
"Yeah?" I don't know who could be calling me right now. For a second, I don't know where I am either. Then I look around and realize that I must have stood up and gone out of my room in the last few seconds. Strange. I look down the corridor and feel dizzy. Dudette, this house is a maze! Whoa! Unbelievable!
The other end of the line is silent. I realize only then that someone was talking to me before. "Sorry. Who's there?"
Someone giggles and I resist the urge to throw my cell away. Who is that? Then a high-pitched voice half-sings into the phone- "Sweeeeettiiiieeee! It's meeeee! How are you? And more importantly, where are you?"
The neurons in my brain start to fire. A name popps up. Johanna. A smile tuggs at my lips as I speak. "Hey honey. I'm at home. Why?"
In the silence that follows, my gaze falls on my calendar that's hanging from my wall. My eyes go wide. "Oh no! Honey, I am so sorry! I totally forgot about today. Hold on, and everyone, stay where you are. I'm there in two seconds." I shut the phone before they can even answer and fly down the stairs and into my boots. My handbag is still right where I left it. I grab it and then I'm out the door and on my bike, cycling down the street at full speed. Holy sh- snap. How could I forget karaoke afternoon?
Only halfway down the street the thought first occurs to me that I left the last letter on my desk. And only then I start to wonder whether it is a good idea to go out at all or not. But it's too late now. Let the fun begin, I think, but the moment of happiness I had when I heard that girl's voice is over. What's left is bitterness. Let the fun begin.
I can't really miss my destination, the small bus stop not far from my home. Everyone else is already there and waiting. I suddenly realize that they missed the first bus because of me, and a wave of guilt washes over me. I don't even really know those people. And yet, there they are, smiling and not mad at all. By now, I even know their names. Charine, called Cackie. Dunno why. Johanna, a real sunshine, called Jojo. Emily, short Em. Phillip, Emily's boyfriend. Nikolai, a friend of Phil. Lucie. And me. I realize with a start that Tobias and Michael are not with them, but before I can ask, Johanna storms over to me and embraces me tightly.
I am pulled off my bike and stumble. "Jojo, take it easy!", Lucie chuckles and everyone else laughs. The small, brown-haired girl with the huge eyes only grins up at me and doesn't let go at all. "Sweetie, I was worried about you! Are you all right?" She then pulls back and looks into my face questioningly. "Have you been crying? Don't worry, Micha will be just fine. It's just a routine."
I wipe my tumbs over my cheeks and look at them. They are lightly black. My mascara. Dang it. The rest of her sentence hits me like an electric current then. "Why? What's with Micha? Is something wrong?" I stare at my new .. friends with horror.
"No, no!" Johanna realizes her mistake, but before she can make it better (or worse, for that matter), Charine interrupts. "He's at the hospital for the last check. He's all right. As Jojo said, it's just a routine." The much more reasonable and thoughtful brunette smiles at me reassuringly. Then Emily starts to hop up and down and waves wildly. "The bus! Hey, bus, over here!"
Phillip laughs and embraces her to kiss her one more time before we enter the vehicle. As we pay our tickets, I wonder why that action made my heart hurt. Everything lately tends to do that. Memories are everywhere. Which is ridiculous, but true. Slowly, the realization of what's making me so sad starts to sink in, but I don't allow the feeling to reach me. Right now I'm gonna have fun. Basta.
"Are Micha and Tobi gonna come later?" I ask. Emily nodds encouragingly. "Yeah, they're prolly already on their way. They just need to take another bus from the hospital. The..." she frowns, "The SB87, I think. The blue- and- green- one."
"I don't get why you all are that obsessed with the boys." Nikolai shakes his head in disbelief. "They can't even sing."
"Michael can", Johanna protests immediately. "Other than you." She sticks her tongue at him. "Besides, don't you think they are absolutely adorable?"
"Hell yes, they are", I agree. Something about a gay couple is unbelievingly cute. Nikolai seems to think otherwise. "I don't know. I think it's kinda strange." He looks up to find us all glaring at him. (All but Phillip who decides to keep himself out of this argument.) Quickly, he holds up his hands in surrender. "Hey, easy there. In the end, it's not my beer. As long as everyone's happy." He rolls his eyes when the mood relaxes.
We get out of the bus and walk the last few steps to our destination- the small karaoke bar. Loud music beats through the windows and the opened door. "Hey, that's Rihanna's new song!" Charine shouts and fastenes her pace. Everyone else follows her lead, laughing. Once we are inside and have blocked a table, it takes Tobias and Michael only ten minutes to come in as well. It's a funny evening and I almost forget my depressing thoughts. Even though Tobias keeps glancing at me from sideways. I try my best to ignore him. I almost manage to.
Almost.
Only late that night, when I lay up in my bed, the images come back. The questions. Nights have the ability to change everything. No doubts every great plan and script was formed at nights. The darkness and the shadows have the ability to do that.
Why does that hurt me so much? I have many people I hang out with now. I am not alone anymore. So why can't I just forget those comicbook characters?
Because they were the first real friends I ever had. The first adventure. The catalysator for everything else that happened since then. That's why.
With these thoughts, I fall asleep. The last letter remains on my desk, untouched.
For now.
