Remembering dreams was always like looking through a veil. The basics were there, the shapes and colours and textures, but never the details. Never the specifics, never the truths. That was what it was like for Regina. The more she tried to analyse the aspects of her dream, the murkier it became. It was getting to the point where she wasn't sure which the beginning was, and which was the end.
It was frustrating the woman more than she'd care to admit. She felt like she was standing on a river bank, looking into the depths of a lake which was covered in smog, knowing that the answers were right in front of her but just out of reach. Just out of sight. It was cruel, taunting.
Exhaling loudly, the queen rose her eyes to the mirror she was standing in front of and took a long, hard look. Regina was staring at herself, but still was unable to recognise the woman in front of her. She ran a hand down her abdomen and stood up straight, shoulders back and looking as regal as she could muster, imagining the rightful crown that used to adorn her shoulder-length, black hair. The clothes she wore in this world were far different to the elegant and expensive dresses that were handmade for her in the Enchanted Forest. She had to admit though, the black power suits she wore here made her look just as in control as the dresses did. She was wearing one of her favourite ones today as she wanted to look her best when chaperoning Miss Swan and Henry around the author's house. After insulting her a few nights ago, the blonde had took it upon herself to apologise to Regina, to which she grudgingly had accepted.
The three had decided to keep their little, 'Nancy Drew' investigations to themselves, which Regina was grateful for. She would never admit this out loud, but deep down, she was ashamed at the desperate lengths she was reducing herself to for even a glimpse of a happy ending. She knew she had become a shade of her former self.
Clearing her throat, Regina stepped away from the mirror that portrayed her imperfections, her failures and slowly walked down the stairs towards the kitchen, desperate for coffee. Her eyes were slightly red from another night of restless sleep and her brain was fuzzy, causing a severe lack of concentration. She hoped she could stay awake long another to be of some use to her son.
Walking into the brightly lit room, she started the kettle, yawning loudly and letting her eyes wander. They snapped to attention at the drawings that were stuck to the fridge door and she smiled absentmindedly, remembering the occasions Henry had presented them to her, proud of his work. He had been such a young boy then, oblivious to the true nature of his adoptive mother, a heart full of love and innocence. Back then, Regina could do no harm in his eyes and he adored her unconditionally. She had revelled in it while it lasted, but she knew it would have to change eventually, if not because all teenagers resented their parents in some way or another. Never in a million years did she think it would be because of a storybook that the boy took to heart, believing with all his might that it was true, that his mother was the Evil Queen.
Regina felt cold, hard depression slap her in the face. Even though things had relatively worked out between adoptive mother and son, this wasn't the life she wanted Henry to grow up in. She certainly hadn't wanted his biological mother to step back in it and the former queen scowled at the thought of Emma, remembering the first time she had shown up at her doorstep, claiming that Henry had travelled all the way to Boston, just to find her.
Regina was ashamed to admit that she was horribly jealous of the hold the blonde had over her son. The two had clicked instantly, Henry becoming infatuated barely two weeks into their newfound relationship. Regina could never get the boy to look at her the way he did Emma. It stung her blackened heart. There was one thing in this world that she loved dearly, and that was Henry.
The loud sound of an obnoxious car horn scared her half to death and she cursed, realising that she had been moping for far too long. Quickly, she poured her half-cold coffee into a travel mug and hurried outside. It was a dreary day, the clouds a depressing grey, the drizzle of rain dampening her face.
The colour of Emma's neon yellow Bug contrasted greatly against the weather, irritating Regina for unknown reasons. Maybe it was just because the car belonged to the Saviour that got under her skin. She could see Henry in the front seat, waving at her. The boy had half of his teeth still growing in, making his smile look slightly lopsided. Regina couldn't help grinning back and walked carefully down the wet, stone steps, making sure she didn't trip in the high heels she was wearing.
To get to the car, she had to pass by her beloved apple tree and her eyes happened to wander up to it. Regina gasped slightly as she saw the state of the fruits that were hanging off of the branches. Most of them were black and shrivelling up.
How could this be? They were fine yesterday!
"Regina, hurry up!" Emma called from the car but she was too busy staring, horrified at the tree that she had worked so hard on. Did someone do this deliberately? Was there some kind of curse that had been put on them?
She heard the sounds of a car door closing and the click-clack of shoes on the wet concrete, but still she stared, feeling like something had been twisted inside of her, anger bubbling discreetly underneath.
"Regina, what are you doing?" a breathless Emma asked walking up beside the woman. "What the- what happened to your apples?"
Regina turned around to scowl deeply at the blonde.
"Miss Swan, I do realise that you have the mental capacity of a five year old, but surely you can see that I have no idea what ill fate has befallen my tree," she replied harshly. Emma merely chuckled and shook her head, shoving her hands into the red leather jacket she was wearing.
"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just called me a five year old," Regina snorted. "It sort of looks deliberate though, don't you think?"
"Precisely my thoughts, dear. It's a good job I have the Sherriff standing next to me isn't it?" the former queen smiled sweetly at the blonde who visibly swallowed.
"You want to report this?" an eyebrow was raised.
"Tell me something Miss Swan, have you ever seen apples behave in this manner by themselves?" Regina was speaking to her like a child to which Emma scowled.
"Fine, I get your point. You think someone's messed with your apples. I'll be sure to call it in once I get back to the station, okay?" Emma hoped that this would appease the older woman, not wanting to waste further time on this pointless affair.
"See to it that you do. I have some very choice words to whoever did this," Regina replied slightly menacingly. The two fell into step with one another as the former queen finally ripped her gaze away from the poisoned tree.
"Let me guess, it goes something like this, 'how dare you tamper with the Evil Queen's apples?' Die!" Emma mocked splaying her fingers out, intending on making a fireball but failing. Regina merely watched her in slight amusement.
"I'm sorry dear, but was that supposed to be an interpretation of me? Maybe you should learn how to actually use your magic next time you're going to try and do an impersonation," she cackled. The blonde's cheeks had gone bright red.
"Just get in, your majesty," Emma grumbled, opening the car door for her. Regina smirked but hopped in the back of the small vehicle. Henry spun around to her excitedly.
"Was Emma just trying to do magic?" he asked laughing. "I saw the constipated look on her face." Henry and Regina chortled as the blonde once again, scowled and turned a deeper shade of red.
"I see how it is, pick on the Saviour day is it?"
"I thought that was every day?" Henry asked laughing even harder. Regina enjoyed the sound and marvelled at how young the brunette looked when he smiled. She took great pleasure in the fact that he didn't resemble Emma in the slightest. The same couldn't be said for their personalities however, which could be quite irritating. It sometimes felt like she had a mini Emma running around her house.
"Your words hurt me kid," the blonde grinned, pulling away from Regina's mansion and starting down the road. The former queen didn't appreciate being stuck in the back seat but she let it go, leaning into the leather interior and gazing out at the gloomy sky. Her eyes were itching from tiredness and she longed for a good night sleep.
"Are you alright mum?" Henry was looking at her with concern which warmed her heart. She smiled at him.
"I'm fine Henry, thanks for asking. I'm just not sleeping very well."
"Yeah, no kidding. The other night I heard you making noises in your sleep. I figured you were having a bad dream."
That surprised Regina. She hadn't realised that she was vocal during her dreams. She glanced up and saw that Emma was watching her from the car mirror. She felt slightly uncomfortable at being the centre of attention.
"I hope I didn't wake you, dear," she said to the boy. His hazel eyes turned vaguely sad at her comment and she wondered why that was.
"Of course you didn't, mum. You really should be looking after yourself."
Regina marvelled at what point her son had become as perceptive and selfless as he had. Well, she thought bitterly, he was a Charming after all.
"Henry's right, Regina," Emma contributed. The woman was not happy at being lectured. The situation only made her realise how much she had changed since the Enchanted Forest. Once upon a time, if anybody had even tried to tell her how to do things, they would have had their head rolling faster than they could say, 'sorry.' "Maybe you should think about making a sleeping potion or something."
"I have tried, Miss Swan," Regina responded curtly. "These dreams are something else."
"What do you mean?" Henry asked worriedly. The women had decided against telling the boy Regina's troubling dreams. He had enough on his plate to worry about.
"Don't worry kid, they're just nightmares. Your mum's a tough cookie," Emma reassured him but he didn't look convinced. Nevertheless, he dropped it, much to both of the women's relief.
The rest of the journey was spent in silence, Regina staring out of the window and trying not to drop off while Emma and Henry played a quiet game of eye spy. She couldn't remember the last time Henry and her had played a game like that.
"The weather is looking horrid," Emma commented as they finally pulled up outside the Author's mansion, the gates standing wide. Regina didn't like this place at all, but she knew it was their best bet at finding out who, or what the Author was.
"It's good to see you using your eyes, Miss Swan," Regina replied sarcastically. Emma rolled her said eyes as she killed the engine. They sat in silence for a moment as the rain started to pour down heavily, limiting their vision. Regina had a horrible flashback of her dream and had to quieten down her heart.
"If it gets any worse, we may be stuck here." Henry seemed excited at the prospect but the adults dreaded it. Stuck in this creepy, old house with each other?
No, thank you.
They got out of the car at a count of three and rushed for the entrance of the building, bursting inside with all the grace of an elephant. In the ten seconds it took to get there, all three were drenched in rain water, hair plastered to their faces.
"We look like drowned rats," Henry laughed looking at his mum's. Regina wiped her forehead and gave a very watery grin.
"Speak for yourself," she said jokingly. Emma scoffed and looked at the woman with her hands on her hips.
"Please, you look worse than I do," she said with a smirk. Regina raised her eyebrows at the woman.
"I'm afraid you need a mirror, dear."
"I'm sure you still have Sidney on speed dial, don't you Regina?"
The former queen glowered at the Sheriff, eyes throwing daggers. The woman could never help herself, always having to have the final say.
"You're insufferable, Miss Swan," Regina hissed. Henry watched his mother's with growing dread. Their conversations always ended up like this, a battle to see who could be the cruellest. It made Henry feel uncomfortable and horribly sad that they couldn't get along. He wanted them to be friends more than anything else. He thought that finding the Author together would bring them closer, but so far, nothing had changed.
"Excuse me for not appreciating being stalked by the adoptive mother of my child," Emma spat back. The sudden change in atmosphere was apparent, both women throwing off dangerous auras of magic. Regina was itching to nail the blonde's face with a boils curse. She'd love to see how prominent Emma's smirk was when her beautiful face was scarred with pus oozing sores.
"Please don't do this now," Henry's pleading voice interrupted their childish argument and Regina immediately felt ashamed at taking the bait of the Saviour. She should know better by now, not to rise at her comments, no matter how biting they were.
"I'm sorry Henry," she apologised. "Your mother and I are being extremely immature." She shot Emma a dark, evil glare, one that the blonde returned just as strongly.
It was silent for a moment, the rain pounding on the roof the only noise.
"We should go to the library," Henry said hesitantly.
"Of course," Emma replied putting her hand on his shoulder. Regina bit her lip at the rising insults that she was dying to hurl at the blonde, but she swallowed them down and followed the two deeper into the house. They passed the room that had once held the portal that had sent Elsa & Anna home, but was now empty and bare. The house had an uncomfortable breeze drifting through it, occasionally raising the hair on the former queen's arms.
Henry led the way (as he was the one who had discovered the library) and walked down the hallway that had a hidden door at the end of it. He pulled the wall lamp scone and with a thick crunch the wall parted, leaving a dark passageway beyond.
Regina remembered the first time she had set foot in this library; the awe and trepidation that had coursed through her veins. The hope, for the entire room was filled with empty storybooks just waiting to be written.
She gazed at the hundreds of shelves lining the walls as she did every time she came in here and watched as Henry got straight to work, picking up from where he left off last time, searching the books for any clues. None of them knew what they were looking for, but they were trying anyway.
The smell that the hundreds of pages gave off was pure magic. Regina's skin tingled and her senses came alive from the rippling currents of magic in the air. It was a better stimulant than coffee and she felt her brain become more aware, despite the lack of sleep.
"Every time you come in here, your cheeks flush," Emma murmured as she stood next to her. Regina gritted her teeth, not bothering to respond, wondering what the blonde could possibly be getting out of all of this. What was her ulterior motive? What was she doing? "I'm sorry, Regina. For before. What I said was completely uncalled for."
The former queen turned to the Sherriff, her hands clenched slightly. "I didn't expect anything else, Miss Swan. Why would you possibly want to act like a decent human being around me? It's unheard of." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, but Emma could hear the hurt as well.
"I don't know what came over me-" she began but Regina cut her off.
"Don't make excuses, Sherriff. Despite what everyone else thinks, I know you are not the perfect Saviour," she spat watching as Emma's eyes darkened and how she bit her lip in frustration.
"You're right, Regina. I'm not. I can be the first one to admit it. I hate the pressure that is put on me. I hate this role that I've had to step into, but at least I can admit it," the blonde replied furiously.
"What are you implying?" Regina asked lowly.
"All I'm saying, is that maybe you should take a good, long look at yourself."
Regina almost screamed at the woman. If only Emma knew the internal struggles she had on a day-to-day basis. She would never had said that if she knew. Biting her tongue, she merely shook her head at the blonde and turned her back, not trusting her voice. Not trusting herself. Emma didn't have a clue what it was like to be shunned, whispered about, and feared. The woman had no idea and so she was ignorant, wrong in her beliefs about Regina, just like everybody else was.
"Why don't you ever let anybody in?" Emma's voice was surprisingly desperate and Regina swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling oddly disappointed despite her better judgement. She had hoped that, out of everybody, Emma would at least understand a little.
"Because they treat me like this," Regina growled turning around and gesturing between them. "They treat me like dirt."
Emma's face immediately portrayed how hurt that comment had made her feel and it tore at the former queen, confusing and angering her. Angry that she actually cared that her words had offended the blonde.
"Mum's!" Henry's voice interrupted their staring match and Regina realised that she was breathing heavily, her heart pounding in her ears. She felt a deep furiousness that seeped into her heart and soul for letting Emma, her son's biological mother, to affect her the way she did. Regina was the Evil Queen for Pete's sake. She could have people on their knees for her, force them to do what she pleased and yet here she was, caring about how she may have hurt someone else's feelings.
She was disgusted with herself. Embarrassed and ashamed, letting down the woman she used to be, wondering what was happening to her.
Emma took one last, wounded look at her and went over to their son, hands clenched by her sides. Regina sighed heavily, feeling a headache brewing. It was going to be a nasty one, she could tell.
As the woman was gathering up the courage to head over to the blonde, a shattering crack of thunder sounded overhead, causing Henry to yelp and the women to jump violently. The building seemed to shake from the sound and Regina's heart was in her throat once more, cruelly reminded of her dream.
There was another booming noise and the small light that was illuminating the room went out with a snap, shrouding them all into darkness. Regina started to panic, hearing both Emma and Henry breathing heavily. The fact that she couldn't see brought on a wave of claustrophobia, unable to think properly or rationally.
"Okay, don't move," Emma said breathlessly. Henry gave a little whimper and Regina remembered that he wasn't overly fond of the dark. Another crack of thunder caused all three of them to shriek loudly. "Regina! Cast us some light, would you?"
The older woman, suddenly realising that she could do magic, clicked her fingers together and once again drew up a fireball, one that she suspended in mid-air. The faint light threw shadows around the room, illuminating Emma and Henry's apprehensive faces. Henry laughed sheepishly.
"Did you forget you could do magic, mum?" he asked. Regina gave a half-hearted chuckle.
"It may have slipped my mind for a moment, yes," she answered, embarrassed, her heart still pounding in her chest.
"I think we may be stuck here for a while," Emma murmured, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Regina's stomach flipped at the thought and she wished that she was anywhere but here. The longer she spent in the blonde's presence, the more uncomfortable she felt.
"I'm going to check the rest of the house, maybe see if there's a fuse box anywhere," Regina muttered.
"Be careful!" Henry called as the woman made to leave the claustrophobic room. She left the fireball bobbing around the ceiling. Regina smiled at the care in Henry's voice and exited, once again shrouded in darkness. The entire house was silent and she snapped her fingers summoning more light. A feeling of dread had settled into her stomach and she found herself treading lightly along the carpeted floor. She chastised herself for being so silly, even if there were any intruders, she was the most powerful thing in Storybrooke. However, she just couldn't shake the feeling that this storm wasn't exactly…normal. After her dreams though, she found herself questioning everything that happened to her.
Regina made her way through the house, heading towards the kitchen. There was no furniture in the entire building; whoever lived here clearly only used the library. She felt eyes on her everywhere she turned, an irrational fear of being watched plagued her mind as she tip-toed to her destination, guided only by the little ball of light in her hand.
She had just made it to the kitchen when suddenly, her keen ears picked up the sounds of footsteps behind her and she spun around, holding her hand up high so that she could see better.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Evil Queen herself."
Regina felt every inch of her body turn icy cold as her heart plummeted.
"Maleficent…always a pleasure."
