AN: First iCarly story. It'll only be a few chapters long. It's a side story thing so I can get back into my writing mojo! Because college is warping my ease with certain POVs. Right now the first POV is the best I've got. It's easier than keeping track of EVERY other character.

Sorry for any mistakes. I always do a spelling an grammar check but sometimes it's hard to read over a whole chapter you just typed up.

iOwn Nothing! But Nathan and Tanner and maybe the new tech producer I might bring in. Let me know what you think!

A: Bring in a new tech producer to work with Freddie

B: Take Freddie out and just get a new guy

C: Just leave Freddie there

Cast your vote!


Life was on the up and up. I was getting used to having the easy but complicated life of a regular web show host teenager. And besides the web show…it really should have happened a lot sooner.

I smirked as I blew my nose into a slob of wet noodles. I dunno why people ask us this stuff…but it sure kept like interesting.

I laughed to the camera as I smacked the noodles down in a bowl in front of Gibby's little brother Guppy.

It was hard to pretend that I didn't want to always touch Carly, even though she was right there. It was hard to keep my hands away. But Sam Puckett is all about control. Over emotions and actions considered silly of course.

Why people wanted our old junk, I would never know. But hey…whatever floats your boat. I blink at Gibby when he does the pirate voice with the hook finger. …Boys man.

Looking over at the seat across from Guppy I nod to my own little brother. "Didn't you tell him not to do that?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, but he wouldn't listen to me." He shrugged his tiny shoulders and looked up at the camera. "He's dumb." He shrugged.

"What an honest little guy. You should have your own shirts." Freddie snipped. "'Making and selling insults since the 18oos."

I blinked. "That's the smartest almost insult I've ever heard you throw Benson."

Freddie sneers at me and I sneer back, Carly touches my arm and pulls me back. My heart does what I'd call a double take. Her hands are always so soft. "Anyways, back to our little junkyard here…what items are for sale here Sam?" She was a natural show host.

I go back into show mode, Sam Puckett who can take on the world and sucker punch life in the face. "Well to our right here we have Spencer's clever but failed fan of hammers." My girl almost lost her head because of this. It was a cool idea…but I still hated it.

"Who could forget that memorable camera moment?" She smiled but the look in her eyes told me she wasn't fond of the flashback. I leaned in close; I could feel her body heat from here. "Who doesn't love a dangerous time?"

She giggled and I stepped back, showing the next item. I gave Gibby a funny look when he made those ugly kissing faces to the dummy sporting the Penny-tee and a pair of my old boxers. There was an awkward pause, Carly nudged me in the back to keep moving.

"…Alrighty then. Moving right along." I turn and take the thing closest to me, not Carly (boy I wish), but a pair of tech sneakers.

I look over at Nathan when I hear him shout. "Dude, what's wrong?" I'm in big sister mode right away…until I see Gibby eating the noodles I blew my nose into. Nathan is making that disgusted face I've had on my face while talking to Fredward to many a time.

"I love this sauce what is it?" Gibby gushes. Nathan looks at me, his bottom lip sticking out, he swallows but he still gags in disgust. I walk over to him and ruffle his hair.

"It may be a cheese sauce." I wasn't sick…it'd be a lot more green if I was. Then I'd have to say some kind of new pepper from Mexico.

Carly giggles, I look over at her. And I can't help the smile that pulls my lips up like they're attached to strings. "It's possible, but it snot." She grinned. It was a silly joke but it made me laugh.

"Gross." Nathan mumbled.


Carly took out that wiener dog with three legs. "Who gets this little charmer?"

I took it from her. "Nathan. I bought it for him." I call him from upstairs and he takes the steps carefully before running up to me and taking the dog. "There ya go little man."

"Thank you." He gives me that sweet little smile before he goes to the couch.

I look up at my friends…or my best friend and that other dude. She's smiling at me, and it makes me feel like I'm a superhero or something. But that look Fred-dork gives me…, "What?" I snap.

"Did you buy it?"

I glared at him. "Yes I bought it." No I wasn't the world's best person….but I'd never steal to get my brother anything. Not even food. I had to teach him right from wrong, yunno? And no I'm not the best person to teach him that because I usually pick wrong, but I want him to do the right things. I want my baby brother to be Yale material when he grows up.

Carly gives him a look and he drops it. She picks something else from the box. "Told you people would want stuff from iCarly."

I spot a small scab on her arm and poke it, hardly trying to peel it off. I just want an excuse to touch her. She smiles at me, that little smile that I know she has just for me. I love her so much it hurts. "What are you doing?"

I shrug. "You have a scab."

And it's like she knows I'm only half trying to pick it off but that I'm just touching her to touch her. Because she has the look in her eyes like we both know something but neither of us will say it. She flicks my hand playfully. "Leave it alone." And I leave it.

"This is cool, check it out." Benson speaks up. I glance at him and make a snap at him because of his snip at me.

"Did someone finally friend you?" I look back at Carly. "See Cupcake, miracles can happen." She gives me that knowing look again and I smile back at her, heading over to Nathan's side on the couch.

I play with the dog, making growl sounds as I rub it into his belly, making him giggle.

"What is it?" Carly asks Freddie with patience. I ruffle Nathan's hair and hand back his toy and pick up the Penny-Tee that spells Uncle Female in bright yellow letters.

"The Penny-Tees sold more than any other item on the show. Almost three hundred bucks." Nobody listens to me when I have good ideas. Well Carly does but sometimes I don't think she takes me seriously.

"See mama knows these things. Did I, or did I not tell you people?" I point between them.

Carly smiles and nods. "You did tell us people." I nod and grin at her, she grins back now and I stand beside her. She bumps my shoulder and my heart does another double take.

I really miss being able to do kid stuff just because I was a kid. Why did everything mean something to the brain…especially my love infected one. Everything she did was a signal to me about something, even though I knew it probably wasn't.

"People want these Tees. We should make 'em, bank on 'em, quit school and open that restaurant I was talking about." I wasn't serious about quitting school or opening that restaurant. What good would it be to tell Nathan all the good stuff school can do for you if I quit going. He needs better than this.

And the restaurant thing…well Carly talked me out of that little ditty. "Sammy, nobody wants to kill a chicken then barbeque it." See…she talked me out of it. She can make me sure of anything, because I'll believe anything she tells me. And it's cute how she's the only one who calls me Sammy.

However rare it may be.

I shrug and look down, mumbling that she didn't know everything. But God damn me if she couldn't convince me she did.

"Are we gunna do the Tee thing or not?" I ask uncaringly.

"I think we should." Benson gets off the computer, looking at Carly. "We could make a decent amount of cash."

Money…I needed more of it. Not for me but, I glance out into the living room to see Nathan watching cartoons. I think he's watching Rocket Raiders.

I'd never told anyone but Melanie and Carly, but I'd made a bank account. Melanie and me were putting in a little cash here and there for Nathan when he goes to college. So far we've almost go a few twenties more than two thousand.

I look at Carly; her word is the one that matters in this. Not Benson's. If she were to say no, I'd drop it and never speak of it again.

"Let's go for it." She nods, smiling.

"Yes!" I hop up on a kitchen chair. "iCarly's in the Penny-Tee bidness!" More money meant more funds in Nathan's college account.

Sure I set aside some money to take myself to college, but only enough for a community college.

I think that may be part of why she agreed to this. I jump off the chair and watch Fredward turn to Carly. "Now we just have to find out how," I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. He had the same look of awe on his face when he looked at Carly. Neither of us would ever be able to get over her. But as it stands…I have a better chance with her than he does.

A knock came to the door and Carly went to get it. I snap Benson with the shirt, he hisses in pain. It's what he gets for staring at my girl like that.

Oh yeah…I knew all about the little boyfriends and their habits…I have a much better chance than Freddie. Think I didn't notice how much Jake looked like me? Wrong. Think I didn't notice how much Griffin acted like me? Wrong again. She's attracted to people that look and act just like me.

And I think she may have been jealous of Jonah. It's what I was trying to do. I love Carly so much…I wanted her to be jealous. It was part of why I'd given my first kiss to the cowardly lion beside me. I wanted her to be jealous. And she kinda was, but she'd been more upset that I hadn't confided in her about it.

Spencer knocks Carly down as he lunges for the door. I'm speed walking over to help her in seconds. "You okay Carls?" She nods as I help her to her feet.

Spencer looks back at her. "Why were you on the floor, it's dirty?" And before he gets an answer he goes back to the delivery guy. I shake my head and sit her down beside Nathan who pats her arm and asks if she's okay.

I stand up straight as he shuts the door in the guy's face. "Why are you all hype?" I sit on the coffee table in front of Carls.

Spencer grins. "I got an awesome hot foreign movie!"

Carly glares up at him. "And this is why you gave me an awesome hot concussion?" It probably sounded better in her head.

Spencer is so…Spencer! Everything he does is just so him…that you already expect it before he does it. He runs into the back and he's pretty much ignorant to everything but his girlfriend who doesn't speak English.

"Okay, we're going shoplifting!" She shouts, head tipped back.

"Wear a jacket!" He hadn't heard a word she said but the fact that we were leaving.

I blink up at Carly and she blinks back. I reach out and touch her arm. "Are we really going," I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun now and then. Especially when I gave my food to Nathan when we had skipped dinner for some reason or another.

She gives me that, 'You should know better ' look and sucks her teeth. "No!"

Hey…dreamers can dream right?


I leave Nathan with mom, who has set a record for herself. She's been sober most of the week. And she actually looked happy that they'd spend some time together.

I left him at home because I didn't want him to see me do forced labor on a bunch of kids that were almost his age. They'd complain and ask why he wasn't working…and then he'd look at me funny for the rest of his life.

But I couldn't make these shirts on my own, and I refused to work with Benson. So…this was my only option. I had to do this so Carly would have more money and so would Nathan's bank account.

I knew Fred-dork was going to say something before I even walked in. I really wish Carls would just let me pop him one in the jaw just once. …Course if I hit him with full strength his jaw may be cracked, or even better it may be broken. "Knock-a-doodle-doo." I call, wheeling boxes into Carly's room.

"Sam where have you been?"

I smirk; she's so cute when she's worried. "A place." I speak with a teasing tone.

"…Do I even wanna know what's in those boxes?"

I smile and she can't help but smile back. She's always told me I was like an infection. 'A happy, good, bad, Sam infection.' She'd said. And just like her power over me…I had a feeling if I asked her to…she'd try and jump buildings in a single bound.

I know I would if she asked me to.

"Did you knock over a Fat Cake truck?" Benson asks sarcastically. I glance over at Carly who rolls her eyes. Sometimes I think she's just as annoyed with him as I am. I take that as an 'Okay go' and shove him down, he shouts and cries and I smack him like I would Nathan when he does wrong, only ten times harder. And finally I punch him in the kidney and let him go.

And no I don't spank Nathan like an enraged monster mom. Heck our mom has never even hit him. But when he's wrong and we both know it, I give him a good smack so he won't do it again. It's really rare for me to have to do that.

I turn to Carly; she looks amused at my actions. "Really wanna know what's in those boxes?" I smirk. She closes her eyes and claps her hands together and squeezing them tight.

"Please don't be fireworks." She mumbles over and over. I roll my eyes. Just like my Cupcake.

Now is my time to make her proud. Well…almost. Because I know she'll be disappointed in me if and when I show her how I made these. I open the box and pull out a bundle of Penny-Tees. "Thirty finished Penny-Tees." I state proudly.

She blinks, surprised but happy to see them. "Wow…really?" Like they aren't sitting in front of her.

"And thirty more in that box and then the box after that." I smile, almost proud of myself. But I'm ready for the crushing blow when she sees how and gives me that 'You should know better' look.

"Seriously?" They ask together. We really need a new tech producer…maybe one that isn't a walking target of the butt of every joke.

I only look at Carly. "Seriously." I say it with a slur and she giggles, making me smile more.

"How did you make so many?" She wants to know…and I could never say no to Carly. I don't have the 'Sam' filter on my brain around her.

Benson groans and glares at me. "And why did you spank me?"

"Cause you're an annoying she-child." I answer him first and smile at Carly. She's all I've got eyes for. "And I'll show you." I prepare myself for the bite of hurt when she gives me that look. I head for the door…they aren't following; I look back and wave Carly over. He's going to follow her anyways. He was like a pup with no brain function but 'obey'.

She's edgy to follow me but she does anyways because she trusts me.

…What a waste of her time. Congrats Puckett. You've hit a new low of the year.


"You really slapped it hard." He'd been complaining the whole way down to the basement. I finally sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Dude, get over it. Maybe if you were actually a real guy these things wouldn't happen." I snip. Carly glares at me and I shrug. It's true, and she knows it better than I do.

"Sammy, why are we in the basement?" She asks patiently. I push Benson aside so she can stand next to me.

"I'm showing you how I made so many Penny-Tees." I motion to the working basement of kids as I hop down the steps. Looking back I feel a twinge of hurt as I get the look from Carly I've been expecting.

That look that tells me I would never do this to my own baby brother but I'd do it to a bunch of other kids that were close to his age? Yeah I would…because my little brother isn't sneaky brat who wants money. He's not like me.

And I love him for that.

The look I get from Fredward is much more expected. Because to him…this is just so 'Sam' of me to do. Paying kids to do my work for me and taking the lazy, easy way out of life. And I was perfectly okay with him thinking that of me. Because he didn't matter to me, sure I'd be kinda worried if he was hit by a car or someone punched all his teeth in before I could, but his opinion of me meant less than the ground I walked on.

And then there was only half left…and I knew this wouldn't work out the way we'd planned. That's why I'm Sam Puckett and Sam always thinks three steps ahead of everyone.

I'd already told two boxes of Penny-Tees online. Made about three hundred so far. And for every box of a new shirt they made I sold it. Five bucks can go a long way when you're a famous web show host.

See…because I'm so smart, I already knew these little punks would get outta hand and try to sell their own way. That's what it means to be a few steps ahead of the game.

And now Nathan would get some cash in his college fund and I'd have some money to buy us some new clothes, shoes, and buy about a weeks-worth of food.

What's worse about this whole thing is that Carly is still really upset with me. And we'd probably have made more cash if we'd all worked together. But Sam is Sam and Sam works alone or with Carly. And Sam doesn't take the hard, high road. Sam takes the low, car pool lane.

But still…when Carly asks me to come with her to Groovy Smoothie to say sorry I can't say no. I don't want her to give me that look anymore.

"Hey little man?" I call into my house. Small steps are on the stairs and his little blonde mop of hair shows up before the rest of him does. He's dressed in new sneakers and a pair of kids skate shorts with a long white sleeved shirt and a velvet vest with a hood. Only the best for my baby bro.

"Wanna go to the Groovy Smoothie with me to see Carls?" He nods with a smile. "Alright let's head out." I go to take his hand but then I wonder, "Where's mom?"

"Taking a nap." He answers simply.

And he hadn't left the house. Yeah…don't mean to brag or anything, but I taught my baby brother pretty well.

I leave mom a note saying where we are, seeing as she's actually starting to care. "Let's roll little dude." I grin and take his hands, hoisting him up landing him on my hip. He gives a squeal of laughter. He likes the little rollercoasters at theme parks. He's just like me.


Nathan sits on my lap and sips my Blueberry Blitz smoothie. I brush his bangs out of his face. "I think it's time for a haircut Nathe."

He lets go of the straw. "Okay." He goes back to sipping my favorite flavored smoothie.

There's another long pause. "Say it." Freddie finally tells me. I glare at him and sneer. "Don't tell me what to do." I hate it when he tries to act tough.

He is getting older…but he's still little geek Freddie with the almost deeper voice that can't take a punch and whines about everything.

"Sam," I look at Carly. "Please?"

…I couldn't say no to Carly, I had no power to. I sigh and nod. "I'm sorry or whatever. I didn't give you enough breaks and," I cover Nathan's ears and he looks up at me in confusion before going back to his drink. "Giving you guys animal food. I guess I could have been nicer."

The two kids nod, but I keep my hands over Nathan's ears. Benson says something and then Carly looks at me. "…Animal food?" There's that look again, like she's torn between disappointment or agreeing with Freddie that it's just so 'Sam' of me to do with amusement.

I shrug. "It strengthens hooves." That had to mean feet on people. She looked amused now and shook her head.

Fred-dork and Carly try and patch things up, but I know better. It's why I have an envelope in my pocket for Carly with over four hundred dollars in cash. Oh yeah…I knew the game far to well to get out played by fourth graders. When I was their age this stuff was child's play to me. I made about a thousand and more dollars all in all. Some was going to Carly, some had gone to me and the clothes on our backs, and the rest had gone into the bank. I still have a hundred and some change left.

I follow Carly out with Nathan back on my hip. I could lug around a five year old for three hours and not get tired. It helped he was my brother. "Well, that was fun while it lasted." I take the smoothie from Nathan and take a sip before handing it back. "I'm gunna take Nathan to get a haircut. He can hardly see anymore."

"Meet us back at the studio?" She smiles. I nod and motion her closer. She gives me a curious look and I let the smirk play on my face when I see the jealous look on Benson's face. I pull out the envelope. "Some cash from the Penny-Tees." I mumble.

She blinks in surprise and looks at me. "But I thought,"

I shake my head. "I'm Sam Puckett remember. This kinda thing is what I do. I figured they'd go nuts. So I sold some ahead of time. Here." She took the envelope and opened it. "Four hundred smack-a-roos." I grin.

She looks like she doesn't know what to say, so finally she just settles on giving me a kiss on the cheek. I couldn't fight off the blush if I tried. "I uh- I'll see you at the studio." I make an excuse to get out of there quick. She nods, smiling as she tucks the money away.

"Let's get you a stylish trim little man!" I cheer.

"Yay!" Nathan shouts and giggles when I tickle his belly.

My life is easy and complicated and filled with different jobs and people and things I love, like, and hate. But right now…it's honestly pretty sweet.