A/N: Hehehe…go ahead, throw tomatoes at me. But don't be disgusted if I lick myself… I love tomatoes :o) You might want to read the last two lines of the previous chapter for continuity.
Disclaimer: I think the only thing that I own is Julie.
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CHAPTER 2: Of Blissful Showers and Scary Missions
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Oh, ha. They must be kidding me.
James Potter? Defense professor? Oh HAHA.
I let go of the toad that I had caught with immense difficulty. I did bang my head on the table after all, and probably lost a few brain cells in the process. I quickly scrambled out from under the table and numbly walked back to where Julie and Alice were sitting.
As soon as I had reached them, I crashed onto the bench between the two. (I'm sorry I'm so dramatic. But you have to understand…this is James Potter! Here again to ruin my life! When you have a stalker who very seriously stalks you for more than a year, then you know there is a problem.)
I looked at Alice. "Please tell me this is not happening."
She gave me a pitiful look and shook her head.
I tried to stay positive. "They're going to say 'April Fools!' anytime now," I said with determination.
Julie replied sadly, "This is September, Lil."
I groaned and banged my head on the table. This is it. Best year of my life so far just turned into (quite possibly) my worst.
"If there is a God, He hates me," I muttered darkly, when Dumbledore shushed us, and resumed his speech.
"Now that you all have had the chance to chat about these exciting news," (my thoughts: exciting, my foot), "I would like you all to finish the excellent feast and head down to your dormitories. Prefects, you may lead the way to your respective dormitories. Heads, please see me for a quick word before you're off. Good night and good luck on starting another wonderful year!" He ended.
Benches scraped as they were collectively pushed back. Everyone got up, tummies full and happy. I had to walk against the crowd to the High Table where Professor Dumbledore was sitting. He was intently conversing with Potter, so I decided to wait far, far away from them. From the other side of the room, Avery started walking towards me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his smirking face, and became more disheartened about working with him this year. Seriously, what a lousy year I will have for sure, tortured by Potter and Avery.
"Hey Evans," came the unpleasant drawl of Avery.
I threw him a dirty look.
"Heard you'll be working with me this year," he continued.
No shit, fatso. But if I hadn't wanted the Head Girl position since second year, I'd ditch working with you any second. I gave him a look trying to convey all this.
Thankfully, Dumbledore finished his conversation with Potter, and spotted us waiting for him. While he was walking towards where Avery and I were standing, I chanced a look at Potter. And guess what he was doing.
Guess.
Seriously, just guess!
…
No, you're wrong. He wasn't smirking at me, or sending me flying kisses, or ruffling his hair at me. He was actually frowning at me. That's right, ladies and gentlemen; James Potter looked at me and frowned.
Now, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
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"We have to do something about it!" Julie declared when I finally entered the seventh year girls' dormitory. At first, I was too exhausted to comprehend whatever she was talking about.
So, "mhwaa" was my reply.
"Was that a yes or a no?" Julie persisted.
"Mhwaahwaa," I said again as I collapsed onto my bed.
Alice took up now. "C'mon Lily, we need to do something about it. You of all people should feel the need to."
GODDAMMIT, I MIGHT IF YOU TELL ME WHAT 'IT' IS!! Man, I was too tired after a day full of catching up to trains, chasing Lily-liking toads, bumping my head on tables, and finding out that my stalker-person is the Defense teacher for the whole next year! So after all this, I was rewarded with a slap upside the head for my apparent "stupidity". Have I mentioned how unsupportive my friends are?
But yeah, the slap woke me up.
"What! What?" I asked stupidly.
Julie rolled her eyes at me. "James Potter is back. As our professor."
I looked at her with confusion. "Yes, I think we established that already during dinner."
"And we – you – have to do something about it."
Oh. So that's what 'it' is. Hmm.
Okay, at first, I admit doing something sounded alluring. We could, I don't know, get him kicked out and permanently out of my life! What a beautiful thought!
BUT, doing something would probably require spending time with Potter. And no, I don't think anything is worth that.
And that's what I told Julie and Alice. And they disagreed. Great.
"Don't you want to know why he's here?" Julie countered.
"Don't you want to get him fired?" Alice piped up.
"Don't you want to – "
"STOP!!" I yelled, cutting them both off. "I get it! You want me to do something about it!"
Julie and Alice collectively sighed. "Glad we finally got through her thick head."
I scowled. "Fine. What is it that you idiots had in mind?"
Sigh. I wish I hadn't given in so easily. I had no idea what I was surrendering myself to.
"So," Julie started. "We have it all figured out. The only way to get anything out from him – "
" – and to get him out – " Alice butted in.
" – is for you to seduce him."
You can expect my reaction after that. "WHAT?!?!"
Alice glared at Julie and quickly amended their argument. "What Julie means is," (another dirty look from Alice to Julie), "you should pretend to seduce him, but in reality, you're just getting information out of him."
"And if he actually yields to you, then you can report him and get him out of here!"
My response: Blink.
Julie sighed in exasperation. "And knowing the history between you two, he will yield to you easily. So it won't take you long to finish your job."
I blinked again in response, hoping against hope that this is a dream. My friends aren't such retards, are they? No. No, no, NO. This is not sounding nice at all.
Alice tried again: "Think about it, Lily! He's always torturing you. Now you get to torture him. He knows what yielding to you will cost him!"
"Yeah, go get revenge, girl!" Julie egged me on.
OOH…put in this perspective, the plan sounds alright… Well, okay, the course of action, not so much. But the consequences looked yum-my. Scrumptious, in fact.
Revenge…!!
"I'LL DO IT!" I yelled loudly, causing Julie and Alice both to wince. Poor them, my responses tonight seem to be limited to blinking and yelling.
I think I saw them two exchange a secret smile. But they resumed normal faces in the shortest period of time. Julie quickly said, "Okay, now go take an extra-long, super-hot, much-deserved shower. You can use my special essence shampoo!!"
Damn, that girl knew how to placate me. All thoughts of secret smiles zoomed out of my head. I immediately bounced off my bed, grabbed the first towel I saw, and jumped into the shower.
Bliss, here I come!
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Now…out of Lily's mind, and into the Gryffindor 7th year girls' dormitory…
"God, that woman is so hard to convince," muttered Alice.
"Yeah, I think we only managed to do it because she's tired out of her mind!" Julie agreed.
Alice gave Julie a look. "You almost ruined it for us, you poopoohead. You don't utter the word 'seduce' in Lily's presence. At least, not when she is the one that's supposed to be seducing."
Julie scowled. "How she can be so conservative when she is friends with us, is beyond my mind."
They giggled together. "Hopefully, she'll warm up to James this year!" Alice said, a little too loudly.
"SHHH!" Julie warned. "She'll hear us…" (No, Lily was too busy enjoying her bliss in the shower.)
"Although…I still wonder why James is here…"
"Pish, we put Lily on the case, it's okay!" Julie said, bouncing on her bed.
They giggled again like little girls on a mission. Well, that they were, sort of.
"And soon, we'll have – "
" – Lily falling for James – "
" – and in a year or two – "
" – little green-eyed, black-haired babies running around!" Julie finished, laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"It's bound to happen!" Alice said, much in the same state as Julie.
"Playing with little brown-haired, blue-eyed ones!" Julie said, with a glint in her eyes. She was, of course, referring to the relationship between Alice and Frank Longbottom.
Alice blushed deeply. "And what about you, Miss Penchant?" she asked, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.
Julie just shrugged. "I'll wait a few years. That way, you kids can be older and protect my kids. 'S all good!"
And so they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before undertaking the impossible: getting Lily out of the bathroom.
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Back into dear Lily's mind…
I didn't sleep too well that night. Come on, would you? I'm supposed to be stalking and trying to "seduce" someone who has done just that to me for the past year and a half. Basically, I'm supposed to switch roles with James Potter.
Fiddlesticks.
At breakfast the next morning, we got our schedules for the year. Potions first, then Arithmancy, then Herbology. Insert lunch here. After lunch is Charms (my favorite), then Transfiguration (my least favorite), and lastly is Defense (shudder…this may become my new least favorite).
I turned to Julie and Alice. "So what do I do?" I asked them , for I had absolutely no idea as to what I should do to get Potter to fall for me.
They looked at me as if I was stupid. "Um, it's 8 in the morning, and you normally eat breakfast."
"Would you like us to demonstrate?" asked Alice, feigning concern.
I whacked them both on their arms. "You know what I'm talking about."
They smirked at me, like co-villains or something. And that pissed me off a little. It's not fair. How can they both gang up on me like this and make me do such atrocities? I need at least one person on my side!
"Well, first, you stop wearing such conservative clothes inside your robes," Julie responded.
"Conservative! I'm wearing a T-shirt and jeans! We're supposed to be wearing long-sleeved sweaters and floor-length skirts. Conservative, my butt!"
Apparently, I'm wrong. "But you need to wear clothes with more … ooopmf!" Julie explained.
I started blankly at them. "Ooompf?"
They both nodded. "Ooompf." Alice confirmed.
Oh thank you, Alice darling, that makes it so much clearer! Now I totally know what you're talking about. So I gave them a look.
"You know…show more leg, more cleavage."
"If McGonagall sees me in – " I started.
But Julie cut me off. "If you want to succeed in your mission, you need to listen to us. If not, this'll go down in history as the first thing Lily Evans failed."
I told you, this girl knows exactly what to say to me. I like a clean record. No failures…even if it is in such shitty things as a mission to seduce Potter.
I hung my head in defeat, and sighed. "Then what?" I asked pitifully.
"A mini-skirt and a shirt that shows some breast, okay?"
Sigh. "Okay."
And then, Potter entered the Great Hall. Immediately, Julie gasps and practically screams, "OH MY GOD! THERE HE IS!" while very blatantly pointing at him. I may normally be very embarrassed due to these childish actions, but this time, half the Hogwarts population were doing the same. At least Julie wasn't standing up to get a better ogle at Potter, like most of the other girls were doing. See, what'd I tell you? James Potter has a reputation like that…even if he is a professor, he'll have half the Hogwarts girls crushing on him.
The other half usually crushed on Sirius Black. Stupid Marauders.
Julie poked me, bringing me back from my thoughts. "Go on, wink at him!"
I was mortified at the prospect of winking at Potter. But Alice soon came to my rescue. She swatted at Julie, and said to me, "Not that fast! He'll be suspicious if you wink at him. Just smile at him … NOW!"
As soon as Alice muttered "now", I attempted a small smile. I think my face ended up sporting a gross grimace. At least, that's what I gathered from the glared on Julie and Alice's faces.
And that made Julie fed up of my failure-ness. "Lily, Lily, Lily …" she started, which made me cringe and cradle my head in my arms. "Don't think of this as seducing James Potter. Just think of this as … a very hard Arithmancy problem. Yeah, that's it!" Julie's eyes sparkled with pride at her quick thinking. Actually, she seemed a bit surprised at herself for thinking of such an ingenious metaphor. Anyway. "So what do you do first with an Arithmancy problem? Lay out all your givens, knowns, and unknowns. What do you know? That James Potter has been trying to get you since fifth year. That James Potter is a sucker for skin. That getting close to James Potter means getting access to lots of information, and having him at your mercy practically assures good grades for us in Defense – "
At this point, I opened my mouth to argue that grades this year hardly matter. Our NEWT scored are far more important.
But Julie, stupid girl that she is, already knew that I was going to say that. She basically knows me inside and out. So she kept talking louder and ignored my look of outrage upon being ignored.
" – AND BEST OF ALL, you would have the power to get James Potter kicked out … then, you, Lily, can finally have the peace and quiet you've wanted since fifth year."
MUST. RESIST. TEMPTATION. TO. BELIEVE. JULIE. IS. RIGHT.
I snuck a look at Alice, who was vigorously nodding her head in accordance to what Julie was saying. Julie continued, "So now, you will stare that idiot down. If he looks at you – which, mind you, he will – give him a sweet smile. Potter liked you for your sweetness, so he'll like a saccharine smile from you more than a seducing one."
Wait a minute, how does this girl know the details of Potter's supposed love for me? I still refuse to believe he even likes me that way. He only asked me out as a prank. And now that he's a professor, he's going to just try to fail me, or get me into trouble, or something equally grueling. He knows how to push my buttons, all right.
So I stared at him. Well… "stared" in the sense that I looked in his general direction every few minutes, when Alice or Julie reminded me to. And not once did I catch him looking at me.
What was going on with this boy? He's almost a different man …
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A/N: I promise, I'll update in a few days this time (maybe even tomorrow!!) Review and give me something to think about.
ps. I'm about to register for courses as a freshman in college…any advice??
