{"Whisper" Noun: to speak with soft, hushed sounds using the breath.}
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"Find in love's
labyrinth what binds:
doubled threads,
knots of trials,
errors, options. Secure lines
back through hearts' recall"
:Ariadne's Thread
Chapter One- Whispers
Day:17.
Mako sat on the steps of Air Temple Island, finally being kicked out of Korra's healing room after endless days that rolled into weeks, in which her eyes stayed closed.
She was alive/ but not really. Caught in the middle/ her mind lost in the echo. Could she hear him in her dream-like state? Could she hear every murmmer and plead to wake up? Every sweet peck when he pulled his lips away from her hands?
Mako sighed, wearily, and pulled his collar up higher around his neck. Of course she couldn't because, It's over. For real this time.
The muggy weather was making his hair damp, and his head heavy, as if the gray fog were getting inside his mind, slowly turning it to mush. He knew he really should eat something- as his brother and Asami were persistent to order to him to do so, but to no avail. They just didn't understand. Mako stared at his hands- his useless hands.
Korra!
Korra! No, get away from her!
His rage-filled screams, flailing limbs, and blue fire. Bodies on the pavement. Bleeding skin, and yelling, and Bolin and Asami pulling him away, someone smacking him on the face to calm him down.
Korra!
The echoes of her screams, and the crack of her skull against the pavement.
The not-his-blood staining the creases of his hands. He had lost control, lost it, lost-
The rain sprinkling down like drum beats brought him back, and he took in slow, deep breaths.
His hands were shaking- his damn hands. He wanted to cut them off, he wanted-
No one understood. (Bro,eatsomething,youcan'tkeepstaringather,and itisn'thealthy,Makoyouhavetobepatient and ,it'snotyourfaultMako,areyoulisteningtome?) But he wondered, how could anyone eat, how could the world keep turning when his world had suddenly...
...stopped?
Behind him, a door opened; a wave of cold air hit him.
"Mako, come inside. You're going to get sick."
He wondered how he managed to fall apart, so much that his little brother had to tell him simple things because he had come to forget how to do them. Like eating. Or sleeping. Or breathing, because, Makocalmdownshe'sgonnabefinehavesomefaithinher.
The rain cried harder, thunder boomed and cracked across the sky, lightning illuminated the Island. The sky was crying for her, too. Maybe that was a good thing, because he had forgotten how to do that, too.
"Mako..." a hand shaking his shoulder.
What he didn't know how to say, was that that was kinda the point, because he deserved it.
He was too tired to argue. To tired to think, too tired, too tired. He wouldn't be able to wake until she did.
Wordlessly, he straitened up, and allowed Bolin to lead him inside.
"Come on. Let's get you dried off, big bro. Asami made some tea for everyone."
Minutes later, his brother is ordering him to take off his wet clothes, as he throws a fluffy white towel at his head. The towel smells like clean soap, and honey, and vaguely of a home from long ago.
Green eyes not meeting his own, Bolin takes Mako shirt, and scarf, and hangs it up on the line to dry, trying to get the water out.
Suddenly, he finds his mouth saying, "I'm sorry I've been...like this."
Bolin sighs, "It's not just you, you know." he says quietly.
"Not just me what?" he asks.
A few silent seconds pass, Bolin wringing the water out from the end of his scarf. Mako can feel something growing inside him.
"We're all worried about Korra, Mako-"
He doesn't know where the bite of anger comes from, but it's hot and hurtful, "Oh, really! Well, I've been visiting her everyday, staying by her bed. I've been changing her wet-cloths and water, and bandages, but now I can't because you guys kicked me out! I've been busting my ass, and what have you been doing besides making a fool out of yourself with your stupid mover!?"
Mako sees something flash in his brother's eyes for a moment-eyes like his father, stern when he misbehaved, but gentle in every other way- and for a moment, Mako thinks Bolin might actually yell at him. But he doesn't because Bolin never yells, because he's always been the one to quench Mako's anger. Mako sees his brother push anger and resentment down, down like he pushes and moves his earth. Bolin takes a deep breath, hurt and pain in his face, and Mako feels horrible.
"Bo- Bo, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean that. I mean, I know you've been trying to help, and I- that was just-"
Mako freezes when Bolin holds up a hand to silence him. His brother looks him straight in the eyes now. "We all love her, Mako. Just in different ways. And sometimes, showing love, is letting someone else be closer to her when they really need to be, and knowing when it's your time to comfort."
Mako opens and closes his mouth. He swallows, painful.
Bolin finishes folding his clothes, puts them on the table, and starts walking away.
"Bolin...Bo, I-"
"You should get some tea while it's still hot. We made your favorite." he whispers, and the door is shut.
Mako wipes his hand across his face, and wonders why she had to break every and all parts of him.
"Yes, I am well aware of the situation, Captain Goaling," Tenzin replied into the phone receiver, rubbing the crease in between his eyebrows, "We are taking all precautions against the riots caused by the Spirits-"
The angry voice on the phone yells to try harder, because people in the Earth Kingdom are not afraid to attack Spirits, and take human lives of so- called 'Spirit- supporters.' Things are getting out of hand!
"Sir, with all due respect," Tenzin remarks, "the world has just went through a great change- Spirits and humans alike. I know you take pride in your Nation, but this is the whole world that has been effected-"
A bitter snort, "The 'whole world'? Well, my Nation is my whole world, sir. But I assume you wouldn't be able to understand that, being one out of the four of your kind does bring a sense of community," he barked. The sarcasm was not missed. And it was all Tenzin could do not to cause a windstorm, "But mark my words, monk. If your forces don't take action, mine will, by my orders!"
The phone hummed silent.
Tenzin could feel his face heating with anger, as he pushed his feelings aside with some calming, meditative breathes.
"Spirits, help us," he prayed.
Mako stopped at the end of the hall, his eyes darting left, then, right, feet posed to sprint. Old habits told him to be on guard, but for what, he wasn't sure. For certainly she was safer away from him, then him being near. Against his better judgement, and dying need for some sleep, he crept along the edge of the hall, not daring to make a sound. Surely if anyone saw him, he would be reprimanded, and forced to leave. Whether she was comatose or not, being in her room at three in the morning was sure not to sound as justified as it did in his head. And by how he looked-blood shot eyes, and stubble-dusted face- he knew he probably looked just as broken as his heart.
As soon as he saw the cost was clear, he made a dash for her room. He didn't care what anyone said, no body was keeping him away from her.
The door creaked open just a little too loudly, and he held his breath. Yue must have been looking out for him, for no Acolytes, or White Loatus Guards, nor healers, sat attending to her. Mako vaguely wondered if this odd absence of attendance was good or not; if she was becoming well enough to breath on her own, or...he wouldn't let his mind think of the opposite alternative.
How could he be doubtful still, he told himself, when she looked like this? She was beautiful, he thought, even in her frozen state. How the moonlight streaking in from the window highlighted the curve of her jaw, and the flyaways in her hair. Her breathing was like a heartbeat from her open lips; steady and yet frail, quiet, but unyielding. He lived by the raise and fall of her chest, needing to make sure she was still in there, still fighting.
He came over with shaky legs, and plopped down on a chair, wearily. It was funny, in a painful kind of way; he had only been away from her for a few hours, but even that short separation seemed like years compared to the endless days that he had stayed by her side. Now that he was here again, it was as if he was seeing her frail state for the first time once more, and he forced the pit in his stomach down.
They said she would be fine-just fine, Pema's words rang in his ears, all we have to do is wait, dear.
But it's been two weeks, how can they-
Mako, Pema's hand on her shoulder, so hopeful, so motherly, believe in the healers' words. But more importantly, believe in Korra. She wouldn't leave without a fight, let alone leave you.
Now that he had left, and seen the world that was the outside of her room, it was if everyone and everything around him was changing, but he was the same. Frozen in time at the moment she fell, not being able to move again until he saw her eyes open once more.
He let out a shaky breath he didn't even know he was holding, and dared to clench her fingers in his. He drew back almost instantly. Cold- they didn't feel like Korra's. Korra's hands were warm, full of life. They were callused, the skin cracked from summer days in the dirt, and pruny from the too-long showers she always took at the same time every night. They were small, but held the world. More importantly his world, and fit right in his perfectly.
"They say you're going to be fine- just fine," he whispered. The air leaving his lungs caressed her face, sounding like love as it fell from his lips, "I think your impatiences is rubbing off on me,". he rubbed his nose and gave a weak chuckle. "Bolin used to say I was so patient that I'd wait a billion years for something if I wanted it hard enough, and I guess- no, I know that's why I'm still sitting here."
A slight wind picked up and ruffled the curtains, causing a shiver to run through his still slightly damp clothes. He pulled the covers over her tighter, smoothing out her hair.
"Pema said-" he swallowed and whipped his face, "She told me to believe in you- and trust me, that's all I've ever done since I fell in love with you. I believed that you were the one for me, I believed that you'd save the world from Vattuu, I believed- I still believe..."
"I don't know what to believe anymore, okay, Kor?" he says to her, as if somehow, she will playfully hit his arm, smile and say, hey, cool guy, lighten up. You got us, don't you? but she still doesn't move. For a second he stops breathing because he thinks he didn't see her chest raise up,down, up, down, up, but he realizes that it's his own throat that's tight. "Without you, there's nothing...And I don't even deserve you...," He focuses on heating up her fingers, rubbing them in his palms,"I'm so used to protecting people. I mean, that's-that's who I am. Who we are."
"You're the most loyal, brave, and selfless person I've even known. I can't imagine my life without you in it," and he whispers these broken bits of love to her until daybreak, because that's all he can do for right now. He whispers and waits and believes for the both of them, but maybe, just maybe, she can whisper back.
