"Everyone has to go."
Those words belonged to my stepdad, Sam, when Ryan and Hayden decided among themselves to stay home while mom and Sam flew me out to LA. The reason behind this was mostly due to a party they had probably planned to throw while everyone was away. Parties usually were never thrown at the house when mom and Sam were out, usually from the fear of me tattling. I couldn't care less what they did, like everyone else; they pushed me in a corner and made me invisible. I wasn't their favorite person in the world, as them to me. Mom had tried various attempts to help us get along, all of which failed terribly. She gave up after a long while of persistent attempts and just accepted it.
Sam saw right through their scheme and demanded everyone go. My poor mother got one hell of a shock when Ryan and Hayden moved in. She never really got the teen angst gilt with me, but as if she was living with another grown up. With Hayden and Ryan she got a mouth full.
We woke up bright and early on Wednesday morning. The sunrise dashed streaks of orange and pink behind the neighborhood houses outside, glowing like a painting from heaven. The late summer air was chilly in Minnesota that morning as I helped Sam drag our luggage to the car. His, moms, Ryan, and Hayden's were all light and small for they were only staying for three days. Today did not count as it was a travel day and most of it would be getting me checked in to the university and moving my stuff in. We had a tour scheduled for after lunch around the campus and were going to explore the area around the school after. The plan was for me to get as comfortable as I could in one day with area so I wouldn't get lost.
Class started on Monday, so I had four days to get unpacked and prepared before jumping right in after the weekend. I'll admit I was nervous to be on my own. But half of my school career consisted of me being alone with only one person. But now I was leaving that one person, and though she wasn't going to be, I was all alone now.
Since I barely owned anything, a few previous days before mom and I had gone to UPS to ship boxes of my possessions to the college. It was either that or bringing them with us on the airplane, and I did not feel like lugging a dozen boxes with me through the airport.
Sam grunted as he punched a bag into a crevice in the trunk, filling every inch of the space with luggage. Even though the bag didn't even move after all that punching, he had enough and slammed the trunk door, clapping his hands together as if rubbing of the work from them.
"There we go," he said, "all packed up and ready to go."
"Great," I said, faking a smile in the early morning hour. To be honest I was exhausted. With my constant methods to fall asleep, wearing myself down to the bone until I was a zombie, some nights I just couldn't sleep. I was excited to finally be leaving, get my own life and use the money I've been saving since sophomore year. I was going to start my life now, the road to a better future, to right the wrong I was born into. My mom had done everything for me, and i could never make that up to her. Now it was my turn to at least help her by leaving and sending back whatever I make out of my career.
It was stupid of me to fret over moving to LA in the risk that I would run into James. Los Angeles was huge! Even though I may be living in the same city as him, it doesn't even give a slight chance I'd run into him randomly on the streets. The stress was not worth it nor was any part of my mind. I had other things to worry about then whether or not I might see James again.
Hayden and Ryan filed out, Sam behind them as he ushered the two teens, both glued to their technology screens, out the door and into the car.
"Do we have everything?" My mother fussed as she looked around as if she'd find something missing on the neighbors roof. "Luggage? The kids? Keys?"
"Honey clam down," Sam soothed to her, "we have everything. All we need right now is for you to get into the car."
My mother pursed her lips, no doubt trying to construct a valid argument. Rendering useless with each tick of the time, she hefted a breath and walked down the front porch steps towards the SUV.
As everyone filled the car, getting cozy for the hour trip to the state airport, I remained planted in my spot by the car door, immersing my childhood home. I was born into the house, experiencing first stages of life in it. Everything that I've gone through; childhood tantrums, my dad leaving, and all remaining aftermath of that. It's all been experienced through the home mom struggled most of my life to keep. Every lonely tear that escaped through my eyes in my room, the lightly sobs I kept to myself on those nights. While downstairs my mom was shedding a pair of her own. Every moment I had with the cold metal biting my wrist, threatening to leave my life. All those moments that felt so blissful, those moments that made up for staying alive. That made those lonely nights praying to die seem stupid and unnecessary. Showing that the razors spoke lies to me and I was worth living. Almost every moment with James.
From the cracks in the ceilings, to the plaster on the walls. A new coat of paint on the house and shutters, red curtains fluttering from the ceiling fan spinning inside the house. The house I breathed all my life into. I was leaving it all behind now, to create my own life. To have a house of my own to bring as much life and memories into as this one held. I may never come back to this house, may never visit it again though I would love to hope I would return. But God has a plan, and whether or not that path leads me back here or forever gone, im going to follow it.
Since California was behind Minnesota time, I was able to relive noon twice. This was totally irrelevant and was not even that exciting.
Most of the plane trip was boring as I was too tired to do anything. I dozed in and out of consciousness the entire time with only the faint tapping of Hayden's faux pressed nails against the screen of her IPhone buzzing in my ears. Mom was passed out next to me, her head lolling to the side in a hazard the cart will smack her in the head when the Stoutest came by offering food and beverages. I was crammed in the middle of the two women, keeping my elbows tucked at my side and staying in the small little human ball I usually was in.
We landed in LAX airport just before noon and joined the swarm of people in a mad rush around the airport. Collecting our luggage, we found our reserved taxi that was called in two weeks in advance and began our journey to LA University.
During lunch time, the traffic was even worse than usual, as the taxi driver explained. The cars legitimately did not move for an hour as they cursed at each through horns and the rolled down glass windows of their porches and Mercedes bends.
As we moved through the city of Los Angeles, I couldn't help but ogle at the passing scene through the grimy window as we moved past them. I was completely infatuated with it, unable to tear my eyes away from every visible piece of the city. People dream of coming here. Some spend their whole lives trying to get there, whether it be to strive and make it big, or just to see it. Some will never make it and die trying. Some will get to go at the first shot. Considering a few years ago where I was, not being able to have a full on Sweet 16. Not being able to experience a real birthday party as me and mom suffered most of my life. To be poor and experience what we had gone through. My eyes were only on the prize; to go to college and have a better future for myself. I would have never guessed I would be able to do what I wanted, what I dreamed of, and live in the city most people never will ever get to experience.
The taxi pulled up in front of a huge piece of lawn scapped with green grass as if someone had colored it with a crayon. Beyond its large scale of lawn, the main building of the school sat down on a large slab of concrete.
Students of all depths, including puny freshmen and sophomores getting out of their teens, to full grown men with beards and muscles. They all mixed together as they arrived in fancy cars, some even having servants carrying their stuff to their dorms. I felt awkward arriving with my family stuffed into an ugly yellow taxi, but I calmed down when I noticed the line of bee colored cars lining the front of the school also.
I stepped out of the taxi into the hot California sun. It was odd to be this warm considering I was freezing only hours before in Minnesota in the same outfit combo: jeans, a white tank top and long black cardigan.
Everyone else filed out of the taxi and began removing our belongings from the trunk. Since our schedule was a bit packed and Los Angeles streets held a lot of traffic, it was best decided upon that my family stow their luggage in my dorm room until later that night when they left me on my own. I had no fight against it as I knew any argument would be vetoed. And plus I didn't care. I was in California for school, starting the life I had planned for as long as I could remember. Not even my ex-boyfriend could ruin the moment.
As the taxi pulled away, we started walking towards the main building. I squeezed in the middle of my family, trying to hide behind the other to go unnoticed without seeming suspicious. It went well until I tripped on a crack and fell forwards into my current hiding spot, which happen to by Ryan, and took him down to the concrete with me.
"Oof!" he grunted as I fell on top of him. His phone, which was glued to his face since we left, skidded a few inches away from his spread out form. A deep red filled my face as a sickening feeling churned in my stomach. I quickly scurried up as everyone stopped and looked at us and the following actions.
"Remy! Ryan! Are you guys okay?" My mother fretted as she came over to us.
"Yeah I'm fine," I stammered, feeling sick. Ryan got up and retrieved his phone without saying a word to my mom or me, making me feel even more horrible.
"It's alright honey," my mom whispered in my ear as she put her arm around me and tugged me off as we followed Sam and my step siblings. The first day at a new school and I already made myself look like an ass.
We went to the administrators and got the required paperwork that was needed; schedule, dorm number. All we had to do now was find our way around the maze that the school was laid out as.
With about an hour to kill before the tour started, Sam decided it was best if we found my dorm room first to drop off our stuff, and so we will have an idea where it was. Tonight when we got back it wouldn't be such a hassle for us to go around and find it. I agreed, only because I had no better option and followed after their lost trails. As we walked, my family conversed in a friendly related topic of the school and attempted to keep me in on it. I tried to ignore them, to block them out, but my mom kept asking me questions and for my opinion. I usually would just nod or shake my head to agree or disagree. I really had no set opinions on anything yet. I wasn't really worried about anything. I had been waiting for this moment forever and now I'll finally be able to live it, to do it. Like I said, nothing could damper my mood. Of course, anything but the new problem that surfaced. The new problem my mother just sparked up.
"So Remy," my mother said causally, carrying on the conversation. "Do you have any idea who your new roommate is?"
