Paperweight
Been up all night
Staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way
With so many before
But this feels like the first time
Unrequited love sucks.
Bridgette stuffed the photo underneath her mattress and sighed as she flopped onto her bed. That is perhaps her being a bit too dramatic, it is not exactly love, infatuation or a crush maybe- but not love, and she is positive it is one sided, whatever you want to call 'it'.
What she does know, is that she thinks' about him constantly. Always picturing situations where they'd bump into each-other- perhaps a co-incidence on holiday, a reunion, perhaps they have a common friend. But she knows it won't happen, just like she knows he surely won't be thinking of her.
Bridgette watches the white fan spin around, faster and faster, round and round, pushing the wind around her tiny room, cooling the air on her face. Why did it have to be so hot today?
Bridgette pushed the sheets at the foot of her bed, with her feet until they fell of. She spread her arms above her head and stretched her body as far as it would go. That felt good.
Bridgette wondered idly if she'd care about the heat, if he were here.
You want the sunrise
To go back to bed
I want to make you laugh
Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
No, probably not. She shifted to the left and tried to imagine him lying next to her. It is just fantasy and she knows she should just forget him and shake him of, get back to reality. But for some unexplainable reason she couldn't forget him, she was afraid to forget him.
She simply refused to.
Maybe it was because she wanted to keep that hope that maybe, one day they'd meet again and something would happen. She wasn't sure what, but she didn't care- anything really.
Bridgette grinned stupidly at thought and laughed out loud, the possibility of her some-how charming him- oh that was simply ludicrous she knew.
Every word you say I think
I should write down
I don't want to forget
Come daylight
But, sometimes, she thought it would best, that nothing happened. Keep it to dreams and unrealistic fantasies, where anything was possible.
Keep it where everything is simple and easy.
She also knew, that if they were to meet again, she'd be too afraid to actually say something. She wasn't exactly the boldest person in the world.
She is content to just lay here and dream, because the dreams are pleasant and not nerve-wracking. But then again, like on the surf, sometimes the best waves are the ones you make risks for.
However, now in this moment she'd just dream.
Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue
Bridgette shivered as she opened her eyes. Her fan still spinning above her, obviously she fell asleep with it on. Getting up, no longer feeling the need for it, Bridgette turned it of. Not noticing where she was going when she made her way back to her bed, Bridgette got a shock, when she stepped on something on the floor.
A small, snow-globe, paperweight.
A small smile spread on her features as she was instantly reminded of him. Every detail she memorized, his nice sculptured body, gentile smile and kind eyes, his manners, and his charm and-oh what an accent.
Back then she felt he could protect her and help her whenever she needed him. Almost like her, own white knight or prince charming even.
Bridgette looked to her clock- midnight. No longer tired or thinking logically she put on some sneakers and her blue hoodie and made her way outside. When the fresh air touched her face, Bridgette felt that a late night walk was exactly what she wanted.
Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket
Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
She reflected on him during Total Drama. She knew he was a jerk. She had watched, as he manipulated everyone, just to win. Maybe that was what drew her to him- he was the 'bad guy'.
Maybe she hoped it was all an act and that he wasn't a manipulative ass that enjoyed manipulating people for his satisfaction or maybe perhaps she though she could change him, somehow- perhaps she'd inspire him to change.
She knew it wasn't entirely impossible, as he was human after-all.
However, he was still a jerk, albeit a charming jerk, but that didn't change the fact that he was a jerk nor did it stop the fact that she was infatuated with him. It was inexplicable and she couldn't explain why- one could blame it on hormones, but that's the way things were.
One thing Bridgette liked about her suburb was that it was quiet. The roads were empty, which was good, because the sprinklers on the park-were on, so instead of sitting on the grass in the park, she sat in the middle of the road and thought about him.
Every word you say I think
I should write down
I don't to forget
Come daylight
And no need to worry
That's wastin time
And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you
It's you
The road was quite comfortable and here outside, Bridgette felt she had all the time in the world to d whatever she liked. She lay down and looked up at the expansive sky and mesmerizing stars- what she wanted to do was think about him.
Whether it was his eyes, smile, accent or body, he had her hooked.
He was addictive and she could not turn away from him. Like drugs, he wasn't good for her, but he made her fell dirty and wild. It drew her away from the nice girl persona.
Maybe that was it, cause sometimes being the nice girl sucked. Maybe he was a tantalizing taste of something bad. She knew he wouldn't be good for her, which was why in reality, nothing could never happen.
She'd never do anything that was bad for her.
Every word you say I think
I should write down
Don't want to forget
Come daylight
When she walked back into her room, Bridgette reached under her mattress and ripped up the photo and threw it into the waste-basket. She then picked up her snow-globe paperweight and also threw that into the basket.
But she knew it would be useless.
She'd never forget him. Because she can't have him- she would not allow it to happen and that thought would constantly haunt her and teases her in the back of her mind, and that's where he'd always be.
Always.
And I give up
I let you win
You win 'cause I'm not counting
You made it back
To sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming
Damn you Alejandro!
