Natsumi: I can't believe we actually wrote this.
Lee: It was mostly youthful!
Neji: ...
Takara: You just stole my comment!
Neji: I don't 'steal'.
Tenten: -says something that everyone ignores-
xxxxxx
The Most Youthful Mission in Konoha's History
Disclaimer: [insert funny comment about how we don't own Naruto here]
Takara was squishing Shikamaru's cheeks from how "adorable" he was when Kakashi ran down the hall.
"GET HER OFF ME!" Shikamaru shouted desperately, trying to claw Takara off of him, deciding that when it came to pinching cheeks, she was worse than his mom's crazy sister.
"Takara!" Kakashi said, completely ignoring Shikamaru's request.
"KAIKAI-SENSEI!" (A/N: She forces me to spell it like this.) Takara shrieked, causing her to pull Shikamaru's cheeks harder from the reaction, resulting in Shikamaru yelping.
"I never asked for this harassment..." he muttered under his breath.
"That is not the point," said Kakashi. "The point is Takara has a mission with Team Gai in five minutes."
"FIVE MINUTES?" Takara screeched. "How am I supposed to prepare in five minutes! Nooooooo..." she started freaking out. "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME EARLIER?"
"I...umm..." Kakashi said, trying to come up with an excuse. "A black cat crossed in front of me, so I had to go the long way."
"Nooooo!" She freaked out some more. "I haven't practiced enough... no, no, no, when I was squishing Shika-kun I should have been studying... no, no, no ,no, nooooooo..."
Shikamaru stood there awkwardly as Takara had a nervous breakdown. She collapsed on the ground and started crying.
"Um..." Shikamaru said, wanting to comfort her but not actually knowing what to say. "...um..there, there... I sound like I'm fifty... um... don't worry. You...uh...I forgive you for squishing me?"
Kakashi rolled his eye(s) only they didn't actually see the other one. Obviously.
"Nooooooo..." Takara wailed. "I'm gonna fail..."
"You know what'll actually happen?" Kakashi asked, not sounding even the bit sympathetic. Takara considered looking up and glaring evilly, but decided not to.
"What?" she asked, annoyed.
"You'll be late."
"OH, YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Takara turned her worry into anger at Kakashi. "You left me with five minutes to get ready!"
"Two minutes now," Shikamaru said, unhelpfully. Takara glared at him.
"What's going on?" Ino asked, appearing out of nowhere at the other side of the hall. "Why's she crying?"
"Kakashi-sensei told her that she has a mission and she only has five minutes to prepare so she freaked out and had a nervous breakdown and made everyone all awkward because they didn't know what to say because it's just weird for someone to randomly start crying and have a nervous breakdown from a mission that'll probably be troublesome anyways." Shikamaru said, creating an extreme run-on sentence. Ino stared at him.
"I understood at the 'she only has five minutes' part," she said. "The rest was a total waste of breath and I can't believe you weren't too lazy to say all of it."
Kakashi pointed at Takara to remind them that she was still there. Ino knelt down next to her.
"It's okay Takara," she says. "Look, let's go to your house so you can prepare. If anyone asks why you're late, we'll just blame Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi glared at her.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Ahem..." he said in a complete you-know-what way.
"I don't know why you're ahemming at me, but let's go Takara," Ino said. Kakashi continued to glare at Ino even as she helped Takara up and they went down the hall. Because seriously, who was going to stop him? He was Kakashi, the almighty amazing-
"You know they left, right?" Shikamaru said, breaking his train of thought.
"You totally just ruined my amazing I-love-me moment!" Kakashi complained. Shikamaru shrugged because he has no sense of humor.
One tick-tock later...
"LEE-KUN!" Takara called cheerfully, in a much more convivial mood than she was a tick-tock ago.
"TAKARA-CHAN!" Rock Lee shouted, waving frantically. Tenten and Neji stood there pretending Takara had acknowledged their existence.
"Hi Neji-kun, Tenten-chan," she said after running over to them.
"Konichiwa, Takara-chan," Tenten said. Neji just nodded.
"Wow, what a youthful greeting, Neji-kun," Takara said, rolling her eyes. Then, a lightbulb appeared over her head. But Natsumi forgot to plug it in, so Takara had to wait a second until the brilliant idea occurred to her. Then the lightbulb lit up after everyone shot Natsumi meaningful glances.
"I'm more youthful than you are, Lee-kun," Takara announced matter-of-factly.
"WHAT? NO YOU AREN'T!" Lee shrieked, appalled at the very thought of any other student being more youthful than he was.
"Yes I am!"
"You don't have this outfit!" Lee struck a pose. "You're welcome to be youthful, but not MORE youthful." He shook his head. "That's impossible."
"Actually, Lee-kun," Gai said. "It's possible for people to out-youth each other. Kakashi has, of course, been attempting to do so for years, but he simply can't beat me. I wonder when he'll give up..." He shook his head and got lost in memories that he probably invented.
"Fine," said Takara. "Gai-sensei, can I have a youthful green jumpsuit?"
"Of course!" Gai looked proud that someone finally took interest in his ugly ensemble. He whipped one out of nowhere. "HERE'S THE AMAZING-"
"Thank you," Takara said, before he could make a speech about how wonderful the outfit was. She rushed behind a tree and threw it on. Lee's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.
"But...but..."
"Wait a second," Tenten said. Everyone ignored her and she pretended to cough loudly.
"TENTEN!" Lee screamed. "ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED COUGH MEDICINE! YOU SOUND HORRIBLY UNYOUTHFUL!"
"Wait..." said Tenten. "What the heck, no I was just-"
"I'll go get it from the emergency kit, Tenten!" Lee declared.
"Yeah, well, I'm more youthful so I'll get it FIRST," Takara said loudly.
"Bacchikoi!" Lee said (that means bring it on, to anyone who doesn't know.) The song randomly came on and everyone, including Neji, was forced to dance like idiots for a couple of seconds. Then it stopped and the forest lit up again and the colorful disco ball went back to wherever the heck it came from, and Lee and Takara ran for the emergency kit.
"No, wait!" Tenten yelled. Lee and Takara began tossing everything out, searching for the magic medicine that would prove their youthfulness-
"!" Tenten screamed at the top of her lungs. Takara and Lee froze and Gai and Neji turned to look at her. "First, I'm not actually sick..."
"YOU LIED?" Lee shrieked. "Tenten, that's so unyouthful of you! I am appalled!"
Tenten glared at him before continuing "All I wanted to ask was what the heck is our stupid mission?"
"LANGUAGE!" Lee shouted, very annoyingly. "THAT'S UNYOUTHFUL!"
"Yes, Tenten," Takara butted in. "Watch your language, that is a very very unyouthful word."
"Hey! I just said that!" Lee whined. Takara shrugged with an evil grin on her face before doing that weird thing villains do with their hands and saying "heeheehee...". Though really, evilness is unyouthful.
"Gai," Neji interrupted Takara's evilness, earning him a glare. "What is the mission?"
"Neji! Be polite!" Lee said.
"You didn't even call me Neji-anything," Neji rolled his eyes.
"Why would I call you Neji-anything?" Lee asked, puzzled.
"Baka!" Tenten said, getting annoyed at Lee with all his 'youthfulness'. Isn't 'youthfulness' supposed to be 'youth'...? Grammar is weird...
"LANGUAGE! LANGUAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGE!" Lee cried in distress.
"Bakabakabakabaka," Tenten said. Lee gasped.
"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" Takara shrieked before Lee had the chance. Lee pouted and went over to Gai-sensei to whine about how Takara was trying to steal his identity.
"It's okay, Lee-kun," Gai said. "Kakashi does that all the time. He always copies me. I guess this makes Takara your rival."
"I HAVE A RIVAL?" Lee yelled so loudly that the birds all flew away because that can happen in Naruto.
"Oh my gosh, Lee is my rival!" Takara said. Tenten and Neji groaned.
"Can I not go on this misson?" Tenten whined at the same time Neji asked if it was too late to quit.
"No and yes," Gai said. "Now let's-"
"You still haven't told us what the mission is!" Tenten complained.
"Oh, yes, the mission," Gai said. "Well, ah, hmm...I forgot."
"YOU WHAT?" Tenten and Takara yelled in unison.
"That sounded like something Kakashi would say," Neji commented.
"Kakashi-SENSEI!" Lee screeched. (he added -sensei to anyone as stupid as Takara...this made Takara remark that I'm making her sound dumb [stupid isn't youthful] and she glared at me.)
"I was just joking, kids," said Gai, most uncharacteristically.
"Gai is being weird," Tenten whispered to Takara. Suddenly, Gai disappeared, and in his place was some random guy with a mask.
"What the heck?" Tenten asked. Random Guy started to attack them.
"DON'T WORRY, FRIENDS!" called Lee. "I'll protect you with my youthfulness!"
"No, I will!" shouted Takara. Neji used his byakugan and the guy was knocked out.
"Or...you will?" Takara said, slightly annoyed.
"Now we need to find Gai," Tenten said. Neji located him quickly and Lee ran in the general direction of what Neji had said.
"FOUND HIM!" Lee shrieked. He ran to Gai, who was tied up, followed by Takara.
"WAIT!" yelled Tenten, and, as per usual, no one listened to her. She stomped her foot in frustration. "WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ACTUALLY HIM!" Takara and Lee stopped after they were three quarters done untying him.
"Oh," Lee said.
"I just don't know how to check..." Tenten admitted.
"Hah," said Takara. "Not so smart now, are you?"
"That was unyouthful," Lee commented.
"What was?"
"You said Tenten wasn't smart."
"No, I didn't."
"Now you're lying! That's even more unyouthful!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I-but... but..."
Tenten was about to say something when Neji said "People, he's still tied up. I think we should figure out if he's Gai or not..."
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"Whatever!" Neji was impatient now.
"I have an idea!" Takara said, brilliantly. "Gai-sensei, who is your copycat rival?"
"Kakashi?"
"Hah!" Takara said. "You're not Gai!"
"Huh?"
"There was a question mark at the end of 'Kakashi'! If you were really Gai, you'd make something up about how Kakashi is always copying you and your youthfulness!"
Gai transformed into another random guy with a mask.
"...that's...weird," said Random Guy #2.
"What do you want from us?" Tenten asked.
"Uh...I don't actually know. Our sensei didn't tell us."
"Really? Ours too!" Takara said.
"Cooooool." Random Guy #2 said.
"Which village are you from?" asked Neji.
"Konoha."
"Us too!" said Lee.
"Let's go back to the-" Takara started.
"WAIT!" shouted Tenten. Everyone ignored her.
"Hold on, how come we've never seen you before?" Takara asked.
"THAT WAS MY QUESTION!" Tenten screamed.
"Haha."
"I... I don't..." he sighed and transformed into Naruto. "Sakura-chan, let's go..."
Nothing happened.
"Sakura-chan?"
"YOU WERE RANDOM GUY #2?" Takara yelled.
"Who?"
Gai leapt out of a tree with Kakashi.
"Well, that was a fun prank, rival," Gai said, shaking hands with Kakashi.
"WAIT!" Takara said. Tenten made a point of obviously ignoring her. "So I-I..freaked out...nervous breakdown... I... prank?... should have expected...Ino?...troublesome mission... waste of time... for NO REASON? I...whaaa?"
"Yeah, it was all a prank," said Kakashi. Takara twitched.
"WAIT!" said Naruto, and everyone turned to look at him, much to Tenten's annoyance. "Where's Sakura-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan...?"
"I think I knocked her out earlier..." Neji muttered.
"YOU WHAT?" Naruto said and ran off to locate her. Takara continued to twitch and stared at Gai and Kakashi, muttering under her breath. Lee was the only one close enough to hear "painful death...kill... peanut butter... so much...maim... going to pay... might ask Sasuke for help... and Captain Jack Sparrow...or Barbossa, whatever...doesn't matter...revenge... nervous breakdown..."
"GAIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Lee said in a sing-songy voice. "TAKARA IS BEING UNYOUTHFUL!"
"LISTEN, TEME!" Takara yelled. "YOU DIDN'T FREAK OUT AND START CRYING AND HAVE TO GET INO TO CALM YOU DOWN ENOUGH FOR THIS MISSION!"
"Yelling angrily is unyouthful," Lee said. Takara tried to decide who she was going to hurt first. She chose Gai and Kakashi.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! A PRANK?" she screamed and was about to charge at them but Tenten and Neji had to hold her back.
"You know," Kakashi said. "It's kinda useless to hold her back, seeing as we are both about a hundred times more experienced than she is."
"Still," Tenten said. No one really cared, though.
"Gai-sensei! I'm so glad you aren't Naruto!" Lee jumped on him.
"Lee, that isn't very youthful," Tenten pointed out. Lee ignored her. Tenten twitched. Takara looked ready to murder someone. Namely Kakashi and Gai.
"I COULD'VE BEEN STUDYING THIS WHOLE TIME-"
"or squishing Shikamaru," Kakashi added.
"I'm going to KILL you!" Takara wrenched herself from Neji and Tenten and ran toward Kakashi, who sighed and pushed her away with one hand. Takara twitched.
"You couldn't have made me look cool?" Takara whined.
"No."
"That hurt!"
"What? I barely touched you!"
"SHHH! That makes it more embarassing! And it hurt here," she pointed at her heart.
"Oh. Whatever."
"You're so sweet," Takara rolled her eyes.
"Can we go now?" Tenten asked.
"Can we go now?" Neji asked.
"Yes, Neji," Gai said.
"WHAT?" Tenten screeched. "I'm going to kill you losers for ignoring me! Shino will help!"
At the mention of Shino, Gai and Lee ran away.
"YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!" Tenten chased after them, throwing weapons.
"YOUTHFULLY!" Lee called back.
"As if she could keep up with them," Neji rolled his eyes.
"Wow, you're such a nice best friend," Takara said.
"Tenten is an idiot," he shrugged. Takara stared at him.
"What? I'm leaving..."
"You know, Neji," Takara said before he went.
"What?"
"I initally intended to annoy the guts out of you, not Lee," Neji looked up suspiciously. "So, next time, I guess." Takara smirked evilly and winked.
"...I have to go," Neji said, and left before he had to face whatever terrible thing Takara had in mind. Which was nothing. Yet.
The Next Day
"Where's your youthful jumpsuit?" Lee asked Takara the next day at school.
"I decided to stop wearing it," Takara said. Lee looked relieved. "Your life just isn't youthful enough for me to wear the same stuff as you."
Lee twitched.
xxxxxx
Takara: Sorry I was mean to you, Lee-san.
Lee: It's alright, Takara-chan -tears stream down face as Lee and Takara share a forgiveness hug, with a sunset in the background and weird music-
Neji: ...must every hug he gives go like that?
Takara: It's a forgiveness hug.
Tenten: -says something else-
Natsumi: Fairly Odd Parents is on TV.
Tenten: I hate you guys! -says really loudly so everyone HAS to hear her, but no one reacts so she is, yet again, ignored-
Natsumi: Okay, bye =D
Tenten: -is crying-
Everyone: Aww...sorry for ignoring you.. we promise not to do it again...
Natsumi: Or do we...? -dramatic evilbackground music. cue lightning- -music and lightning suddenly stop.- Kthanksbye.
