Chapter two: I was done explaining myself.

The first thing I noticed as I approached the entrance was a motorcycle parked outside. I smiled despite myself, Puck was home. As the picture became clearer I saw the garage door open and decided to check on the men.

Just as expected Dad and Puck were very into whatever crazy idea one of them had come up with, for the looks of it, it had something to do with the major Lopez project being developed right now, it seemed we were all going to be a part of that one. Well, everyone except the one getting it as a surprise.

-Hey guys

I spoke into their current discussion, something about Lopez, food, ladies , wheels, diners and strings. I think they were trying to come up with a name. Before I could exclaim what an awful job they were doing my father called my attention.

-Lady Lopez!

Puck snickered at the nickname my dad sometimes called me against my protests. He always found it hilarious and I knew my response was equally funny to him.

-Your highness

Dad insisted I replied that way on more than one ocasión

-How is it that every time I see you, you seem more and more beautiful?

I smiled into his greeting embrace. I don't think this man had ever one bad thing to say about anybody.

-So, dad's got you involved already?

I turned to puck and said hello the only way we knew how: bickering.

-I'm just a loyal peon

Puck did a mock reverence towards us.

-ah, well said son. Listen and learn lady Lopez. That's the charm of a men, being humble and kind

Dad stepped away and resumed his position near the working table.

-So, I just came back from the job interview

I leaned casually against one of the pillars holding the roof in place.

-And, how did it go?

Dad spoke without looking up from the task at hand.

-I don't think he was expecting me but he didn't seem unfazed with my presence. I start on monday

Puck seemed curious but remained quiet.

-That's just the Pierce free spirit of a man, Lady. He doesn't recognize royalty

I rolled my eyes at my father who was now looking right at me.

-Did you say anything to him?

I didn´t think he did, but I wanted to be sure.

-Of course not honey. When we first made the deal I told him he could have complete autonomy regarding the construction. I'm a man of my word, he calls the shots

-That's what I thought. I'm only asking for the job because I need a change of air

Mom's going to be pissed.

-Well I'm sure you'll fit right in with the Pierces

Dad sent me an encouraging smile that made me believe everything he said.

-Have you spoken to your mother?

I winced a little and lowered my gaze

-That's where I'm headed

Even puck gave me a sympathy look and I left before I could change my mind. I walked into the study and found mom with her nose up into a research paper. This is as good as any mood.

-Hi mom

I sat across from her.

- Hi sweetie, how are you?

she continued reading.

-I'm good. Listen, I gotta tell you something

Mom eyed me curiosly before setting her work down, I could tell by her expression she knew this was serious.

-Are you breaking up with me?

I was so nervous I didn't even really pay attention to what she was saying.

-I..um what?

I'm sure she won't be making jokes in a minute.

-Sorry honey, it's just that you seem so tense and I'm sure there's no reason for that

Here we go.

-I'm quitting the research program

There was no other way to say it but to just blurt it out. Mom stayed silent for a minute looking into my face for any traces of humor. I wasn't kidding.

-Why?

came the reproachful response.

-I just... don't know what I'm doing anymore

I wasn't really nervous about telling her I had made a decision. Sure, she woulnd't like it but she would respect it. The thing is I didn't have a better motive than that and I knew she was expecting stronger reasons.

-That's it?

She took of her glassed and I felt bad, she was done for the day. I had ruined her interest.

-I'm sorry mom. I've felt this way for a while now and I kept moving because of you, because I didn't want to let you down, but that's a mediocre motive. And the fact that I was able to go through the motions because I'm scared, because I don't really know how to stop, that's just pathethic and I want to be better than that, I know I am

It was hard for me to acknowledge such a personal failure, to be so lost, but I really wanted her to understand.

-Santana where is this all coming from? you can't just abandon everything you are without a reason. What about all the hard work you've put into it? You have a privileged career. You're tweny seven years old and already a type three investigator. I was a type three investigator at 39!

Her exasperation wasn't the most comforting reaction but I knew it was coming from a good place.

-But you´re a neuroscientist mom. You couldn't even begin research before thirty

Please, please mom, just let it be.

-What's your plan?

I could see the challenge in her eyes, she was thinking 'alright, let's pretend I'm game. What's next?'

-I don't have a plan. I need time to figure out what I want mom. I'm taking a job in construction for the diner, after that I´ll deal with the decoration of the place and after that… I hope clarity comes along

I knew mom was freaking out and part of her stress laid in the fact that I should be freaking out as well but seemed just dandy. I suppose the moment to worry about was after the project was done. Somehow dropping everything I knew to help my sister's dreams come true wasn't hard to handle. But after that if I still had no idea what to build for my own, then perhaps I would catch up with my mother's concerns. She was always playing ahead.

-I'm not okay with this Santana. I think it's a mistake. But I will trust you and I hope you figure things out soon

Her stern face was a nice contrast for my father's smile. I think that's why they were such good parents. They would always paint the complete scenario for us, good and bad. No illusions of greatness or fears of failure, just the plain fact that actions had consequences.

-I know you do mom. When I know something for sure I'll let you know

I stood up and walked out of the room, I was done explaining myself.

The next day I woke up and stared at the celling until Puck came knocking on my door, dragged me out and took me for a spin. I'm sure by now he knew everything from dad and mom and yet he didn't say a word. I was gratefully reminded of why I keep him around.

I avoided Laura all day long. I'm sure she knew by now too and wouldn't t share Puck's prudent attitude and I hadn't figured out what to tell her without blowing away the surprise.

Many things were uncertain, so many I didn't even want to think about them. But I had my family and I hoped things would be okay eventually. For now, my sister's future was the only thing that mattered.