…. Heeeey guys! I am SO sorry for making you wait for this long! I know no excuse I can offer you will really make up for it but I hope you'll forgive me eventually. I kicked my own butt this week so I could finish this chapter for you before the clock strikes 12 here in Denmark and we go into 2014! This unfortunately means that I have not had the time to edit the chapter what so ever – like I haven't even read through it yet as I post this – so please bear with me. There's most likely gonna be some grammatical and spelling mistakes so yeah. If I find too many mistakes when I read through this later, I might go back and edit it through when I get the time I'm hoping the four pages of pure Klaroline will make up for it ;)
Before the chapter I would just like to thank my incredible beta Jessica (LitLover 101) because she's just been amazing. And even if she didn't get to edit this chapter I still think she's incredible! Also thanks to being really encouraging and helpful! Oh and thanks for Arthika for listening to my endless rants about this story and helping me out with ideas and stuff ;)
And also a MASSIVE thank you to Cindy aka klaroline-fantasies on Tumblr for the cover! Not only is it great but this story also received a lot of new followers and reviewers from the cover being posted to Tumblr! ;D
Okay, enjoy!
Soundtrack: Leave Out All The Rest – Linkin Park, Untitled 7 – Sigur Rós.
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else care
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?
- Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park
Day 0, October 12th 2012
When Caroline had finished saying her goodbyes to Bonnie, she shut the front door and walked back into the mansion. It was only now that she realized how different everything looked. Earlier she had been too preoccupied with the fact that Klaus was lying upstairs dying to see the state that the once so fancy house was now in.
All art had been removed from the walls, leaving them bleak and naked. All furniture, big as well as small, were covered in white sheets – most likely to prevent dust from ruining them. Every step she took, every breath that blew from her lungs seemed to echo throughout the house, sending every sound back at her in an eerie whisper. The blonde felt goose bumps rise on her arms, a chill running down her spine.
She thought back to when she had last visited the mansion; it had been shortly after graduation. Klaus had gone back to New Orleans and Rebekah had left for Europe with Matt, leaving the house empty and oh so inviting. She still wasn't sure why she had even gone. To get answers, perhaps, because she couldn't for the life of her figure out what could be so important that the Mikaelsons would just leave it all behind and finally leave Mystic Falls after over a year of the gang trying to get rid of them. Why now?
Caroline sighed as she stepped into the kitchen, steering towards the fridge. She found a few leftover blood bags at the back of one of the shelves in it and took one out. She rummaged through the cabinets until she found a mug which she poured the blood into before placing it inside the microwave.
The blonde chanced a glance around the kitchen, only realizing then that she had never actually stepped foot inside the kitchen before. She had been many other places in the house but never the kitchen – not that she could see any reason why she should've been in there earlier. It was big – her own could probably fit in there three or four times. All the cabinets and counters were made of dark cherry wood and the counter tops were of marble. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen, providing even more counter place and the fridge was a huge steel, double fridge. There were a couple of bar stools at one end of the kitchen island and a small dining table with four chairs in the corner of the room but it was clear that no one usually ate in there.
The microwave dinged, reminding Caroline why she was even in the room in the first place. Grabbing the mug, she headed out back into the hall and up the stairs, only hesitating when she stopped outside the bedroom she had left somewhere around 10 minutes prior.
She stretched her ears to listen. When had he turned off the water? She figured that it had to have been sometime when she was standing in the kitchen, deep in thought. She had heard him turn on the shower when she was walking down the stairs with Bonnie but could not recall hearing him turn it back off.
Caroline bit down on her lower lip, fighting to keep her head on straight as she wondered if it would be safe to knock. She swallowed hard as the thought of Klaus with just a towel wrapped around his hips. She had seen him shirtless once before but still … for some reason she felt like it had been different then.
"You can come in, sweetheart."
Caroline startled as she hadn't realized how long she had actually been standing outside the door, contemplating. A blush blossomed on her cheeks but she quickly tried to brush off the embarrassment at him catching her standing outside his door. She turned the door handle and hesitantly walked inside.
Klaus stood smiling at her as she stepped in, obviously amused by catching her just standing outside his door. He was glad in his usual attire, a grey Henley and a pair of black slacks. The trademark necklaces peaked out of the shirt and his hair was still damp from the shower.
Caroline drew in a shaky breath and tried to remember why she had even been standing outside that door to begin with. She looked down, noticing the mug in her hand. Quickly recovering, she stuck her hand out towards him, offering him the blood. "I figured you might be a little hungry after, you know, almost dying and all," she mumbled, chancing a glance at him through her thick lashes.
He offered her a soft smile as he accepted the cup with a "thank you".
Caroline stepped over to the bookshelf she had barely noticed earlier and absently ran her fingers over the back of a few of the ancient books. She could feel his eyes on her but didn't dare turn around. She wasn't really sure say. It had been months since they last talked, almost half a year since they last saw each other and still she felt this incredible warmth spreading inside her, even just from feeling his eyes on her. It wasn't right, she knew that, but how much longer could she deny it? Then again, she thought, he's probably already forgotten about what he said on graduation. Letting him in will only get you hurt.
She shook her head and asked the one question that had been running through her mind ever since she received that call from him earlier that evening. "So what happened to you?" She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye but she still didn't turn around.
She heard his feet shuffling against the floorboards behind her as he shrugged and went over to look out the big windows overlooking the garden that was currently covered in golden leaves. "A small feud with some angry witches," he told her in a nonchalant tone close to indifferent. "Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head with."
Caroline narrowed her eyes at his dismissiveness and finally turned back to him, taking a step closer as she spoke again, her voice rising a bit. "No, I think I do," she argued, crossing her arms defiantly and staring at the back of his head. "Whatever 'small feud' you had with these witches, it almost got you killed and ergo almost killed me and my friends too!"
Klaus tensed slightly at her words but else he didn't make any effort to respond.
She scoffed and threw her arms out in a wild gesture. "Are you serious?" she exclaimed, suddenly growing angry. "You're really not going to tell me anything?"
At that he turned back towards her in a quick motion. "No sweetheart, I'm not," he growled and pointed a finger at her with the hand he held the mug with. "Trust me, it's for your own good. You don't want to know."
Caroline shook her head in annoyance. "Unbelievable!" She grabbed the comforter on his bed and pulled at it violently, trying to make the bed look like it had when she first put him in it. She wasn't sure why she was even doing him the favour of making his bed, but she needed to occupy herself, think of something else. She couldn't let herself focus on the frustration and anger she was feeling towards him.
"Caroline," Klaus sighed. He ran a hand down his face and closed the space between them, setting down the mug on the way. He gently tugged her hands away from the bed and turned her around, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Caroline swallowed hard as she stared up into his big, blue eyes. She felt a shiver race down her spine as his hands made contact with her shoulders. She felt a fluttering in the pit of her stomach but quickly dismissed it. She wasn't supposed to feel this way about his proximity. She wasn't supposed to feel this after he left her for New Orleans and it had been months since she last heard from him. And she definitely wasn't supposed to care that she hadn't heard from him in months. No. She didn't have feelings for Klaus.
Still, Caroline felt her knees go weak as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She bit her lower lip nervously, studying his face carefully. He hadn't changed a bit since she saw him last. Then again, what did she expect? Wrinkles and grey hair? They didn't age anymore, after all, and it had only been a few months. What could change in just about 4 months?
A lot, a voice in the back of her mind reminded her. You of all people should know.
She bit down harder on her lip and fought the urge to close her eyes and lean into his touch. She would probably never admit it out loud but she had found herself missing him once or twice after he left for New Orleans. She had even caught herself wishing he had never left. Because as ironic as it sounded everything might've been easier, simpler then. She would've been safer.
"Klaus," she mumbled quietly as she stared into his eyes. She wanted to tell him something but she wasn't sure what to say. She briefly considered telling him what her and Bonnie had done earlier but quickly discarded that thought. Out of the question.
Klaus' fingers traced her jawline making her shiver slightly. His touch was so different from anything she had ever experienced. One part of her wanted to give in to it so badly while the other screamed at her to not let him in, to not trust him.
She opened her mouth just to say something to break the deafening silence that had descended upon them but was interrupted by the shrill ring of Klaus' phone. They had both been so lost in the moment that they nearly jumped at the unexpected interruption.
Caroline was thankful though. She wasn't sure what she would've allowed to happen had the phone not started ringing. Everything was one big mess inside her head and the proximity between her and Klaus was only clouding and confusing it further.
She swallowed hard as she stepped away from him, pushing down the disappointment that came with not feeling his touch against her skin anymore. "Well I should probably get home," she rambled nervously as she walked over to his desk. She picked up her cardigan that had been draped over the chair there and turned around to face him. "Wouldn't want my mom to get worried." Lie. Liz was working a nightshift so she wouldn't know if Caroline was home late.
Caroline moved towards the door, offering a slightly awkward smile to Klaus who was watching her every move, deliberately ignoring the still ringing phone. She was almost out the door when he opened his mouth making her halt.
"Caroline?"
She turned to face him, eyebrows raised slightly in question.
"Thank you for helping me today," he said sincerely, giving her a small smile of appreciation.
Caroline returned the smile, her face softening slightly. "Yeah," she replied quietly before giving a small nod and disappearing out of the house. It all felt like an ironic reenaction of the last time she helped him after Silas had gotten into his head. This time couldn't be any more different though and he wasn't even aware of that. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry. She just wanted to forget it ever happened.
Day 1, October 13th 2012
Caroline woke to the sound of quiet, strangled sobs. Her heavy eyes opened as a broken voice called out her name over and over again. She sat up, looking around. "Mom?" she called out in concern, running a hand through her messy hair.
She got up on her feet and wrapped a pink robe around her tiny frame as she walked to the door connecting her room to the hallway. Hesitantly she turned to door knob and immediately the sight of her mom hunched over on the floor by the front door caught her eyes. "Mom? Oh my God, what happened?" She found herself walking towards the sheriff with rushed steps in worry but then she caught sight of the blonde her mom was cradling in her arms and she stopped short.
Caroline swallowed thickly, suddenly unsure if she wanted to know what was going on. She started to feel lightheaded as she debated whether or not to step further forward to get a better look at the situation. Did she want to know? Because, oh god, she was had a feeling she already did but she was too afraid to actually look.
"Mom?" she tried a third time, this time only a broken whisper.
Liz didn't show any reaction to her daughter's approach nor do anything to acknowledge her presence. Instead she shifted her weight, drawing the lifeless blonde closer. The long, curly hair fell, revealing the empty face to the world.
In that moment, as recognition struck her, Caroline felt so utterly sick she thought she might collapse then and there. She clasped her hands over her mouth and took a step back, then one more until her back hit the wall and caused a picture to fall down and break. Tears welled up in her eyes and she shook her head violently. No.
"Caroline, oh please come back to me, Caroline," Liz cried out in despair, rocking the body cradled in her arms back and forth. And sure enough, there she lied in her mother's arms; Caroline Forbes, the forever 17 year old, was seemingly very much dead.
Caroline kept shaking her head, her eyes shut hard, the cries stifled by her hands as she tried to get a hold of herself. "I'm sorry, mommy," she choked out in a barely audible attempt to console her mother, who most likely could not even hear her. "I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to, I swear! Please forgive me, mommy!"
She was about to crawl over to her mother to throw her arms around her, just to let her know that she was right there with her, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. "It's no use, sweetie," came a gentle and all too familiar and missed voice.
Caroline's eyes snapped up and were met by the kind, blue ones of her father. "Daddy?" she gasped. New tears welled up, even as confusion hit her. "What are you doing here? Why can I see you? What is happening?"
Bill gave her a sad smile. "You're dead, sweetheart. You died last night."
Caroline woke with a start, a strangled sob escaping her and she looked
around. It had been a dream. A horrible dream, but a dream no less. She
let out a sigh of relief, her hands going to wipe the tears that had
seemingly rolled down her cheeks as she slept.
Her hands were shaking as she pulled back the covers, slowly sitting up in
bed. Noticing the clock on the nightstand she saw that it was just past 5
in the morning but she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore after that.
Caroline hesitantly walked out into the bathroom, deciding that a shower
was what she needed right then. She undressed and stepped into the shower,
turning on the water as she did. The shock of the cold water hitting her
sleepy body helped waking her up. She stood under the spray as the water
gradually turned warm, feeling her body relax more and more.
Her thoughts went to everything that had happened to her the past few weeks. From Jesse dying to what she went through after that to what she would now have to go through. It seemed like a never ending downwards spiral. Klaus coming back to town for however long that would last just seemed like the cherry on top. Like it wasn't enough to see the guy that she was maybe developing a small crush on get killed right in front of her eyes – by her best friend no less. Like it wasn't enough to go through all that Augustine crap that was now the reason why she hadn't been to college for 2 weeks. Like it wasn't enough having to lie to her mom about why she was even home.
Caroline let out an annoyed sound. Now she would have to lie even further about something way worse. She closed her eyes tightly, her fingers running through her hair as she washed out the shampoo in it. She would have to lie to everyone. If she had to tell anyone what she got Bonnie to do then it would mean she'd have to face the truth herself too. That she'd have to accept that it was her life now.
Caroline felt her hands shake as she applied conditioner into her hair. If she couldn't even accept it herself, how could anyone else? Just thinking of telling anyone was making her anxious. She wouldn't have the strength to comfort them or tell them that they'd find a way to fix it. Find a way around it. She would just break down and that would be of no use.
The devil and the angel on her shoulders both whispered in her ears that she needed to at least tell Klaus. No, she insisted desperately. No, if anything he was the one that owed her after what she did. No, she couldn't tell anyone that she …
Caroline's train of thoughts stopped at once as she started feeling like she was suffocating, drowning in the spray of water that had turned cold without her even noticing it. Her hands fumbled frantically along the wall until she found the nub there, turning off the water quickly. She didn't even bother grabbing a towel before she stumbled out of the shower and clutched the sink so she wouldn't fall. She was shaking all over as she looked up at herself in the mirror. It's gonna be okay, she tried convincing herself. We'll fix this. Everything will work out just fine.
She took deep breaths in and out to avoid hyperventilating, simply staring into her own eyes as she did. It seemed like she stood like that for a lifetime before she regained her composure and was able to wrap a towel around her body and walk back to her room. The screen of her phone lit up as she entered as if on cue, letting her know she had a new text message.
Caroline decided to get dressed first, not really up for responding to anyone's texts right now. So she dried off and brushed her hair before throwing on some underwear, a pair of dark denim jeans and a pink flow-y top. She put a soft yellow cardigan over it before walking over to her nightstand and picking up her phone. It was Bonnie who wanted to know if they could meet up at the Grill in about a little less than an hour.
It confused Caroline a bit given the fact that she had gone into her shower at 5 but as she looked at the clock now, she saw that it was almost 9 in the morning. How had nearly four hours passed without her noticing? Had she really been in the shower that long?
She shook her head in confusion and texted back a sure. Right as she hit 'send' the smell of slightly burnt bacon, eggs and warm blood hit her nostrils. Caroline furrowed her eyebrows in confusion given the fact that she was supposed to be the only person in the house at that time.
"Mom?" she called out as she clutched her phone tightly, walking out into the hall. …
Caroline breathes out a sigh of relief when she finds that it's just her mom cooking in the kitchen but then confusion hits her; Liz Forbes is cooking and she never cooks! "Um mom, what are you doing?"
"Good morning to you too," Liz replied, throwing her a look over the shoulder. "I'm making breakfast. Wanna join? I put some blood in the microwave for you."
Caroline stepped into the kitchen, leaving her phone on the counter. She was still eyeing her mother with confusion. "But … what are you doing home? I thought you weren't going to be home for another hour or so?" She walked over and grabbed the mug out of the microwave and sat down on a barstool.
Liz sighed, causing Caroline to furrow her brows in concern. "Yes well …" she paused for a long moment before speaking again with great sorrow, "one of the officers were killed last night." She noticed her daughter's face contort further in concern – this a different kind though – and quickly explained: "We were following up on a lead at the outskirts of town and one of our men got shot. Nothing supernatural was involved as far as we could tell."
Caroline nodded silently and took a small sip of her blood. "I'm sorry, mom," she sympathized. It wasn't often she saw her mother upset like this.
"Anyway," Liz sighed, trying to brush off her sadness like a Forbes would do. "I thought I'd make some breakfast so I could at least spend a few minutes with you before you have to go back to college."
The younger blonde bit her lip nervously and nodded. "Yeah," she answered absently. In reality she felt nowhere near ready to go back to college. Too much had happened there that she had yet to tell her mom about so of course she wouldn't understand. Her fingers twitched against the mug as she felt that same anxiety as before rise to the surface. She wasn't at all in a state where she could sit through a whole breakfast meal with her mom, lying straight to her face the whole time.
So just as Liz pulled out two plates to arrange the food, Caroline made a rash decision and shot up from her seat. "Um actually mom, I have to meet Bonnie at the Grill in a few minutes! Sorry, I promise I'll make up for it some other time!"
Before the older Forbes had time to even process what her daughter had said, she was grabbing her coat and running out of the house.
Caroline had barely arrived at the Grill when she heard someone drop into the barstool next to her. "Urgh, is it impossible to get just 5 minutes to myself today?" she groaned in annoyance.
Damon held up his hands in surrender before flagging down the bartender for a drink. "Easy there, Blondie! What has gotten you drinking at 10 am?"
"That's none of your business!" she snapped and downed her drink, grimacing a bit as the alcohol burned its way down her throat. "So you can go now."
Damon made a teasing pouty face as he took a drink of his scotch. "Aaw, come on Blondie, don't be like that!" He tried to smolder her with his eyes but just received a scoff and a roll of the eyes.
Caroline turned away from him in her chair in an attempt to ignore him and let her eyes scan over the Grill, searching out Bonnie with no results. She sighed and turned back to the new drink that had been placed in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Matt come into work. The second he saw her and noticed the drink in front of her his eyebrows shot up in question but she just averted her gaze and pretended she hadn't seen.
About half way through her third drink noise and loud greetings started spreading all throughout the large room. Caroline turned around in curiosity and froze in her seat. She faintly picked up Damon saying something along the lines of "When did he back in town?"
Everything stopped. Caroline felt like she couldn't breathe. And then slowly but surely a mad rage rose to the surface making her see red.
Dun dun duuun. Haha :P Can anyone guess who it is? Small hint: NOT Klaus.
Just to remind you, this story picks up about 4 months after graduation. It will NOT follow the storylines played out in season 5 of TVD and season 1 of TO but I will include elements they've introduced – just in my own way. Hopefully I'll get it all to make sense as the story progresses.
This is also why there are so many cryptic thoughts of Caroline's included in this chapter – sorry if it got annoying and if it did, please let me know! Don't worry, answers will come to all that and to the way Caroline is acting around Klaus and her mom – and of course why exactly she's having panic attacks.
I hope you liked the chapter! Please let me know what you thought in a review. Also, if you follow me on Tumblr, where I go under the same name as here, you can keep up to date with my progress on writing this story under the tags '365 Days fanfiction' or 'nicole writes' ;D
HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone, wherever you are in the world! And hello to those in Australia, Asia etc. who are already in 2014! How is it? :P I wish you all the best of luck for the new year! Stay safe and know that I love you all dearly! Seriously, the response to this story already has really blown me away!
x Nicole
Ps: I promise I won't take this long to give you a new chapter!
