Disclaimer: Square (or is it Square Enix) characters again. And a few lyrics from a Van Halen song. And a partial Calvin and Hobbes homage.
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"Please stop laughing, Selphie. I fail to understand what you can possibly find so comical about this situation." After a very frustrated Quistis let Irvine retreat to the safety of his dorm, she noticed that it was well after two pm. Having missed lunch, she looked at the reports waiting on her desk with a very distinct feeling of dread. Food would have to wait until those were graded. Grabbing a red pen and a few reports, she decided to meet Rinoa and Selphie for a quick coffee break and grading session in the quad.
A few minutes later, she was beginning to regret this decision, as Selphie Tilmitt seemed determined to both prevent any actual work and to set women's rights back two centuries.
"Oh! And here's another one! They could write a movie for you Quisty! I'm sure they can think of a part for a sexy whip-wielding blonde dominatrix! Or you could be the kinky teacher that really has to enforce the rules! Hee, hee!" A yellow blur was all that could be seen as Selphie danced and twirled around her girlfriends. 'I got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, wha-wha-wha-wham! I'm hot for teacher!' The impromptu serenade left the impish girl panting as she collapsed on the bench next to Rinoa "Woo hoo! This is so much fun. I'll ask Irvy to let me do a cameo. I wonder if I can walk a poodle by your hotel room, like that creepy old director used to do? Except I can do it naked! In heels! The poodle can wear heels too! Oh, oh! It's too much! Do you think they'll let me write your lines for you?" Selphie giggled as she dodged an empty coffee cup hurled by a less-than-amused Quistis.
Rinoa watched the exchange with a mixture of concern and amusement in her deep brown eyes. She couldn't decide whether to burst into laughter at Selphie's atrocious singing or slap her for siding with her cowboy boyfriend. Seeing Quistis cover her face with her hands, she decided to break through the stream of Selphie-speak before the attack could begin anew. "Come on, Selphie. She's just worried about the reputation of B-Garden. I can't say I'm surprised about Zone and Irvine making the jump from magazines to naughty movies, but they should really know better. Just ease up on Quisty a bit. This could affect that promotion she's worked so hard to achieve. Remember that she defended his proposal when Xu was ready to deny it. You know, it really did seem like a good idea at the time, but..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. But she gets so wound up about these things." Selphie leaned over Rinoa to face Quistis with her very best glare. "Quistis Trepe, you are hereby ordered to lighten up. Your new job is in the bag, baby! Although I don't get why you want to be a professor anyway. That's just an instructor that has to wear ugly sweaters and those tacky chains on their glasses. Do you even get paid more?" Quistis shook her head, causing her golden hair to partially fall from its neat bun. "Then I wouldn't worry about it. They won't shut down the school just because of some skin flicks. After all, you tried to stop 'em." Considering the problem solved, Selphie turned her attention to her tepid coffee. "Hey, did you order decaf for me again? You know how I hate that stuff. Doesn't taste right."
Quistis peeked at Rinoa through the spaces between her long fingers. Horrified blue eyes met horrified brown as both ladies remembered the catastrophic effects that caffeine had on the overly energetic Selphie. The last time Selphie Tilmitt drank a cup of real coffee was legendary at Balamb Garden. Forever known by the sounds that Selphie made as she descended on the cafeteria, The Great Kablooey Incident was infamous as the biggest exodus of instructors and cleaning personnel ever from any of the three Gardens. And that included losses sustained during the War. One janitor was still missing, presumed to be in an asylum somewhere in Deling City, and another was begging for change in Balamb square. "How am I supposed to have any energy if you guys keep buying decaf for me? Maybe I'll organize a protest. 'We want caffeine! In our coffee beans!' Or 'No Joe? We won't go!' I should go make some posters, hmm, posters with glitter! I'll see you guys later."
Cries of 'Hey! You! Don't run off! I need some help starting a revolution!' followed her through the quad as students suddenly became very interested in heading to the library.
Watching the ball of energy bounce around in a mad attempt to recruit members to her coffee cause, Quistis said to Rinoa, "You know, I don't think she realizes that her blood uses caffeine instead of plasma as a transport medium."
The unexpected joke caught Rinoa off guard. "Why doesn't Selphie try talking to Xu? You take care of these movies and she can think of a brilliant way to organize SeeD to save the beans. I'm sure that decaf is top of her list of new Headmaster duties. Time Compression is nothing to the plight of caffeine addicts and espresso lovers worldwide." Rinoa smiled as her friend started to laugh quietly. She really did take things much too seriously for someone so young. She needs a break. A serious break. Work isn't everything. At least Selphie understands that. Poor Quisty can't seem to grasp the concept. I'll have to get her out of that classroom every now and again. "Well, at least you're finally having some fun again. But we better get going as well. I have to meet Squall and your next class is in a few minutes. I'll walk you up there."
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After gathering her paperwork and the improvised paper cup missile she fired at Selphie, Quistis set off beside Rinoa on their way back to the classrooms. Reaching the door to the lecture hall, Rinoa gave Quistis a quick grin. "Call me tonight and we'll round up Selphie to watch some movies that don't feature nude Balamb grads. You look like you could use a good comedy, or maybe a nice musical. I'll get a message to Zone too. I've not talked to him or Watts in a couple of weeks now." Her grin grew a little wider. "I'm sure he'll reconsider making these films if I tell him that you might have problems explaining them to the head office. Remember when he gave that last train ticket to you when we tried to leave Timber? Zone has always thought of me as his little sister and didn't want me running off with a bunch of mercenaries. But then again, he hated to see you so disappointed. Poor Zee couldn't stand the thought of causing any kind of inconvenience for you."
Quistis was beginning to think that Rinoa's face might split if her smile kept growing like that. "Hmmm, it has be your hair. That guy always has been a fool for blondes. I still think he's kind of sweet on you. Ooh, gotta go, Quisty! Call me when you get finished today!"
"Great", sighed Quistis as she settled her papers on her massive desk and organized her notes for the last lecture of the day, 'Advanced Casting and Item Refinement'. It was going to be a very, very long class. Item refinement was a difficult subject that normally floored her students. It didn't help that most of her male students (and one or two females) spent the majority of her lectures staring at her instead of taking notes. "On top of everything else, another damn Trepie."
