Author's notes :
I finally decided on separating the 1st chapter in 3 distinct parts, and adding scenes to the 2nd and 3rd ones. This one now holds a Luffy introspection scene. I tried to stay in character, but I think I went a little overboard with Luffy - then again, he's such a fickle, whimsical nature (which is why I like his character so much to begin with) that it can't really be helped, I think, when writing fics showing his emotional state. Most of the time, it looks like he barely has any... ^^;
Please, tell me what you think about this fic! I strive on improving my English skills , so all advises are welcome - English isn't my first language, so please, be gentle. :3
I still don't own any character, they're Oda's, and he's some kind of God...?
Enjoy~!
Nami was sunbathing on the boat's deck. She could feel the Sun's warmth on her skin, and hear her nakama talking a few feet away. Usopp was telling Luffy and Chopper about some imaginary adventure he'd had.
"And that's how, after our fateful meeting, all hamster had learned to store their food in their cheeks."
"Oooh, that's great Usopp! I didn't even know that hamsters could do that!" chopper said, his eyes glittering like the whole galaxy.
Luffy was stuffing snacks Sanji had brought earlier into his mouth, and when he turned around, they could all see he hadn't swallowed any of it, and had stored it in his cheeks, along his jaw, in the hamster fashion.
"Oooh, Luffy, that's great! You're just like a hamster!" It was clear this had just made Chopper's day.
Luffy turned to face Nami and Robin, who was sunbathing while reading yet another book just behind her.
"Hey! Look! I'm a hamster!" He noticed Nami was looking at him, and grinned widely at her, which made some food fall from his mouth.
"Ah! My snacks!"
Nami felt a discouraged smile creeping on her face. He was such an idiot.
She heard a quiet chuckling behind her. She turned to Robin.
"What are you laughing about?"
"Don't you think our captain is funny?"
Nami turned back and looked at Luffy. He had tried to swallow it all in a single gulp, and was now chocking. Chopper was calling for a doctor, once again not realizing right away that he was, indeed, the only doctor in the vicinity.
"Well, that's a way to view things…"
Robin chuckled again. "You and him seem to have had quite an affair recently."
Heh? What did she know? Nobody could have seen what had happened a few days ago, in the crow's nest. She eyed Robin suspiciously.
"Now, you shouldn't be the one saying that kind of stuff, Miss I-like-moss-ball-headed swordsmen."
"Oh, I see that you are on the ball." She smiled. "But that wasn't what I was talking about. Unless you have something to confess?"
Robin was definitely too perceptive for her own good…
"I still don't get it." Nami finally answered after a moment.
"What's to get? He obviously cares about you, but something must have happened, because he's been avoiding you for the past few days. He treats you like a glass doll that could break if he makes too much noise, so that he doesn't even dare looking at you most of the time, and even less talking to you, in private at least."
Nami couldn't help but notice that this was a perfect summary of the current situation. Luffy hadn't really be avoiding her, he tried his best to act like nothing happened, but he seemed nearly afraid of getting too close to her. She could understand that reaction, but she still didn't know what the reason for all this was.
"What does he care? That goofball…"
Robin started laughing again. "That's not a very nice thing to say. I pity the goofball that falls for you."
Nami sighed.
"If my advice is of any help to you, I think he's afraid."
"What, he's afraid of me?"
"The people we care the most for are the ones in the most likely position of hurting us in the worst way."
Robin looked pensive all of a sudden. She was looking at the horizon, and wasn't smiling anymore. She must have been hurt by someone she loved, Nami thought.
Robin sighed, and started smiling again.
"You're nicer than I am, Miss Navigator."
"Heh?"
"I don't mind when my men are a little wary. Actually, I think I like it. If they're scared of me, it means I have the upper hand. But it seems to trouble you, which makes you a nice and forgiving person. Which I am not."
"Do you mean Zoro's scared of you?" Nami grinned.
Robin chuckled. "I wonder about that."
She turned to Nami. "Anyway, just leave him some time. He'll end up knowing what he really wants, and what he's ready to risk in order to get it, at some point. And if you're tired of waiting, you can still choose to push the right buttons." She chuckled. "I know for a fact that it works. Somehow."
Nami was wondering what kind of buttons Robin had pushed to get Zoro to admit to himself that his obsession with her was more than just his way of protecting his nakama. Oh well, it wasn't her business after all. She already had more than enough on her mind lately.
Luffy was sitting on Merry's head, his hat covering his face, pretending to sleep. He wanted time to think, which was unusual in itself, and he didn't want to alarm his crewmates – even less answer their prying questions if they noticed his thoughtful mood.
He was, for what was maybe the first time in his life, confused. And he hated it.
He had always been a passionate, straightforward nature. He wasn't smart like Robin was, or cunning, which was Nami's specialty. Complicated contraptions escaped him, as did complex scientific explanations. But, despite what most people thought – himself included, he was far from being stupid.
Would a problem arise, he'd rapidly consider whatever possibilities he had, and go with what his heart suggested was the right thing to do, which, unbeknownst to him, was the sign of a discerning, innate analytic mind. Because of this, doubts, hesitation, and confusion were things never he had to experience.
That is, until recently, because he started revising the way he comprehended love.
As far as love was concerned, Luffy would always give his, entirely, unconditionally, to anyone he decided was worthy. And, to be honest, almost everyone was. The people who took care of him when he was a kid. His brother, Ace. Shanks, and his crew. People he'd made friends with over the years. And, of course, his nakamas.
They were all equally dear to him.
He loved how Usopp would tell flamboyant stories he made up on any occasion. He loved when Robin chuckled quietly at his antics. He loved how Chopper would get all flushed when flattered, and would deny it while trying to hide his embarrassment by insulting his friends. He also loved how Zoro would hide his gentle and caring nature under a grouchy front, and how Sanji would sometimes look bored when the later was napping, because he missed his witty and insulting comments – not that he would admit it in front of anyone. Damn, he even loved when Sanji would act like an idiot in front of Robin and Nami. He didn't feel jealous when he did this, not even a little bit. And he loved when Nami's eyes would sparkle at the slightest mention of riches or treasure.
Nami...
When he first met Nami, as soon as he knew she had great navigation skills, he'd decided she'd be their crew's navigator. He could have accommodated someone else, to be honest, but then, several things happened. The more time passed, the more he could notice she was, to put it simply, nice. Worthy of the same love he gave people who were important to him. She hurt her hands, which were her main tool for drawing maps, which was inherent to her dream, in order to save him from Buggy's canon, even though they barely knew each other. She was also brave – she had tried to save her entire village from Arlong on her own, working steadily towards her goal for years. And when she had asked for his help...
Even now, he could remember the whole scene just by closing his eyes. When he had seen that frail, delicate looking girl, falling on her knees, clutching on her own hair from desperation, letting out cries of pain, of rage, cursing with all she had at the one responsible for the hell that was her life, grabbing a knife and assaulting her own body, corrupted by the treason of someone she never trusted to begin with, something stirred within him. Before he could help it, he had caught her hand, forcing her to stop. And when she turned to him, with tears running from her eyes, down her cheeks, a look of utmost hopelessness on her flushed face, he knew that he couldn't let her down, and also, that she was the only navigator he wanted for his crew.
At this time, he had realized that he was definitely worthy of his acknowledgment – and of his love. He also knew there was something else, but since he couldn't pinpoint it, he didn't think about it further. But he knew about this difference. He hadn't lent his hat to anyone before that one time, when Nami turned to him, and asked for his help. Nami, who didn't trust anyone, had placed her last hope in his hands. She had decided to trust him despite her defiant nature. He knew what this was costing her, and he felt like the only thing he could give of equal value was his own, absolute and unconditional trust. His hat was his most treasured possession, and lending it to her seemed the only gesture to make her understand that he knew how hard this was for her, and how dearly he'd treat the precious trust she had placed in him.
Since that time, all her actions aboard the boat, as well as the way she was around others, on each step of their journey, everything would confirm his decision had been right. She was his nakama, he loved her, and she proved hundreds time that she was definitely worth his own trust.
Everything was simple back then. His understanding of love was simple.
Back then, he never noticed how small dimples would appear on her cheeks when she laughed her heart out. Never noticed how pretty she was when she smiled, either. Or how her eyes looked almost golden in the sunset light. How her hair would lightly brush her face when she had fallen asleep at her desk, after working late on a map. How small and delicate her hands were – the same hands she had hurt while trying to save him, even though she met him for the first time earlier that day. How thin her waist was, before he had to cling to her while she drove him to the top of the giant beanstalk, in Skypiea, when they were after Enel. How his heart would start beating faster when he looked at her – and even faster when she looked at him.
There he was again, thinking about all that was charming about her! He reached for his hat and drove it further on his face, feeling himself blushing at the thought of what they had almost done.
Before he had even realized what was happening, Monkey D. Luffy, for the first time in his life, was in love.
He had successfully suppressed such thoughts for a while, but that day...
When he had seen Robin and Zoro kissing, he had suddenly realized – he had forgotten, the mere thought tucked neatly in an obscure corner of his mind – that love was versatile, and that the kind of love he used to know – and gave without any restraints – wasn't the only one that existed. That the the love he felt for Nami was different from what he felt for the others. He didn't think Usopp or Chopper, or even Robin, were pretty. Looking at them didn't make his heart race. He didn't feel like he wanted to touch them, and didn't miss the touch when he couldn't either.
When Nami had kissed him, in the crow's nest, he had felt overwhelmed by the new emotions, the unknown sensations – he loved experiencing new things, and he felt thrilled. Her lips were so soft, her body so thin and warm against his, her skin so smooth, her smell, so intoxicating... He had almost lost it, but he sobered abruptly when he felt her shivering between his arms.
He had, for a short and wonderful moment, thought that she felt the same way as he did. But the light shaking from the lithe body beneath his forced him into remembering that Nami was a worrier, that she would always get upset at the slightest things, and that she tended to over-analyze things. Nami simply thought too much. He then started wondering about her reasons for kissing him back. He started doubting the rightfulness of his own behavior, or that it was a good idea at all.
Once again, he was experiencing something for the first time in his life, but these doubts had given his first love a bittersweet aftertaste.
He sighed under his hat. Maybe he had spoiled it all. They hadn't talked about it again. He tried his best to act naturally around her, but he was so scared she'd get mad at him, that she wouldn't like him anymore after all this, that she would hurt him in a way he wasn't prepared for, that he still avoided being alone with her.
And, truth be told, she hadn't seemed interested in talking about it. It worried him.
He suddenly sat up, shook his head to clear his thoughts, and put his hat back on his head. He then sighed.
He was feeling hungry.
